If You're Not Wanted Then Leave.

Last night I hosted a bachelorettes party on my land. I wasn't there of course since it was only for females. But I had someone in charge of the place with powers to do anything they needed on the land. A guest list was made this way the land could remain closed to just the people invited but a lot more people showed up. They were friends of the invitees and it got very hectic adding each person to the access list. So I told the person in charge to just open the land making it much easier for her.


Party turned out better then expected as the place got jammed with people all having a great time. But since now the land was open they had a few strangers come in. They were told it was a private function and they left. But one guy who had come in and sat down wouldn't budge after being asked to leave. After being informed of this I instructed the person in charge to eject and ban this other person which she did. Afterwards he began IM'ing her badmouthing her for having ejected him.

Why is it so hard for some of these people who go around intruding to leave a place after being asked to do so? I mean, if you see you're not wanted there why continue to stay?
Then they say people are being mean or rude or more for taking these indiviuals out of places. Or that they're being overly protective of their land. In this instance this guy had to see the banner which read what type of party it was as these parties are just for females unless its for a male then it's all males not counting strippers of course. Then again no one needs an excuse to take anyone out of their property.

There are many people lacking in basic tact and consideration. They walk around wondering why people hate them. It's a bit of a sad situation for them. There really isn't much you can do but ban, mute, and forget about them.

Some people are just obtuse. Others are simply looking to provoke drama. Following up with mute immediately after eject and ban forestalls the former from asking stupid questions and the latter from getting the drama they are seeking.

Many feel like since Second Life is a social game you have some sort of obligation to Socialize with *THEM* specifically.

This can range from annoying (expecting you to engage in small talk with them)

To objectionable (expecting you to show them around and invite them to your group)

To outright insulting (expecting you to engage in cyber-sex with them)

I suspect a good bit of bad behavior stems from some SL users being drunk as skunks, maybe been snorting something, or at least had four or five cups of coffee too many, after spending too many hours in a row in a room by themselves on the computer.

I have a support group that I attend regularly. It's a large group of us sitting around a hut. Not very exciting looking. I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who see a bunch of green dots, come strolling in and say "Hey! What's going on?"

I'd have to agree with Suezanne, I think some people are under the influence of something. Maybe they are sneaking over from the teen grid. I'd hate to think there's this many ignorant adults or I'd just lose faith in humanity.

Have some bad news for you ...

Some people do not have the same level of emotional attachment and do not view the environment as a parallel to real life.

So?

What does attachment have to do with manners?

This happens in RL, also. You can be as polite as can be turning down a request, (a drink, a dance, conversation, a favour, etc) and some will have the audacity to call YOU rude or worse, a b**ch. You have to wonder if they're asking or demanding... Their sense of entitlement is bewildering. Unfortunately, there's no way to mute in RL.

Why in the world would they enjoy being where they're obviously not wanted? Losers exist in both SL and RL.

It means that they don't CARE about others in a virtual environment, because they aren't immediate or 'real' to them. Frankly, some people need a bigger clue stick to be beaten with.

People who can't conceptualize that the other avatars in Second Life are controlled by other human beings need to play less video games.

Since it obviously has begun to corrode their ability to value other people.

Its much like the concerns that movies and video games are so violent they desensitize some people towards actual violence.

Actually, I suspect many folks have been in-world for months before they see a gathering of more than a half-dozen avatars that doesn't somehow involve camping or sale of primbits. I can kinda see the novelty appeal of a cluster of green dots on the map, seemingly not engaged in either of those activities.

People who can't conceptualize the difference in interaction between avatars in Second Life, and people in Real Life, need to play less video games.

Since it obviously has begun to corrode their ability to separate fiction from reality.

But are you saying that the OP or other individuals may now be more desensitized to a person just walking into their house and sitting down? Or the sitter would be more inclined to now just burst into a home in RL and take a seat? You believe Second Life could possibly cause a rash of home invasions?

Yeah, If I see a cluster of dots near by, I often go check it out.

But I don't send any nasty messages when I am ejected

How true Isabeau.

Sorry to hear your friend had problems Ricado - I hope it didn't completely ruin the event.

If I decline an offer to dance I immediately get called a lesbian among other things, which is particularly irritating to me because a) who says a lesbian wouldn't ever want to have a dance with a guy? and b) because I refuse dances purely because I have '3 left feet', feel a complete clutz when dancing and don't really want to make a muppet out of myself! - No more, no less. I don't deserve abuse for it!

Pride. being told they are not wanted in a place, or by someone, hits at the person's pride.

You sechs me now?

Ya, I do this too sometimes when I'm feeling bored. Most of the time I end up somewhere neat - for example; an ice hockey game, a couple of art events and a dog show. Yes, I found a dog show in SL. It was hilarious and super fun.

But, I have also dropped into a wedding, a private bdsm party and a support group. I TP's out before the host even had a chance to tell me to. I've also been ejected once or twice when I didn't react quickly enough but hell, I was the one who popped in uninvited. I didn't get mad - geez.

I think it boils very simply: Some people, both in SL & RL are just a**holes.

*shrugs*

Are players in Second Life fictional people now?

Do not confuse the difference between SL being a fictional place and the fact that the interactions take place with real people.

It may not be real life interactions. But those are real live people you are conversing with in Second Life.

Call anything you want about SL fake - sex, relationships, friendships, whatever - you might be able to string together a case

But in no possible way could anyone say the other players of Second Life aren't actually people in Real Life.

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I do not think that a lack of socialization and and desensitivity will lead to home invasions - rather I think it could lead some people to have trouble treating others both online and off very well.

Having worked with people with social phobia, it is often because they have never experienced actually being wanted, and thus have come to accept being in a place where they aren't as the best that they can get.

That actually made me sad.
It wouldn't stop me from asking an uninvited guest to leave a bachelorette party, and expecting them to comply without baulking, but I can kind of see the other side of the coin...

No one was being rude in asking the person to leave. He was being rude by not leaving. This type of person affects me directly by causing residents to be suspicious of others. It's a darn shame this sort of thing happens.

Now, blowing innocent hikers into orbit after they stumble upon your land and they don't have enough time to orient themselves or find the best way out - that's rude.

There's a huge, huge difference.

I think some people view SL as an "advanced chat room " or group of chat rooms..say like lavallife or american singles. They cant comprehend these chat rooms(servers/parcels) are being rented by the residents and therefore the residents have a right to choose who is invited here and who is not.

Also..SL looks alot like an MMORPG...characters..avatars..weapons..chatting..it doesn't even cross their mind that all this stuff is made by residents. I've often been asked if I was a linden when someone shows up on my parcel and they start a a convo about this or that and thy find out that i've built it.

On the other side of the coin are the people who rent entire sims and set up clubs and rentals and still sit at home and get drunk and become quite abusive with randomly ejecting people from their sim"just to watch them bounce'

~Lana Tomba

When I saw the title of this thread, I thought you were taking advantage the lack of moderation here to send me a message.