Second Life Forums Archive - RL Illnesses

April Firefly

Idiosyncratic Poster

Join date: 3 Aug 2004

Posts: 1,253

07-04-2005 10:48

From: Cristiano Midnight

Excellent post, April. There does reach a point where you just do need to move on and let go. You can dwell on the bad things that have happened to you, or look for ways to contribute positively. Thanks for starting that thread about the halfway mark - it was interesting to stop and think about since I have been in SL for such a long time. It's always good to reflect back while continuing to move forward.

Thank you Cris. Your post was very nice, reminded me of some other stuff I left. I love roaming.

I invite everyone to post good positive experiences over there. Sometimes just thinking about the good stuff clears out a lot of negativity.

_____________________

From: Billybob Goodliffe

the truth is overrated

From: Argent Stonecutter

The most successful software company in the world does a piss-poor job on all these points. Particularly the first three. Why do you expect Linden Labs to do any better?

Yes, it's true, I have a blog now!

Buster Peel

Spat the dummy.

Join date: 7 Feb 2005

Posts: 1,242

07-04-2005 12:46

From: Claire Glitterbuck

I started this thread to discuss serious, actual, rl illnesses and conditions. I'm not arguing your points, but I am disagreeing with the fact that you posted them on this thread in this manner.

You've missed the point, then. I'm sorry I am not a victim of any debilitating condition or disease, which I guess disqualifies me from eligibility for posting in this thread. However I would like to point out that I am accusing the same people you are accusing. You accuse people of being insensitive to RL illnesses, I explain their behavior (NOT excuse, explain) by pointing out that many of them are immature, and therefore thoughtless.

Or is this just a thread for people to bask in their victimness? Guess I don't belong here in that case.

Siggy Romulus

DILLIGAF

Join date: 22 Sep 2003

Posts: 5,711

07-04-2005 18:25

I suffer from chronic Ass-A-Hole-ism, and explosive diarrhea of the brain.

I also had my serious glad removed at a fairly young age.

_____________________

The Second Life forums are living proof as to why it's illegal for people to have sex with farm animals.

From: Jesse Linden

I, for one, am highly un-helped by this thread

Olympia Rebus

Muse of Chaos

Join date: 22 Feb 2004

Posts: 1,831

07-04-2005 19:17

From: Siggy Romulus

... and explosive diarrhea of the brain.

Gray Matter Splatter?

Hope it's not contagious...

_____________________

Vudu Suavage

Feral Twisted Torus

Join date: 27 Jul 2004

Posts: 402

07-04-2005 20:45

I haven't been on the forums that much lately, but it does seem more peaceful than I've ever seen it around here (I hope those two things aren't too closely related). For most of the time I've been in SL, these forums have been the most vicious I've seen on the web: sad, when you consider that so many others are dominated by adolescents, whereas SL is supposedly all-adult. Sure, there's plenty of room for improvement, but the sky is hardly falling--seems to me like the air's getting clearer, if anything.

Thank you, though, Claire, for starting this thread; it's good for those who aren't aware already to realize that a lot of SLers are wounded in one way or another. For varied reasons, we've all chosen to vent our social impulses in a way that avoids actual proximity to other human beings. Some are inhibited by physical issues, others by mental or emotional conditions, or more subtle bents of personality or experience. For many, it's all of the above. Whoever's lashing out at you, they're probably just as vulnerable as you are. If you're the lasher, chances are your words are cutting someone.

I'm not saying we should coddle each other, but I agree with April and others that building a more positive exchange will do more good than trying to root out the "bad guys."

_____________________

Cthulhu, spiders, and other artfully crafted creatures are available at Gods & Monsters in Zoe, as well as Limbo and Taco.

Cocoanut Koala

Coco's Cottages

Join date: 7 Feb 2005

Posts: 7,903

07-04-2005 20:55

"I'm not saying we should coddle each other, but I agree with April and others that building a more positive exchange will do more good than trying to root out the 'bad guys.'"

I agree with that whole-heartedly.

coco

Katja Marlowe

Registered User

Join date: 15 Apr 2005

Posts: 421

07-05-2005 10:22

From: Chip Midnight

My post was not ranting about the forums Jeffrey. I believe that a mental illness does not absolve someone of their responsibility for the tone in which ideas are exchanged which was relevant to the original post. As for your post linked above, I pretty much agree that tolerance is a good thing and that it's wonderful that there's support available for people who have difficulties. Having said that, I treat people as rational adults who should be able to handle criticism and differences of opinion. I don't make assumptions about people's mental health. That means I won't write off someone's opinion as being the result of an illness, but it also means I won't give anyone a free pass which would require me to assume they have one. Like I said in my first post, it goes both ways.

Chip,

I agree with you. And I will give some of my personal experience to back this up. I, myself, have PTSD, depression, anxiety and some other ones that I am not comfortable discussing. However, if I say or do something, it is my responsibility. I can't blame the fact that I'm exceedingly anxious today and went off Zoloft. That's bullshit frankly. If I feel I can't post in a rational manner, I won't post at all. If someone calls me on something I say, I think about it and if I feel that yes, I was at fault, I apologize, and take responsibility. If I feel that they are reading me wrong I will ask that they not make this about me, but about the issue at hand. This is what is right to do, regardless of a mental disability or not.

I have a cousin who has *thinks, probably won't get them all* ADD/HD, personality disorder, schizoid tendencies, and yeah I'm forgetting more of them. He's my age, and in the early 80s was on heavy doses of Ritalin before the age of 10. You can tell. He robbed a bingo hall last year, while people were playing Bingo. He's currently serving jail time. Do I think he should be? Hell yeah. He did a lot of crank too, do I think that this is okay? or justifiable? Hell no.

No matter what, yeah Chip I agree with you, you cannot use your past, your current, illnesses, setbacks WHATEVER, as excuses for your behavior. Reasons, yes. Excuses no.

*fades back to watch from her land without Zoloft*

Katja Marlowe

Registered User

Join date: 15 Apr 2005

Posts: 421

07-05-2005 10:24

From: Claire Glitterbuck

I'd like to thank everyone for their supportive comments. I'm truly touched, and don't feel quite so alone now.

I'd like to point out that I'm not making excuses for myself or for anyone. We're each ultimately responsible for our own actions and our own decisions. However, I AM trying to raise awareness.

While the internet in general is an amazing means of communication (in fact, I met my late husband online in 1988, we were married almost 14 years when he died), you simply DO NOT KNOW who is behind the other keyboard.

It could be someone with a medical condition, it could be someone with a mental condition, it could be someone who's had a really sucky day, it could be someone who gets their rocks off in various spiteful ways, it could be someone who is truly reaching out a helping hand. The point is, you simply DO NOT KNOW.

Nobody here is in a position to "diagnose" anyone else. Nobody is really in a position to judge anyone else. Because you DO NOT KNOW. That being the case, all that I'm asking is that we try to be gentle with each other, and try not to make hurtful comments.

Now, somebody stop me before I start singing "Kumbaya".

Excellent post Claire!

I agree.

Chip Midnight

ate my baby!

Join date: 1 May 2003

Posts: 10,231

07-05-2005 10:54

Thanks for your input Katja

_____________________

My other hobby:
www.live365.com/stations/chip_midnight

RL Illnesses
April Firefly Idiosyncratic Poster Join date: 3 Aug 2004 Posts: 1,253	07-04-2005 10:48 From: Cristiano Midnight Excellent post, April. There does reach a point where you just do need to move on and let go. You can dwell on the bad things that have happened to you, or look for ways to contribute positively. Thanks for starting that thread about the halfway mark - it was interesting to stop and think about since I have been in SL for such a long time. It's always good to reflect back while continuing to move forward. Thank you Cris. Your post was very nice, reminded me of some other stuff I left. I love roaming. I invite everyone to post good positive experiences over there. Sometimes just thinking about the good stuff clears out a lot of negativity. _____________________ From: Billybob Goodliffe the truth is overrated From: Argent Stonecutter The most successful software company in the world does a piss-poor job on all these points. Particularly the first three. Why do you expect Linden Labs to do any better? Yes, it's true, I have a blog now!
Buster Peel Spat the dummy. Join date: 7 Feb 2005 Posts: 1,242	07-04-2005 12:46 From: Claire Glitterbuck I started this thread to discuss serious, actual, rl illnesses and conditions. I'm not arguing your points, but I am disagreeing with the fact that you posted them on this thread in this manner. You've missed the point, then. I'm sorry I am not a victim of any debilitating condition or disease, which I guess disqualifies me from eligibility for posting in this thread. However I would like to point out that I am accusing the same people you are accusing. You accuse people of being insensitive to RL illnesses, I explain their behavior (NOT excuse, explain) by pointing out that many of them are immature, and therefore thoughtless. Or is this just a thread for people to bask in their victimness? Guess I don't belong here in that case.
Siggy Romulus DILLIGAF Join date: 22 Sep 2003 Posts: 5,711	07-04-2005 18:25 I suffer from chronic Ass-A-Hole-ism, and explosive diarrhea of the brain. I also had my serious glad removed at a fairly young age. _____________________ The Second Life forums are living proof as to why it's illegal for people to have sex with farm animals. From: Jesse Linden I, for one, am highly un-helped by this thread
Olympia Rebus Muse of Chaos Join date: 22 Feb 2004 Posts: 1,831	07-04-2005 19:17 From: Siggy Romulus ... and explosive diarrhea of the brain. Gray Matter Splatter? Hope it's not contagious... _____________________
Vudu Suavage Feral Twisted Torus Join date: 27 Jul 2004 Posts: 402	07-04-2005 20:45 I haven't been on the forums that much lately, but it does seem more peaceful than I've ever seen it around here (I hope those two things aren't too closely related). For most of the time I've been in SL, these forums have been the most vicious I've seen on the web: sad, when you consider that so many others are dominated by adolescents, whereas SL is supposedly all-adult. Sure, there's plenty of room for improvement, but the sky is hardly falling--seems to me like the air's getting clearer, if anything. Thank you, though, Claire, for starting this thread; it's good for those who aren't aware already to realize that a lot of SLers are wounded in one way or another. For varied reasons, we've all chosen to vent our social impulses in a way that avoids actual proximity to other human beings. Some are inhibited by physical issues, others by mental or emotional conditions, or more subtle bents of personality or experience. For many, it's all of the above. Whoever's lashing out at you, they're probably just as vulnerable as you are. If you're the lasher, chances are your words are cutting someone. I'm not saying we should coddle each other, but I agree with April and others that building a more positive exchange will do more good than trying to root out the "bad guys." _____________________ Cthulhu, spiders, and other artfully crafted creatures are available at Gods & Monsters in Zoe, as well as Limbo and Taco.
Cocoanut Koala Coco's Cottages Join date: 7 Feb 2005 Posts: 7,903	07-04-2005 20:55 "I'm not saying we should coddle each other, but I agree with April and others that building a more positive exchange will do more good than trying to root out the 'bad guys.'" I agree with that whole-heartedly. coco
Katja Marlowe Registered User Join date: 15 Apr 2005 Posts: 421	07-05-2005 10:22 From: Chip Midnight My post was not ranting about the forums Jeffrey. I believe that a mental illness does not absolve someone of their responsibility for the tone in which ideas are exchanged which was relevant to the original post. As for your post linked above, I pretty much agree that tolerance is a good thing and that it's wonderful that there's support available for people who have difficulties. Having said that, I treat people as rational adults who should be able to handle criticism and differences of opinion. I don't make assumptions about people's mental health. That means I won't write off someone's opinion as being the result of an illness, but it also means I won't give anyone a free pass which would require me to assume they have one. Like I said in my first post, it goes both ways. Chip, I agree with you. And I will give some of my personal experience to back this up. I, myself, have PTSD, depression, anxiety and some other ones that I am not comfortable discussing. However, if I say or do something, it is my responsibility. I can't blame the fact that I'm exceedingly anxious today and went off Zoloft. That's bullshit frankly. If I feel I can't post in a rational manner, I won't post at all. If someone calls me on something I say, I think about it and if I feel that yes, I was at fault, I apologize, and take responsibility. If I feel that they are reading me wrong I will ask that they not make this about me, but about the issue at hand. This is what is right to do, regardless of a mental disability or not. I have a cousin who has thinks, probably won't get them all ADD/HD, personality disorder, schizoid tendencies, and yeah I'm forgetting more of them. He's my age, and in the early 80s was on heavy doses of Ritalin before the age of 10. You can tell. He robbed a bingo hall last year, while people were playing Bingo. He's currently serving jail time. Do I think he should be? Hell yeah. He did a lot of crank too, do I think that this is okay? or justifiable? Hell no. No matter what, yeah Chip I agree with you, you cannot use your past, your current, illnesses, setbacks WHATEVER, as excuses for your behavior. Reasons, yes. Excuses no. fades back to watch from her land without Zoloft
Katja Marlowe Registered User Join date: 15 Apr 2005 Posts: 421	07-05-2005 10:24 From: Claire Glitterbuck I'd like to thank everyone for their supportive comments. I'm truly touched, and don't feel quite so alone now. I'd like to point out that I'm not making excuses for myself or for anyone. We're each ultimately responsible for our own actions and our own decisions. However, I AM trying to raise awareness. While the internet in general is an amazing means of communication (in fact, I met my late husband online in 1988, we were married almost 14 years when he died), you simply DO NOT KNOW who is behind the other keyboard. It could be someone with a medical condition, it could be someone with a mental condition, it could be someone who's had a really sucky day, it could be someone who gets their rocks off in various spiteful ways, it could be someone who is truly reaching out a helping hand. The point is, you simply DO NOT KNOW. Nobody here is in a position to "diagnose" anyone else. Nobody is really in a position to judge anyone else. Because you DO NOT KNOW. That being the case, all that I'm asking is that we try to be gentle with each other, and try not to make hurtful comments. Now, somebody stop me before I start singing "Kumbaya". Excellent post Claire! I agree.
Chip Midnight ate my baby! Join date: 1 May 2003 Posts: 10,231	07-05-2005 10:54 Thanks for your input Katja _____________________ My other hobby: www.live365.com/stations/chip_midnight

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