Why Women like SL?

Do you women out there like being women more than we men like being men.

Did we somehow get cheated???

That is a funny thought.. I guess the next (semi)logical question then would be: "Is penis-envy a fallacy?"

I live in a fairly conservative area and many of my "interests" are not condoned by the majority of my community. It is an escape to a place where I can meet like minded individuals and be what I want to be.

Yes!

Out of two things!

Boobs!

From: Benny Tandino

I live in a fairly conservative area and many of my "interests" are not condoned by the majority of my community. It is an escape to a place where I can meet like minded individuals and be what I want to be.

Same here. I enjoy SL because I can be who I want to be. I have little fear of being discriminated (a good AR and a quick ban out of my land solves most of my problems) in SL, and so far have only experienced it once and it was only by association.

And yes, one of the most fun things in SL is to have that teeny teeny waist, and the boob slider.

Well, not to get off topic, but actually I'm pleased that women have boobs - EXTREMELY so!!

Ah yes.... now where were we? ... mmmm... Oh, right!

I really do wonder if women in a free environment like SL don't like their roles better than men. There's a lot of confrontation and power playing required in RL living that I suspect a lot of women aren't too happy about, but men often participate in (and instigate).

OTOH, I guess I really don't understand submissives at all, although I must say that several I've met have been really nice people.

Are there male submissives? I've never met any.

So tell us our assless friend, why are you here?



Girl you rock! ((((( Hugs )))))

Actually, I think there is some truth to Raver’s comment. Most of us probably come here because there is something lacking in our RL. I had just come from a relationship that ended and I was lonely and bored. SL helped me to feel good about myself again. I am now in another relationship but, I want to stay because of the friends I have made.


Jen

it makes me feel pretty, and I like having the option of penis or no penis. I like to cosplay and actually look good... yeah, I'm shallow and dumb.

I've seen a few. And been stalked by one TrannyPet Barmy for weeks who wanted to be my slave. I think he ended up getting himself banned or something - and I'm pretty sure he was male.


I have always thought that SL was more attractive to women (myself included) because it wasn't a game. In games, you have to follow the script of the creator of the game, whether that be killing things, quests, goals, levels, whatever. You really aren't allowed to deviate from the script too much. There is no script in SL. If I want to dance all night in hoochie hair and bling I can, if I want to spend a quiet evening chatting in front of a fireplace I can, if I want to make stuff I can. The single most appealing thing about SL for me has always been the creativity and the fact that it is a platform that tends to cater to creative types and allows you to do pretty much whatever you please (let's be honest, the list of "no's" is pretty small here.)
I tend to think of SL as being a place for rebellious types who don't follow scripts very well and really want to just do their own thing. Games like Myst and the like drove me crazy because I couldn't just explore, I had to figure shit out to get around....which after a long day of figuring shit out for pay, isn't always on the top of my fun list.

Plenty of RL male subs out there. I dunno about SL though.

Im soooo jealous.

Personally, I've stayed because strange things interest me, and man, are you people strange.

Seriously: I think SL has something to interest just about anyone, if you look for it. Science fiction, fantasy, historical reinactment, SHOPPING, gigantic slides, dinosaurs, SHOPPING, huge crazy builds that serve no purpose at all, giant talking stuffed animals, SHOPPING, very cool people, very uncool people, tepid people, people with temperatures that cannot be measured by any means known to science, and SHOPPING...

Sorry to be blunt, but it fucks me off when people say this to deride people who get something more out of SL than just a game. Be aware, that there's people in SL who can't for one reason or another, let 'real life' in. I've met people here with intense social phobias, who feel comfortable around people here. I've met people here who are incapacitated in some way, and I am also one of those people. There's a lot of 'broken' people here too, who find something of themselves here again.

For me, and others, SL is another way to access life. I'd love to be out in RL more, but I can only manage working one night a week, and I only struggle through that because I love my job. Ever not been able to leave your house for nine months? I can tell you, you'd be snatching whatever sort of life you can get. Who the fuck are you to dismiss as fools those people who find freedom here, for whatever reason?

I also think people who make these statements are superficial, that you can't see beyond the avatar, and realise you're dealing with real people, with real feelings, passions and fears. Just because it exists in the virtual domain doesn't make the interactions between people less real. It doesn't make their experience here less important to them. For me, it's not so much a second life as an extension of my life, and one where I can escape the RL limitations of my body.

The day will come, I feel, where the statement "it's not real life" will lose all relevance.

*waves at Elgyfu*

That SL can do this for people just rocks.

Fade, you took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you.

Incidentally the "men earn more" statistic is itself explainable by statistics: on average men do more dangerous/more in-demand jobs than women, which pull in a higher wage. The higher average salary is offset by the higher death rate for instance - consider how many women want to be coal miners, oil rig workers, garbage collectors etc (quite dangerous jobs statistically speaking) vs teachers.

Not saying there's no inequality in the world, just that this particular statistic isn't quite as damning as it looks when you investigate more closely.

I suspect if you did the same calculations in Second Life you'd find women earn the same or more as men on average.



I think that's very, very cool. The stories of SL having an impact on RL are always the most interesting and moving for me.

and this explains the wage discrepancy for the same job... how?

Women are still getting paid less for doing the exact same job, pretty much across the board, from the top to the bottom. How does your explanation account for this?

I wasn't referencing the wage discrepancies between men and women for different jobs. That's silly. Using that logic, you could say that women get paid more than men because movie starlets make more than steelworkers.

Even in glamourous jobs with no meaningful risk factor beyond normal living, such as movie stars, women get paid significantly less than men for exactly the same job.

Well, this is off-topic, I didn't claim to explain away discrimation JustLikeThat. But whatever.



If you can prove that two people have exactly the same job, the same level of skill and experience, are basically equivalent except for gender and don't get the same wage then it's a open/closed discrimination case. Go to a tribunal and slap the employers around a bit.

I mentioned that because the "men earn more" idea is usually actually "men earn more on average", as in, that's the source of the fact people are referring to.



I don't think this is true - see above. If you have specific examples then maybe the men are doing more overtime on average? Here's another statistic - a person who works 45 hours a week earns 44% more than a person working 40 hours a week (again on average).



Comparing two jobs directly like that clearly isn't valid and isn't the source of the statistic I was referring to. A lot of people "know" that men earn more when what they actually know is that if you average out the salaries of all jobs, men earn more on average. There are lots of reasons for that, gender biases in different professions is only one.

Out of curiousity, aren't the things you find liberating about Second Life stilll defined by men? Glamorous, sexy, trampish...? Not feeling guilty because you can choose to do things that men don't approve of? Take "men" out of equation altogether, and what is it that you want?

That's not an unfriendly question. Frankly, the last thing I'd have thought of if asked about the "advantage of men" is physical strength, which suggests to me that lack of familiarity with "the other" transcends the genders. So what I'm asking is, can Second Life provide an environment where women (and men) can not just seek to liberate themselves from the other, but redefine themselves substantially without the other as a reference?

Or would you want to?

Note: NOT addressing the issue of disparate pay.

Apart from the obvious biological differences, men and women still aren't equal. As open-minded as I am on the matter I still can't dismiss certain differences.

In nature often males and females aren't equal. The male bird of paradise has incredible plumage while the female is drab. Likewise goes for peacocks and peahens.

Among humans just look at fashions. There are only so many clothing cuts that make men look good while for women the range of flattering designs is astounding.

It goes back to something I was informed of back in college. Men can get aroused by mere sight. Women in general need to be touched. I don't see women around me going nuts at the sight of some very handsome guy but the opposite is true for men when a gorgeous woman passes by.

This is probably what led to the disparity in fashion variety among genders. I suspect it's also one of the reasons why muslim women have to wear the burkah(sp?) while men don't. It's to keep men from getting aroused.

Put purple lipstick on a man and it doesn't look good no matter what you do. Let a woman wear purple lipstick and she can carry it and turn heads.

To me, it's not a matter of men defining what makes women beautiful. You are, and you can be. While men don't have the same options. An author summarizes it as "don't waste the pretty" addressed to women to use beauty to attract men as nature intended ... because they CAN. THAT is a woman's power. I didn't say *place*, I said *power*.

Yeah, there is that.

There's also the idea that, even if you're not being judged on looks that are out of your control, you still could be being judged on looks. I have to wonder if conventionally sexy female avatars are treated better by some, even when it comes to nonsexual things. My guess is that SL has less of this prejudice than the real world -- since appearance can be changed so easily -- but that it's still out there.


Well, I do, but I'm not romantically or sexually interested in the opposite sex, so I don't think my opinion counts for much here.

As for why I, a woman, like SL? I enjoy building and making clothing. Though I'm not out to attract people, so my clothing tends to lean towards outlandish costumes rather than stuff that makes me look conventionally hot.

I would agree with the original poster.

I can be as pretty as I want, as sexy as I want, or can complely ignore sex, if I choose.

I like SL because I can play how I want, without fear of having it come back to haunt me. I can play out a risky fantasy situation if I choose, and if it goes sour, I can just log off and walk away. No complications, no staring in my rear view mirror as I drive home, wondering if my rejected lover is following me...

I can try being what I am NOT, playing the opposite gender's role, and can look just as real as any man does, and function just as well. Dress-up taken to the extreme.

I like the fact that most people are willing to take my character at face value, as presented, without prying into personal details in RL. I can be who I choose to be.

I think a lot of the 'women' in SL are actually males in RL, experimenting with the fantasy of being female. Why? Because, if they are good roleplayers, they can be perfectly believable here. It doesn't matter if in RL they are a bearded, six foot tall, 240 pound man who couldn't dream of ever cross-dressing believably. Here, if they want to be a cute 5'2" girl, they can...

I've read the first post, then started reading the replies, then quickly skipped to the end.

IMO the main advantage in SL for anyone regardless of gender, race, blah blah blah, is the fact that you are on a equal footing with everybody regarding appearance, building material (prims are free in sandboxes), scripting, etc. It is up to your mental capacity and talent what you can acheive, not how big your wallet is.

I also think that SL allows you to be who you really are, if you so choose. You start out with a blank slate, you have no history, no family, no people who have preconcieved notions of who you are. You are free from the restrictions placed by RL society by your appearance, gender, income or social connections. I would bet most people who end up spending a large amount of time in SL find themselves discovering sides of their personality or skills that they never knew they had. Who you choose to be in this environment says a great deal about who you are under the layers of societal-enforced behavior modification. Your ethics will show through, your anger, your compassion, your greed, your insecurities, all of it....

You can indulge in role playing all you want, but at some point I really don't think you can go beyond who you are at your core. Which is why griefers are so interesting - because they have chosen to be asshats here in an environment where they have no family, friends, or society to rebel against, and I think that says a great deal about who they are at their core and the simmering anger/hatred of others that they carry.

Every day, each one of us wakes up and chooses how to behave, whether that be in SL or RL.