What about the D/s Community?

*smiles and waves to all and sundry*

I'm an SL slave -- arguably the cheekiest, or one of, as Mistress Mali can attest to. I don't know ... it's not something I came here planning to do, and it's not something I started out doing, but ... I just sort of walked into it, and it felt right, so I went with it. And I've learned a lot, I think. Far from arrogant, the D/s community is, at least in my experience, surprisingly friendly for the most part.

Why anyone would waste so much energy being upset about us is beyond me. I can assure you, at least, that I don't waste the barest instant worrying about THEM. I just cheerfully wear my collar and "Property of Andale Charming" title and let people think whatever they choose to think, because really, what possible effect could their thoughts have on me other than what I choose for them to have?

Well said and a wonderful attitude!

This is the only part of your post that I take issue with. D/s - Dominance/submission - does not have its basis in the bedroom. D/s is a part of everyone's lives: children and their teachers, employees and their bosses, group leaders and group members. BDSM, however, does have some basis in the bedroom. But just D/s by itself can be purely mental without any sexual component. If you are inferring one universally, then you just might be mistaken, as I know of more than one couple whose relationship is founded more on D/s than on BDSM. They do play at BDSM as well, but it is not the sole basis for their Dominant/submissive lifestyle.

As for a sexual preference being displayed openly in public - this has happened before, and it's not what causes the problems. Try applying that argument to non-straight sexuality, and it doesn't fly there either. It's not because I'm "flaunting" my lesbian lifestyle that I can't walk down the street holding my wife's hand - it's because the other people on the street don't like the idea of homosexuality.

The rest of your post, though, I concur with.

(Just for background: I am new to SL and have not done any sexual roleplaying there or elsewhere online. Cybersex is not my thing. I am a lesbian and have been with my wife for 7+ years; I also have a D/s relationship of nearly five years that is solely RL - again, I just don't play that way online.)

People, you have it all wrong. Sex is supposed to be just that, fucking. Then, when your done, you either start dating or leave a note saying it won't work out and leave before she wakes up. You are not, under any circumstance, supposed to become a slave to the chick either in real life or in the game.

(Second life spawns sexual deviants!)

I find this statement sleazy and sickening and insulting. I have full respect for my fiancee who is my team mate, my equal and my life partner. You live your life the way you want, but don't push your ideas on me, and leave children out of it too. The only teachers dreaming up sex slave scenarios about their pupils are the ones destined for prison.

Umm..get your mind outta the gutter. I am pretty sure she is speaking of one person holding a degree of Dominance over another, which happens in many areas of just about every culture, teachers and students being one of those....

Speaking as a teacher and a sub, there is most certainly non-sexual D/s in the classroom.

I can, and do control a classroom. I might not be the best in the world at it, but then I don't teach young and rebellious teens, so a firm hand isn't part of the skills I need (pun kind of unavoidable). I can, and when necessary DO exert my authority.

I agree, Jsecure, the teachers who sexual fantasies about their students (as sex slaves or anything else) are not destined to be long in the job. The main groups I teach are adults (19-45 this year) and although they are adults 'fraternising' with them is heavily frowned on - in fact it is a dismissible offence. I wouldn't go to jail for my fantasies with that group of people, nor the 16-19's that I work with, they are over the age of consent here.

But that doesn't mean there isn't non-sexual dominance occuring, and (sadly) dominance games too. D/s without sex, even within most sexual relationships (who does the cooking and washing say, it *might* be even, but it is unusual) is a part of everyone's life to that extent, just like all social animals.

D/s as part of BDSM, that is an extension to the norm, not a totally alien thing.

Your all fucking nuts. D/S is the dumbest thing I have ever heard about, why the fuck would someone will away their rights? Even if it does get your off sexually, don't you even think about the consequences which could come about by willing away your entire life to someone?

Christ, grow the fuck up people.

Ryen, I could ask the same thing, why dont you grow up. People involved in this DO have choices, if they arent YOUR idea of what choice to make what gives you the right to object? Do you have any real concept about what your so vehemently screaming about? Apparently not.

Thank you for responding much more tactfully than I would have.

Eloise is right on the money, too: obviously I was talking about non-sexual dominance. I'm quite surprised that it was taken as anything different!

What a concept! In the same paragraph, you ask why people would choose to give up their rights and then issue a command demanding that they "grow the fuck up," implying that they have "rights" but may use them to choose only what you want them to choose -- ironically declaring that they're not free to choose to not be free. How funny! You're sure you're not just a very confused dom, deep down?

Kidding, of course.

But the term "sex slave" is erroneous, as there's nothing inherently sexual about the "D/s" aspect of these relationships. In fact, there's at least one case of a straight female domme in SL who owns a female slave, and despite a total lack of sexual relations (virtual or otherwise) between them, both are happy with the arrangement.

Hehe..it's time for your spanking Ryen!

You mean like that teacher in florida, Debra Lafave?

How about people stop fucking worrying about what other people do, if it doesn't affect them?