does SL stress you out?

thank you all for the words of advice, trout I actually read your entire post hehe

and yes a lot of it hits home, just hard to not log in, but so far I have not logged in at all today... itching to now to just plain have fun.

ari your post hits home the most, the comments about the 2 categories...
things I can control and things I can not...

I need to adapt that into my real life so badly but it is so hard to not worry about things

thank you for helping me to put things into perspective...

nope

the ppl on the other hand....

yes.

Definitely is good advice, and thats happened to be a handful of times.

I almost deleted my whole island 4 times in the past due to beating myself up over things, such as not being happy with the way it looks, or the products I have out. And sometimes regarding the people here, they tick me off so much, but I think the reason I get ticked off is because its over the computer, and I feel I can not voice my concerns and issues well enough, and they think because its a computer they can ignore you and such. So to me, thats increddibly frusturating knowing it would never go down like that face to face.

Infact, 2 nights ago, I guess i have anger problems, I wanted to take a bat to the wall because of an individual. It was over like $10USD, but still. It pissed me off more than anything has ever pissed me off in SL. I was ready to fight! Sliiiiiiit, from eat to ear.

Try attending some inworld meditation perhaps, plenty showing up on search lately, Mystic Academy's Jane Atkey does wonderful meditation MP3's

Nope! Doesnt stress me out at all.

While it would be "neat" to say "I make a RL income from SL", having seen the bubble burst of 2000 when many web companies collapsed, I've learned that Online Internet Income is unstable and a gamble at best.

#1 Advice: Dont quit your day job for SL.

OMG Jessieaitui I can so relate to you on that. Here I am on a Bi-pap 24/7 and 10 litters of 02 so I can breath and have various serious health issues and know I shouldnt let things get me upset but its not the amount of money thats the issue. An example is malls disapeer with your rent money, sure its only a few $$ but its the point that they did it.

Or have some guy walk up to you and say I want to %#@& you with nothing on but thier attachment. At times like that I would love to have a real good kicking gesture and not get "ARed" for doign it! There is so many grefiers and then add all the problems and bugs we deal with in the game it just adds to the stress.

I had a noob tell me that because her legs showed when she walked that my design wasnt of quality and what could I do to help her. I explained how we all deal with SL skirts sometimes show legs when you walk (older mid-calf design) so either you modify the skirt in which case your back side will look huge or reduse your thighs. She told me that I didnt give good customer service and I was rude and would tell everyone never to come to my store again. At that point I sent her back her 250L and was through with her.

I know my health has gotten alot worse this past year then ever before but I also believe that the stress keeps me "going".... keeps the blood flowing. But truthfully everyone should take a break at least once a month for a few days from SL because you dont want your health making you take the break like mine has been doing latelyI love SL and really miss being there like I used to but my body says no.

*hug Zazas* take it easy... please.

Thanks Cristalle I really do my best to try to and if all else fails I just log out for a few days. But I do need some mental stimulation too so I just try to even it out.

Well Rha...it's a decision one has to make, especially when it's your health. I certainly hope you feel better and don't let SL and the jerks get to you. IM me any time I'm a good listener if you need to vent.



Dang Jesse...are you the brother I never knew I had?

I use to get that way, then went into kick boxing and martial arts along with some meditation, and it helped me a lot when I would get ticked off at someone and wanted to bash their head in. A couple of hours of kick boxing and I always felt better

Now...it's rare to get me upset. I figure idiots will be idiots regardless of what I do...so just get them out of my life as soon as possible! But I can relate to things always looking like I could have done better (I think I'm on my 8th "rebuild" on my store and island..this time will be different! HA!)

Zazas..take care of yourself! That customer doesn't deserve to wear your designs.

Best,
~Ari

Go do some RL stuff.

Buy yourself some mangoes or something nice.

Come sit in the grotto on my beach, sweetie ...

***
@ being propositioned by men wearing nothing but a wooden spoon, when is someone going to make the 'point and vomit' animation/gesture? Please? I'd personally like a point and laugh one ...

That happens all the time, finding it amusing is a lot less hassle.

I don't find SL stressful any more. Are you surrounded by people who are making you feel bad? There's a solution to that one, even if you don't really want to do it then removing such people from your life makes you feel much better in the long run.

Seems to me that it isn't a matter of whether
SL stresses one out, but rather, does Life in
general stress one out.

In other words, if one has a good program
to manage stress, it should logically work in
SL or RL.

- Infrared

No mangoes! You can be eaten by a tiger if you go looking for mangoes. The Horror, The Horror! ....Never get out of the boat.

For me, SL is a pressure valve, entertainment, a way to make new friends, learn and explore. So the opposite of stress.

Love.

Boat? Helicopter run out of avgas Bren?

Addicted yes, stressed no. I guess never having moved from the bottom of the food chain, i.e. just a lowly non-building, non-designing customer and chatterbox I can keep my kiddie in the toy shop attitude. I therefore only put in my time for purely entertainment or socialising reasons - it'll never be a business.

But even at the social level issues can arise. Thankfully few but I'm sure many don't realise they are exploring themselves as well as the virtual landscape.
Always being able to take that step back is of paramount importance. The aspect of hiding behind the anonymity is a thin veil. Whilst RL facts and figures may appear safe, the emotions and their effects are not.

Fiancee and I have had many deep conversations on this. Too easy to get sucked in deep. The RL reservations of doubt, shyness, self consciousness .. the play money even .. you change when you login .. the avatar is very symbolic of this but few realise.

Hugs to all here who are suffering x

You have said in two lines what took me three paragraphs Love!
I bet you could put my biography on a postage stamp!

Yes, of course. When it gets like that, you need to log off and not log in again until those kinds of things aren't mattering much any longer -- maybe a day, maybe a week. While SL can certainly have a deep impression on your in RL in terms of emotions and feelings and these are "real", you absolutely have to maintain your perspective that at the end of the day it is *not* RL, it is SL, and if your SL is having a negative impact on you in RL, it needs to go ... for a while at least, until you can regain that sense of perspective as balance.

Come to my shop, little hobbit with your big fat wallet......NOW!

Back to the OP.... Rha, I have high BP too = plenty of fun with the visual side effects of it too hehe... though I doubt my arteries would agree

My BP issues were caused by a significant RL rather than SL event and of course my RL age doesn't help there. But if you want to natter to a fellow sufferer, I'm a good listener.

As far as SL goes... actually if anything I get more wigged out when reading some of the more thought/witless forum posts. Which is not to say I don't care about the people I meet in SL - I do, very much.

Inc

Obscure movie reference Bilbo, although there are places where only a boat will get you in.
For the most part SL is my stress relief but occasionally I can get wrapped up in it. When that happens, I log off, go watch a movie, take a walk, wash my car, whatever.
*Joins Bilbo at the bottom of the chain. Wanna go shopping? I'll drive.*

you just want licking

For me when i start to get stressed i hit the search tab and go looking for lost island/forests and just wander around. So many peaceful things out here to find. I turn off the "music" to most places and just listen to the crickets/frogs/bee's. I have found so many wonderful places to just go and "veg" out rather than log out and watch t.v. I can still IM with friends while in search of my "alone" place. When im ready to get back into the action then its just a tp away. As for the noob's with body attachements stuck out.. my response is normally oh look another penis and its not a good one either. Then do the LOL at them. They will figure it out eventually "or hope they do". Don't let SL stress you out. Go jet skiing or just sit and watch the sun set over and over lol. It will all be there waiting for you to get back to it.

Regards and good luck
Fly safe and land on your feet.

Blues

It's natural to get irritated with irritating people. Your problem, I think, is that you're expecting too much of yourself. We all do things that we wish we hadn't, and feel bad about them. But it's the going back over and over it, for "days or weeks" that's the real problem, Rhaorth.

What's done is done. You can't go back and change what happened, or what you said or did. That's over. Let it go, sweetie. Learn from it, yes...resolve to do better next time, yes. But don't fret over what you can't change.

Look, I want you to try something. The next time you find yourself in one of these mental "beating yourself up" loops, do this: Imagine yourself meeting the person you were rude to. See them there, and yourself too, as clearly as you can. They're angry and upset, right? Imagine yourself taking their hand, or giving them a hug, and say to them "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that to you. Please forgive me?" Imagine them hugging you back and saying, "yes, of course I forgive you. I know you didn't mean to snap like that. It was my fault, really, for being so irritating in the first place."

Or here's another exercise, if you prefer more abstract imagery: Sit somewhere quiet, and listen to your favorite soothing music. Close your eyes. Now remember the incident that's troubling you. Imagine the music you're hearing surrounding this bad event like a silver cloud. Imagine the cloud pressing in all around the badness, shrinking it into a little ugly black and red ball. As the music continues, imagine it dissolving the ball, making it smaller and smaller and smaller, until finally it vanishes and all that's left is the pure, soothing music. When the music ends, get up and go do something completely different -- this incident is now over, and it's time to turn to something else.

I take no notice of whatever is said to me in this game - except when my partner tells me I am funny and beautiful and a good friend. All the rest is just spit in the wind.

I sometimes imagine living in a small village, fairly remote and independent of the rest of the world. We would mostly live there from birth to death, all know each other well and have very similar values and customs. We would all work together to sustain and enrich our lives. And the challenges faced and contributions made by each would be appreciated by all the others.
We would all love and understand each other.
We would have enough natural resources and a pleasant enough environment to be able to make a happy and satisfying life for everyone. And enough contact with the outside world to make life interesting but not to stress us out...

In reality life is stressful and a lot of it seems to have to do with the need to get along with other people whose points of view are just different enough to make it difficult.

The other avatars in SL represent other RL people so the stress is pretty much the same as it is in RL. We all want to communicate well and feel frustrated when there is misunderstanding.

And it seems to be human nature to be tempted to become aggressive when frustrated. And no doubt people with the urge to act aggressively find it even easier to be confrontational through an avatar than they would when face to face with another real human. Some people seem to come into SL just for the chance to get away with behaving in ways they wouldn't dare in RL.

When confronted with someone who is refusing to get along with you nicely it might help to just accept that due to some cause over which you, and perhaps they, have no control they are just not capable of behaving reasonably. And are not your problem. They might even be a very young child.

Anyway your uncomfortable feelings are very understandable and understandably difficult to overcome. You have my best wishes and hopes that they pass soon and you are able to enjoy your SL again.

I hate that feeling of wishing I had behaved differently in a situation that is now past and too late to change. So when it happens I force myself to think about why I acted the way I did and to think intensely about how I will act next time in a similar situation.
I find it helps me to forgive myself if I am determined to do better in the future. Then I feel better and things usually really do go better next time.