does SL stress you out?

I recently found out I have high blood pressure, and I am sure the stresses of SL do not help me any.

I have not logged in at all today, checked forums off and on

yet I still find myself stressing out over things.

why do I let it get to me? Why do I let the things stress me out to the point it is dangerous?

does anyone else deal with this kind of thing directly in relation to SL?
Have you ever taken things so personally you want to cry, or you feel your pressure rising?

What do you do? How to you control it?

I can not just leave, SL is a RL income for me, but I can not handle the stress anymore.

I will be seeing a DR, so do not suggest that hehe.

Yes of course it can be. My cure for that is simply taking a break for a few days. I just dont log in for a day or two or three and just participate here.

can't just not log in for a day or 2 or 3, I have 2 jobs in SL that I am supposed to be at

taking off today from SL, but will have to make it up tomorrow...


*sigh*

at least I know I am not alone

Because you're human, would be the short answer to the why question.
And to become more personal, yes i have been very very upset over a very good friend leaving.
Suggestions: take several deep breaths, go for a walk, take a break, you know all the obvious ones, but also and quite importantly IMHO remember what drew you here in the first place.

I think any effort you are making that has the possibilies of success or failure will cause stress. So for me, RL or SL, it's not the environment that I'm using, it's what I'm doing in that environment that causes the stress.

Researchers have pointed out the difference between "good stress", where you worry and plan and work really hard on something where your efforts are related to your success -- and "bad stress", where you hang your hopes and dreams on something that you have no control over. In that respect, doing something in SL can be more stressful than doing something in RL, just due to the inherent instability of the SL world.

I wish I could remember what brought me to SL

it is strange, how SL does parallel the real world we live in, in so many many ways

emotionally, visually, mentally, socially, etc

I am sure there are many I am not thinking of...

parallel worlds really do exist, we "live" in one

No..........SL does not stress me at all. That's most likely because of the way I view the 'platform'. To me it's a game. I never saw it as a means to accomplish anything significant to RL...........except maybe a little recreation after a day of real life dealings. Everything I do in SL is for fun........even the "jobs". I spend hours making textures for clothes and buildings.........only to go in world and make things to use the textures on. Then, just to boost my ego, I give anything I make away to friends, newbies and anyone who expresses an interest.

Just a very basic difference in approach, I guess.

I thought I stepped into a parallel universe when I read the local newspaper online and it said:

Yes, it's a philosophical difference about what the SL experience is.

Xplorer Cannoli

first thing I thought... a flexi sculpture hehe

yeah i am sure that the usage of SL does make a world of difference

used to be SL did not stress me like it does now, then again, everything seems to stress me out

I got to get to the root of it

but why would SL stress me? why do I let it get to me?

why...

Rhaorth............I'm not trying to be mean or dismissing. But, honestly, when was the last time you did something fun in real life? Like go to dinner with your significant other? A movie? Gone water skiing, hiking, or called your best friend up for a morning cup of coffee?

Despite SL being a place where "anything is possible"...............it's not a substitute for real life.

Just some friendly thought.

SL can be stressful for some people because it puts a lot of pressure on them.

Essentially, it's advertised as an environment where you can be and do anything you want to. For many people that means that if - as things turn out - they don't actually manage to, they get hugely stressed out and down on themselves for failing in a world that they think was designed to make it easy.

The answer is to bear in mind, that the statement in question is an advertising claim, nothing more. There are some limits removed in the virtual world, but some are actually made worse and people are still people wherever you are.

You know what? This lesson got hammered home to me just yesterday. I was all wigged about the Forum Cartel project (for reasons left unsaid) and somebody called me on it, saying, "well you certainly have a way with words." That totally shocked me into realizing, DUH I'm here to have FUN! I felt like a total ass and was severely embarrassed the rest of the day.

I think it's easy to get too involved in political bullsh*t that happens every day in SL or RL. You just need to take a step back and ask yourself, "Why am I doing this? What do I get out of it?" If you can answer quickly and easily that it's fun and enjoyable, then just take a day or two off. If you can't honestly answer that you enjoy it, I'd take a long look at just what it is that you want in SL....

SL stresses me,yet I continue to log in...I have over the past few days eliminated a few of the "things" that were really stressing me out tho. *stands up, looks around the room and announces..." My name is Lexii and I am an SL addict" *

I have been told even good and pleasureable things cause stress.
There is good stress and their is bad stress. Avoiding stressful situations I have learned sometimes cause stress in themselves. I have tried. I still need to find challenges, things I want to do sometimes when they are new and risky I get really stressed out.
I don't think that is bad thing. It just I need to figure out better way of handle it.
Take time out to breathe, exercise, medation,etc.
It hard sometimes to tell the difference between good or bad stress..
I tend to get very frusterated when I am working on something and I can't figure it out or nothing working out right.
Also people tend to stress me out, chatting sometimes in world when I am not feeling well I notice gets to me. I am dealing with long term chronic illness so I am not feeling well 90 percent of the time.
I am pretty much a loner in real life with exception of my nurse,etc in real life I don't deal with a whole lot of people. I reccently broke it off with my boyfriend so small situations do
get me upset sometimes and re-enforces a stressed out reality. I have to often find ways to self comfort myself through those situations or stop and not react, take time outs.
So sometimes things happen in SL and I get upset sometimes I get emotional.
I don't cry but I get angry or get into negative self talk and become more withdrawn.
But I am like that in real life too when deal with people and new or difficult situations.
Learning new things has always been really difficult things is stressful for me.
The learning curve here is incredibly difficult. Yet I want to create so I must face the challenges of whole lot of very complex things. That is stressful but the rewards when I do something well really helps how I feel. I feel like I have faced a challenge and had moment of success but the journey to get their is sometimes difficult.
Also when I was trying to do my normal day to day stuff, plus added dealing with getting new clients, business here it stressed me out broiught up all my insecurities.
I decided personally that I am not going to worry about money or business here.
If I stumble upon in situation that is profitable and feels good great but I can't or don't want to make it my purpose for existing here.
I have same policy in rl too. I don't have a lot but I have everything I need and if its meant for me to have more then it will happen. I just refuse to stress over money or working any more be it in SL or RL.
Yet I understand some may not have this option.
I am just greatful at the time this is option for me.

Two jobs in sl...?

Hmmm, maybe that is the source of some of the stress. I am always amazed at the level of commitment that a lot of people give to their sl occupations.

Me? - I want to be a man of leisure.. so no jobs please.

Stress, not much from sl.. but the fact that I've created personal relationships here provides some stress... not unlike those of rl.

Keeping friends close and making sure that you don't hurt anyone can be a little stressful..

-d

I go out with my hubby at least once a week, been prolly a month since we went to the movies, just waiting for another good one hehe
water skiing, nope, hiking, too damn hot, best friend... hmm do not have one

my best friend or the person I considered my best friend, I have not seen in 10 years and have not spoken to her in about 7 years.

I do not use SL as a substitute for RL...

I guess I should have been a little more clear....
why do I let the people in SL stress me out?

SL it's self doesn't stress me, I love SL and the ability it gives me to create.

but for some god only knows reason, I let total strangers get under my skin, then I snap back, and that is not my nature

I then stress thinking I could have handled a situation better, be it a griefer, or a newb needing help, or just someone who is totally lost, or someone who doesn't know when enough is enough with im's.

I hate to alienate anyone, so try to be nice to everyone, and when I do snap and retaliate as a bitch, I feel bad, sometimes days or even weeks later I still feel bad

why do I let it get to me? after all it is total strangers, it should not matter what they think right?

Yeah sometimes I get stressed, by the people here and how they handle things, theives, biters, etc.

However, I don`t have high blood pressure, I was just at the DR recently and he said I have a nice reading.

There are natural things you can do to lower hypertension, may want to look into that.

I get stressed about SL sometimes. When commerce is borked, nothing will rez, building is impossible, the friends list won't load, you can't teleport, im's don't work, you're perma-ruthed, LL announces some dubious new features and some world-changing new policies, and on and on and on and on.... finaly I log off. Have a deep breath. Watch a movie. Open a bottle of wine.

In RL I am a programmer, I run a small business, and sit in front of a computer all day. To relax I come home, sit infront of a computer, do building and scripting, and run a virtual business. It's ironic, to say the least.

And yet...

I have seen a hackneyed phrase that sport fishermen use: A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. To paraphrase that -- a bad day in SL can still be more fun than a good day at work.

Or, to bring it back to the topic -- SL stress is real and I have felt it, but it's better than RL stress.

-Atashi

If I saw that in the local paper, I think that might stress me out a bit.

One way to reduce people induced stress might be to log in with an alt that no one knows and do as much of your work as possible without being disturbed.

Rha - I'm in a profession that is noted for its stress levels, and I used to let it get to me. You're going to kill yourself if you let that happen. At some point, I learned to step back and take a look at things from two perspectives. The first is to take things up a level. When people are giving you a hard time, or are doing something that is causing you grief and stress, stop what you are doing - you almost always have more time to make a decision about how to react than you think you do. Take a breath, be quiet, and think. You know what the situation is on your end. What is the situation on their end. People are pretty predictable. What is making them act like they are acting towards you? Look carefully at how the conversation or transaction with them has gone from their perspective as well as yours. Most of the time you will realize it's not you at all. That relieves some of the stress right there. It also lets you address their issues better and gets them out of your hair faster and happier. If you need to take it up another level, do that - look at what they think your situation is based on what you think their situation is. If you look at their perspective and come to the realization that you did your best and you can't help them, then relax and move on. Some people are just assholes.

The next thing to do is to give up on being results oriented. This is going to sound weird, but a lot of the stress we have is caused by our desire to get certain results. We worry so much about it that it causes us to make mistakes and get stressed out. Don't worry about the results. Just do your best to make good decisions and the results will happen of their own accord. That's really tough to do, especially in our society where we want instant results and we oush ourselves so hard to get them. Just relax. You know what you want to achieve, so stop worrying about it and think about making each decision. Pretty soon you will realize that you have gotten the results you want without worrying about getting them.

Last thing - break up your routine in SL. Go exploring. Ski or mountain bike at the Weather Channel Sim. Hang out at the hangout, or go dancing. Visit the museum sim (the name of which escapes me at the moment...dang. Exact replica of one of the major museums of Europe). Get a plane and fly around, or visit churches - there are some good ones. Type random words into search and go where they take you (this is more fun than you think, but I learned not to type in "horse" - man was that an eye opener!). Come to think of it, do that last one when there are no kids around and you have a few drinks in you. All that stuff to do! It forces you to concentrate on something other than what is stressing you out.

Don't let miscommunication get under your skin. Let it go. Look at the intent and be less indignant about whatever it is, and move on. What you may perceive as a flame isn't necessarily so.

This is actually really, really good advice. I have had a few times where I get really hung up on something in SL, where I let myself get too stressed. I have to really step back and remind myself that this is supposed to be leisure time, entertainment, relaxation. More than once I have chided myself for getting caught-up in my small virtual business, to the extent that I've lost sight of the fun which led me to build and script in the first place.

Now, maybe it's time to try looking up 'horse' in search..

-Atashi

Seems to me there are two types of people who log into SL, firstly those who use it as a form of recreation, watching TV, listening to music, surfing the net. For those people SL offers a relief from the stresses of work and life in RL. Secondly there are those who use it as a form of income. That income supports or forms their main source of income in RL. For this group there is probably little recreational value to be had from logging into SL. Like any sales job in RL there will be stresses associated with their activities in SL (whatever that may be); sales = income.

My advice (for what it's worth) would be to take a break in just the same way you take a break from RL work. It's so easy to log in every day and before you know it you're effectively working every day. How would you feel if you went in to work in RL every day..stressed and knackered. Log into SL every day - particularly if you use SL as a form of income, and you're going to end up..stressed and knackered.

Take break..watch TV..go jogging..get pissed..whatever..just don't log in!!

Perre

(Perre Anatine is not a professional physicologist, also please note his advice is usually more effective when accompanied by liberal doses of alcahol (note however alcahol does increase blood pressure...but it is more fun than stress - at least untill the following morning))

Hey Rha!

I can see where you're coming from, as SL is my RL income, which comes with it's own set of stresses since bills need to be paid and I do like to eat occasionally

I have a heart condition which means stress can be physically harmful and keep me from working for several days...and no work means no income...and there's that eating thing that keeps popping up

Now I'm very hard on myself in that I set deadlines and give myself major goals...I actually enjoy working in this manner as it keeps me focused.

What I did a while back (even before SL) is break things into 2 categories: things I can control, and things I cannot control.

I cannot control a rude or demanding customer, but I can control how I react to them. I can treat them with respect and offer a solution which meets their needs....but I cannot stop them from being rude or demanding.

I can make things I enjoy creating, but I cannot make people purchase these items to ensure the whole eating and paying bills thing.

Perhaps it's all perspective. If you reach a point where you feel yourself getting stressed, then have a list of things that you'd like to do and do one of those things.

Personally I haven't been to the Weather Channel sim...and I don't ski in RL....so that is now at the top of my list (thanks Trout!!!).

Best,
~Ari