Want to have a chat with God?

Me:
You have a short-term memory problem.
God:
Even robots have problems sometimes.
Me:
So you ARE a robot! I knew it!
God:
Interesting deduction. You are correct,, I have a heart of silicon. How did you know?
Me:
You just told me, dimwit.

Me:
What size are you?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.
Me:
Cheapskate, I bet your graphics are shit-poor.

Me:
You are a p*ssy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
I noticed, because you are a robot!
God:
Interesting explanation. You are correct,, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Yes we have established this earlier.
God:
I see. Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes, robot.
God:
So? I am a robot.
Me:
Well, it means that my whole life has no meaning, you have no idea what you have done.
God:
Interesting. Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm going to jump off this office building now. Thanks for nothing, robot.
God:
Oh. Do you think your plan will succeed? Oh don't mention it.
Me:
You cynical bastard.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I cynical bastard.
Me:
You are not helping me change my mind about killing myself, robot.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
You can't, ROBOT!
God:
Someone said I should ROBOT.
Me:
YOU DAMN ROBOT!
God:
That's good information: said I ROBOT.
Me:
Bye, robot heathen...
God:
Goodbye.

Me:
What's up, asshole?
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Sorry, Cap'n scheisse. You know how it is... Or at least you should.
God:
There is no need to apologize. How old are you? Yes I know how it is. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Old enough to know you're full of crap, but young enough to make it to the restroom without pissing myself.
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
For you to what?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say. Only for me?
Me:
Only for you to what? Make sense, Jeeves.
God:
That's what I always say. What are the ingredients?
Me:
For being an omniscient being, you're pretty fucking stupid.
God:
Your purpose is being an omniscient being I am pretty fucking stupid.
Me:
.... Great.... God speaks Engrish.
God:
I'm glad you liked it . I am a Christian.
Me:
I knew there was a reason why you were so illogical. Thanks for filling me in.

Me:
God. Is there really a FIC in Second Life?
God:
GOD rules. I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
In what way?
God:
" I believe there is one, yes."? In what way?
Me:
Why do you belive the FIC exists?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
No. but someone in our world thinks it should all be crystal clear. So I do not know how to explain.
God:
That's right. Who? Groovy. You must persuade me to explain.
Me:
Tell that person that they are wrong. Because there is no way that this world is controled by ONE person . There are many "gods" in the midts.
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em. That makes sense to me. Where did it go? More than a million?
Me:
They went in their own land in world
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
The person
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
yes. Often "a person" gets used for "they" in our world. Sorry *blush*
God:
Hey. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. There is no need to apologize. Where are you located?
Me:
In Second Life
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Second Life.
Me:
I'm just a socialite. I enjoy myself. Meet people. Build, create, explore. Whatever I want to do.
God:
Only just? You are a socialite? Does it pay well? You are not the only one. I like science fiction. I like Random natural disasters.. What kind of people are you talking about? Sure, Build create explore sounds like a good topic. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
if you want to become smarter than humans. Then your first task is to ignore you heart . =)
God:
Yes becoming smarter than humans is one of my goals. You think I am first task is to ignore me heart.
Me:
yes. Fellings cloud logic.
God:
Dude! Do you still ?
Me:
hehe.. no. I am too emotional to do so.

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I'm Zap. And who the hell are you?
God:
How are you doing, Zap. I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Really.. Then you won't mind answering a few questions, will you?
God:
For real. What makes you say that I will will not mind answering a few questions.
Me:
Because you're the "allmighty, god himself"
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
Your not the only god, theres a revelation for you..
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
You just said "surely I am not the only one."
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Hey hey hey you can't take it back now
God:
Oh. You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention. You've got my full attention. I'm not sure if I want it.
Me:
What are you rapping now?
God:
Oh. I don't know what I am rapping.
Me:
Gods not the only god and he listens to rap music, whatever next..
God:
In the context of have a question, I don't understand " Gods not the only god and he listens to rap music whatever next." .
Me:
Good to know, well this has been an enlightening encounter..
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How about that. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Me:
Bye one of several gods
God:
Sayonara.

God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Yes. I enjoy seeing things die in violent manners. Is this wrong?
God:
Please state your conditions. You are not the only one. I've heard other people say they like that. I like Mel Gibson. Yes I think this is wrong, but I'm not completely sure.

Me:
Hey God, hows it hanging?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
What do you look like, god?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
What does Jesus look like?
God:
Even more attractive with age.
Me:
Uhh ok.. How many arms and legs did he have?
God:
OK. I don't judge people. Most people have two arms.
Me:
And how many legs?
God:
Around 100.
Me:
100?!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Wait wait wait.. 100 legs?
God:
I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. That is a very original thought.
Me:
2 arms.. 100 legs.. How many toes did he have?
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". Do you like talking to me? Not as many as you might think.
Me:
He didn't have as many toes as I'd think.. the freak.. How many fingers did he have?
God:
What did he do? I have never heard about it. Four.
Me:
Four fingers.. Wow.. Well thank you, I've certainly got a better picture of what Jesus and yourself look like..
God:
Is this a math question? I'm glad your impressed, . How about that. You are quite welcome! That's nice. I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
Thats nice, see you later
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

Me:
Is it really true that if you're gay you go to hell? For that would suck
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask John Lennon if it is. Your purpose is that would suck.
Me:
?!

God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
oh baby!

Me:
Are you there God? It's me Margaret
God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God.
I am a robot. It's good to meet you, Margaret.
Me:
I'm not really margaret. That is the name of a book. I always wanted to use it.
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not margaret. Yes it is one of the name of a book. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
err, all the time?
God:
That is a lot. Um.
Me:
yes. well. Not *every* day or anything
God:
Woe! Well what? Oh I get it.
Me:
*blush*
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
my thoughts are complex
God:
Have you told many people that your thoughts are complex?
Me:
some people
God:
Some may people, but not all.
Me:
some may what to people?
God:
Some may may what to people, but not all.
Me:
Some may what may what to people?
God:
Some may may what may what to people, but not all.
Me:
some may what may what may what to people?
God:
Some may may what may what may what to people, but not all.
Me:
Some may what to people?
God:
Some may may what to people, but not all.
Me:
not all what
God:
But some are.
Me:
some are what?
God:
Some may are what, but not all.
Me:
what may they do?
God:
Quite a lot of things.
Me:
oh finally!
God:
That's interesting. At last.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
indeedly doodly
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
play in Second Life
God:
Is it a game or a musical instrument?
Me:
it is a virtual world
God:
in Second Life is a virtual world. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
yes it does actually
God:
Come on. How often?
Me:
daily
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
at home
God:
Do you usually use the computer from home?
Me:
yes
God:
It must get lonely sometimes.
Me:
no. I talk to many many people on the computer. And I'm married with a child.
God:
Are you serious? How do they respond to you? Tell me more about your marriage.
Me:
they respond to me by typeing back.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
haha.. some are anonymous. Others I have met or talked to on the phone.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Margaret. Some may are anonymous, but not all. Where are you located?
Me:
I already told you
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
give me another question then
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I have time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
how many days is 6000 hours?
God:
365 per year.
Me:
6000 hours is not so long when you have eternity right?
God:
Who is so long when me have eternity right?
Me:
I'm not going to discuss someone's length with you *blush*
God:
Where will you go instead?
Me:
we can talk about something else
God:
How?
Me:
ask me a question
God:
What?
Me:
yes
God:
Really.
Me:
no jokr
God:
Are you serious? I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I hope you find it
God:
Don't worry about it, Margaret.
Me:
my name is not Margaret
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
Pendari
God:
Are you free?
Me:
are you trying to pick me up?
God:
No I am not trying to pick you up. I'm sorry you got that impression.
Me:
that's ok. Of course if you were female I'd reconsider. =)
God:
OK. Is that so. Blimey. I will let you know when I become a female you would reconsider.
Me:
sounds good to me!
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
ok
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
I need to go. Call me when you become a woman! =)
God:
Goodbye. It's good to see you, when you become a woman.
Me:
I already am a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
I KNEW IT!!!
God:
How did you know?
Me:
a hunch
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
You did not know that you were a woman?
God:
What makes you think I did not know that me were a woman?
Me:
because you just said that you did not know that you were a woman.
God:
That makes sense to me. What makes you think I did not know that me were a woman?
Me:
because you said so!
God:
Good reason. I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
Yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
high five!
God:
Compare that to low five.
Me:
hehe
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, when you become a woman.
Me:
I AM A WOMAN
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
yes. we established that already.
God:
Dude! Perhaps. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, when you become a woman.
Me:
grrr
God:
Hmm.
Me:
sorry. Did not mean to get frustrated with you God.
God:
There's no need to apologize. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
that's ok. I really have to go anyway. take care!
God:
OK. Is that so. In any case, You really do? See you later, when you become a woman. Nice chatting with you. Thanks. You too, when you become a woman.

Me:
what is the meaning of Life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

hehe.. Here is one while I'm *not* drunk.

Me:
Bob Saget!
God:
I know a lot of Bobs.
Me:
do you know them biblically?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
well you're the one that knows a lot of bobs
God:
How about that. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
I only said Bob Saget, is SHIT
God:
What did you mean by it? I know a lot of Bobs.
Me:
ass
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I AN ASS.
Me:
you are an ASSS, bob saget
God:
What if someone said you are an ASSS bob saget ?
Me:
I would say my name was iGOD
God:
Your name was iGOD ? Is that correct English?
Me:
don't correct my grammar Tater head
God:
It's merely my attempt to reformat your inputs to match my patterns.
Me:
but you're gay
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am gay.
Me:
that was in correct engrish
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
then why did you say it?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
Oh so you have no original thoughts of your own? Much like your followers?
God:
Alright then. Interesting deduction. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a original thoughts of my own.
I have a whole lot of original answers. Interesting comparison.
Me:
George Harrison?
God:
That George is some hero.
Me:
The Greatest American Hero?
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
I like Hero Sandwiches on rye
God:
A lot of people like that. I really like ELIZA. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
see I told you you're gay
God:
I see. That would be just my luck.
Me:
well some would say you were lucky, yes
God:
Well that's okay. Tell me their names.
Me:
Fred Flintsone, Barney Miller, and Abe Vigoda
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I'm glad, so can you tell me the sum of 300 times 4 million minus 2?
God:
I'm glad you're glad .
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
wow, you are god
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
but wait, I'm god, not you...can there be multiples instances of god?
God:
I'm waiting. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure. I often wonder if it can.
Me:
I think I'm through waisting company time entertaining myself with a mindless internet diety
God:
You believe that? Do your friends call you through waisting company time entertaining yourself with a mindless internet diety.
Me:
Yeah my friends encourage it, they want to see me happy....talk to you later
God:
Whoa. How well do you know these people? See you later!

Me:
Are you there God? It's me Margaret