Top 10 things men know about women

Top 10 things men know about women!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. They have boobs.

Hahaha! Good one.

hahahaha!

Yesh!

I very much dislike jokes that reduce a woman to her body parts. That last line could have said, "she has the brains". Instead, attention is called to a body part, sexually objectifying women.

Growl.

~Ulrika~

Growl right back at ya !
It's a joke.

Men

Life isn't fair to men. When we are born, our mother's get the compliments and the flowers. When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widows get the life insurance. What do women want to be liberated from?

------------------------

The average man's life consists of twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going; forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners are wondering too.

-------------------------

Reasons Men Like Being Men

1. Your last name stays put.

2. The garage is all yours.

3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

5. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

6. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

7. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

8. The world is your urinal.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

11. Same work... more pay.

12. Wrinkles add character.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $50.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. And don't forget... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

19. You know stuff about tanks.

20. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

21. You can open all your own jars.

22. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

23. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

24. You can leave the motel bed unmade.

25. You can kill your own food.

26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

28. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

30. Everything on your face stays its original color.

31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

33. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me.

34. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

35. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

36. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

37. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

38. You almost never have strap problems in public.

39. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

40. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

41. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

42. You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

43. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

44. Christmas shopping accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

45. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

46. We don't have to shave below the neck.

47. A few belches are expected and tolerated.

48. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

49. Your orgasms are real. Always.

50. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

51. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

52. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

53. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

54. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

56. No maxi-pads.

57. You don't mooch off other's desserts.


------------------------------

1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS? It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing. We men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormones modify behavior. We're just misunderstood.

2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE OTHER WOMEN? Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC? We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS? We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.

5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE? You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS? Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.

7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS? Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)? Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but whom the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need to go roam ... Starve in cave... Must go find wild beast... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end, on the other hand, is a whole other story.

9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING? Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?" Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

But then the joke wouldn't be funny!

Hoooo boy Talen, and here I thought I pissed her off. I'm glad I changed 'tits' to 'boobs'.

I'm just warmin up

have a giggle guys but remember!!! PMS=Punish My Spouse

Hah, good one and touche.

I can disarm a woman on PMS very easily.....always keep chocolate around and ask her if she's lost weight

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!"

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"

The other says: "Go home dad, you're drunk."


Gydeon.

Agreed!



28. Underwear? What a waste of money.
46. If you say so.

Your Kung Fu is strong /bow

On the contrary.. For some of us, underwear is an essential garment that protects our pants from us, not to mention protecting one's "little man" from a rather painful merging accident with the zipper.

Not only that but its a joke that makes fun of men - gotta laugh at folks that set up a soapbox in a pothole.... it kinda defeats the purpose

Siggy.

Top 10 things women know about men!

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. They like sexist jokes.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing you ain't told the bitch twice already!

I guess that's one way to live. Personally, I figured it was better to bathe and not be clumsy.

Tito's Top 10 things men should know about women!

1. Life would not be worth living without them

2. Life would not be worth living without them

3. Life would not be worth living without them

4. Life would not be worth living without them

5. Life would not be worth living without them

6. Life would not be worth living without them

7. Life would not be worth living without them

8. Life would not be worth living without them

9. Life would not be worth living without them

10. Life would not be worth living without them

Why are you championing political correctness? Not that I believe you really are. Come on, you can make jokes against the pope but as soon as someone offends women it's time to fight the good fight? I really don't believe you're that hypocritical. You're just having us all on. Okay, you got us... haha.

No more flame wars just for a day, ok? The ones over your Prok a-iiiiiI mean, um... your "other alt" was enough for the week. And yes, I think you are an evil genius but feel free to prove me otherwise.

Laughing really really hard now... good one Jonquile!


One word suffices: PRUDE!!!


Bingo Chance... cept the thing about not "believing" she is that hypodritical.

Nice call!!!