Why Women like SL?

A thread in another area got me to thinking about why so many women enjoy SL. Speaking for myself, several reasons come quickly to mind.

SL is a world where women truly have equality to a much greater extent than in RL. The primary advantage men have over woman in RL which, influences many things is physical strength.

Here I am just as strong as any man. I don’t need him to move or lift something. I can truly do anything men can do. So I have an equal opportunity to do anything I want to try.

Also, the good old boy networks do not exist. Men aren’t given advantages just because they are men.


I don’t have to split my time between a man, children and doing what I want to do. I don’t have to feel guilty if I chose work over children. If a woman wants to devote full time to making money, she can easily do so and not feel guilty.

The second is harder to explain. It has to do with a sense of security. Here, I can get all the attention and positive affirmation without the down side. I don’t have to worry about unwanted attention. I do not have to fear the male’s greater physical strength

The last thing that comes to mind is that the little girl inside can be a beautiful as she likes. All the wishes, “if only I…” can come true. We can be as glamorous, sexy, trampish or, whatever as we wish. We are not judged by men on looks we can’t do anything about.

Do others, men and women agree with me? Disagree? What about men, why do you come here?

Jen

I come here because in SL there is no affirmative action, sexism, or religion based preference except what we create and bring with us.

In short, I come here because of equality, a semi-escape from the real world.

It sounds pretty good (I'm not a woman so I can't comment on much of it with authority) but I would disagree with one point.

There *are* "good old boy" networks in SL.

And probably some "good old girl" ones too.

You've struck upon something I really love about SL. I've often wondered how women feel about it, but to me, it feels better to be a part of a world where women, and indeed anyone, can be whatever and whomever they want to be (I hope that's how people feel, but it's how I perceive it). I'm kind of idealistic I guess, but the thought of anyone having less freedom than me disturbs me. A while back I was asked what I believe in, and after reflecting, I answered, "humanity". It's always amazing to witness what people can be and do unfettered.

Ow. Mh tngh.

Phee
(Teeth firmly planted)

I'm sorry, but what the hell?? This starts out being a thread about positive things, about why we like SL, why we came here, why we think it's great-- a valid question, I thought-- and instantly somebody has to inject a personal agenda argument into it?

There was nothing sexist about the original post. Women do have disadvantages in the real world, because of our (usually, but not always) lesser size and strength, because we've been conditioned over the generations to choose family over a career.... the whole idea of the post was celebrating the fact that those differences don't exist here, that this is a great world for everybody, regardless.

Even if you ignore that aspect, it's still a valid question... the traditional 'videogame audience' is largely male, so it's kinda cool to have a virtual world which is equally popular with women, and it's valid to ask why that is.

Why does somebody always have to turn these threads into a personal argument? How about, if you think it's a sexist question, go elsewhere and don't post? I'm sorry to rant, but I'm so sick of seeing every other thread in these forums turn into a flamefest.

Personally, I enjoy SL for a lot of the same reasons as the OP... this world has opportunities for everybody, where you go and how well you do is based on your imagination and your talent, not your connections or your gender or any other thing that influences RL opportunities.

I enjoy it because I love being able to do so many things that aren't possible in the real world... and because I love having the tools to turn anything from my imagination into reality. I love being able to meet so many people who I'd never have a chance to meet in RL.

And yes, I enjoy SL because I love being able to look as good as I want, being able to change my look in an instant, being able to look completely different from my RL self.

And I totally understand the 'security' thing... it's great to have control here, to not have to worry about my personal safety. That's equally true for anyone here, male or female, but it's particularly significant for women, I think.

Why I like SL?

I have a job with some seriously messed up working hours. As a result I don't really have much of a RL social life. But since I am someone who enjoys the company of others , Second Life provides me with a reasonable alternative.

Sure I realise this is not RL , but the people you interact and socialise with are very real.

And because with SL I made friends all over the world , there are always people online to hang out with , goof around with , talk to , whatever.

And I also love meeting new people , another thing SL is very good for.
It's a great way to broaden your knowledge of other people's cultures , ideals , ideas and so on as well.

Not a woman here. But certainly a wrinkle that SL provides is that in addition to being able to actually play either gender, you can be both genders, neither gender, or even just a piece of furniture (literally) if you want. Kinda shakes up what "sexism" would mean here.

"I now pronounce you .. uh ... mechanical spider and ... uh .... table lamp?"

Hehehe that made me chuckle

Jonas, I am truly sorry if you have been discriminated against. Discrimination is wrong, regardless of its disguise. I am glad you have found a haven from discrimination here in SL.

Ilianexsi is correct. You can believe me or not, I never intended this to be a sexist thread. I am not “yelling rape in the mall” I only posted some thoughts, I felt would be of interest to others as well.

Jen

In SL, I definately fall into the "Both" category. However, I have also seen AVs that clearly aren't "None" but fall into "Other" when it comes to gender. As what's been touched on previously in this thread, I think it's not just that there are no gender limitations, but that gender has very little meaning in SL. One of my close SL friends is currently working on a couple AVs that would probably drive Freud and Dr. Ruth insane.

Now granted, this fact of SL life isn't readily apparent before someone plays, but it may very well be a factor in many staying.

Personally, I came for the Social aspects, but I've found that the creative environment suits me, and I've been building more and more as of late.

OW! Meth, thoo

(teeth also planted)

--post removed by op--

Well. That's kind of not true. But in the interests of preserving the intent of the original poster, I would encourage you to start another thread on the issue, because otherwise this is going to turn ugly and the original point - "why do women like SL?" - will be subsumed.

Actually I'm going to delete any inflammatory portion of my posts here.

I would contend that for that group (my 'group' in fact), every month has been a special month, and we've always had, unconscionably, 'special' rights.

Fair enough.

Some companies have an unofficial policy to tell those applicants who are qualified but have "personality" issues that the reason that they weren't hired was because of reverse discrimination.

I don't know if that's the case with you, Jonas. For all I know, you could be the long suffering victim of your gender and skin tone but a fantastic person nevetheless; just giving you something to think about.

I'd say the latter. Ive never been described with anything but praise in my work, even when told 'I don't want you working with my mother because you're a cracker boy' at one of the nursing homes I worked at.

But thats neither here nor there in regards to the thread topic. Can we stick to that rather than make this a thread about sexism etc, which was not the OP's intent.

Don't make me laugh.
I love how when people that come from a privileged situation (White, Male, Christian, whatever) start seeing others getting the same privileges, suddenly, they're being opressed. You experience a couple of instances of prejudice because you're white, and now there's a conspiracy. Guess what. This happens to people all over the world, all the time, every day and has done for centuries. You finally recieve one iota of what women, people of colour, muslims, jews, hindus etc., etc. have to put up with every single day of their lives and it's not fair?
Come on. If you are so offended by this, then work for equality. Don't bitch and whine because someone finds something positive in SL. Don't you see that "I don't want you working with my mother because you're a cracker boy" is just as offensive and negative as you basically saying "All you women, bitching about sexism"?

and to get back on topic, yes. SL is amazing when it comes to equality.
Our successes and failures are determined by us and us alone.
If we are good at the job, if we put out quality content, if we get along with others well and can create a solid core of people, all working together, then we become successful. Regardless of sex, skin colour, religion, political affiliation.
It's all on us and those with talent, drive and ambition will succeed on their own merits and not because of who their parents were or what sex they happened to be born.

This is a good thing

How is it me saying 'all these women bitching about sexism' when Everywhere I've worked women were actually treated better?

I do work for equality, and right now that means working to strip away special priviledges given to everyone. No you don't get the job based on how you were born, you get one based on qualifications. THATS what I fight for, and I don't care who is the one being held aloft for the job by virtue of race or sex. ANY discrimination is bad.

I have never come from a priviledged situation, my family started poor.

I find the lack of inherent racism and sexism that the US government practices a good thing for men in SL. Why is it offensive that I find soemthing positive?

Well I came into the game because I had friends from another game come in and play and I didn't want to lose contact. I stayed because of alot of the points that others have mentioned. The two biggest being Equality and Creation. I have never played a game with as much openess of use of your imagination as this game has. You can make anything your mind thinks of (well almost) and to me it's alot of fun to do that.

I have made alot of new friends since I have been in this world, and have had alot of fun and excitement. I for one will be around in SL for a long time to come.

Then your jobs are a rarity. Look at the statistics. Women from all walks of life, in all wage brackets... thats EVERY SINGLE ONE... make less than men for the same job. Every time.




Lack of... wait. WHAT? You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you're joking.