Fed up

Where has everyone gone whom I knew?

I look round sometimes and see tumbleweed ... anyone else ever feel like that? 'Friends' who are there when there's something to see or do but you stop and take count and think ... "when was the last time you and I ever had a meaningful conversation?"

So many of the people I was close to and cared for have left, and I mourn them. I wonder where my friends have gone and realise I have a list full of new people (to me, but also mainly young avatars).

Am I alone in that?

You can say hello to your neighbour now and then!

I'm still at the "It's all new and exciting" stage and I'm not finding enough time to say hello to everyone and get told off for that but I'm sure it will change in time.

Its the first step to being an old timer in an online place with only a 10% retention rate.

welcome to the club hun.

;_;

Oh please. It's your own fault if you don't have friends in SL. It's probably more your attitude than anything wrong with SL or LL.

I consistently make new friends and have old friends dissappear. It's just like RL only sped up! I usually have the same basic number of people to BS with in-world at any given time.

I'm not a big socialite but I also don't spend all my time hiding in the corner of an empty sim. What's my secret? I don't expect anything from anyone so I'm never dissappointed.

Read it again.

Where are the people I USED to know.

/me crosses squeezey off the list of people to love (well you only play for the money anyway).

Sheesh ... see, the difference here is that I make PROPER deep friendships, and I don't feel the need to bullshit.

But I thank you. You've reminded me not to lower my standards.

LOL Hello neighbour ~waves up the M6

LOL ... well yeah. I always used to think that everything was set in stone when I first started playing ...

Think I'll go learn to make something

Where are the people you used to know IRL? Read my post again.



I don't hang out with whiners anyway.

And what makes you think I play for the money?! You obviously haven't read anything I've ever posted. Pay attention.



Well if those friendships were ACTUALLY deep and NOT bullshit then you'd still be in contact with those people, now, wouldn't you?



You call those standards?! I feel for your ex-deep friends!

Well obviously i haven't been around anywhere near as long as some of you, but i know quite a few people i was close friends with seem to have disappeared and i miss them.

edit: eeek didn't mean to post this post-Squeeze ... just trying to say i know what you mean, even though i'm a relative newbie (when do you stop being a newbie btw?)

Dear Squeezy

MEH

Why bother posting in the first place huh? You're right. I've possibly got you mixed up with someone else with nothing to say and a lot of hot air.

Flame away kiddo, I won't bother responding. No point feeding pigeons.

Oh don't worry hon, let him hijack the thread if he's really that bored

I think you stop being a newb the day you treat others as human beings ... and for some people that was from day one

...yet I manage to keep you pigeons nice and fat!

It's ironic that you call my post a "flame" when I'm actually explaining things to you. Is it because you don't want to hear what I'm saying and want to get attention and pity from the forum crowd?

I'll put it to you in simpler terms. YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE. If you want friends then go get them.

What were you doing when you first met those people you now miss? Why not go do that again? Or maybe the old formula doesn't apply anymore since SL's demographic has changed over time.

How about trying new things and exploring again like we all did when we first started?

If you were really interested in finding a solution you would've done something about it.

Otherwise, cry on!

I know what you're saying hun. I have definitely made some great 'real' friends with SL....but there are more times that I am on and it just seems empty. *sigh* I do make new friends....and I still have fun with SL.... I think one of the problems I run into (and this is as an individual who's made a particular choice)....is I don't get involved in SL romance/relationships. I'm happy with my RL love...I have no need to 'play house' in SL, and soooo many of my good friends have moved on simply because they found SL sweethearts and are quite occupied. Incidentally...a lot of those same friends wind up IM'img me out of the blue to tell me how they are now expereincing serious RL complications from their SL relationships....often times it's the belnding of the 2. I chalk it up to emotional maturity, and knowing where to draw the line in the game.

By staying SL-single...I have kept my good friends...and have a much more open and honest relationship with those folks as a result. I do agree that it's just like RL.....good and true friends are hard to find......and absolutely golden when ya do. Hang in there.... even noobs are human beings... Hell....look me up some time...i'm always happy to have new SL adventures with new cool friends. Tumbleweeds be damned!

Sympathy? Crying?

I think you'll find what I was doing when I met THOSE people was being here a year ago and that those interesting people had to leave for whatever reason.

Perhaps if you weren't clearly so fond of drama and self aggrandisation you might not see non-existant attention seeking in others. This thread says a lot more about you than me by now. Enjoy your thread!!

LOL

Thanks sweetie. I actually have a thing on my pick about starting new things off when jaded ... it's not that tho - it's nice to reminisce and talk to people who remember a different place here yanno?

*edit* oh I am not complaining about noobs ... usually help them out etc and I'm maybe not so smart as you in that I am not SL single ... smiles ... and I surprised a few people by partnering with someone VERY new. Never regretted that for a second

Yeah...there couldn't POSSIBLY be other interesting people out there.



...and yet you keep coming back. If you weren't into attention and drama then why would you post something like this?

The solutions are there, Cherry. But like I said, I don't think you're actually interested in finding a solution to your friend problem but rather into getting some pity off of the "SL sucks now" faction of the forum crowd.

/me feeds the troll some little iced buns and tea ...

In so many ways. The thing is that SL friendship--relationships of any kind, really--have such low "barriers to entry." It's incredibly easy and risk-free to become a Close Personal Friend in-world behind a veil of anonymity and (optionally) an arbitrarily synthetic persona.

But... is it different from other online social media? I honestly don't know. For example, I have close friends I met on IRC a decade ago, but those are surely the exceptions. Is it more true in SL than in other online media? I can dream up "reasons" to explain it, if it is, but I'm not even sure it's true.

In any case, though, I don't see this as a reason to be "Fed up"... it makes the enduring relationships all the more special, and reminders of the potential of each new friend.

Having spoken to Cherry inworld and on here, she's definitely not one of the "SL Sucks Now" faction, I think you're reading her OP in a different light than intended.

Cherry, I'm in the same boat. The friends who still are on are usually AFK when I'm on. I'll send a friends request your way. Perhaps we can get an "oldbie's" group of friends together to become new friends.

A

LOL well ... thanks guys. Whoever wanted a friend thing please do cos although that would be an unintended side effect it's a very welcome one

I agree for the most part except for the idea of being able to form a "close and personal" friendship with someone when you're both anonymous.

All the close friendships I've made online (including my current g/f) ended up moving to RL pretty quick as in phone conversations and planning trips to visit these friends or interact in some way beyond online.

That's why I questioned how deep these friendships the OP was mourning the loss of truly were if they are no longer in contact. I might just take a more serious meaning out of "deep" and "personal" than others but when I have such a bond with someone I make a real effort to keep in touch with them in one form or another and that effort is often reciprocated...thus it being deep and personal!

But yes, people are (in general) easier to talk to in SL than in RL which is part of why it's so popular. Considering how much MORE popular it is now I would think the average person actually interested in meeting people is bound to find at least a few people they have similar interests with!

I"ve watched my friends list turn over about 3 times now and I was born in april 2006. In any event I guess i'm in the not olbie but "semi-oldbie" crowd at this point and I will sent you an invite to my friends list if you like, but be warned I have two modes

1) have absolutely noting to say so

or

2) talk your ear off mode so you have to tell me to shut up

I have no in between, but thanfully my talk your ear off modes are not that common i think i talk/type myself enough on the forum that I haven't got much left to say by the time i go into sl (which could be perceived as a good thing..)

One comment to this.

Not everyone has the ability to take things to RL. I do and most of my really true friends currently here are RL to me too.

I am sick of being personally attacked by someone who does not know me, does not know anything about me and who is continuing to make pat decisions and allegations in a public place.

LOL

I haven't forgotten that submission Wilhelm. Just been mega busy building etc.