Is there any such men out there?

(emphasis mine w/in the quote)

I think that not a good hearted person, ANY DECENT human being will treat Everyone well all the time. The first thing that needs to be addressed is finding people of quality. If you're not meeting decent people where ever it is that you're hanging out, that's a clear sign that needs to be heeded. I wish you luck in your quest for nicer, decent, friendly folks to hang out with!

There is a few assumptions being made here that are not implied in the original question at all. Nos 1, 2, and 4 assume that I, or friends continue to stay in relationships like these when in fact usually any one of these factors is a death knell.
Point 3, well no-one expects (or should expect) others to make them happy, but we also don't expect them to make us unhappy either.

Point 5 is the main one I wanted to address. Not everyone has the opportunity to have a real life relationship. This can be from many factors, eg. being a primary carer of a disabled person, being disabled yourself, being a sole parent, living in an isolated area, the list goes on. Hence the growth of online relationships in recent years.

I think alot of the nice, honest, caring, loving men have also been trampled on by women enough that many are not the ones out there "chasing" or getting in line for the opportunity to make an impression.

I know quite a few truly good men and women that have all but given up and just hold out hope that they stumble across the right partner sometime in the future.

And usually the guy in the club hitting on all the women, or acting like an ass, or driving the Hummer, or trying to impress you with his wit and style is NOT the one that is gonna start out being nice, and honest and caring.

It seems alot of women want a truly good guy, but will only date assholes. Sometimes you have to really open your eyes and notice the good ones walking quietly through life.

OMG that is so true, and I too am guilty, good guys DO always finish last.. and they shouldn't!

I used to think this about women (RL) until I realised I only had myself to blame. Make sure your head is screwed on, your eyes are wide open and most importantly...relax! You can only be used and treated like crap if you yourself allow it. So don't.

Brilliant! Couldn't have put it better

yep but he's mine <3 *sings and dances around* Lucky Me Lucky Me Lucky Me!

LMAO

Sigh. Every kind, intelligent, caring, sweet, charming, funny man I have met in SL has uttered the same words, "I have been hurt before. I don't trust people (read: I don't trust you)." I understand.

I used to be like that. Then one day I found out women are more than just about being pretty and smell like perfume. Now it's all about the sex.

*whistles innocently*
-Newfie

Let's not forget a few things that the anonymity in virtual places such as Second Life can guarantee... not to mention the fact you can start life fresh for the cost of $9.95 and losing your no-transfer objects:

(1) Nice folks will be even nicer and more genuine.
(2) Assholes will be more assholish and easier to spot.
(3) Text lacks qualities of humanity that a voice possesses.
(4) Both RL sexes will explore their freedom and fantasies much more readily; not being permanent, its easy to switch back. You also can't restore your RL reputation for $9.95 if you find out its "not for you". As the SL Message of the Day states, "The great thing about tattoos in Second Life is their much easier to remove in the morning when you sober up."
(5) Pie doesn't taste as good in SL.

Just a few things to remember. Take ANY SL relationship - romantic or not - with a grain of salt until you choose to meet in RL.

Regards,

-Flip

I met a guy like that in church. He won't have a thing to do with SL, though, which I suppose ought to tell me something.

This is one sided a bit. It appears that the only good man is one wanting to settle down with one woman and mate for life. If you are not after an exclusive relationship your flawed?
If your goal in meeting this perfect man in sl is to go on to a rl relationship that results in something tangible and real, more power to you. I sincerely hope this happens for you.
On the other hand. If a man is scrupulously honest with you in sl, explains that he is having a good time and enjoys the company of women, but is not seeking an exclusive relationship, isn't this just as valid a method of play?
I know this is probably a mistake to state, but isn't the concept of an in world marriage/engagement/exclusive relationship just carrying fl attitudes into your sl? In fl the mating dance is in us and needed for the species to survive. In sl just what is the end result of a marriage that solely remains in sl? I may be wrong but I don't think it even has any financial benefits.
I am not that cold blooded. I feel the warmth of the pixelated romance. I know it is there and can be emotional. However, this is people sitting great distances from each other at computer screens. Unless this is carried into rl, and results in some rl meaning, I can't place more importance on it than it deserves.

If there is any good men out there for Midnit Rambler please respond to her posting.

The reason for this is simple... and goes on both sides, men and women. Way too often butts are more important than brains.

Lucky I have them both!

Nice guys... and gals are out there but too often it's the "bad boy" or "naughty girl" that gets the date. No wonder what happens in the end. Ya get what ya paid for.

I will recognize that there are wolves in sheep’s clothing out there too. My opinion above is a generality and not applicable to every case. I say… just keep looking… there really are nice people out there.

Just take your time. You will meet the right person for you. If you rush you will have reget in most cases.

I was all set to address #5 as well, but from a different angle, til I read Midnite's post.

You make a very good point, but I also think that if one's primary source of social contact is online, you have to make allowances for that. Because it is anonymous, you really should trust someone less than you do offline, face-to-face. It's fine for making contact. It's fine for lighthearted fun and interaction, but the moment it steps over that line into "relationship" territory, the immediate and undeniable requirement is to meet offline -- take it to that next level or else resign yourself to the facts: (a) You will only ever know what they choose to tell you about themselves, (b) Statistical odds are against it lasting, (c) You are likely to end up hurt and/or disappointed.

In the grand scheme, I often wonder what we're doing to ourselves as we eschew the harder but generally more fulfilling work of relationships-in-the-flesh for the more ephemeral, illusionary and fleeting gratification of electronic ones. It can't be a good thing.

Not always..

They aren't assumptions. They are validity checks. Whether or not they apply to you is up to you to decide.

Nice assumption, though. =/

As for point 5, speaking as someone who is now a primary caretaker of a 91 yr old woman, someone who has been disabled, someone is is living in an isolated area, and who has been a sole parent, I can tell you that most of the things you list and almost every one of them that could possibly be included upon such a list fall under the same title of type..... avoidance mechanisms. The question to answer when one realises this is, 'Why am I avoiding the real world or preferring a virtual one to it?'

Of course, if one chooses to avoid realising it, then I suppose that question would be avoided as well.

There was one I knew of, so we put him in a secret, high-security zoo built in the sky.

He escaped after the female owner of the zoo abandoned her account and made an alt due to problems with a non-single, dishonest, callous, un-fun, stupid, cheating male mate.

I concur.

I have given all of myself several times, only to have it thrown back in my face a year or two later.

Yes. But they are very hard to find because they think every female AV in SL is a dude.
I found one, but I'm not giving him up. Sorry

The following has always been interesting to me-

A couple breaks up - for whatever reason - Ill use woman and man so the terms are different.

The woman says "he's such a jerk he did a,b,c" to her freinds and theres much sympathy and condolances - the chorus is 'you can do better'

The man says "shes such a bitch she did x,y,z" to his freinds and theres much sympathy and condolances - "is plenty more where she came from"

This cycle repeats , as naseum. I guess many find a partner who is the least objectionable and take themselves out of the mix for a while.

BUt in the end, at least after a couple relationships until one ends badly (almost everyone)

- any man who has broken up with women is a jerk
- any woman who has broken up with a men is a bitch

so all men are jerks and all women bitches - from someone's veiwpoint

SO the answer to the original poster's question is quite possibly is "NO"

Then again its quite possible one of her exes is lamenting how women are.

Yes im aware the cynical side to this ----

I too seem to pick people who in the end hurt me. Ive hurt others too, mainly becuase there times I decide it needs to be over and they dont agree.

From a practical standpoint - if you keep picking people who hurt you. You need to date a different type of person.

Like someone said many women want a "bad boy" - well the chances are if hes bad - guess what? hes bad for you in the end.

The trick, Stormy, is to catch such a man in the brief period between two events.

The first is when he has just recovered from the mountains of abuse and ultimately rejection he received from his previous woman, who loved him at first but ultimately came to see him as a doormat because he didn't abuse her.

The second event is when his innate optimism persuades him to have another try, with another woman who sees how wonderfully he treats her, and mistakenly thinks that is what she wants.

I dunno Collete - are there really "types"?

It seems a tad unfair to me when people say that. Unfair to both the "type" and those who date them.