Is there any such men out there?

Alcoholism and meaningless sex are really the best route. Then you can pull yourself together in like 10 years and find an old man with lots of cash and a weak heart. It is a time tested plan that never fails.

Well theres a lot of women who say something like this -

"I dont want to date a guy like that, hes a bit nerdy"

"I want a date a guy who hates sitting at a desk, with muscles who likes to work hard and play hard"

Theres other women who Like computer geeks and nerdy guys and date them preferentially.

me personally - I tend to be attracted to Quirky intelligent alternative type women. I havent had so much luck meeting them where it lasts from practical reasons so I have no idea if this type is wrong for me.

The other type of women I date - well lets just say I really have a "lost puppy" problem. I sort of end up with peopel who follow me home. Their emotional issues and mine tend not to mix and I end up spending a lot of energy on them.

Now both of these type are far superior to the type of men i dated - I tended to go for men who are confident. But i have a hard time differentiating between confidence and Ego. Two different men ive dated online the last few years would end up bragging about women wed meet - "yeah I know her we had sex a coupel of times" or how many of my freinds they had been with. -- the relationship was already downhill at this point of course.

I Like your idea not to stereo type people - for idealism sake it is really good to say that -

but if you think about it relistically MANY women and men go for a certain type.

Now then maybe thats part of the solution? People who go for a certain type to open their eyes and not pre judge someone based on the catagory they would fit into - perhaps then they would be more compatable.

People dont do that in most cases, though.

I like sexism, please everyone post more about "men do this" and "men do that"

P'raps this is why there are so many broken marriages and relationships.

People are predefining others.

Personally, I like the randomness and excitement of individuality, and am loathe to pigeon-hole people.

I mean how exciting is saying "well I want "this type"? That's setting one's self up for boredom.

very possibly true.

I dont think necessarily boredom , but very possibly failure.

You cant say boredom becuase even though many or most ARE attracted to a certain type - those people they go for are still going to be individuals.

For example if you prefer someone who Really is good at flirting and is a really good kisser, and so on - maybe theres a reason they are so good at flirting - LOTS of practice.

Hehehe, true enough.

Personally, I think boredom can be a precursor to failure.

I don't think that's how it works at all. In my experience (and those of close friends), we've found ourselves attracted to people who we actually believed were different in the fundamental ways we sought difference -- then later only found out that they weren't that different after all.

As an example, a friend of mine has had horrible luck meeting women who were not clingy and needy. He's already divorced one such and ended a long-term relationship with another. Who did he take up with lately? A kind, loving, intelligent, generous woman he thought could just bit "it".

Three months later he discovers that she is over the edge codependent and her ex was an alcoholic.

He had no idea -- he never pre-defined her. He honestly hoped he could break his own pattern of relationships, but in the end he was drawn to her for the very reason he was drawn to his other past women.

That is a beautiful, heart warming sentiment. The Anna Nicole strategy. Oh wait, it sort of did fail for Anna Nicole. At least she had that reality show. Nothing quite like gold digging as an investment strategy - especially the "come and go at the same time" type variety of posthumous financial windfall.

Moved to Off-Topic for further discussion.

I agree Eboni... wanna hook up? hehe

Just an observation:

if they are 'non-cheating' there is no need to add 'single' as they would not be interested in anyone else if already taken.

Happy with my Pituca

I was referring to people who state that they want "this type" or "that type", not unconsciously being drawn to certain people.

There is a hefty difference between ending up with a certain type, and looking for a certain type. I think more often than not, those who seek a certain "type" will end up disappointed.

It's strange you never hear a woman say "I want a married, lying, cold, insensitive, boring, dumb, promiscuous drug user".

There are TONS of men like this everywhere. The problem is what you want and what you are attracted to are two different things. Ohhhhh... I can feel the defensiveness kick in with a hundred different reason I am wrong.

What you want is an emotional need filled using the rational part of your brain. If you were attracted to a person, all these "conditions" you list go right out the window. Do you think men sit back and say "She has .8 waist to hip ratio, child bearing hips, does not have any signs of obvious health problems, clear complexion, blah blah blah"? A guy thinks "I wonder what she looks like with her clothes off". The attraction is instant, it's either there or not. It's not an analytical process.

So what happens in SL is the playing field is evened. 300lb women look the same as 110lb women. 50 year olds are the same as 18 year olds. The only basis that a man has for judging what a woman is like in SL is their personality. No matter how close the relationship gets though, he always has this feeling "Is she hot?". Regardless if she is 1000 miles away or the chances of meeting will never happen for whatever reason, a man needs to feel that the woman he is with is attractive.

Women that have the most success in online relationships are because they are aggressive. They will talk to a man without needing to be approached which takes your whole game away. Women LOVE to give the cold stare and act like they are out of your reach (especially the attractive ones). It's the only way for them to filter out the aggressive dominant men they are attracted to. Do you want some insecure guy that kisses your ass 24/7 and acts like the world revolves around you? This is what a nice guy does and even though it seems flattering at first, it gets old quick to the point of annoyance. Probably the reason SL relationships are counted in weeks, not months.

What you truly want is someone that makes you feel insecure. Someone that doesn't make you feel like an angel, but rather like you don't know where you stand with him. So you can sit at home and obsess about him, think about all the things you can do to get his attention and convince him you are the one for him. Do you think that way about Mr. Insecure that is ringing your phone 10 times a day and dying to take you out the next day? No, and that is why what you are looking for isn't what attracts you, it's what rationally makes sense.

This is a generalization I know. There maybe 5% of the women out there that are very happy being with a doormat loser just as there are people with toe fetishes but I would rather focus on the other 95% of that gender. I am never afraid to walk away and the women I have been with know this and in the end it makes them more affectionate, attentative and to be honest, more fun to be around. The worst relationships I had (and had my heart broken the most) were from women I thought were better then me and I wasn't worthy of their love.

If you want to meet a man that makes you feel the emotions you want to feel, talk to people. I have been in SL for about a month. I have had 1 person approach me to start a conversation and he was my neighbor. I walk up to anyone and everyone and talk and that is how I've made friend. If I get an elitist attitude from a woman I just laugh at them. When you get someone that knows the game and knows how to flirt back, it's like rocket fuel and is quite a rush.

The long and short is, be aggressive. Walk up to men and have fun. Bust on them. Act like you are a prize and you will be. Don't take the first thing that comes along, get someone that will make you FEEL something, not someone to fill space. A man enjoys nothing more then having a woman come onto him if she's attractive, which all women in SL have an even field in.

Love is not about walking away or making people feel insecure. That doesn't seem to be a productive way to start a relationship either. I just don't see it your way ~ however, I do think it is an interesting post.

Possibly tho - someone can start out unconciously drawn to a certain type - then recognizing that fact and voicing it.

I think in MOST cases people will be disappointed. Online relationships intensify this substantially. Becuase in all honesty well over 9 in 10 online relationships fail.

Basically they either come to terms its online only and let it fail over the course of time (some last years even but are of course doomed eventually)

Or the couple meets in real life and it either ends reasonable quickly ; or even rarer works out for the couple - there are stories about this even on these forums - if someone reads is in this situation they probably know they beat the odds)


So if you are goign to date online you have to learn to be kind of Zen about the whole thing, and enjoy it while it lasts.

Im still trying to get to that point. But I think Im begining to manage to get over the part where I blame the people I had the relationship with.

I fit in the single, nice guy, non-cheating category. But, I don't do on-line relationships. Hmm, come to think of it, I don't seem to do any off-line relationships either.

I agree, and let me state from experience - Online relationships are VERY difficult things to handle.

You know, I've never had an issue with finding nice guys, personally. I view them as apples from a tree.

It's all about attitude.

PS. Although I don't think I shall ever attempt an online relationship.

There are some good men out there. When there not PMSing

PMSing?

Perpetually Monitoring Sports?

Preemtively Making.. S.... bah nevermind.

Personally I, and most of my friends would love the sort of man that thinks the world revolves around us. Just as we would think the world revolves around them. To my mind it should be a two way thing. I don't call that insecurity though, to me it is how we should view our partner. There is nothing worse than being made to feel like you are treading on thin ice all the time. I think the vast majority of men and women want to feel needed, not in the needy sort of way, but in the I really want/like having you around sort of way.

I am talking about what makes a woman feel attraction. You can either change your approach or try to change the world. Changing yourself is easier but then it's hard to point fingers. From the posts you've made it sounds like a puppy would fill most of your needs.

Women will justify the hell out of their actions and like it or not, the more a woman feels she has a man wrapped around her little finger, the less attraction she feels for him. The less secure she feels, the more she will try and "prove herself". I don't call it games, I call it giving what she wants. If she doesn't like it, she is free to leave anytime and they never do. The willingness to walk away is the power women don't like men to have because that is a card they like to play.

Yes. They are all either:

Geeks (usually into computers)
Ugly
Fat
Gay

or any combination of the above. You're lucky if you can find one of the first (they can actually be half decent looking at least). Of course, I fall into the first category, but I don't live in SL either.

why yes...precisely... a player.
definition of understatement? This was my laugh of the week Shawn....LOL LOL still laughing..OMG...ROFL...