SL or RL? If you could choose?

I have a good real life, don't get me wrong... I am currently rebuilding a life, from a time when my RL wasn't so good, and I am proud of that, and it's interesting... I have two good kids, still on good terms with my ex, I do a job I care about, and I have enough money to give me the small things in life that I take great pleasure in, and many of the things I take pleasure in don't cost money.. like sunshine, smiles, and my first cup of coffee in the morning.

What I am asking is....

If the monitor became suddenly like Alice's Looking glass... and you could step through it into the world of SL... would you? For a day? a month? a year? forever?

Lets take it as read that you could take those you love with you, since that is one of the main things that would stop me...

The reason for my question is that recently I saw someone describe their RL.... which seemed pretty rich and full, and I wondered what drew them to the SL life when they had so much.... what made them work hard for that RL and yet still come to SL and work damn hard here too? My guess is, that they come for the people, and the creativity, more than anything more tangible... but what do you come for, that your real life doesn't give you? W

Would you swap your RL for your SL if you could?

interested to know..


Imogen

Well, that's just the thing, innit? SL isn't a separate world, any more than the telephone system is or television is. SL is a fun thing to play with within the context of your "real" life - which is why anyone can enjoy it weather their life is rich and full and happy or otherwise.

So, I guess my answer is, I'd stick with "real life", where SL can improve the quality of my life like good movies, TV and books do. =^_^=

Good answer Gillian...

There was a time when i would have said goodbye to my RL in a minute, and stepped into SL... I felt so much better in SL, more powerful, more beautiful, more in control... I guess its a measure of how much I have come back to the light, when I realise that I agree with you now!

/me smiles

Still interested to know about others' views though...

imogen

No. I don't want my rl friends and family to be part of my Sl. And like Jillian said

It's an intriguing question. Many would say SL is not an alternative to RL but an addition, an augmentation. The 'choice' as such is purely what would you spend the time on/in.

However, I also went through a patch where SL was my escape from things that were getting me down. Stepping through that monitor I became my own boss, not tied by others constraints. Logging in an alt became even more detached from my original identity, a chance to investigate things that never even occured to the everyday me.

I love my time in SL. There aren't enough hours in the day to satisfy me. Would I step through and never come back? It scares me that I don't come out with a resounding no.

I would never step completely through the looking glass, because relationships in my RL (e.g., children) do not exist in SL and I would never want to leave those behind.

I view SL as a separate but parallel universe for me. I exist in both realms, and am fully me in both places, but I also respect the boundary between my RL and my SL. I do not bleed them into one another beyond a high water mark of email. Obviously, my feelings for people in SL bleed into RL because I am one person, not two, but I do not *act* on those feelings in RL, or wish to bring those relationships into RL, again beyond what happens inside myself and the high water mark of email.

So I see no reason to leave my RL for SL or vice versa. Both modes are wonderful for me in very different ways, and each helps me meet different needs inside myself. I love them both.

When I was established in Cybertown, it was easy to say I'd swap. I had several profiles: one for an art gallery, one with interiors designed like a starship (my sickbay rocked with animated animals and aliens on biobeds), one place selling my 3D creations, an awesome beach house, and an Asian style getaway.

But the key thing is I had those homes. Places to mentally chill. Beds even if I couldn't sleep in them, looking as inviting as the underwater dining area of the beach house. A tropical treehouse with a scarlet macaw perched at the platform. I was well off there.

In Second Life it's not quite the same. I don't have a house for living in. Not yet anyway. And one place I don't feel comfortable with and keep looking and wondering if another location would ever make me happy. I think even if I had a home home with space around it for mental stretching and things in it I want in a style I feel comfortable with, I could say "let's trade."

I peeked into one of those privacy cubes a few regions west of my parcel, and inside was this Kinkade setting I'd always wanted to live in. That would sway me for sure LOL.

SL provides a large degree of emotional enrichment for me, and currently I am using it as a vehicle to explore and expand my hidden aspects, some of which are quite private and would never see the light of day in RL.

My social activity in RL is virtually nil (for deliberate but personal reasons), so SL accounts for all my interest in that respect.

Which would I choose? The jury is still out on that one ...

I wasn't expecting much either way from SL most of time I am not very social, I don't have lot of friends I talk too, but I have over time acquired small group of friends. Most of time its just creative diversion from lot of rl stuff I can't at this time do much about at this point in my life.
I have one friend who says she has very good life, but is here a lot and enjoys social, creative aspects but she doesn't really have time for rl social life, perhaps she is loner, shy like I am who knows I am just guessing because I have known her since I joined and she just doesn't go into whole lot of details about her real life.
While another gets to explore things she wouldn't or can't in real life.

While another is disabled gets to experience things she can't in real life
Everyone is different I guess.
I guess I don't see SL or RL separate.
SL gives me opportunities I don't have in rl but sometimes SL can be lonely and boring as my
RL too especially when I am not creating stuff.

This was my initial reaction to the question.

Ditto

I'd step through into SL simply because there I can fly.

But if my RL family and friends didnt or couldnt step with me then its a no-contest. They win that one everytime.

I don't have rl family, very few friends...
In SL there are people who have become my family in ways I don't have in rl.

I'd probably step thru for a while.

In SL, I can fly unaided, fall without being hurt.

In SL, I dont have enormous student loans & other bills looming over my head.

In SL, every female is "hawt".

In SL, dragons, fairies, monsters, vampires, robots and furries exist.

In SL, I can dive to the deepest depths of the oceans & not drown.

Nope, I would not trade my RL for SL. I'm a happy little kitty (except human, heee) in RL. I have a good life although billions of people are way better off than me (I'm not rich, not supported by someone else, not travelling, nor leading a charmed existence).

BUT, I have a roof over my head, food when I need it, a satisfactory amount of money coming in, a number of hobbies (including SL), and a number of awesome friends.

Why do I need SL then if my RL is great?

It's a hobby, a fun thing to do, and no different than a book, a movie, a game etc. -- yet it's all hyped up on virtual steroids with many bonuses. But I think there's a lot in RL yet to explore and I'm not done here yet.

I can see the lure for the disabled, the unsatisfied with RL etc. And I think SL can be very positive for so many.

Thankfully, right now, I don't have to choose. But if I had to -- RL would win... at least until SL got rid of griefers, eliminated lag, and provided a more robust and functional interface

I don't know, I probably would have died in an ornithopter/bicycle/horse accident by now if SL were my RL. And I'd miss my RL doggie.

RL but I'd drag with me instant beach/forest tranquility, being able to bait in sex clubs (they get very annoyed and throw you out RL, trust me on this, if you point and laugh at strange shaped todgers), the ability to build and make furniture just like THAT <snaps fingers>. I'd take my hair collection and also my much more shapely figure (if only ... if only).

I'd take many of my SL friends into my reality (well mainly the girls - and I guess a certain Yam Yam who isn't reading this thread so I can call him a Yam Yam with impunity!).

But into SL? Interesting, Imogen, that you USED to feel like that. Is it the passage of time? Or is SL simply not a magical wonderland of possibility to you these days?

I know so many people, still, leaving SL. So in some ways, as those people become a part of my RL, maybe I am getting part of what I'd really like.

Where else can you rent a house for $1.00 a week. Stay in bed zoom down and fix your dinner and not have to wash the dishes. Pack more clothes and shoes in your closet than will fit. Exercise without huffing and puffing and never gain an ounce.

Grabs Bilbo's arm, I am in

i think it would be a nice place to visit but i don't think i would want it to be permanent..if there was choice all the time i would be back and forth like a ferret doing the happy dance heheheh

I always called it the war dance.
/me scratches the happy ferret under the chin

I don't necessarily get the feeling that I am in more control of my SL than RL.

I actually feel I have more impact on RL than SL. I understand how society works better in RL. I understand better how people think in RL. I know how the laws work in RL, and (as flawed as some are), I feel like RL laws treat me more fairly, and I know how I can change them.

SL can be a nice place to visit, but it would be a scary place to live. I have very little impact on SL. I'm powerless against a lot of people who would do me harm (griefing, ripping me off). I certainly have no impact whatsoever on the governance of SL (e.g., Linden Lab policy).

The one and only true piece of power I have in SL is the ability to log out.

The fact that I can use Second Life when I like it, and I can leave it when I don't like it, is the only thing that can make Second Life enjoyable for me. If I didn't have that ability to escape back to RL, then SL would be a miserable place for me.

And it's a great question for an American to answer on Independence Day in the United States. I choose RL simply because in RL, I have more true freedom than I do in SL.

As someone who absolutely HATES traveling by plane, the main reason I'd like to "live in SL" would be the fast and cheap travel. Two of the most important people in my real life are in SL now, and even though we now physically live thousands of miles from each other due to RL commitments, SL allows us to meet up instantly whenever we're online at the same time.

I have a very rich real life, in general, but we do not have many RL friends where we live now (and no family). I joined Second Life after one of my aforementioned friends here moved out of state, and SL is currently helping us stay connected.

Even though you can look however you want in Second Life and the shopping's incredibly cheap, it's really not all that different from real life in the areas that matter to me. Plus, for every cool thing about Second Life (you can fly!) there's an uncool thing to cancel it out (banlines), so at the end of the day, I'm happy with how things are.

Well, since you didn't put a qualifier on it that it had to be permanent, then I would definitely take a SL "vacation". I could still see my friends and loved ones in RL. I'd like to be able to fly. I wouldn't want to permanently leave my regular life behind, but a couple days here and there? Sure! Sign me up.

and you don't die when you crash, you merely learn a few new swear words.

What is this RL of which you speak?

Partly Cherry, its the fact that SL isn't quite so magical as it used to be... but partly these days its because I have my RL more together...

I did go into a really dark patch in RL... and actually, my desire to stay in SL (having to pay my way and pay to keep running it and my Internet connection) has been part of my recovery.

Thanks everyone for your very thoughtful and insightful answers so far... I am glad its not just me who has the question to face when the day comes the screen goes squishy and all wibble-wobble and you put your hand up... and it goes through the glass....

imogen