I need wise advice from real adults

Ok, here goes some personal disclosure. I am REALLY a 25 year old female. I have recently discovered a couple of my good friends are... very underage.

What the hell do I do? I feel a little bit violated and a little scared because as I thought I was talking to adults, we talked about adult subject matter.

Well sweetie, "good" friends don't lie to you. Harsh, but true. I'd be very upset and would probably tell them to go back to the teen grid and stay away from you. Think it over and go with your heart.

uh...what were you doing with them that you would feel violated?

If they were good people and you got along with them then so what? Being "underage" is usually just a legal issue more than anything else. Other cultures let 40+ yr. old men marry 14 year old girls.

Unless they're like 12 then age ain't nuffin but a number!

well, i suppose it depends upon how underage they are and what you got up to with them inworld.
personally, if i learned that someone i knew was underage (meaning a teenager) i dont think i would really care.

Did she say they lied to her about their age? Apparently they were truthful...otherwise how would she know?

It's a little known fact that just like many women in SL are men...many people in SL aren't 18!

But... now you've posted this for the world to see..... DAnger Will Danger!

SOME WOMEN!

Don't go spreading hysteria!

You need to turn them in to LL.

They're good friends so it will be tough, but consider these two things. One, they weren't honest with you about their age (until now) so they're not that good of friends. Two, you can't be friends with them in same way any longer.

I'm assuming that you aren't asking for advice on how to deal with the people but rather punish them for their violation.

If they are good friends and they are behaving as such, why would you want them punished for something that LL has allowed with their lack of business prudence?

Just remember that you made the decision to discuss "adult subject matter" with a total stranger and should've known that people on the net aren't always who they say they are. Would you report someone for speaking as a male when actually a woman?

If you simply don't know how to explain to them how you feel, and can't politely decline further adult discussions, you can always mute them and/or ignore them.

Nothing like ratting out your friends...

Unless they lied about their age, which the op doesn't mention, then you can't say they were dishonest about their age.

I wasn't asking for a JUDGEMENT of what I CHOOSE to do in SL. Don't get all high and mighty with me. We all know what goes on in SL. This isn't some innocent land of happy honest people and innocent conversation. I was asking.. what if it were you, what would YOU do?

I don't want to go reporting people that I considered friends, but if I'm going to get my ass banned or suspended for this, then GUESS WHAT.. LL here I come.

Oh, and yes, they LIED to me about their ages. And I found out from "X" that they are NOT how old they say they are.

The only thing you can do: Abuse Report. Explain in the report exactly what you stated here, that you were misled to believe they were adults, but that you've since found out otherwise. "Avatar A said s/he was 20, but is really 17, and I know this because of X. Avatar B said s/he was 21, but is really 15, and I know this because of Y. "

A

In all honesty I would do nothing.

Having been in that position not too long ago, on a cosmic scale, I can sympathize with them. Thankfully I was considerably over 18 when SL came along, but if I hadn't been, I would have joined anyways. And yes, I would have lied if someone had asked me my age, because I'm not stupid. I would only admit the truth if I trusted someone /completely/, and maybe not even then. Just being a "friend" wouldn't be enough for me to take the risk.

I value maturity far more than how many years you've been consuming oxygen. I'll turn in an underage person if they act like a griefing nitwit. But I'll abuse report an adult who does it too. If an underage person acts more mature than 9/10ths of SL, why should I care?

It may seem harsh, but the best thing to do is to report them. I had to report an acquaintance who was _extremely_ underage (and probably a genius based on his skill at scripting). The action taken is that they are moved to the teen grid, which is a place suitable for them.

you need to turn them in. sorry. better luck in detemining adults from juvies in your future.

Did they admit it yet? How do you know to trust X? How old is X? How can you tell for sure?

If you're mad about it, ask the sources of your issue. Get them to admit to it and call them on it.

Ratting them out to LL won't do any good anyway.

Otherwise if you got along with them then who cares?

"X" being a source that is not a person or an avatar. "X" being something my own eyes have seen.

Do what you feel is right, you don't have to report them if you don't want too, no actions will be taken against you as it is LL's job to keep the kids out, not you.

Thats the answer I was looking for. Thank you brendan.

Yep. It is still hearsay until they admit it. In fact X is technically violating the disclosure clause in the TOS. (Up Yours Danny Boy). If it bothers you, ask them. Asong asthere is no Sexual contact, you shouldn't be in any trouble. If there is, ascertain what their true ages are, if you can. If you can't, at the very least unfriend and avoid them, and if you wish AR them. If they aren't adults they don't belong here.

EDIT I just saw your post regarding X so disregard most of my post.....

This is making less and less sense every time.

Is X their birth certificates or other form of ID? Have they admitted to anything yet?

Like I said before. Confront them on it. If they've been your friend then there's no reason to be sinister about it and rat them out...especially when you don't have any conclusive evidence yet.

I can understand that, but you weren't to know. It sounds like you've struck up a strong friendship with these kids (thinking they were adults) so to discard or report them would be as devastating for you as it would them. As an adult however, I think you have to put yourself in their parents' shoes. How would you feel if they were your kids, talking about what they talked about with a 25 year old woman?

If you've become close friends and they're within months of their eighteenth birthdays I'd be reluctant to do much beyond have a word about expectations of their conduct for the next few months. Your use of the word "very" before "underage" suggests otherwise though, and certainly if they're under 16, I'd try to have a gentle talk with them, explaining your dilemma, and offering to get them an escort to the teen grid. No abuse reports or animosity have to be involved (I'm sure if you cadged hold of Torley at one of his Grasmere meetings he'd happily assist), and even though they might alt up and return to the MG...well, at least you tried to do the right thing and that's the most important thing.

Well, apparently, they're not *that* good of friends.

How many here have done something thing they were not supposed to do, because of age limits. Smoked, drank, had sex the list goes on. There are a lot of things worse they can do than come onto the adult grid. It is not our job to police them. let them take their chances. But one thing I would do after admitting knowledge of their age is to put them on my ignore list.

If they are have become close friends and you still want to chat to them then you can do that in many other places without fear of being kicked off.