Not R/P, just RUDE!

Hello everyone

I thought I would post this here because whilst not exactly a question I feel it does pose a few.
The other day I was in a store which has a number of lucky chairs. There was one other avatar in there whose name began with C, and she was walking round and round the chairs. I had seen her at a couple of other places with lucky chairs, so I guessed she was looking for one with her initial. Sure enough there was one with a C. So I said 'Hey, the C is over here'. No answer. So I said, 'Hello? the chair with C is here'. No answer. She looked about a bit more, but before she could sit down the letter had changed. I guessed that the area was rezzing a little slowly for her. So I said, 'Never mind, there'll be more'. No answer. Finally, thinking I may be a bit dim, I thought, oh perhaps she doesn't speak English. So I clicked on her profile. AHA!! Yes, she does speak English. (only English, so it says) But it also says 'do not IM me, you will not get an answer. My master will IM you'. Nothing about polite conversation though. So this got me thinking. Obviously she was very rude to ignore me. She was out in a public place, and her profile actively encourages people to visit various places, with which she is connected, to dance. Normally, I think you'll agree, a social activity. I was amused but also rather annoyed that she and her associates feel that they can inflict their tedious 'roleplay' on people who don't share their adolescent view of the world. So I IM'ed her 'master'!! And I'm afraid I reminded him of a few home truths. Specifically, he is not a vampire, he doesn't live in a castle (guessing, but come on!!) he does not own 'slaves' and I will continue to politely address people and don't feel I should read all through their profile before making a KIND and HELPFUL suggestion!!
Now, I am not saying that people shouldn't role play, although there is usually good psychiatric help available, but they should keep it as private as is possible in SL.

ps. It's a shame she didn't win the chair prize. She looked as if she needed some regular clothes! LOL

Vampire? I'd have guessed Gor, specifically after your "needed clothes" comment. Those are called silks. The various colors in some Gorean sects represent the level of training.

The reason she isn't allowed to talk to you is, in some ways, akin to cultures that don't allow eye contact with a customer at a store, or those that put money on the counter, rather than in your hand.. it's a matter of respect... for you.

Now, I don't live the lifestyle and I'll be the first to admit I don't get the attraction, entirely. But I respect the other person's right to RP or live in RL however they damn well please.

All this because someone didn't answer you? Hehehe

Give me a break!

While you wanted to help, and I invite you to keep doing that, you started talking to someone uninvited and now you "complain" 'cause you did not get an answer. You even decided to be a "pain in the a.." and IM the "master".

And you say someone "inflicted a tedious roleplay" on you? Come on, don't be silly. You've been ignored in the first place, nobody ever tried to inflict anything on you.

I like to help people, but if they don't want or don't appreciate that, I let them go and that's about it.

He called himself a vampire, I didn't. I said he wasn't one. And there is simply no excuse for rudeness. As for the whole gor/silks/training shite, well, those are what we grown ups call pixels. They're not real. She isn't 'in training' she's probably a fat bloke in Arkansas!!
I don't have to respect anything unless it is deserving of respect. Virtual sexplay is not.

Thanks for clarifying your original post's murkiness on the vampire subject.

What exactly is the question now?

I do not consider that I was a pain in the asterisk at all! As a parent (in real life) I know the importance of instilling good manners by gentle repetition. I think it's a shame that the juvenile behaviour of this silly avatar might taint my opinion of other similarly (un)dressed avs.
Manners are important. Someone has to instigate a conversation. Are we all to wait to be introduced by a mutual friend? How ridiculous that would be. To make a friendly helpful comment and be ignored is very unpleasant, and these people clearly need some instruction in how to behave.

Well, one would be, how do these people function with only a quarter brain between them?!

Pixieplumb

Sl is a funny place ...... regardless of WHAT people would like to be, their view to RP is very serious and some hold that RP right through their whole time in SL.

If your a brit why not pop over to www.sluk.info

*grin* ..... shameless plug there

Marty

Probably best you ask them that (and wear an anti-orbit when you do). Residents can't answer that one for you, as it's mostly supposition on your part. Did you have an actual question for the Residents? Or was it merely a rant?

You call this 'inflicting roleplay' on you? Come on, she just didn't talk to you. That is not 'inflicting' anything. It's not very polite, but it's not like all "grown ups" are polite. It's not like she dragged you kicking and screaming to participate in some bloodletting ceremony. Or even started kneeling to you.



Well, see, here's the thing. She is not a child, and you are not her parent. Her master is not your child, and you are not his parent. You were not parenting, it is not your place to 'instill good manners'. The girl just didn't answer you, while you decided to butt in instead of minding your own business. In my book, that makes your manners at least as bad as hers. It is none of your business what kind of rules (for instance not speaking to others) people choose to impose on each other in SL roleplay as long as they are not actively harassing you.

A bit of a rant, yeah. But nicely spelt, I thought! But it is discouraging to be helpful or kindly and have it rejected. It wasn't like I was inviting her to some ghastly feminist workshop, was it? Mind you, that's a thought!!

i think it was just rude that you kept bugging her though it was obvious that she don´t want to talk to you. well some people think whats good for them is good for everyone...

right pixie?

This post is much more rude than anything you described in your original post. For what ever reason the woman did not wish to interact with you. YOU were rude by continuing to press the issue. Now you compound YOUR rudeness with insults. You talk in another post about teaching your child manners, did you forget "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything." ?

As for the roleplay, sexplay, gor, vampire fantasies, it is how they escape from the stresses of real life. No one is harmed, no one is forced to join in, so where do you get off saying it is not deserving of respect?

The thing about SL, at least for me, is the proverbial good news, and bad news.

The bad news: I sometimes run into people who won't engage in conversation (or worse) do engage in conversation and I rue the moment of greeting.

The good news: I sometimes run into people who are absolutely positively NOTHING like me and I get some insight into forms of RP or actual RL lifestyles.

For me, it's a learning experience. Sometimes those lessons are harsh; sometimes they're enlightening or enjoyable or outright hilarious.

The bottom line, I guess, is if I find I'm somewhere --or with someone-- whose behavior isn't my cup of tea, I can either mute, TP out or just use my powers of selective hearing and tune them out.

tbh i don`t respond to much public chat either unless it`s something normal(like ur case) as most of the time it endsup in "hi, wanna have sex?"

agree that she could have said "thx" but learned that moral and manners alot of ppl miss when they are totally anonymous heh

Like green vegetables and regular check ups? No, she was rude. She was in a public place and all she had to do was say 'I don't want to talk' or even 'I am not permitted to talk'.
As I said, in private they may do as they please. She was in public. She wore no label or group tag to indicate her state of feeble muteness. Like I said, probably 'she' is a fat bloke in Arkansas, and her 'master' is likely a spotty teenager in his parents' basement. Isn't SL great!!

PixiePlumb:

-- she didn't respond when you spoke.

-- You took it personally.

-- You IM'd her Master to set him straight and be sure he knows that his RP fantasy isn't real. (He might not have been clear on that before.)

-- Then you come over here to tell us all how offended you were that someone had the nerve to not respond to your unasked for help.

-- In the course of this short thread you've insulted their collective intelligence, insinuated they need psychiatric aid, implied that you're entitled to school total strangers who have no connection to you in manners and made clear that because YOU don't understand the value in their particular role-play relationship, they should therefore knock it off.

-- You've suggested that she is a "fat bloke in Arkansas," insulting both fat people and Southern people in one phrase and going well beyond what you could possibly know to put one more layer on your righteous indignation.

And she was the one who was "rude?" Uh huh.

Even in real life, no one is obligated to be drawn into an unsolicited conversation with a stranger. It works the same way in SL. You made an overture, she chose not to take advantage of it, and that's her right. She doesn't have to justify it to you and she certainly doesn't have to rethink her SL experience so that it meets your satisfaction

"I don't have to respect anything unless it is deserving of respect." Nice attitude, that will get you far. And just what does deserve your respect? What yard stick do you use to measure with? Do you pull this yard stick out every time you meet someone in SL? I respect people's right to privacy, I respect peoples right to chose to talk to me or not, I respect peoples roles, I respect some one that was obviously doing a good job of playing the role they chose to play. If you can't respect that, I have no respect for you.

Well honey, I'm English, and we don't learn our parenting skills from Walt Disney movies!! (Bambi included!)


It is not viewed as harmless by childcare professionals, and I am one. It is fantasies like these that frequently lead to abuse. These fantasies can indeed be very harmful, as they encourage abusers to see women (and often children) as sexual, disposable playthings.

Wasn't Bambi's mother shot in that movie?

Very sad.

On point, your credentials, while quite impressive, I'm sure, have no bearing on what two adults are doing with their time.

Any grief felt by the OP was "Self Inflicted". (Not using grief in the SL term). She ignored you, you should have chalked it up to rudeness and went on your way. . Or if you read her profile, and I am a habitual profile er, saw what she was about, and if you found it ridiculous, just chuckled to yourself and went on your way. But thanks for amusing me this morning. Just womdering: PixiePlumb, what sort of establishment is Pixie's Place? I hope it isn't involving any Fairies, or Imps or similar roleplay. Or are you one of those Do as I say not as I do, chidcare professionals.

#1 I am not your honey. Who said anything about Disney?

#2 We had this discussion last week on these forums.

#3 We are not talking about children, we are talking about adults. As a small child I played Cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, and army. At the ripe old age of 10 I would regularly take a real firearm out to the creek for some totally non adult supervised target shooting. Now at the age of 38, I have never killed anyone, never had the desire to kill anyone. But according to your theories of child care, I should be a homicidal manic now.

#4 You throw around "fat bloke from Arkansas" like it is some kind of insult. What does that make you? A bored housewife form Cornwell with bad teeth and delusions of grandeur?

Talking to strangers is not a universally accepatble thing in RL and this is probably reflected in SL. In UK it's increasingly seen as something done by social misfits with mental health problems or by the elderly who have an involuntary reflex of commenting on the weather!

So I conclude that all those SL-ers who say 'bad lag here today' must be over 65!!!LOL

And yet another insult. I hope you don't teach your kids by example.

Oh, and I've just taken the liberty to correct your following statement:



You're very welcome, I assume you didn't mean to sound completely ignorant when it comes to the different views held by childcare professionals and others more likely to have expertise in adult psychology.

She didnt answer you? and you got so mad that you IMd her "Master" and insulted him? And now she has no complete brain because she didnt feel like answering you? Not only that, you add insult because she doesnt dress to your liking?
Excuse me, but this sound like you're angry because you couldnt manipulate her as you wished.
You cant force your "politeness" to anybody.
You can try to be friendly but this is a 2 way road, and if there's no reply, well, that's the end of the road.
Your rights finish just where her rights start, and her right was to answer or not.
To me you're going over and stomping on her rights.

Just my opinion