Is it just me..

I have been in SL for almost 3 years and I've had one partner that lasted over a year. We were going to get married but the relationship ended suddenly. I've tried to meet guys but I seem to have a hard time. My friend came back to the game after 6 months and 5 days later she had a new partner! My other friends seem to meet and connect with guys all the time. Maybe it's just me but I'm not a fan of sex pose balls or cuddling. I just find it weird...lol. Do you think this could be the reason I have trouble connecting with anyone? I can't be the only one who isn't into pixel sex right? I love to shop, explore and go to live shows and would love to have some company.

I don't think SL is necessarily the right environment for seriously looking for an online relationship. I really do think that, though there are some excellent guys here, the majority are here for the pixel sex. That said, do not despair - continue visiting places that you like, do the activities you like, and eventually you'll meet people with the same interests and desires in SL.

Also come to the Forum Hangout in world and join "The Forum Cartel" group inworld -- we have some of the nicest guys around.

The simple truth is that most every guy in both SL and RL will eventually want to do "the deed" and will grow disillusioned with you if you don't show any interest.

Is this a surprise to you?

If you're not into the pixel thing, why not just look for friends to hang out with, rather than people you want to marry? I can't really tell from your post what gender you want to meet up with, but not everything has to turn into a big romance.
"shop, explore and go to live shows" requires no big relationship or emotional involvement. Just find someone who is also looking for something to do and go do it.

... and these are *guys* you want to meet?

Sorry. Slightly more seriously: What exactly is it about maleness that you want from this platonic companion? I don't mean that to be snarky, I just think that, if it's a prerequisite that the companion be male (and heterosexual?), it may help to focus on what his essential features must be, to sort of target your search.

I suppose the same is true whether or not the companion needs to be a guy. But a gal lookin' for a guy who is not lookin' for sex... yeah, not all guys are lookin' for sex, but... I mean, it's one way to break the ice.

Being up front with your desire to keep things platonic is a good idea... though it will cut down on the number of men who want to hang around with you.

Sorry. We're just that shallow.

BTW - this should not be thought of as a good thing. Pretty much anything that happens that fast will crash and burn really hard.

Definitely this -- I can handle a lot of situations in SL as long as I am told the truth. If I am not worth the truth, then I really am not worth much at all in the person's eyes.


Be shallow all you want as long as you are honest about it.

It sounds like you should be looking in male gay clubs with those requirements.

Pep (You might even get a BOGOF deal. )

Oh, how cynical!

I have a ton of guy friends who are very aware that I am not "looking." It does probably limit the amount of time that we spend together, but so long as you are not looking for a really clingy or exclusive relationship, and know where to look (sex and dance clubs are probably not the best places, for instance), you CAN find guys who want to become close friends in a platonic sort of way.

There really ARE guys who are like this. I'd name some names, but that would be against forum rules. And besides, I'm not sharing!

my suggestion would be to visit places where romance isnt the main attraction...maybe some of the educational sims, christian sims, etc. you could also find some discussion groups that are meeting in events and hang out for the discussions that interest you. that would give you an immediate topic in common and some interactions with new friends.

Becoming completely non-human (that is, not even furry or neko) eliminates sexual tensions and is a great way to be accepted for the personality behind the avatar -- even for the most extreme introverted personalities. You just seem to meet a lot more people as a non-human.

Or so I've heard . . .

This.

I will definitely look into joining that group thanks



Yes it is a suprise to me, I had a partner for over a year and there was no pixel sex.


I'm not looking for some big romance just someone to spend some time with. All my friends have partners and it's a little lonely being the third or fifth wheel at times. Yeah, I know I shouldn't complain..lol I'm not asking for much, maybe a dance partner and someone who shares my love for music. I'm not looking for a real life relationship or a sugar daddy. I have my own money and my own land.

Thanks for your replies all

You said the magic words, "...very aware that I am not "looking."

As I said previously, if you are honest about what you want in a relationship then you'll have fewer issues regarding "expectations". The OP was about to marry her friend. If she didn't want to bump pixels, then marriage is probably not the best direction to take the relationship.

Well actually we had been married once already over a year ago. But we both have taken time off of SL here and there due to RL issues and we were planning to remarry. RL has come between us again so that is why we are not getting married again. It had nothing to do with sex, don't know why you don't believe me..lol

Hmm, yes. I take your point.

But my central thesis still stands: there ARE men who are looking just for very good friends.

I like to make really close friends with cool people but I can't imagine investing most of my SL time with someone who wasn't gonna... ahem... blow my mind... on a pretty regular schedule ))))

So you do admit that that is where your brains are.

I prefer to think of it as guys having more focus.

Jeeze.

No one is saying a relationship has to be sexual, but for FFS if someone loves you or really cares about you in that way, they would at least want to cuddle with you.

Just look for a friend because that is all you want.

4 Words: Find a female friend.

Evangeline,
First, do NOT compromise.
Finding the right person who fits with what you are looking for is going to be hard. But on the plus side, you know what you are looking for. This puts you miles ahead of most.

Have you thought about using an in world match making service?

It sounds to me as if you are looking more for friend than love interest. Start there and move along and dont worry. If you really want a love interest there are a few dating services and no not sex, these people are like you and want to bond with someone.