Saying you're off-line should be seen as such

can I just appear as (Hippo) ?

I disagree. They are two separate things. In real life I have the choice to not answer the phone. In real life I have the choice to not answer the door. In SL they know that I am there. Just getting IM's saying hello can be overbearing at times. Many times I am dealing with people who don't know boundaries and do not have the time to teach them, yet it is still important that I keep them on my friends list.

I agree with Brad. More than that, I'd much rather play myself rather than an alt, even if all I'm doing is building.

I've just never really had a problem telling people I was busy. I'm awful at multi-tasking, so if I start to get a bunch of IM's, I just start telling people to hold up, I'm working through some stuff and I'll talk to them in a minute. I was at the hangout last night sorting through a bunch of stuff (ok, I was drafting slut ratings), and I just told people I was going to be busy for a few minutes while I dealt with IM's, photos, etc. Nobody complained. It was more fun working with Lexxi sitting on my shoulder anyway. If people get offended because you ask for a little time to get caught up or whatever you're doing, they're being really unfair. I also tend to uncheck the online status box if I'm buried. I recheck it when I'm done, but it keeps the IM's to a minimum unless someone is really looking for me, which is, frankly, unheard of. People are usually avoiding me more than they are seeking me out.

If this really got to be a problem, I guess I'd go get an alt and use him. But I'm more of a social user of SL, so when I get online, it's not so I can be alone.

I wasn't sure if you had known I was there until I got up and you commented on it

I had so much stuff on my screen that I didn't see you at first until I sorted through it all, then I knuckled down and went to work, but I figured out you were there eventually.

i have to ask....."drafting slut ratings" ? its hard work i'm sure XD

Reminds me of a line in an old Woody Allen movie. someone asks the Woody Allen character what he does. Char says "I work at the local burlesque theater, helping the strippers get dressed and undressed."

Interlocutor: How much does it pay?

Woody: $50 a week.

Interlocutor: That isn't much.

Woody: I know, but it's all I can afford.

Sometimes I just log on to clear IMs and not in the mood to chat. One thing that bugs the crap out of me is my friend who IMs me the second he sees I'm online. Dude, let me deRuth and read my mail before I have to hear all about your latest get rich scheme.

Amen to that. It makes me want to jump up and down and scream. Those are the types I'm most likely to eventually delete. Tend to be way too clingy for my blood.

I have a strictly enforced rule that anyone who IM's me the minute they see me show up online gets removed from the list of people who can see my online status.

I guess I just don't have the same privacy needs in SL as others do. To me, the act of deliberately blocking someone from seeing me is kind of unfriendly -- when I feel that way about someone I simply unfriend them. I do not feel the "need" to have them on my FL so I can turn my friendship with them on and off as I wish -- that strikes me as game playing, but I know that others are not seeing themselves as playing games .. it's just very odd to me. I think that if LL is going to have a system that lets people "hide", it should work everywhere, though -- website, groups, profile, "friend" list, etc. .. otherwise it's just another broken thing.

This shouldn't be so complicated, and it really isn't so much about privacy. Don't you ever let your cell phone go to voicemail when you're busy and don't have time to chat? You're not trying to go completely into hiding, but you also don't want your voicemail greeting to answer back, "I know you are calling me but I'm ignoring you."

I'm finding the observations here very interesting. The main difference between wanting to become undetectable in Second Life, as opposed to real life, has less to do with privacy and more to do with the attitudes that other people take - and those attitudes have to do with the nature of Second Life as a world.

Many of the non-creator users on SL log in only in order to be with particular groups of people. This is particularly the case for roleplayers but happens with other social groups as well; it's perfectly natural. But it creates the problem that sometimes, by telling someone that you are busy, you are leaving them with nothing to do but log off, which usually quickly leads to them becoming angry and joining another group.

On the other hand, if you aren't online (or don't appear to be online) then that is commonly seen as a "real life" thing, and complaining that you have left someone hanging is seen as equivalent to blaming you for not putting virtual life above real - which is generally seen as unhealthy, geeky in the worst sense, churlish, and socially unacceptable.

I think we may underestimate the common sense of our friends. I have a couple of freinds who at one time would IM me as soon as I logged in, which really makes me feel good. I have a slow computer, though, and when all the world is gray I don't want to be trying to talk. Other times I have a mission to accomplish and I'm focused on that. I just don't return the IM's at those times - or make any attempt to disguise my on line status.

An hour or so later I would then reply -- Hey, how're you doing. I was busy / disoriented. Good to hear from you, etc.

They never took offense that I could tell. They are still on my friends list (or would be if it was working) and I still get a random "" out of the blue sometimes from them. People in general want to get along. --KC

If it's someone calling who is a RL friend, I will normally either answer, or get back fairly quickly .. I can't remember the last time I "screened" a call with a friend, to be honest. But I just don't see it like a RL phone in any case. I can't log in and off of RL. I can choose to be in SL or not -- if I don't want to interact with people, I won't be in SL, very simple. SL doesn't follow me around in RL like my cellphone does.

I mean, to be honest, it seems to me like people are using their FL the way that calling cards are intended to be used. Why not simply give people your calling card if you don't want them to see when you are around? It seems like that would solve many privacy problems people seem to have with this.

I just don't see what's so hard about typing "I'm busy right now, I'll get back to you a bit later" when someone IMs you and you don't want to be disturbed. Or you could reply "Sorry I'm in the middle of hot poseball sex right now.... " Usually does the trick...

I think the current privacy system is sufficient, but not always easy to implement... if you have say one hundred friends, disabling them all from "view online status" is tedious since you can only select 20 at a time. When you re-enable, then the system doesn't remember which of your friends had mapping ability as well. And "busy" mode would be better IF they had an option to just have the "answering machine" portion of busy mode separate from the ability to hide chat, accept inventory, friends requests, etc.

is there a 'vacation mode' that can be set to auto-reply ims while offline/away 'on vacation', a la amazon?? i coulda used that last time i was away... :\ seems obvious, but apparently i haven't figured that out yet.

Victorria,

I can respect how you want to live your own SL, but your "simple" summation does not help someone who is trying to build something, and can't get it done because they get IM'ed every 5 seconds. It really is not a privacy issue. The issue for me is that I'm busy! Just because you never want to take the phone off the hook doesn't mean I shouldn't even have the capability.

And honestly, why is anybody arguing against any type of "hiding" feature? If it's implemented, then people who want to use it will be happy, and people who don't want to use it won't use it. It helps some people, doesn't affect some people, and makes life slightly more inconvenient for clingy types and stalkers. If I'm mistaken, and implementing the feature would cause you perpetual social butterflies some impact, state why, and I would honestly be less inclined to push for it.

(BTW, that's not meant as an insult -- I'm a huge social butterfly when I'm not building something, which is why it is so difficult for me to retreat and get any work done).

Plain and simple: You don't want to be bothered on a certain day and you shouldn't be.

This thing about having to tell everyone who calls you you're busy is bs, plain and simple. And about not being on-line if you don't want to be bothered is even more stupid.

There are times you don't wish to talk to anyone regardless of what it is you're doing, whether it's building or what-have-you. You're not obligated to do anything you don't want to. Now if you feel you need to be well mannered and you should respond then knock yourself out do it but don't tell anyone esle they need to do the same.

You know exactly how it is in sl. You're logging in and before you've rezzed already you have IM's ringing up and at times you're not in the mood to deal with them. You should be able to have privacy if you do desire it and the current system doesn't give you any. Because you're in sl doesn't mean you should be accessible to everyone who wants it. It should be your choice whether you want to be or not.

Because it is actually kind of rude to tell someone that you are too "busy" for them. It makes the other person feel unimportant. Which is why in polite society you will get "sorry, he's in a meeting" or "sorry, he is out of the office" when the truth is actually, "sorry, he just doesn't feel like talking to you right at this moment."

I guess maybe it depends on how you view a "friends" list. If you are always "in" for friends then this "hide online status" thing makes no sense to you what so ever. If you view your friends list more as a people I know and want to maintain contact with feature, then it takes on a whole different meaning.

Back in the day, we used to use calling cards for "contacts" and "friends" was a really BIG DEAL because there were no privacy controls. You didn't "friend" anyone unless you didn't mind them being able to map-stalk you and always know your online status. Once privacy controls were put in place, calling cards dropped by the wayside because no one had an excuse any longer not to add someone to "friend." So, instead of a contacts list and friends list - everything morphed into just "friends."

But this is you. This is what you want due to shops or whatever reasons you have going on. If you don't want to hide your on-line status then you don't. There are many others as can be seen who would like to for their own reasons. And should be able to.

I'm just not even sure total invisibility would solve everyone's problem. I think it could lead to more "are you online now?" IMs. Even when hidden in Yahoo I occasionally get those kind of IMs. I think a more effective "busy mode" would solve several issues... I've used Busy mode for it's intended purpose and find that people DO respect that (especially since you can change the Busy mode message to anything you choose in preferences).

Why don't people who want peace for building use Busy mode more? Isn't that it's intended purpose? Perhaps the Busy feature needs to be enhanced/tweaked. The biggest problem I have with Busy mode is I still hear the "ping"... see the little tab come up... and I can't accept inventory. I'd prefer no ping, and the IMs to be *completely* hidden until I choose to view them. And, have the ability to toggle on/off inventory acceptance.

Well I don't find it rude at all... I'd much prefer someone tell me up front they are busy than what often happens now, where people take 10 minutes to reply to an IM. (It's no big deal, and I sometimes do the same thing.)

That's why I advocate for a better busy response... because the Busy response is automatically generated, thus need not be taken as personally. The other feature I'd like to see is the ability to set Busy *before* you log in.