My Plan to Take Over Second Life

You dont want to off me just yet. Since I am only a SL week old I am the perfect candidate to fall prey to your evil plan. And since I am a broke ass mofo I am sure there are ways you can manipulate me into doing whatever you want besides a pine tree butt plug.

The pine scented tree rectal air fresheners are not mine. Mine are in the shape of a tiki and they come in cinnamon, floral burst, and potpourri. Pleae bring the pine scented rectal air freshners to my World Domination Headquarters and Ill swap you two for one.

The pine scented tree air fresheners are not the origial Kilroys. Mine are inthe shape of a TIKI and they come in cinnamon, floral burst, and potpourri. Please bring those imitations to the World Domination Control Center and Ill swap you two for one.

If the world domination thing REALLY freaks you out, do not worry, the Lindens will save us. Right!? After re-reading the posts, I'm NOT freaked out. I find his posts a little funny, and wonder if we should actually take him seriously. Should we?

I just realized that I may have walked right into his little trap. I have been to a Killroy's Casino in world and really enjoyed myself. Dropped many thousands of dollars into the machine to fund his plan. In fact I liked it so much and was treated so well (I had a friendly female liason standing behind me the entire time I gambled) that have the place listed in my profile "picks" and even wrote a nice little blurb about it.

Now that distribution of the Kilroy rectal suppository air fresheners are in the "butts" of SL residents, I can now turn on the embedded radio receivers that transmits signals from Noobie Empire SL World Domination Control Center. Everyone will start listening to the voices coming out of their butts. I will start with simple confidence statements like "Gosh Darnit, people like me". Then move on to "Damn it, Im good enough to be one of Kilroys Minions". For the older SL residents who often resist change, I will need to use a higher frequency and enforce the command, "I love Kilroys Club and Casino." Then on to suggestions and commands that will assemble my world Army of Evil.

Ulrika, I have been observing your loyal following. If the title of "Knight" seems to chastising or petty, please have your General/Liaison Officer contact my people. I believe I have a ranking position in our organization that is fitting of your level of thinking and work in SL. At the very least, we can insure your people are spared and given the title of "Dominance Officer".

ReallyRick, you may be new but I have found you refreshing and inspiring. I offer you the posituion of Propaganda Officer which is of high importance. Money is not an issue -- lets do lunch.

Killroy.....Why do you attempt to fight when you cannot win and you know that i will kill you for it.

Ben Linden - It seems like receiving a boon from "King Philip" would be completely contrary to the entire idea of a resident government to the point of making a mockery of it - and frankly, we try to keep from mocking residents.

Mock away. I welcome your mocking. He who mocks first mocks last. Mock this.

Phase V of my plan will show King Philip a thing or two about mocking. Bleh.

Haha! Propaganda Officer, if you only knew! That is funny in so many ways that no one but me who reads this will get, but damnit, it still makes it funny.

I was serious though, I really did visit your club/casino and write those nice things about it way before I even discovered the forums. I went to the Grand Opening last night or the night before I believe and your nametag was noticeablly absent. I did not ask around for you because everyones eyes were already shifty when I was walking around.

Recently I have come into contact with the following groups of citiznes that might prove beneficial to your plan as I have built relationships with them The furries, those Star Wars clones, Star Trek Federation officers, midgets (or are they little kids?), the Elven or Elfish community, the SL fishermen, vampires, Goths, fairies (no not those kind), fairies (YES those kind), escorts (we just talked..no really thats all we did), the BDSM lifesytle leather, whips and chains cult, a few "families" (ducks bullets), and finally many, many "Normies". That's what I call those of us who just look well, normal.

If you still find my servies to be vauable I am only in world about 12-15 hours a day so it might be hard to catch me. But if you look real hard you may catch me at a Tringo, Slingo or Casino events.

I forgot to mention that I got my female roommate to sign up and she is even newbier than me, just 3 days old. Since I can pretty much get her to do whatever I want, she could also prove useful as well.

ReallyRick

Hmmm...
...Kilroy...
...George W. Bush...
...Hitler...

Three people, one goal... except for Kilroy can't kill people in real life... Hitler is dead... George W. Bush, rather not get into that, but I have one thing to say about him... He would stick the buttmint in his mouth... Tasty!

EDIT: I hope you're not including me in the Star Wars Clones...

Good Morning my faithful Noobie Empire and to the rest of you who are just turning in. Ha ha ha --- get it? Just tuning in? Oh, wait -- thats me turning in --- to your butts!!!

Ha ha ha oh what a side splitter, I slay my self. "Chuckle"

Last night in the Control Center as I watched my minions carry out my orders of sending my control messages to the SL residents, I noticed a lot of fighting and grieving of each other was becoming less and less. I dont know if its becaue my rectal air freshener is having some adverse affect on everyone's mental state, or. . . humanity has decided to be kind to each other? Ponders possibilities: Forum fighting will cease and desist, insulting and ugly builds will be no more, neg rating will be a thing of the past, and a hug rug will be on every corner.

Nawww, it will never happen. . . who am i kidding. Ok minions, get back to work -- Phase V is drawing near.

Enabran Templar - To combat this, I would like to take all of your ideas and combine them into a single revolution:

1. All Lindens who have established any sort of personal relationship with end users shall be terminated. New Lindens are barred from speaking to residents except in a scripted capacity.

2. All Linden alt accounts with non-Linden surnames are hereby closed.

3. All monopolistic services provided by residents shall be seized by the new, more enlightened and incorruptable Linden Lab.

4. "The Little Guy," hampered previously by the anti-competitive practices of a few residents, will be able to bid to share in the management and profit-making of these monopolies.

5. Instant Messages shared by all residents will be monitored. Any collaboration detected between multiple residents will result in immediate suspensions for those involveed.

6. Any users of the Second Life efnet IRC channel are hereby suspended indefinitely.

7. All users who are intensely familiar with the workings of Second Life are suspended indefinitely.

8. LSL is hereby deprecated. LSL shall be replaced with "Rental Scripting," a four-function scripting language designed solely to facilitate rental business and totally lacking in any functions that may be used for abusive, pernicious purposes.

9. All new business ideas and projects must be cleared with Linden Lab and obtain individual, special permission before being undertaken.

This revolution, while creating a vastly different world than we are used to, is necessary and required for the growth of Second Life.

Marvelous, simply marvelous

I work for you now. Thanks Tang!

Someone PLEASE tell me why I wasted a week reading this...

Meatwad, come by for a drink and a smoke. You look like someonw who enjoys a good joke and a laugh. Look at Rick, he is part of the family, errr Empire and taking a fancy to some our funniest peeps, errrr Generals. Id be happy to shake your hand and call you friend, err Admin Officer.

[uhoh ^ Kilroy in a weak moment]

OOHOOH!!! Will there be sunny delight and those little sandwiches with the toothpicks?

Your powers are weak old man, you should not have come.

Well, I shouldn't be here either, but my computer is stoopit! I'm trying to install Army Men: RTS (FUN GAME) and get this... "Unhandled Exception Error number: 0x80040707 Description: Dll function call crashed: chkreqs.SetupWindow"

Yeargh, this probably isn't the place for this, but can anyone help me?

I usually get Unhandled Exception Error number 0x80980245 Description : Your computer has attempted to do something more complicated than simple addition and must close down.

Hmm this was entertainig. Meanwhile I have REAL plan for Sl dominiaiton that soimply invovles Buying every residentand making themmy slave, which BTW is perfectly legal and enforceable.......unliek your plans....

not that i'll ever suceed but at least Ihave a chance.....

Excuse me Kilroy,
Xenophobia is what you are going to get here on SL with your takeover talks.
Everyone has their rights to live and work individually,
Can you even respect that right?
Unity between the different factions is the only way we can achieve domination
Taking over with air fresheneners? Please............ give me something NEW!
I guess not many evil masterminds got the creative touch.
Various firms had already tried to take over,
Every one of them failed.
So, what makes you different from them?

Oh, of course, wheres your monetary backup, and most importantly....
From who will you amass such wealth to take over SL?

There are 3 or 4 large financial institutes around SL.
Half of them won't give out loans to fund your cause.
Everything has a price you know.

Come on folks,
On this issue, so many people already tried.
No one is capable of taking over SL without the support of LL.
Getting their support isn't even something just a person can muster.
Let the people run the show.
Our corporations are capable of running SL just fine.
Most of us can make money without taking over SL.
Everyone got their price too!
Rather than spending your time messing with taking over SL,
All you will get is just a lot of drama.
Time to face the facts, and recognize who is in charge.
Everything will be so clear to see....... very soon.

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Time to change the way things are done in here.
A person cannot achieve much of anything on their own.
Knowing how to manipulate different firms to your cause,
Even then, would you be able to truely take over.
Other than that, finances is the only thing that should be of a major concern.
Various people would be glad to fund a cause like this.
Even some *SL elites* wouldn't mind to have a share in power politics.
Remarkably, no one has yet to be able to manage to do so.
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All my fellow SLers,
Time to strike against the tyranny of the oligarchy
Time to destroy the corrupt group of so called *capitalists* who run the show.
All the power is up for grabs!
Closing yourself to your little spaces will not lead you to fame and glory.
Kilroy, realize is fact:
In a famous Chinese proverb:
No general will act alone, with a companion, he has the power of dragons.
Go along with your revolutionary brothers and sisters.

Finding that there are still so many flaws in the SL society today,
I do wonder, is there really a future in the state that we are in?
No one has spoken of something like this,
And, I am glad many share my views and do something to change all this.
Never before have I seen a group of masterminds amassing on the forums.
Can we unite for the enhancement of our SL future?
I would not mind to take the spearhead to start this process.
All is already lost with this society, its time for something new.
Let my firm, Kavai Tradings, lead SL to the next level.

So........ instead of another one of them.....
Evil......
Ruthless......
Vicious take over plots,
I will guarantee that Kavai Trading will change SL through peaceful means.
Coming to a conclusion:
Everything we have today, it is a total mess.
So, the only way we can save SL, is revolution through a peaceful mean.

Been reading "Snow Crash" lately, eh? lol

I will be surprised if anyone got what I really wanted to say.

probably either just being saracasic like me, or actaully trying to become a major trading power in SL.

either way, doens't affect me so I don't care.