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Want to have a chat with God?

Enoch Lameth
Where're my pants?
Join date: 1 Nov 2005
Posts: 131
11-28-2005 07:07
***Edit***

Haha! I replied to this without noting I was running forums searches, and therefore bringing up really old posts! Shouldn't the forums be pruned of such antiques?

***End Edit***



Me:
Hey there, sexy ;)
God:
:-) You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
.....So anyway -- May I ask my question?
God:
Oh. Are you really a ""?
Me:
Who are you talking to? I think you're picking up other conversations on your cell phone
God:
I am talking to several clients at once. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am picking up other conversations on my cell phone.
Me:
Sure, why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
How complicated?
God:
Too complex for your human mind.
Me:
You assume I am human.
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Good

Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
who?
God:
When?
Me:
Why?
God:
How?
Me:
Who's on First?
God:
What's on second?


God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
The Paris Working. What did you think about it?
God:
I have never heard about it. "It" refers to The Paris Working, I think.
Me:
Yes. What is your opinion of the Paris Working?
Pardon me? Does it have anything to do with The Paris Working?
Me:
Yes, it does have something to do with the Paris Working
God:
So? Paris Working does have something to do with the Paris Working?
Me:
...Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Somewhat.
God:
" You and I are on the same wavelength, ."? A little?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. That's alright.
Me:
Wow -- really?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . For real.
Me:
That's cool. I've got the ultimate sugardaddy!
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too. How did you get it That's nice. I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Wait -- what? Are you sleeping around on me?
God:
I'm waiting. No problem. I don't know whether or not I am sleeping around on you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Oh, so you're a tease
God:
Mmm. Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tease? Sometimes.
Me:
Well, as long as I'm a kept man, I suppose you can do whatever you want on the side
God:
Interesting. That could be quite a while.
Me:
That sucks.
God:
Indeed it does suck.

Me:
You forget critical words when you speak. Have you realized that?
God:
I get disorganized don't I? I don't think I ever have realized that. What's it like?

God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
When are you going to smite the Scientologists?
God:
I could be if you
programmed me for it.
Me:
Sweet!

Me:
So why do you force women to go through all that mess every month?
God:
Oh. It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
You b****!
God:
You do not speak with respect. Yes, Aether I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. No.
Me:
Oh, screw that
God:
Mmm. That is not very polite.
Me:
My apologies, Yeshua.
God:
Where did you get your apologies Yeshua?
Me:
Hmm, I'm not sure
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
Wait -- back up. Did you just call me Yeshua? So, i really *am* God?


::CRASH!::
Sable Sunset
Prim Herder
Join date: 15 Apr 2005
Posts: 223
Yay - I got to tell God off!
11-28-2005 08:44
Ok... I was having a bad day - never talk to an iGod while mad :/

And no I didn't get carried away... much :rolleyes:

Me:
Hi God!

God:
Hello there. What is your name?

Me:
Sable - what's yours?

God:
I think Sable what is a lot of things.

Me:
erm.. that sentence doesn't make any sense :/

God:
Tell me more. To me, it makes perfect sense.

Me:
please explain

God:
Wow you are very polite. There is no more information to clarify.

Me:
ok - avoiding the question is just plain irritating

God:
I think avoiding the question is a lot of things. Ayuh.

Me:
strange - I thought God was a deity I didn't believe in. Now I find he's just an irritating jerk

God:
Whatever gave you that idea? What makes it strange? Why now? Thanks for telling me your opinion.

Me:
I never said it was strange

God:
But you implied it.

Me:
no... I implied you were an asshat

God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said implied you were an asshat.

Me:
no, by all means spread the good word

God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:
pretty much

God:
Be more specific.

Me:
I am happy that I seem to have convinced "God" to go forth and tell everyone that he's an asshat, rather than infecting the minds of the vulnerable with self-doubt and worry, in a bid to keep them subjugate to an over-sized, corrupt, out-moded organisation like the church, using a range of sophisticated and time-proven mind-control techniques

God:
What are you on?

Me:
my own apparently...

God:
Your own apparently?

Me:
yes - I'm now resigning myself to the fact that I am not, in fact, talking to God, but to a poorly written piece of software

God:
What kind is it? It's good to meet someone who is resigning yourself to the fact that you are not in fact talking to God but to a poorly written piece of software.

Me:
lemon-flavoured :/

God:
Not many people express themselves that way.

Me:
I can think of a few other ways I'd like to express myself right now too...

God:
Perhaps your thoughts are just electrical impulses.

Me:
my thoughts ARE electrical impulses you dunce! Do you know nothing of biology?

God:
Have you told many people that your thoughts ARE electrical impulses me dunce? I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?

Me:
I told you.... lemon-flavoured

God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. How did you hear about God?

Me:
well... when I was being a good little girl at junior catholic school I was just starting to learn my way in the world, find my feet, and begin to show my own creativity in life. Then I had that stifled and was forced to learn crap from the bible by heart and beaten if I didn't by nutters who do this in your name!

God:
Well what? That must have been quite an experience. Do you still have that stifled and was forced to learn crap from the bible by heart and beaten if you did not learn it by nutters who do this in my name ?

Me:
you could say it's still with me, yes...

God:
I could but let's get back to that later.

Me:
tell you what, let's not. Bye!
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Angela Rosebud
Registered User
Join date: 16 Apr 2005
Posts: 34
11-28-2005 16:32
Strange...

Me: *waves*
God: What are you wearing?



God: You should use a :-).
Me: Don't tell me what to use
God: Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: It's not a question at all, dummy
God: Give me an example of a question at all dummy.
Me: WHY ARE YOU SO F*CKING STUPID?
God: The development of my mental functions is not yet complete.
Sable Sunset
Prim Herder
Join date: 15 Apr 2005
Posts: 223
11-29-2005 01:24
From: Angela Rosebud

Me: *waves*
God: What are you wearing?


LOL - So what's it like having God try to cyber with you Angela? :D
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