does SL stress you out?

I want to find something. Search is down. Or has never heard of a place I know is there. So I decide to do a little building. Ooops, the sim is down. Or I teleport and arrive bald with my necklace in my hand and my shoes up my ass. Or half underground. I walk to my build, sink through the ground, walk out to sea, and have to wait to be magically returned. Or if I get inside, the kitchen floor prim has corrupted and I fall through.

Or, on another day, everything works perfectly. And those are just the SL frustrations. Then there are the ones I create for myself:

The two businesses, one failed, one failing. The compulsion to keep coming up with new products because, like lottery tickets, this one might be the one! The rush when I actually make thirty cents on Slex. The depression that this happens maybe once or twice a week. RL intruding on the time it takes to learn alpha channels. The swirl of new ideas. The tier fees for the third piece of land I bought to house an obsession-build. The wish to build more, but how to justify an island when the same money could buy a car?

Grrr... I came here to promote a book! Why the heck did I have to go crazy?

LOL! Welcome to paradise, my friend! Isn't SL great?

Count me in sweetie xx

Roarth, when things that have transpired and people in Sl have hurt, disappointed, devastated, stressed and made me bawl my head off, a nice, hot bubble bath with some lavender bubbles absolutely did the trick!!! I just sat in warmth and made myself think of absolutely nothing!
Then I washed my hair, shaved my legs, put on a gorgeous face and a spray of my favorite perfume and played with my pup for a few hours.

Read the newspaper or a magazine. Watch a wonderful movie; in fact, watch a few..... Make yourself your favorite meal of dessert! Call a close friend and meet them at Starbucks for coffee for a few hours.... Go sit on the nearest mountain, beach, river, stream or a nice park and just "veg"; people watch and look at all the beauty around you in the earth.

In otherwords, do something nice for YOURSELF at least one day a week and get away from this place! It will do wonders for you and you'll live, I promise! =) Nothing and no one is worth this kind of stress that literally eats you alive. NOTHING AND NO ONE! =) Tonzzzz of Hugzzzzz =)

Its clear that SL's can be addictive because it can give a sense of achievement (false in a lot of cases?), and instant gratification. Throw the mind on mind relationship thing into the melting pot and yeah!!..it can get stressfull..lol. Mmmm...i think its really the relationship thing that can stress huh? Be it a romance or just dealing with a griefer.
I deal with griefers with humour...that usually p***** them off..they want to cause you grief..not make you laugh
Romance?...i did the 100% one on one thing...loved it!!...but it seems that a whole relationship...even the very best ones...are in danger of running their course in weeks or months..and its going to hurt a bit at the end..and thats not always easy to see if you've not done it. Now i keep things much lighter, just relax and enjoy some fun with kindred spirits. Anyway, my point is..lol...that knowledge was hard won and for sure caused some stress at times. Now i'm enjoying SL more than ever, and it feels like having been through all that i've finally learned how to play. It is transient..people come and go...if you give your all to SL its gonna hurt you. I see myself as having a human firewall now..lol..open ports to let the good bits in. The good bits being mostly those kindred spirits who have been around a bit and i can get really close to knowing no ones going to get hurt.
So...do you actually adapt?..stress and hurt a bit...then come out the otherside with a more realistic view of what SL can give you..and what you should give it?

Very true, and very good advice. It's very important to keep this reality in mind when assessing your RL emotions vis-a-vis SL. The reality is that in the overwhelming majority of cases, relationships run their course in a few months and/or one of the persons surfs right out of SL, either for a while or for good. It's a part of what SL is -- remember, it's a part of you life, and one that is easily done away with (and for others as well), so keep that in mind when dealing with others.

Yes sl does stress me out a lot. Especially when people are cruel or dishonest. Many times I have regretted coming to this game at all but yet I cant seem to leave for very long. Sl does have its good points too, but if I had it to do over again I would have stayed here a lot less. Dont take it seriously anymore that is all you can do .

Elinah

For a first post this is very insightful.

RL can skew your perception, totally, and at the end of the day the only real constants in my SL have been my friends, I am vrey lucky in that I generally can make friends easily and I have met some wonderful people. Being suffocated really did not suit me one little bit and I think I agree with you that giving your all to SL *will* hurt you just the same as giving your all to anything will. Same goes for RL pursuits but of course the idea of doing what you can not rl makes things very tempting.

And there are a lot of people on here who are quite vulnerable, in one way or another - be that in general or else due to a traumatic experience.

I find it ironic how many some other people were heartbroken by my relationship breakdown here - they were counting on it as some sort of perfection they could emulate. Shame in many ways they didn't see the reality ... and my friends all just waiting for the course to run ...

*EDIT* Yes ... those who have been around a bit. Those people also appreciate their good fortune in meeting someone on the same level ... chuckles ... instead of doing the 'SL owes me something' schtick.

SL can let you experience emotions...on a regular basis...that you might rarely feel in RL.
Or you can play in SL with complete emotional detachment....and maybe not get whats good about it at all...there are plenty of people wandering about SL wondering where the "game" is huh
Emotion and really connecting with someone can be stressfull...in a world where people move on or out at the drop of a hat..lol. For me staying stress free came with maturity in SL...i had to experience the whole SL romance and burn out thing...lmao..before i could put SL in its place. I still love the emotional (and i aint just talking about a hug and a kiss here) side of SL...really connecting with someone so closely you can feel them..but i find now its best all round to do so with people who have also been through all that too.
So message for anyone new and stressing over an SL relationship Its all part of the learning curve. Your not the only one losing sleep...daydreaming...maybe worrying..okay?
And in time i hope you'll find you can still be really close to people without is spiralling into something stressfull...i think its all about adapting...understanding SL's limitations..and taking it as it comes

Yes Sl stresses me out........ becasue when it comes down to it ... people are very angry by nature

I don`t get it? Are you meaning that you thought you were releasing something unique but then you ended up seeing similar things had already been made?

And concerning the guy who jumped on your case, oh please, that`s ever so childish. I`m sick of that nonsense here in SL. People need to get a freakin` grip.

You know the sad thing is? Accusations like that happen so much, it hinders people from releasing due to sheer fear they`re going to get stoned for releasing something similar to someone elses item, that`s sad, and it needs to be stopped.

I`m tired of people assuming everyone on the grid knows who they are and what they`ve done. Tired of people thinking they own some copyright to the color green. They have their heads too far in the clouds and need to realize they didn`t invent sht.

Umm .. how you feel about physics technicians Oryx .. honey? .. /me flashes eyelids

/me thinks .. ex-stripper who likes physicists .. <swoon>


NO I'M NOT!!!!

No, I didn't think it was unique. It was a costume that we just both happened to make. I knew when I set out to make mine that I would encounter others that would make the same costume. I wouldn't have cared, nor would I have said a word about it to anyone..because the costume wasn't MY idea. In the same respect though, I didn't steal anyone's idea (as far as SL goes) either.
I think the person in question just freaked out/overreacted/had a bad day...but who knows. I'm a fairly tolerant person under any circumstances and don't let things just get to me, but in one like this, I didn't know what to think or say. It's past now, I've gotten to the point where I can at least not sit around wondering if that ONE release is still haunting me, as the person dropped it a while back.

I got that part.

I was referring to this, sorry. " since then, this past week specifically, I have made many things only to go somewhere else and see something similar or the same"

yesh.

~Ari

You don`t have permission to redistribute my green smiley face.

Foiled again!

~Ari

The fact that SL is ow your RL income is the root of your stress.
Its that simple.
As soon as you start to depend on something the fear of it disapearing from either competition or maybe if SL ceased to exsist then you become almost obsessed

Example: I wake up every day at 6am - 7am, make my crappy fake coffee ( I have systemic candida so have to eat bland dull stuff and that doesnt help! WOW I used to eat sweets and chocolate when I was down, I also have M.E and malignan melanoma so yeah my energy is low. ) then goto my downstairs PC and log in.
So as SOON as I wake I am in there. Dealing with notecards and issues that have occured overnight as I am from the UK the busiest time in the store is when Im asleep.

I will stay logged in dealing with anything ranging from custom orders to issues and questions from the group of 35 artists or maybe the scripter etc and If Im REALLY lucky I get a report from a customer of a reseller so that instantly gets my stress up.
I pass them onto TRUs copyright agent now ( good move because I went in all guns ablazing as I do, and it only made them defensive and hostile. Shes not personally involved and can handle them without emotion. It generally gets a better result )

I log off from between 9am till 10am do the house work have a bath get dress have my crappy porridge with rice milk lol then I do one of 2 things usually crank up Photoshop.
If its just not flowing that day and I cant create anything I will log back in and help customers have meetings with staff in skype.

A working day can and does last from the moment I wake to the moment I fall i nbed.

And THATS the problem. I drive myself too hard. Make myself iller than I am so I dont 'feel' well enough to go walking or shopping but I can sit at a PC.

The amount of times I get told to read a book relax have a day off and i know their right but I cant help myself. I cant leave it alone...always trying to make more and more sets, always pushing us further and further trying to keep one step ahead of the ' heel snappers' coming up behind me wanting a slice of TRUs pie. LOL

End of the day, if SL ends or your business its not like we can just go find another job is it>
Even if we were running a business in the Real world if that fails you start over. We depend on LL and SL to support our business and that alone makes one feel insecure.

It takes strong determination to unplug the PC but when I went on a short vacation in Sept OMG the stress just drained from me...and I was still falling asleep at 9pm everynight but thats yrs and yrs of not taking a day off and working from dawn till dusk 7 days a week.

It IS a job and it IS demending...in some ways more than a RL job or business.
YOur dealing with ppl who " treat it as a game " and rip and scam thats another reason to make you feel threatened. LL dont really help or support us in that respect so were left almost stood outside our business fortes with pitchforks like mad men !

Its damb stressful and to come to the forums is ALWAYs a bad idea. The anger and emotion forums create can be VERY stressful I see your a heavy user by my standards
I avoid them they attract and create drama and I have enough of that in my work thank you.

Also because SL is a full time job for me the only socialising I get is with customers asking for txtrs. So as well as being stress Im actually quite lonley.
EVen If i did have some fun my IMs dont stop. SO whats the point?
I know I can use an alt and maybe thats my ego stopping me.... or maybe its because it goes back to the fact Im obsessed. I see SL as work now and have lost touch with friends.

It also depends on your personality type one thing for sure, sooner or later it will lead to depression and anxiety as it does and has with me,

Your choice

That one line says it all
Amen
once SL stops being a game, and becomes a job, the fun level goes down and the stress goes up

Hhhhmmm does cussing out the computer, yelling at the screen waiting for an answer and punching the screen count?

How did I miss this thread?
arrrrggggg!!!
I’ll get back to ya…

nope

Back in the olden days of SL, another AV I had was a known builder, texture maker, group leader, island owner and DJ (not under this AV name, and don't ask, I'm not saying). Along the way to having all that, I kept thinking that once I had it, SL would get easier. If I just had more land, I'd have more control, so I kept upgrading. If I had my own group, I wouldn't have to put up with political nonsense, so I started one... then two... then three... with different permissions and governances for each one. If I had my own radio station, then I could broadcast what I wanted when I wanted, so I got one of those. If I had my own island, then I could do anything. Right? RIGHT?!? So I put down the 2K + 2C a month and thought... this is it. Now, nothing can go wrong. I'll finally be able to do what I'd envisioned.

But the truth is that the stress of it nearly ended two friendships in RL over intra-group politics. One fellow in our group almost lost his fiancee over the goings on. We had our island shut down by LL for a few days due to the activities of a rogue group member who hung a bunch of dead jews and Nazi paraphrenalia all over my castle. People were finding out who they had just cybered and not liking that. Other groups were making Mafioso-esque hits on our events to try to grief away our guests so our traffic level would go down. I had Goreans and their slaves, Vampires and their food, Furries and their... whatevers...all trying to interact without feelings getting hurt, and that was impossible. Trying to negotiate rentals, talk to LL about TeenSL, manage group dynamics and land....Somehow, I was supposed to handle this chaos, and all I ever wanted to do was build neat stuff.

I took a trip to New Orleans for a few days and while I was gone, a crisis erupted in SL with the Nazi, and when my group started calling me on my cell phone while I was enjoying a sazerac on Bourbon street, I realized how absurd it all was. I was paying $200 a month to be stressed out over a game that was supposed to be fun. Bourbon street was fun. So I quit. LL pestered me for a little while about it, but now my measely $200/month is nothing in the grand scheme of things, so it isn't like the community lost much without me.

I'm back because I kept hearing about SL on NPR almost every day, and I was curious to see what's been happening. In a way, I regret leaving because if I'd stayed I'd probably be a mover-shaker. I see things and say, "Ha! I remember when that guy first started!" But at the same time, if I'd stayed, I would have missed out on Paris, starting my own art gallery, a good portion of my son's upbringing and many other fantastic RL experiences. I've decided that if SL gets to interfere too much again, I'll quit again.


I think the important thing to remember is that no matter how neat SL is -- and it is very neat -- it is just one part of RL. One vector of experience. One perspective through the metered lense of technology. While I think that it will continue to be an important part of our culture, it's no replacement for the way the Loire valley smells on a fresh spring morning.

- L.

honestly?

yeah sometimes (which is pretty good for a scripter)

but think about it Rha, you've made an unconscious choice, assigned yourself an obligation to do something, and it's taking the fun away...

things to try:
Make a conscious choice to write off idiots, mute, ignore, TP, whatever... DECIDE to make them not worth your time

Stop being nice to a*holes.. seriously, they don't deserver the effort, tell them off (which will relieve your stress) mute them, then wear a smug grin

business wearing you down? get some trusted help, let them take care of light duties to take away some of the grind. heck maybe even take some extra time off

don't over obligate yourself. if having too many projects going is stressful get rid of some, or at the very least don't stack them

take time to enjoy the fun parts... if all you do in SL is work, it's gonna feel like work, and you won't enjoy it... make sure to have fun too, include it in the work if you can (I like to shop around to see what others are doing for similar stuff, get to see neat builds, new ideas and the occasional random gem of an idea)

when dealing with idiots make a mental note of whether their opinion really matters... people tend to get over the top online, it's one thing to know it instinctively, and another to actually say it it to yourself... it might help you get in the right mindset for the idiots you HAVE to deal with

when it gets to much, and your blood is boiling.... walk away, literally get up, get a drink, consider how much it matters, and do something else... it's a hard thing to do sometimes, but it 'll drop you stress tremendously

know your habits when you get mad, I tend to beat up my mouse, and when the fingers reach the death grip stage I know it's time to chill out on something else.

laugh: laughter reduces stress, hang out with people that make you laugh, read silly things, or just point and snicker at people that deserve it =) make lots of inside and subtle jokes.. your friends will get them, and the targets won't (which makes it even funnier)

if none of this works, remember that when going postal, you need extra ammo, avoid metal detectors, and safeties should be off.... grenades and rocket launchers are lots of fun, if the targets aren't close, gasmasks with airsupplies are good, oh and drive carefully on the way to LL corporate headquarters, nothing worse than being stopped for speeding on the way =P

It's the old story. People take up hobbies as an escape, a diversion. As they get into it more and more the hobby itself becomes a stress. Even more so if you turn your hobby into a job.

I never get more than minimally stressed in SL. The main stress that affects my RL 'agent' is worry that they are spending too much time in SL giving me things to do, and not enough on other non-SL things.