My Plan to Take Over Second Life

Hello Faithful Minions,

If you notice this thread, that it was almost a year ago to date I put my plan into motion to take over Second Life and maintain World Domination. I have succeeded. You have not heard from me in a year and you have not seen me in game. It was all part of my grand plan as you all are now under my control: Let me count off my evil phases:

Phase I. Disrupt the community and cause dissention among fellow man. Start by distracting the public with injecting artificial crisis and mock wars. SL residents will fight, argue, and grieve each other on the future of SL community development, various land issues, and technical interface improvements. I will also dump enough gelatin into the Second Life oceans and rivers to solidify them for future hibernation use.

Phase II. Fund a world domination bid by opening a chain of clubs and casinos. Overtake the events calendar and flood it with Tringo, Bingo, Slingo and Sexy AV Contests. End all educational classes in order that the Noob Empire does not gain knowledge and experience if they are to be my minions. End paying stipens and hosting funds to the residents forcing them to seek other financial solutions. Constantly disrupt the value of the Linden dollar and the land values in order to place further financial stress and burden on the citizens of Second Life.

Phase III. Use the club profits to finance the design, manufacturing, and marketing of rectal suppository air fresheners. Distribution will be by way of standard world "Freebies" that can be found in every shop, store, mall, club, and home across Second Life. When SL residents slide into those new pair of free jeans, little will they know that you that will be sliding in the Kilroy Rectal Suppository Air Freshner (KRASH). The KRASH comes in cinnamon, floral burst, and potpourri scents. Yes Torley and Eggy this was started in BETA and for all you know you may be walking around with my BETA rectal air freshener inserted in your butts right now and not even know it!

Phase IV. Now that distribution of the Kilroy rectal suppository air fresheners are in the "butts" of SL residents, I can now turn on the embedded radio receivers that transmits signals from Noobie Empire SL World Domination Control Center. Everyone will start listening to the voices coming out of their butts. I will start with simple confidence statements like "Gosh Darnit, people like me". Then move on to "Damn it, Im good enough to be one of Kilroys Minions". For the older SL residents who often resist change, I will need to use a higher frequency and enforce the command, "I must obey Kilroy" Then on to suggestions and commands that will assemble my world Army of Evil.

Phase V. The commands I gave to all of you have succeeded in highlighting some of this past year’s phase of accomplishments:

a. Total mind control over King Philip and the Linden flock. He opened up the gates to my minions of Unverifieds and my army of griefers.
b. The closing of GOM and starting the never ending drama with LindenX and the stipens.
c. The elimination of the telehubs and my faithful land baron puppets who keep the land and community development in a constant state of upheaval.
d. The camping chairs---replaced the rectal suppositorys and became faster and more effective on mind control.
e. The dozens of the Kings loyal followers who have left SL for more challenging and rewarding games, WoW, Project Entropia, A tale in The Desert, etc, etc, etc
f. The down fall of N’burg, Ulrika, Porky, the FIC, Aimee, and Torley and many others to include the total uprising and civil wars in the forums.
g. The bush sign guy – brilliant spice of drama if I do say so myself.
h. The take over by businesses and corporations that have succeeded in elimination of the casual and vacation players. Those casual players who stay have fallen nicely into my sess pool of sex clubs and casinos.

Independent State of Caledon declares WAR upon... ah, do you have an organisational name, or a flag or something?

It's war, not for the fact that you want to conquer the entire grid.

I fully respect that.

But it's the *incredible* lack of style that just... gah!


And you are terribly late, when it comes to talking body orifices. Apparently, people are already *paying* for such things - don't even ask how I discovered such, one day. Originality, please!

there are those that wish not to be greifed and will hack or mind control you to stop your 'master plan' the noob empire can't be stoped and will still flow by the time you get to King Phillp, expect a auto-purge of your account by 15 tech deargees and all your fellow minions will never be able to walk into SL again.. unless you are going to take over RL, SL will be impossable to control

Let the Light destory your evil wishes ^.^

Sorry I was not done posting, my son let his car battery die and I did not program my army of minions to include my dork son on how to jump a battery. *Makes mental note to transmit auto-mechanic instructions up everyones ass.*

Continuation of other world domination ranting. . . . . .

i. Grim babies and all the other babies, carry on my seed into the world for total Second Life World Domination.

Now I move into Phase VI.

I will begin testing for mental and physical standards to ensure I do not have a collection of “Pompous Jerks”. Only the cream of the crop will be selected. They will be moved to secret colonies hidden underneath the gelatin oceans and rivers for hibernation. Those not selected will return to their normal lives except for the mood and tone of their rectal broadcasts, which will turn dark and foreboding, putting everyone into crappy moods. This will accelerate the already inevitable demise of the Second Life mankind as we know it--which its pretty darn close to being there already. This time next year, when the SecondLife mankind has extincted itself, my Perfect Avatars will be removed from their gelatinous cocoons and they will spread over Second Life to rebuild it in my image. Philip and the Lindens will be gone not even a faint memory of them will exist. King Kilroy will be the name everyone murmers and they will all chant KILORY IS HERE!

PS Ethen - I have gotten to King Philip already - he is a mere puppet in my hands.
Desmond - style? Were not the camping chairs more comfortable than the rectal air fresherners?

Sorry to burst you giant ass, shit filled bubble. But, this isn't real life, and if you try anything the lindens will come in and stomp asses out of mouths



For once... they're useful xD



Ah, I wish that someone could take over SL, so then maybe what the residents say would actually be heard and acknowledged by our benevolent KING/QUEEN!

But sad to say, we have a """"linden"""" problem that you can't possible *fix* without trying your luck with the ******real life federal****** police, if you know what I mean.

you tell him aimee...ill be right behind you im not givin up my chance to own as many pairs of shoes as i have hair pieces......


rain

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Damn you GEORGE W. BUSHES!!!!!

I told you all to stay out of the bushes.... but OOOOHH NOOOOO.

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LMAO, I think the part about torley being a NCP was the best.

No idea; I've never sat in one, but I'll give you the point.

While still horrifically tacky, yes, they *do* seem a cut above anything inserted.



I suppose it could be far worse. At least you don't use "u", "ne" or "rofl" in your writing...

Rofl

Begin transmission of mental testing of SL minions for Kilroys Perfect World - Phase VII.

1. Have you played truth or dare?
2. Do you chew on unusual stuff?
3. Sang anything really loud in public?
4. Wore panties on your head?
5. Use the back of your hand like a sticky note.
6. Do you troll the forums or web blogs to find and read any post or comment made by:
a. Any Linden
b. Ulrika/Kendra
c. Porky/coco
d. Aimee/Chip
e. Pandastrong/Taco
f. Anshe
g. Schwanson
7. Spent your months grocery money on a last minute virtual land auction deal?

Data collection receiver turned on.

1. Yes
2. Does sometimes count?
3. No
4. No
5. No
6a. HELL No
6b. No
6c. No
6c. No
6d. No
6e. No
6f. No
6g. No
7. What do you think I am, a retard??!!

Dear: Kilroy Kilian

Maybe I can be Usefull?

I happen to be a very cunny and intelligent Spy, very good at what I do, also The Founder of the Resident Defense Group.

I have weapons, "Devices", and Desires to earn even alittle L$ Maybe We could do launch and I could share some knowledge I have on the militry's in SL that may try to interfere with you'r plan, but what ever you do, undersatemateing me, Would cease your plans of domantion and I Would hunt you down and take care of you personally, Don't understatemate the knowledge, I can work for ether good or bad. So Maybe we can Do Launch?

Well, now look at this!

A potential follower.

Or sidekick, or... something.


If this fellow doesn't work out, at *least* get a chihuahua.

Well damn, I always thought that the route to world dominati0n started with declaring Yourself to be a Gorean master and convincing Your slave to buy and pay tier for a sim, then cementing alliances with other Gorean sims thus making yourself the de facto leader of the Gorean fashion that's overtaking SL.

Well you seem to be interesting you'r Self, if you offer me even 5L$ or more befor he doe's I'd be glad to Work for you, Also, I am a Pet so if you are a Master, I'd work for you for free adn grantee I'd not share anything I learned about you or what not to other Intelligent operations *grins very cunningly* I am very good at what I do.


My List of knowledges inculde----


Knowledge about The "Lindens"

Knowledge about Military.

Knowledge about User's and residents and stores and weapons and devices, and griefers and other usefull things.

Knowledge on Commuitys and what not

Knowledge on Your Plans to take over SL *grins and chuckles*

Knowledge on much more and alot more, If interested Contact me, If wanting a furry shadow (Jog) Pet Feel free to contact me, "Masters only no mistress's" Well maybe I may make a aception, If I have typo's Sorry, I know I spell bad. But i'm still good at what I do,. So much knowledge so little time. Who to share it with, and who to betray, so interesting, Masters I never normaly Betray *Smiles with pleading wise eyes*

So take time to think.

Good day Sir's and Ladies. and gentalmen and Furrys of all shapes and sizes.

Youre a dumbass.

You are hired.

I'll be dropping $L 25 to you the next time I get on the grid, five times what you were asking.


Here's the job description:

1) Don't do anything that would disrupt the lives of anyone on the main grid.

2) If you find yourself tempted to IM me, IM Kilroy instead. I'm trying to do some LSL scripting these days, and am not much for talking.



Just so we are clear: To me, "Master" is a courtesy title for minors, prior to being old enough to warrant Mister. Extrapolate my views on Gor and such from that.

Desmond - Good potential, consider for position in the Supply Room
TSU -- rejected, could mess up the gene pool

Aleister -- Potential, consider for breeding purposes
Xemnas -- Potential, consider for Legal Advisor
Evgeniy -- send more radio transmission and reevaluate

rain -- potential, consider for wardrobe

I dont personally hire anyone or enlist anyone into my services and I dont have a group nor do I plan to have one. I dont need a follower or a sidekick. This is a one man show with just my mere mind over matter energy being transmitted through everyones butt.

And despite "Ask Jake" account of human anatomy and the brain being in the head, I contend that an Second Life avatars brain is in his ass.

Here is my resume : I'm insanly rich and i already sucsessfully overtaken a few worlds.

(and there is a linux powered iPAQ on the back of my hand, and yes, i write on it)

Hmm becoming surprisingly aroused by kerunix. Im not gay - just curious.

I've considered a position for you too, sir.

Xcite! Wallet w/HUD ? I have one too

If you get in my way, I will kill you. If you don't get in my way, I will kill you.

But, since I am low on cash at the moment, I will be willing to make an exception
(Jesus I can't believe I'm saying this.....)

Gimmie LZ and I will.... work for your.... cause.
I have complete control over a few people you hold dearest, they know who they are, and so do you, you want to hire me, play me... hmm...... lets see.... 11deeBILLION F*CKING LINDENS B*TCH.

Had you going (about the whole join you think ,the rest is true ) didn't I HAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!

Now on a more serious note, If you get in my way, I will kill you. If you don't get in my way, I will kill you. Otherwise, lets brunch (if you meet me face to face to eat food with me, I will kill you)

EDIT: added stars to some words.



AHA!!!!! MOST WORLD DOMINATORS ARE GAY!

Did I hear pie?