Ask Ulrika Anything

Now that I have more free time, I thought I'd offer an alternative to Jake's question-answering service. While I'll certainly not be able to give the kind of humorous, sage advice that he does, my no-nonsense straight-to-the-point answers should be useful (if not entertaining) nonetheless.

I'm also a whiz at mathematics, grammar, philosophy, and Pokémon, so ask the tough ones that seem to throw ol' Jake off his game.

~Ulrika~

How come no one likes me?

And if you have time please answer this one aswell,

How can i tell if my partner is "fakeing it" in bed?

Who was the guitarist on Boom and the Legion of Doom's "I Grub Human Flesh"? I can't remember, I got that 7inch vinyl 20 years ago and it's in storage,...

It's perception not reality. You are actually well liked, it's just that you fixate on the negative comments instead of the positive, leaving yourself with a feeling that you are disliked. Learn to let go of the negative comments and embrace the positive. No one likes you.

Communication. Honesty in a relationship begins with honesty in bed. Communicate with your partner openly about the subject, letting them know what you prefer (honesty or deception in bed), then trust in their actions. They are always faking it.

~Ulrika~

That would be Johnny Draket. I grabbed the first name off of the boomandthelegionofdoom.com website I could find.

~Ulrika~

Dear Ulrika... when using a proportional (not monospaced) font, should one space be typed after a period or two, and why?

Either is valid, depending on what media. On the web, additional whitespace is zapped, so don't bother with more than one. In a newspaper, two spaces is proper, according to most style guides like the AP.

Ulrika, what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

The standard spacing for typographically proportional (non-monospace) fonts after a full stop is 1.5 spaces. While professional typesetting packages automatically space full stops correctly, the inability of word-processing software and markup languages to represent 1.5 spaces has lead to arguments over whether one should use 1 or 2 spaces. My personal preference is to match the standard used in monospace fonts and use 2 spaces. I have a human head in my freezer.

~Ulrika~

I like reduced-fat vanilla bean with chocolate syrup. I keep the ice cream next to the human head in my freezer.

~Ulrika~

Thanks for both your answers, Ulrika and Hiro.

(Not a question this is.)

Is it safe?

No. Heart disease, the number-one killer of women and men in the U.S., stalks you like a lion. Be sure to get at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week, eat at least two servings of fruit and vegetables a day, and avoid foods with trans fatty acids (look for partially hydrogenated oils in the ingredients list). Heart disease killed 750,000 people in 2001 compared to 3,000 killed by terrorists.

~Ulrika~

You did notice the irony that Ulrika's response was done in 1-space after periods, right?

Ulrika, I am a New Jersey resident having trouble whom to vote for in this election.

I am definitely not voting for Corzine, who has been directly linked to Democratic Boss Norcross - who is under investigation for a host of corruption charges, and former governor McGreevy, who resigned among several corruption scandals.

The Republican-backed alternative, Doug Forrester, has gone from being "conservative businessman" in his ads in January on the radio, to pretending he's a moderate, as well as running nasty, poorly-logicked attack ads against Kerry last fall during the Presidential election. However, he would get support from his party, and the election is close and I'm concerned that my vote may be very important - and he I believe is the lesser of two evils.

Both candidates have spent $50 million + on their campaigns, which is unheard of for a Jerey governor race. Neither are ones I really want in office.

Former Jersey City mayor Schundler would have been a decent choice, but he lost in a heated primary to Forrester, in which Forrester ran a nasty ad campaign, as is his M.O. Schundler, being a loyal Republican, hasn't been campaigning as a 3rd party candidate.

There's a Democrat 3rd party candidate, but I don't really agree with his political theory - he's a bit too radical and I doubt he has the clout or support to get anything done in Jersey - and we desperately need progress made on corruption and property tax relief - issues that affect all but the rich.

I feel disgusted by my state, yet obligated to vote. Whom should I vote for and why?

How's the baby?

If the use of "U'ed" is like stabbing a grammar teacher, would the forum below be considered grammar teacher genocide?

Another Forum

I actually use two spaces after my full stops in the forum. It's just that in HTML extra white space is ignored and only a single space is printed. Doubt me again and you'll get to meet my friend in the freezer.

I was reading today that one of the greatest hurdles a candidate faces is achieving recognition, and through that, popularity. It is recognition and popularity that often correlate highest with a candidate's ability to win a race (which is why big advertising budgets pay off and incumbents have the advantage). With that said, I would recommend not just voting for but campaigning for the radical Democratic candidate, with the hopes that in future races, as he matures and becomes more moderate with his success, that he will be able to win office from the obviously corrupt first and second choices. Republicans are in league with Satan.

~Ulrika~

She's doing marvelously. At ten weeks old she's already sleeping through the night! I keep her in the closet next to a torn-open bag of cat food in case she gets hungry.

~Ulrika~

Despite my jest in a separate forum, I am actually fascinated by |33t and other alternative methods of spelling that have appeared since the advent of our new electronic medium. I hate those idiots who spell "you" with a "U".

~Ulrika~

How would you spell "you" without a "U"? "Yo"?

Dear Ulrika:

Why do I have the horrible gnawing suspicion that there's more to your posts than is immediately visible? Why do I have this aching fear of your freezer?

OH! OH! I can handle this one for you, Ulrika...

Is she having sex with YOU, Billy?

Yup, she's faking it.



P2

hi ulrika. my neighbour owns an 8 cylinder mercedes. although the engine is fairly fuel efficient for the amount of power and torque it produces, it still isn't a 4 cylinder civic.

should i key his car?

Dear Ulrika,
What are the fundamental underlying patterns, concepts and structures of reality and the human experience thereof?
Furthermore, what's a guy gotta do to see a picture of you, sign an NDA?

Who is your favorite Pokemon character?

I can't wait to hear this one!