Difficulty Separting Rl From Sl; Advice?

Okay so I think i screwed up majorly here.

Run. Run far and fast from him.

Meet him, but stick to public places?

I think you really know what you should do here Anya.....Get rid of him. By the sounds of it, you have invested a great deal of your emotions into this man, and in classic masculine form, he's already grazing the greener pastures. Regardless of what excuse he makes for conversing with another avatar, once the communication reaches beyond the boundaries of SL, via facebook, IM, whatever, it's more than "just SL".

Either way, don't talk to him, don't meet him, just be done with him, you'll be better off in the long run.

Are you skilled in the arts of self defense? Definitely keep it to public places, and be damned careful. That's if you don't get out of that mess... which I strongly suggest you do...

...but if you are going to go through with meeting the guy, make sure you have given his RL information to close friends/relatives and let him know other people in RL know about him and who he is.

Agreed. Anya, you're not the first to experience feelings like this -- none of us expected to develop deep emotional relationships in SL.

You have not crossed a line. But now is the time to be very careful; otherwise, you might cross one and regret it very much.

One often reads the advice to newbies to remember that there is a live person representing the avatar you see and interact with on SL. Therefore, one shouldn't mistreat another. If he has, as an avatar, mistreated you as an avatar, is there sound reasoning that he wouldn't bring the same dynamics to a RL interaction?

He's probably telling her the same thing.

Run far away.

Do NOT meet this man in RL.

SL is a medium, not a different world.

Everything you've told us about this fellow screams "do not meet him face to face". Just don't do it, public place or not.

Go find some new freinds instead.

Same here.

Good lord people, you make this guy sound like Jack the Ripper. For all we know he might be a jolly nice chap. Anya certainly thought so and possibly still thinks so.

This might not be the big romance he is hoping for, but I'm not sure Anya will need to learn Kung Fu before the meeting. As others have said, keep your first meeings to public places and see what you think, or feel.

Just make your feelings known to him before you go and enjoy your trip.

No, he's probably not a mass murderer, but let's face it, the guy is obviously juggling more than he can handle by conversing with more than one woman outside of SL. Judging from the OP's creation date, not much time has passed, and seems so sudden to make that kind of a jump into an RL situation. Sure their time together might have been special, and we've all been there a time or two when things moved alot faster than orginally anticipated, and found ourselves just swept up in the moment.

However, the bottom line here, is that this guy is playing more than one gal, if they were to meet, there would be only one thing on his mind, and realistically, there is no benefit to Anya for meeting him face to face.

Don't do it Anya

I'm not sure a safe person is enough of a precaution, simply because this meeting will be in a foreign country. But certainly, if you do meet him, follow these suggestions. But really, I'd avoid it if I were you. He could follow you after the meeting, find out where you're staying... who knows?

Of course that's a worst case scenario. Damning the guy simply based on his past behaviour, and all that. But better safe than sorry.

I have good experience of an online relationship ...after all ive been married to the woman I met for 10 years.... the thing that i find most amazing is ANYBODY who says that they are AVATARS!!!!

bollox ...... An avatar is a representation of YOU ... not a replacement of YOU, or a guilt free do what you like ticket. Obviously the OP has gotten emotionally envolved because she is a REAL PERSON and not an AI just like all of us. Obviously this chap has different views and I know I keep my dick in my pants in SL because I know that emotional values apply even if the physical does not. Theres been many posts here before .... some folks have different beliefs to me and I respect that... I know I couldnt look my RL/SL Wife in the face knowing that i had just cybered/prim shagged a person in SL .... or that I had fallen even partly for another in the virtual world. Again I respect that some peopleare able to essentially cheat and yes I know thats a harsh word ...hmmmmmm how about "emotional affair".... because allthough this guy may or maynot be Dr Crippen he is having an emotional affair with 2 people and to be honest is proberly married/GF in real life anyway.

If you are in a possition to get into a relationship theres no gaurantee that the person on the other end is ...or in deed wants to or for that matter ethicly able.

I would only suggest that you certainly dont go and meet this gentleman as his motives are slightly out of tilt and its clear that allthough we do not know him and he MAY be decent in many ways he certainly doesnt deserve a RL meetup as he certainly has commitment issues and I have seen on many occasions the mistress who becomes the girlfriend often becomes the cheated.

Good luck and be carefull

Marty

Agree with don't even bother - nice guy or murderer - who cares? He screwing with your head - no doubt - trust me. Plenty that do it just for the jolly fun of it - but get a couple of nice burns around the edges and you will be just fine.

Peace

wow guys;

Oh girl...trust me - don't go any further - stop now. It only gets worse. There are nice, true intentioned folk too - if he is in need of getting it together, than he can find a shrink - you don't need to suffer his - you will find enough of your own.

In- fact- I see u r on line here in the forum - im me or turn yours on.

Anya, IM me in world. We should start a group for people who have been in this situation. It is teh suck, that is for sure.

Don't worry guys- you get over it... just hard getting from a to b

Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

how do i turn on im here?

From experience I can tell you he will not be what you expect. If you have to meet him to put him out of your mind, do not meet him alone. Have someone with you. Do not meet him in private - do it in public. And stop telling him real personal information. Though you may think he's a nice guy, he can be a very good actor/manipulator. A lot of very bad men are....and yes...if you meet him..tell the world where you will be and give someone HIS personal info in case something happens. Sorry to be so harsh but it happens...

Book a new hotel yesterday. And don't tell him which one this time.

Again, stay away from him. Do NOT meet this man. You don't mean enough to him to be his primary SL girlfriend but he wants a RL hook up with you...in a different country...where you don't speak the language...where you don't necessarily understand how the system works. Your falling for him wasn't stupid. Meeting up with him in RL would be.

IM him and tell him not to contact you during your visit. Have you exchanged photos? If not, have a great time and don't speak to any strange men in the lobby of your hotel. Just walk through the lobby like you don't have a care and aren't looking for anyone. Tell the hotel staff that you prefer that local calls not be directed to your room, that they should take a message for you. Odds are that when you tell him to stay away from you in RL he will.