What Value Is An SL Marriage, If We Are Allowed ALT's ?

What value is an SL marraige when you can have alts? The same as real world one, sort of. In the context of the reference to alts, at any rate. Yes, you can have an alt and get up to mischief if you want - but don't forget that you can also have a separate mobile phone number, multiple credit cards that your wife doesn't know about and book into hotels under the names "Mr and Mrs Smith" all in real life too if you wish.

You married a guy named "Ridemaster" and you are surprised he sleeps around?

A (the?) big appeal of SL is that you can have and do things that you can't in rl. For some people this actually seems to mean deliberately trying out bad behavior that they would not want to face the consequences of in rl.

At the other end of the spectrum are genuinely decent people who unintentionally find themselves having feelings and getting into situations that hurt others.

You know that's a good point I hadn't considered re: the profiles. I *do* know there are people out there that can't stand seeing others happy, especially if they're not and some get their kicks out of trying to cause trouble.

Think I'll reconsider my profile.

For one thing ..

The internet is a outlet for people unhappy in their RL marriages, Or for those who are happily married but want to pretend like they aren't ..

Why is it surprizing this same pool of people might lead to those who would cheat on a virtual spouse as well?


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The internet is also an outlet for those who aren't happy IRL marriages but claim they are .. but thats a different topic.

In sl they don't even have to pass the "look you straight in the eye and say it" test.

Olias, I'm so sorry this happened to you & empathize with how you are feeling. SL is such a weird place. I have not been involved in a romantic relationship, but have still managed to get my feelings hurt.

I don't understand someone inviting me to be on their friends list then never contacting me even though they get notified whenever I'm online. To me, inviting someone to be on my friends list means I actually want to be friends with that person, not just have them on a list of contacts. Anyway, I overreacted to something that happened with one of them on Friday, and now am thinking about starting over with an alt out of embarrassment. I really never thought I would get so emotional about a game.

o.O

O.o

this thread is starting to concern me..... o.O

Did I miss the SL victims awareness week memo?
With posts like:
SL is bad make me stop make me stop…and…my avatars pretend husband’s alt avatar is typing “mmmmm” with someone else’s avatar that is probably an alt, so lets ban alts and protect the sanctity of SL partnering.
Some people need to have their power cord ripped out of the wall!

i am a walking, talking, multi-faceted talent.

as intended.

LOLOL no. not at all. you are safe.

but now, if you were next to me in RL and you got a little too close.......

i see you've met my evil sister.

damm, if i had to create a new alt every time i put my foot in my mouth and embarrassed myself i'd have 2000 by now.

buck up, swallow hard, and jump back in. it'll pass and you'll laff about it later.

heck, at some point, after you've done #2076 bonehead thing, they'll just start saying "that's just 3Ring" (insert your own name, cuz it wouldn't be fair to blame ME for your stupid moves), and then you can actually get away with a whole lot more. LOL

i used to tell people common sense was my strong point... until i found out they expected performance. now i stress my blonde roots and things are much happier. ha ha ha

That's good advice, 3Ring. I think I'll still lay low for a couple weeks, though. If I uncheck the box that allows particular friends to see when I'm online and check the box in preferences that only allows friends to see my online status, can I be online and hide from everybody?

no matter how well you hide and avoid your usual hangouts, someone on your friends list can access the website 'friends online' link and see who is on.

you are never completely hiding.

also, since you are taking advice..... go online, apologize, and move on with things. you don't solve anything by hiding except dragging out the drama. *bleah*

hell, pay them money and they'll forgive you realy quick. LOL

It might help you to imagine some one else doing whatever it was you did and then imagine forgiving them for it. Then forgive yourself, vow to do better in the future, take the consequences like an adult and move on. (Or I'm perfectly ok with it if you ignore my advise because it sounds like rubbish.)

Maybe his name is just refering to his fine horsemanship abilities - then again........

SL is like a 24x7 Jerry Springer show. Far too much drama and overreaction in my opinion.

Another thought I have about the whole SL partnerships things is this. LL has only defined the concept of an SL partnership, they leave it up to us to define what that is. Could be marriage for some, could be something more like co-habitation for others and maybe even be a business partnership if you want it to be. Part of the problem I think is expectations. Two people partnering should talk about what they are expecting from an SL partnership - if it seems that there is any doubt as to what is OK and where the line gets crossed then a serious rethink is in order. Having said this, the same holds true of RL partnerships too - regardless of what type they are.
Of course this does not prevent betrayals or lies but it might go a long way to stop some of the unhappiness that develops.

..and recently, too.

Suffice it to say that, if honesty, integrity, and communication aren't the 3 most important aspects of your relationship with anyone, the person just is not worth your time and heartache.

Don't allow anyone to pay lip service to them. The world is full of immature people who are nothing more than leeches, preying on other people's feelings and life. If someone whom you care about deeply cannot be genuine and honest, and communicate with you at any time for any reason, then take that as a big red warning sign that you probably need to be looking elsewhere.

There's also "Grass is Greener" syndrome. RL is NEVER like SL, just like the reality is never as good as the infatuation (ie, that "fairytale romance" feeling in the initial stages of a romantic relationship) in RL. The reality of life is that relationships take work. LOTS of work. The initial "fantasy" part is relatively short-lived, and the only way it is maintained throughout the long term is both people caring enough to follow the rules and compromise for the sake of the other.

After a while, there is always the temptation to "play around" (not just males or females specifically, either; it goes both ways) because the grass on the other side of the rule fence ALWAYS looks greener than it really is.