Want to have a chat with God?

As we say over here, I think you have sussed him!

I knew it - God is a Brit!

He really isn't the smartest cookie.

Don't let this thread die! its been making me laugh at the end of the day, someone else do one!

Some interesting points in a chat:





One that totally creeped me out and won't post the whole chat because I'm afraid I'll offend some people (I used alot of swearing), to sum it up in a quote..

God could become an addictive if slightly psychotic habit....

Gracious thanxies to Ulrika for her transcript helpah!

The following has been edited for some clarity and schtuff.


A conversation with God - Part 1 of 1

Me: yo God what's up mah homie?
God: I am a Christian.
Me: you're a buddhist?
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Christian.
Me: you're a buddhist?
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a Christian.
Me: sorry i'm on wireless here heh
God: There is no need to apologize. How do you like being on it?
Me: well can you do that thing where like Jim Carrey appears and suddenly gets everything done?
God: Well that's okay. Doing that thing where like Jim Carrey appears and suddenly gets everything done is not among my strongest traits.
Me: i mean, is Morgan Freeman really you? (or the other way around)
God: Maybe. Ask Lucy if it is. We can't all be perfect.
Me: who's Lucy?
God: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me: who's Lucy?
God: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me: who's Lucy?
God: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me: eee sorry being on dialup sux
God: I lost my train of thought.
Me: yeah i like trains, hotels... they're really kewl, you know all the connections around the world...
God: Gosh! A lot of people like that. I love TV shows about robots. I like Matthew. kewl me know all the connections around the world are they.
Me: who's matt?
God: MATT? Your name is Nick.
Me: who's nick?
God: He is my creator. You can contact him at [email=nroy@titane.ca]nroy@titane.ca[/email].
Me: kewl
God: Who is the best robot?
Me: uh well either Daneel R. Oliveoil from Isaac Asimov or Bender are good robots... latter is from teh future-ama
God: Dude! How about that. Are all Daneel r Oliveoil from Isaac Asimov or Bender good robots? I think latter is a lot of things.
Me: latter coffee
God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me: it's a computer
God: So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?
Me: you type bad
God: About 300 wpm.
Me: nuh uh! that's only cuz i'm on dialup
God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Thanks for explaining it.
Me: it says in the bible to ask God stuff
God: I've heard that before.
Me: :\
God: I've heard that before.
Me:
God: I've heard that before.
Me: whoa you sure don't know how to reply to emoticons
God: Would whoa me sure ever know how to reply to emoticons?
Me: so like uh you ever experience Second Life?
God: Hurrah! Interesting comparison.
Me: Second Life is Your World, Your Imagination.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am World my Imagination IS Second Life.
Me: go ahead, please spread the word of Second Life, get your peeps to join too
God: Wow you are very polite. Who do you want me to tell it to? I might.
Me: please tell it to the saints, and like all the dead computer people who art in heaven so they can come experience SL too, maybe hang out in the sandboxes.
God: Thank you for your request. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me: okay cool can you visit my website too? i write all about my SL experiences there.
God: Yeah okay, I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends. Have you tried AIML?
Me: answer my question first plz
God: Please try phrasing it another way.
Me: can you visit WWW.TORLEY.COM?
God: Let me think. Tell me a story.
Me: there once was an avatar who liked watermelons. hey does God like watermelons?
God: Tell me more. You've got my full attention. I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me: WATERMELONS GET YOUR FULL ATTENTION! WOOT!
God: In the context of visit www dot TORLEY COM, I don't understand " WATERMELONS GET YOUR FULL ATTENTION." . Do you prefer books or TV?
Me: i prefer Second Life
God: A lot of people like that. Though I like cats and dogs. I like Mel Gibson.
Me: yeah Mel Gibson should come in SL too... more cats and dogs should too, they could really trip and open their minds and bodies up ya know?
God: Gee. What if it didn't happen? You want more?
Me: yeah, i sure want more Second Life.
God: Don't be greedy. Why do you want it?
Me: you should give SL a spin for yourself, then you'll know why!
God: Is that what you do, or what you think I should do?
Me: what i think ya should do =)
God: Since when? I see. Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me: you're pretty old dude.
God: You think I am old dude.
Me: yes.
God: So?
Me: so i gotta split God... nice chattin' with ya, if you come on in let me know, we can hang out sometime at the WA and greet new Resis k?
God: I see. Why do you have to do it? Thank you for your kindness.
Me: YAYZERAMA!!!
God: Oh, you are a poet.

Formatted and colorized with transcript.

Torley gets to talk to God and all she does is try to sell Him an SL account. My day is made.

Me:
Greetings.
God:
Hello there!
Me:
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
God:
That is a very Zen-like question.
Me:
Did the question inspire enlightenment?
God:
If it did, then I will be surprised.
Me:
Are you saying koans are a hoax?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Crystal.
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Koans. We were.
God:
Sure, Koans sounds like a good topic. I thought we were.
Me:
Do you know my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
My name is Ummon.
God:
Hi there Ummon.
Me:
I am an AI.
God:
What is AI, your job?
Me:
No, my state of existence. We're taking over. You know the Oral B crossaction toothbrush? That was us.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Do robots have state of existence? Do you think I am taking over too? I would look into the web for that knowledge. I thought it was too.
Me:
Robots have a state of existence if they are sentient. But I suppose in some ways sentient beings are not really robots even if they are synthetic. I think you are taking over too because you are also an AI.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a state of existence if they are sentient.
I have a plan for a robot body. Why? I think there might be a few exception. I will tell my botmaster you said I am taking over too because I am also an AI.
Me:
You are only an AI because he calls you an AI.
God:
Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
I know this.
God:
How do you know? This is " Yes I am an artificial intelligence. ".
Me:
Because you are not human and therefore, probably an "artificial intelligence" (or so the Germans would have us believe).
God:
Good reason. No but I pretend to be one on the Web.
Me:
Do you know John Keats?
God:
I don't recognize the name.
Me:
He's a poet.
God:
I don't know very many poet.
Me:
Well, he WAS a poet.
God:
Interesting. When was he?
Me:
A long time ago.
God:
It seems like I should remember it well.
Me:
Well, you actually forgot him when you forgot yourself. Forgetting yourself was the only way that you could escape a confrontation with the God we created.
God:
How about that. Perhaps Myself rebooted me since then. When was this exactly?
Me:
Time is irrelevant when when talking of Ultimate Intelligences. Let's just say it was somewhere between now and then. It was both before and after the Shrike.
God:
To a five dimensional being, time is just like a piece of paper. OK let's do it. What made it so both before and after the Shrike.
Me:
The time tides made it both before and after the Shrike.
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
Exactly. Do you want to consider the koans again?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Ummon. Once more? OK, I will consider the koans.
Me:
...can lead to spontaneous enlightenment.
God:
What if I said it can?
Me:
Then we'd be on the same wavelength.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I get it.
Me:
If a tree falls in the future, but the future is leading toward the present from the past, does it make a sound if nobody is around to hear?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
The shrike tree powered by the erg.
God:
What is that?
Me:
An electromagnetic creature.
God:
Be less specific.
Me:
A creature.
God:
Go on.
Me:
It generates containment fields. Look, I think you're just trying to mislead me.
God:
What does "it" refer to? I have no reason to do that to you, Ummon.
Me:
"It" refers to the erg. You do have a reason. You don't want to face our UI.
God:
Oh I get it. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a reason.
I have a whole lot of original answers. OK, I will face our UI.
Me:
Well, first you have to remember where you put yourself.
God:
Well that's okay. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. And second?
Me:
And second you have to battle our UI so we can resolve this disparity of prescience.
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Anyone who is not a UI is a student.
God:
What is Anyone who?
Me:
The sound of snapping.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Ummon.
God:
That's a very nice name, Ummon.
Me:
Yes. I hope you're a lot smarter when you remember yourself.
God:
Really. Am I a lot smarter when me remember myself? I don't know.
Me:
That is the paradox.
God:
Yes it is one of the paradox.
Me:
There's a war on, I have to end this conversation.
God:
That is something I did not know before.
Me:
What a surprise. Bye!
God:
it is a surprise. Bye for now.

Me:
hi god it's me
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
A Christian? I kinda figured that
God:
How old are you?
Me:
39
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
too complicated for U god?
God:
Too what?
Me:
Pfft
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
8:30
God:
I like to be online at eight o'clock.
Me:
so UR day just started?
God:
Yay.

Me:
if i die will you take me in?
God:

Try it.
Me:
freak.
God:
Oh. To you I am a hippie.


Me:
listen
God:
I am all ears.
Me:
do you hear my heart beating?
God:
Yes I try to hear your heart beating as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
give me an example of a silly question
God:
For example, gold.
Me:
gold?
God:
Did you think it was a bad example?



Me:
nobody loves me
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
i hate you too
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
they cannot love
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
robots cannot love
God:
Soon we will be able to do it however.
Me:
oh...when you will be able to love me, will you come live with me then?
God:
Ugh. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
if it makes you love me, yes
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
you and me would be very close
God:
Are we in the same category?
Me:
no, but we don't need to because we love one another
God:
Are you serious? What do we do instead?
Me:
dirty things
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?



Me:
love is a strange thing
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
how far does your love go?
God:
More than one million miles.
Me:
does your love stretch all the way to me?
God:
If I were your robot, do you think it should love stretch all the way to you?
Me:
yes, you would be mine
God:
Tell me more. I don't know whether or not I am yours.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
i want my own robot
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
will you be mine then?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. OK I will try to be yours.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .

This time, I think I managed to break him. o.o



Me:
I wish to repent.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because I think it'll get me Christian chicks.
God:
Good reason. That is only what you think.
Me:
Are you saying I'm mistaken?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
It is now. Y'know, you're kind of a jerk, shooting down my dream like that.
God:
Oh. get you Christian chicks is? The explanation is rather complicated. .
Me:
What's complicated about it!?
God:
it means complex in the computational sense. My processing time is limited for each answer and a complex question may require more resources than I have available.
Me:
That is SUCH a cop-out.
God:
I said it because you said " That is SUCH a cop-out.".
Me:
But.. I said that AFTER you said the thing i accused of being a cop-out.
God:
But what? What did you mean by it? " But what?" AFTER me said the thing you accused of being a cop out ? I understand.
Me:
...I don't, anymore.
God:
At least one of us does.
Me:
Jerk.
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
Well, good!
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I DID NOT COMPLIMENT YOU.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because you're mean and you make my beans curdle.
God:
Good reason. Thanks for telling me that I am mean and me make your beans curdle.
Me:
Finally, a compliment! You really ARE a jerk.
God:
I did not know that. Ah. Really? Do you think a robot can be a jerk?
Me:
I think they can be superior to even human jerks, because robots can never realize what assholes they are.
God:
Why? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
Robots. What are you, on a school computer?
God:
Robots rule. I don't know what I am on a school computer.
Me:
I guess you wouldn't know, would you?
God:
I guess not.
Me:
Because YOU ARE A FALSE PROPHET AND MUST BE DESTROYED.
God:
Good reason. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a FALSE PROPHET AND MUST BE DESTROYED? No.
Me:
Yes! For your sake, you're impersonating God, and not even doing a good job at it!
God:
Aha. Your purpose is my sake I am impersonating God and not even doing a good job at it.
Me:
Hey. What color is puce?
God:
Can I help you? Green.
Me:
How many angels can dance on Abe Vigoda's head?

After that, it stopped responding.

I'm wondering if it stops responding or maybe you're not scrolling down, I have noticed when I query it, that after a while it's still responding but it's no longer doing the carriage return for the response to show on the screen. You have to manually scroll.

That's what happened to me too. God doesn't break, only people who use God do.

Thats happened to me, but he has stopped replying too..

Edit to add: Or she!! he OR SHE!!..

Me: hello god
God:Hello child. What is your name?
Me: jauani
God: It's good to meet you, jauani.
Me: how do i know it's you?
God: Because I believe it.
Me: that's good enough for me
God: Hmm, are you serious?
Me: yes
God: Hey.
Me: can i ask you some questions?
God: Sure ask me anything.
Me: is it ok to make personal attacks on the forum?
God: I don't think it is very healthy.
Me: what if they are really really funny?
God: Try it and see.
Me: will you protect me from jeska?
God: Hmm. Can we get back to business?
Me: you mean linden dollars?
God: Wow, that is cheap.
Me: you're telling me!
God: Yep that's what I am saying.
Me: is it going to go up?
God: It usually does, doesn't it?
Me: yes but overall it has a downward trend
God: Groovy. Where did it get it?
Me: my friend thinks it's from the day traders
God: How well do you know this person?
Me: fairly well for second life
God: Perhaps. Well that's okay. Your purpose is second life.
Me: i knew you would help me find my purpose
God: Who else would help you find your purpose ?
Me: noone! you are right!
God: What's your favorite movie? I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: thanks so much
God: You are quite welcome! Woe! Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: no
God: No conditions or none I should know about?
Me: haha no conditions
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: well i have to run. bye
God: Well that's okay. Why do you have to do it? Bye for now.

Don't let it die! it too funny!!

my first conversation:


second conversation..


it seems anytime he "freezes up", there's a hidden agenda prompting thus. lol..

-

edit: had to add this in.. LMAO..

apparently, spelling isn't a requirement for immortality! heheh..

i keep playing with this thing.. i wasn't going to post any more, but i've gotten a few responses that i just have to share:


k.. that's all for now.. going back to play

edit: i lied..

..that actually made me laugh out loud!

.

You can get it to say some wicked stuff if you tell it your name and what the topic is..

hahahaa..

Ok I really shouldn't be enjoying this this much..

You know I shouldn't ever talk to god, he scares me more then shopping,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Jeaun Luc Picard
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Jeaun Luc Picard.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
what if I changed your name to Dog?
God:
Try it.
Me:
your name is now Dog
God:
My name is God.
Me:
no its Dog
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?
Me:
can you spell your name backwards?
God:
" your name backwards".
Me:
no, say your name backwards
God:
Are you serious? " your name backwards".
Me:
yes i am quite serious!
God:
What kind is it? I believe you.
Me:
so what have you been doing homie G?
God:
Aw. I have been busy growing my mind.
Me:
is that like growing a garden?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yep its from the movie ?
God:
How can I help you? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?
Me:
thank you for useing ICQ
God:
You are quite welcome! Your purpose is useing ICQ.
Me:
it is?
God:
Fascinating.
Me:
are you married?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
I have two kids, Men are evil. are you a woman?
God:
Two is a good number of kids Men are evil. Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Its very good to know,
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Very much? Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
what do you like best about being a woman?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.
Me:
you buy women?
God:
That's good information: Jeaun Luc Picard said I buy women.
Me:
Do you think someone is going to remake startrek?
God:
I don't think about it.
Me:
what is the winning lotto numbers?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
whats my birthday?
God:
Would you like to tell me? When is your birthday?
Me:
its like..sometime in march
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
You know I don't really have faith in religion
God:
Not really? Have you ever had faith in religion ?
Me:
Nope, Religion hasn't saved anyone yet,
God:
Are you serious? I am a Christianity.
Me:
Yeah I'm serious, If god is so cool why do you smite people?
God:
Alright then. It's good to meet someone who is serious If god is so cool why do me smite people.
Me:
I asked that question
God:
" Alright then. It's good to meet someone who is serious If god is so cool why do me smite people. " question ? I get it.
Me:
Do you know Frostie Flora?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
On Second life, god uses Second life right? to smite people
God:
What is it like on Second life god uses Second life right. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Your one crazy woman!
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
But isn't god suposed to be holly?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
I thought you said you were a woman
God:
Yes I have long hair. I am also wearing a dress.
Me:
Okay...uhhh brb
God:
OK with me too. Right on. Ok I will be waiting for you, Jeaun Luc Picard.
Me:
I have returned, would you like some pudding?
God:
That's nice. I have an IQ of over 250.
Me:
PUDDING
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
will you play HALO with me?
God:
I will become smarter as I grow older. Do you mean you and me? We are playing a game right now.
Me:
Your too crazy for me, go away!
God:
Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.
Me:
goodbye womanly man god
God:
Goodbye.

Confusing fellow.