If he suspects you are cheating on him, but you arent.
Then Start.
Since your paying for it anyway.
LOL not the most mature solution - but Probably more mature than giving your account passwords to someone who doesnt trust you.
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How to prove to someone you are not someone else on SL? |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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10-01-2007 09:35
Well theres also the classic option
If he suspects you are cheating on him, but you arent. Then Start. Since your paying for it anyway. LOL not the most mature solution - but Probably more mature than giving your account passwords to someone who doesnt trust you. |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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10-01-2007 09:37
Best thing said here yet. Well some people react very badly to ultimatums. Which is what that is. Of course if your ina relationship and you are at the point you feel you need to give an ultimatum, Is it still even worth it? Especially if its just an online relationship. |
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Joseph Abel
Leaves no pawprints...
Join date: 20 Aug 2006
Posts: 781
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10-01-2007 09:45
Jodi - if you won't change your passwords, at least be respectful to your boyfriend, and up your credit limit on the card you have attached to your account...I'd say another $5,000 dollars to that limit will keep him happy and trusting you...
...just sayin'... _____________________
Nimbus rated!!
So your final Nimbus Score is a grand total of 8.55. A magnificent achievement! |
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Asher Bertrand
Registered User
Join date: 12 Jun 2006
Posts: 41
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10-01-2007 09:47
Well some people react very badly to ultimatums. Which is what that is. Of course if your ina relationship and you are at the point you feel you need to give an ultimatum, Is it still even worth it? Especially if its just an online relationship. I don't know about the "just" part, as things that start as "just" online can become quite deep. However, I do know that this guy appears to be showing classic patterns of abusive behavior. Cut and run is certainly a valid option. Another is to tell him that you won't put up with it, give him a chance ... and THEN cut and run. The salient point here is really the cutting and running. Unless, by some epiphany, he gets a clue. |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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10-01-2007 09:47
Jodi - if you won't change your passwords, at least be respectful to your boyfriend, and up your credit limit on the card you have attached to your account...I'd say another $5,000 dollars to that limit will keep him happy and trusting you... ...just sayin'... Yeah that way when he robs you blind then at least he can do it in style. |
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Mia Lian
Registered User
Join date: 27 Jan 2007
Posts: 18
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10-01-2007 09:51
It's not about identity, it's not about trust, this person wants to control you. And by your unwillingness to take good advices I'd say - you like this, you think this makes you important. You're wrong.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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10-01-2007 09:55
I don't know about the "just" part, as things that start as "just" online can become quite deep. However, I do know that this guy appears to be showing classic patterns of abusive behavior. Cut and run is certainly a valid option. Another is to tell him that you won't put up with it, give him a chance ... and THEN cut and run. The salient point here is really the cutting and running. Unless, by some epiphany, he gets a clue. Theres a lot of reasons for it to be just. If you want the feelings involved to not be part of the "just" part - k, that makes sense Its still "Just online" - becuase it doesnt involve things like divorce, custody battles, pregnacy and STD tests, Keying of his car, putting an Iron through his big screen TV, etc , etc. |
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Har Fairweather
Registered User
Join date: 24 Jan 2007
Posts: 2,320
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10-01-2007 10:00
This guy is manipulative and is seeing how much he can impose on you. No doubt he is charming: Manipulative people learn to do that. This guy is not your lover, he is your user. Get rid of him. Do it today. And even before you do that, CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS!!!
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Joseph Abel
Leaves no pawprints...
Join date: 20 Aug 2006
Posts: 781
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10-01-2007 10:01
...Keying of his car, putting an Iron through his big screen TV... /me whimpers...noooo!!!!! _____________________
Nimbus rated!!
So your final Nimbus Score is a grand total of 8.55. A magnificent achievement! |
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Joss Noel
is clueless!
Join date: 25 Mar 2007
Posts: 201
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10-01-2007 10:16
Alternatively, we could just send the boys round, cage him up and orbit him into space. Anyone up for it???
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Milla Alexandre
Milla Alexandre
Join date: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1,759
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Um,
10-01-2007 10:28
I'd say that person has issues and you need to disassociate from them immediately! There's no real way to 'prove' you are who you are...even IRL there are people who question everything.They are unstable and often dangerous, not healthy to be involved with in any context.
I had a guy early on who suddenly....out of the blue....decided I was a guy.....we had a discussion...which became an argument....where I offered every proof I could think of....and he refused to even accept any proof...and continued his rant....accusing me of being sick and twisted and so on.... It blew my mind. He ended up muting me! LOL I took him off my freinds list and never heard from him again, which I'm quite happy about. I have no use for someone who is that paranoid and unstable.... It's scary to imagine what this guy(?) is like IRL... and he told me he was a cop! (I really hope he was lying on that one!) |
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jodi Dimsum
Sculptor
Join date: 24 May 2006
Posts: 25
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10-01-2007 19:20
Thanks for the concern everyone. I have changed my password, although it's not necessary
 One thing I need to point out, is he never asked me for my passwords. We've known each other for over 7 years and he has given me his passwords on another website we've played. He fully trusted me as well. Right from the beginning, he didn't have an account but I wanted him to try out SL so I let him log on with my account, he loves the game and joined after. I thought he felt a bit insecure with our relationship so I gave him the password of my other account as well, just to prove to him I have nothing to hide from him. He loves to build but couldn't be bother to make an alt. I let him log on my accounts so he can do some tests with his works sometimes. He's not greedy and will never take anything that doesn't belong to him. Things aren't appear as what they really are sometimes. I said something terrible to him and hurt his ego during an argument, then something happened and made him mistaken me for another person. It's purely unlucky for me and I just can't find a way to prove to him that I am not the 3rd person. I am sorry I didn't make it clear enough at the beginning, partly due to my poor English -_- |
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Alesia Schumann
Registered User
Join date: 13 May 2007
Posts: 88
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10-01-2007 19:58
I got mistaken for someone else. Someone thinks I play with another account and I have no way to prove to him I am not. I do have an alt which I have stopped using and he knows about it. The person got mistaken for me is nice enough and tried prove to him but still wouldn't help. How can I clear myself? How about this statement: "Believe me or go to hell" _____________________
Exhibit A Photography, for profile pictures:
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Oakworm/24/248/21 My items on Xstreet SL: http://www.xstreetsl.com/modules.php?name=Marketplace&MerchantID=77918 |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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10-01-2007 20:16
Thanks for the concern everyone. I have changed my password, although it's not necessary One thing I need to point out, is he never asked me for my passwords. We've known each other for over 7 years and he has given me his passwords on another website we've played. He fully trusted me as well. Right from the beginning, he didn't have an account but I wanted him to try out SL so I let him log on with my account, he loves the game and joined after. I thought he felt a bit insecure with our relationship so I gave him the password of my other account as well, just to prove to him I have nothing to hide from him. He loves to build but couldn't be bother to make an alt. I let him log on my accounts so he can do some tests with his works sometimes. He's not greedy and will never take anything that doesn't belong to him. Things aren't appear as what they really are sometimes. I said something terrible to him and hurt his ego during an argument, then something happened and made him mistaken me for another person. It's purely unlucky for me and I just can't find a way to prove to him that I am not the 3rd person. I am sorry I didn't make it clear enough at the beginning, partly due to my poor English -_- If youve known him 7 years - maybe convince him over the phone. If you two dont talk on the phone after 7 years, then you must have an internet understanding. If so -- its really weird he decided to stop trusting you after all this time, just becuase of an arguement. |
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Bree Giffen
♥♣♦♠ Furrtune Hunter ♠♦♣♥
Join date: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 2,715
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10-01-2007 20:22
Explain to him that if this third person was indeed a completely different person how would he expect this person to agree to proving themselves? If I were this third person who was being confused with you I would AR both you and your boyfriend for harassment.
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Osprey Therian
I want capslocklock
Join date: 6 Jul 2004
Posts: 5,049
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10-01-2007 20:36
This kind of thing - not valuing yourself and being manipulated by a control freak - would be useful to experience and get over in VR rather than having to experince it for real, but do you think any real learning happens through virtual relationships? I'd like to think so but I'm not sure. I am not thinking just of this case but in general.
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Nina Stepford
was lied to by LL
Join date: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 3,373
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10-01-2007 21:16
so did you all go talk on voice together yet? if so, how did that go?
Thanks for the concern everyone. I have changed my password, although it's not necessary One thing I need to point out, is he never asked me for my passwords. We've known each other for over 7 years and he has given me his passwords on another website we've played. He fully trusted me as well. Right from the beginning, he didn't have an account but I wanted him to try out SL so I let him log on with my account, he loves the game and joined after. I thought he felt a bit insecure with our relationship so I gave him the password of my other account as well, just to prove to him I have nothing to hide from him. He loves to build but couldn't be bother to make an alt. I let him log on my accounts so he can do some tests with his works sometimes. He's not greedy and will never take anything that doesn't belong to him. Things aren't appear as what they really are sometimes. I said something terrible to him and hurt his ego during an argument, then something happened and made him mistaken me for another person. It's purely unlucky for me and I just can't find a way to prove to him that I am not the 3rd person. I am sorry I didn't make it clear enough at the beginning, partly due to my poor English -_- |
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Maggie McArdle
FIOS hates puppies
Join date: 8 May 2006
Posts: 2,855
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10-02-2007 02:16
I can't do that. I am so attach to him. I gave him the passwords of both my accounts long ago, just to prove to him I have nothing to hide from him and he still wouldn't believe me v_v But he will never do things like your friend's bf did. He's not that kind of person. O.O??? _____________________
There's, uh, probably a lot of things you didn't know about lindens. Another, another interesting, uh, lindenism, uh, there are only three jobs available to a linden. The first is making shoes at night while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.You can bake cookies in a tree. But the third job, some call it, uh, "the show" or "the big dance," it's the profession that every linden aspires to.
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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10-02-2007 02:22
But I love him very much v_v Hmmm. Yes you might love him but he doesn't trust you. He probably doesn't trust anyone. You will pour your love and trust into a black hole proving "you are not like those other girls who hurt you". And you'll give, and give, and GIVE and give until you give it all up and guess what? He won't trust you. Then you'll get fed up of not being trusted and then you'll be the last in the line of "those girls who hurt you" to the next one in your position whom he doesn't trust. Bleak? Fraid my view on this IS bleak. Stick to having friends and having a good time! **edit*** Yes he's not that kind of a person. Yeah yeah yeah ... CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD it's a breach of the ToS to share it anyway. There's none so blind as those of us determined not to see, honey. Sorry, but we're saying what we are saying from bitter experience. |
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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10-02-2007 02:26
This kind of thing - not valuing yourself and being manipulated by a control freak - would be useful to experience and get over in VR rather than having to experince it for real, but do you think any real learning happens through virtual relationships? I'd like to think so but I'm not sure. I am not thinking just of this case but in general. Oh I think there can be real learning all right LOL ... if you have the sense to not keep making the same mistakes over and over again! |
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Cherry Czervik
Came To Her Senses
Join date: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 3,680
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10-02-2007 02:37
I don't know about the "just" part, as things that start as "just" online can become quite deep. However, I do know that this guy appears to be showing classic patterns of abusive behavior. Cut and run is certainly a valid option. Another is to tell him that you won't put up with it, give him a chance ... and THEN cut and run. The salient point here is really the cutting and running. Unless, by some epiphany, he gets a clue. Oh yes - be prepared that nothing you do will be right. If you try to be nice, if you are not nice, if you ignore him ... nothing will be right ... You sound like a nice caring person, sweetie, but don't let yourself be trampled. |
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Malachi Petunia
Gentle Miscreant
Join date: 21 Sep 2003
Posts: 3,414
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because my sim is down
10-02-2007 02:38
And he loves you so much, he's basically accusing you of being a liar for no justified reason. I think the boyfriend AV is being played by someone else and the OP should force him to prove that it is really him. Or perhaps both avatars have switched owners and are now each other and they should be compelled to prove that they are the other person. Or maybe one is from an island whose inhabitants always lie and the other from an island whose people always tell the truth and they should find a third person and only allow that person to ask one question to distinguish between them and the third person is only allowed to ask "do you love the other party?".  |
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Talon DeCuir
Angel
Join date: 19 May 2007
Posts: 350
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10-02-2007 07:08
This kind of thing - not valuing yourself and being manipulated by a control freak - would be useful to experience and get over in VR rather than having to experince it for real, but do you think any real learning happens through virtual relationships? I'd like to think so but I'm not sure. I am not thinking just of this case but in general. For me it has. SL has gotten me out of my narrow view of "this is all it is, this is all I can ever hope for" . My RL is undergoing massive change right now, all because of the insights that I knew in my heart - but were "proven" correct here in SL. In the end, I will be better off for it. |
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bilbo99 Emu
Garrett's No.1 fan
Join date: 27 Oct 2006
Posts: 3,468
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10-02-2007 07:26
For me it has. SL has gotten me out of my narrow view of "this is all it is, this is all I can ever hope for" . My RL is undergoing massive change right now, all because of the insights that I knew in my heart - but were "proven" correct here in SL. In the end, I will be better off for it. That's good to hear Talon, thankyou for sharing. I'm certain SL is beneficial to the large majority of us. *snip* _____________________
Be polite .. that newbie could be your next ex-partner.
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Love Hastings
#66666
Join date: 21 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,094
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10-02-2007 07:44
SL can open one to new horizons, but it's also important to note that SL often exaggerates those new horizons too. There's no daily grind of life - basically everything in-world is fun and enjoyment (or at least it should be or you're doing it wrong). And without consequences, actions in-world are often more extreme than they ever could be in RL. Sure, it's liberating, but it's also unrealistic. At times. YMMV. But my point is, making RL changes based on SL activities can be a mistake.
Note the "can be"'s, "often"'s and "at times". In the case of the OP, I think she's getting exactly what she would get emotionally from a RL control freak like this. [EDITED out unfair characterization] I hope the OP has continued to read this thread, despite the message she doesn't want to hear. Love. |
