Difficulty Separting Rl From Sl; Advice?

Oh, and if you can, try to arrive at the appointment in an armed personnel carrier and take a very powerful handgun. You may feel the need to shoot him. This guy suddenly sounds like evil personified.

Agreed.

Anya, do it fast.

User CP, Edit Options

In retrospect, this is a very good idea if you can do it.

Agreed. If he's lying to you already about SL, why wouldn't he lie about RL? Stay away from this guy.

My advice. It is OK to mess around and have fun online...but when you start combining the two worlds...you're setting yourself up for disappointment and injury (emotional and/or physical).

If after dating someone online for a long time you feel it's time to meet...fine, just use your best judgment.

If after meeting them, you catch them in several lies or deceit....grab the nearest bus ticket, and run for your life.

Unbelievably, I agree with Michael.
Now I need to lie down, if I can just get this Zimmer frame close enough to the bed.

Even a broken watch is right twice a day.

Ah Chas...unbelievably, I thank you.

Anya, you mentioned he knows your travel dates and hotel.

Isn't there another hotel in town?

Or could you switch to another town, possibly another country?

Anya, hon, this guy sound like a wannabe 'playa'.

Of course he seems nice. He's expecting a 'booty call' from you.

Do NOT meet this guy. Change your travel plans so he can't surprise you.

Because, if you meet him (even in a very public place), here is how it plays out:

He turns on the charm. He says every version of "See baby, you're the one for me. That other chick means nothing". And...he keeps changing the subject back to the intimate moments you and he shared in SL, and hints that since you are there now in person...

If that doesn't work, his hints will get stronger. Until you feel real pressure. And the whole time, he will keep that charm working.

Hon...he's trying to play you. I'd lay dollars to doughnuts that he is just wanting from you in RL what he's had in SL. All the signs are there (from what you have said)

I don't think that this guy would actually physically hurt you or harm you if you met in RL. I doubt that you'd need a different hotel. I DO agree with whoever said "have the hotel staff take phone messages." And I DO think that you should never give out your room number to any stranger. Please don't do that. Talk to the hotel staff and tell them that you might have a visitor; ask them to please not give out your room number, but to call you and let you know that you have a visitor in the lobby. Just so you understand; this is common sense for ANYONE in ANY hotel. If he knows your room number, change rooms.

If you do meet him, make sure it's in a VERY public place, like a busy restaurant or something.

I still wouldn't date him; like you said, he's already lying to you now! Who needs that in RL, let alone SL?

Sorry Oryx, but while I agree you're probably right, that's no reason to take a chance. No matter how (im)probable you think it might be.

You need to stop sending mixed messages. You say this is strictly SL, but you gave him your phone number. You also are leading him to believe you will meet him during your holiday. Stop it. Tell him you are very sorry for misleading him, but that you will only persue an online relationship and NOT carry this over into RL. Tell him it may have been a mistake to start calling, that this wouldn't go anywhere since you are so far away--anything you need to say.

If you don't want a RL relationship, then don't have RL interactions. And previous posts were quite correct in saying that you are not avatars you are people connecting through an online social network.

It's okay to have an online relationship. I've been in one for nearly a year. But it's just that. We never talk about RL meet-ups. People ask us sometimes if we plan to do that and we simply say no--we are not interested in a RL relationship.

It might be stressful to think about having this conversation, but you need to do it and you will feel a lot better after it's done.

Totally agree here, sure the guy is probably harmless, but not worth the risk either. The contact with him needs to stop. Anything that would happen past this point on won't be able to be taken back.

End the relationship.

Can you not see that he is a manipulative man? That it is not just SL, but RL too? Do not waste time with people like this. They are vampires that prey on your energy and faith in people. All it will do is make you put up more walls toward people.

There are plenty of other wonderful men in this game that will KEEP it in the game, and will be honest with you. Do not get hung up on this one.

Ok Cristalle...I give....WHERE ARE THEY?!

I dunno but I got one

Mute him, ignore him in SL.

Go on your trip but go on the original trip you planned, don't bother meeting him IRL.

If he cant even manage to fake being faithful in SL theres no way any sort of relationship would ever have worked for you two.

Just forget him and chalk it up to lessons learned.


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Ohhhh and if you are feeling vengeful ...

Telling him you are going to meet him at X place at Y time, with no intentions of ever showing, standing him up so he sits around and looks like an idiot -

Would be acceptable under Murphy's appendix on dating.

CLUE:

"Don't worry about my talking to XXX, honey, it's only an avatar."

So... what were you, when you first met?

Uh-huh.

Anya, you say he told you things would be different IRL once you'd meet and SL and the time he spends with the other girl doesnt have anything to do with RL. But like you said, didn't your relationship start in SL as well? And, if he'd really love you, wouldn't he want to spend all time available to him with you, or at least not with another woman?
I know it hurts and the feelings you have for this guy are real, but you already know what you should do, don't you?

*hugs* Asriazh

"They are vampires that prey on your energy and faith in people."


Oh yeah....

The ones that "seem like nice guys" are often harder to deal with. The obvious jerks one just dismisses and continues. I really wish, as was mentioned in another thread, that SL had a BS detector. Actually that would come in handy RL as well.



Whether he's a wonderful person or a complete loon, the fact that he is making you sad is enough to end the relationship. (As hard as I know that can be *sighs* I've been there)



Totally agree! Once someone lies to me, I can never trust them again.



*Smiles softly* Please don't feel stupid. As another poster said, SL is NOT a "do what you want and hurt anyone in the process because, after all, this is just a game, right?" WRONG!!! Maybe some people have the capacity to hurt others with no regrets...or to not feel any hurt...but I think, and from a professional perspective...THOSE are the people with the problems, not the people who are being their authentic selves here.

Taking your post at face value, you sound like you were being yourself and trusting. Whether this guy is a true jerk, or just a "lonely man" who enjoys the attention of more than one woman...the fact remains he was not up front with you *until* you caught him.

Personally, I would end the relationship now to protect yourself from potential further emotional hurt...and not see him RL. He has not earned that right.

Love this idea!!!!