Luke Skywalker Killed 1M People

How many people can one proton torpedo kill? According to the page below anywhere between one million (the standard Death Star compliment) and one billion people (the maximum Death Star compliment)!

http://science.howstuffworks.com/death-star7.htm

(Sorry. I'm bored today and I just discovered digg. I've been rummaging through all their great links. )

~Ulrika~

IMPERIAL SCUM!

-Ayame Sapeur

( Not like it was women or children )

Small Fries.

YUUZHAN VONG KILL 300+ TRILLION!

Those who support the Imperial fleet are the true patriots, protecting the federation from the Jedi rebellion. A true patriot wouldn't question the Emperor and would support our troops in space.

To show my support, I put an Imperial flag on my space SUV (which was keyed by rebel scum just the other day).

~Ulrika~

RANDAL
You know what else I noticed in Jedi?

DANTE
There's more?

RANDAL
So they build another Death Star, right?

DANTE
Yeah.

RANDAL
Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.

DANTE
Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.

RANDAL
And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.

DANTE
Compliments of Lando Calrissian.

RANDAL
Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.

DANTE
And you figured it out?

RANDAL
Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.

DANTE
Basically.

RANDAL
So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.

DANTE
And the second time around...?

RANDAL
The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.

DANTE
So?

RANDAL
A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

DANTE
Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.

RANDAL
Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

DANTE
All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?

RANDAL
All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
(notices Dante's confusion)
All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.

The BLUE-COLLAR MAN joins them.

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you
talking about?

RANDAL
The ending of Return of the Jedi.

DANTE
My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer...
(digs into pocket and
produces business card)
Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.

RANDAL
Like when?

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.

DANTE
Whose house was it?

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
Dominick Bambino's.

RANDAL
"Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.

DANTE
Based on personal politics.

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.

RANDAL
No way!

BLUE-COLLAR MAN
(paying for coffee)
I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky.
(pauses to reflect)
You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this...
(taps his heart)
not his wallet.

That was my first thought: the Death Star debate from Clerks.

brilliant post, btw

you know, the 1 million + imperials were pretty bad, but what has been well hidden and even more shocking is the Endor Holocaust

What happens when you detonate a spherical metal honeycomb over five hundred miles wide just above the atmosphere of a habitable world? Regardless of specifics, the world won't remain habitable for long.

RIP Wicket



The animated series Ewoks and the TV movie Return to Endor must have been sly propoganda meant to trick us into thinking everything was A-OK

The rebels AND the imperials are scum in my book...

Ah, what a tragic loss - a terrible, immoral waste!


- Desmond


Ah... is Ewok meat anything like kangaroo, or perhaps Palm Civet?

More like a cross between Panda and Koala...

with a little Aye-aye finger thrown in for spice.

Its like the atomic bombs. Billions of lives were saved and the galaxy removed from the clutches of tyranny. A high cost but not as high as the alternative.

Let's run with that.

The Galactic Empire is the United States and the Death Star is the U.S.'s nuclear arsenal. As the U.S. wages war over the face of the Earth led by our evil Emperor (Cheney) and Darth Vader (Bush), a rebellion is forming internally and externally to stop the creation of a Pax Americana -- peace by occupation. I submit the illegal detainment of a princess (undermining of habeas corpus and the Magna Carta by denying "enemy combatants" a right to trial); the drugging and torture of the princess by droids in the Death Star (the CIA's secret foreign detainment camps); and the annihilation of Alderaan (Fallujah) as evidence that they must be stopped.

~Ulrika~

Actually, its much worse. The various laborers and artisans aboard the second Death Star were obiviously not union workers. Do you think even the Teamsters would put up with the Emperor and Vader intimidating their members? Dark Side or not, if those workers were union, Vader and the Emperor would wake up and find a tauntaun's severed head in their beds. No one forces union workers to work long shifts at top speed and gets away with it.

There realy is nothing in the magna carta that addresses the right to trial of enimies of england.

So, what you're saying Ulrika, is that if we define the deathstar as "this"... then...

This did NOT end well....

*Pauses The Academy Is*

Who cares? The only characters I liked were Leia and Padme. GO CARRY FISHER AND NATALIE PORTMAN! WOOT WOOT

One is actually not a goyum

-Ayame Sapeur

I am your father Luke, give into the dark side you knob!

Educate thyself! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magna_Carta

One of the most important clauses that would have the longest lasting effect was Article 39 according to which

This meant the King must judge individuals according to the law, and not according to his own will. Similarly, Article 40 stated:


This has been your official slap down for the week.

~Ulrika~

*pause JamisonParker*

/remove headphones

Looks like I made a new friend! *huggles!*

Lol, dude, chill.

Its just that Padme was the best thing to happen. Girl got brains, looks, and a sexy wardrobe, lol! And I totally love how Carrie Fisher was beautiful in a unique way rather than a blonde femme fatale one. Awww! Sorry I upset you by not using pretty numbers and terms.

-Ayame Sapeur

PS Twileks are teh sex

Great.

Ulrika reveals the Horrific Truth about the Rebel Alliance's victory over the Death Star, and Mulch reports on the Heretofore Hidden Genocide of the Ewoks by the rebels....

And all anyone can talk about is Padme's and Leia's thighs.

It's all so twentieth century.

You have no right to judge the actions of people who lived a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away according to your country's laws and morals.

'The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.'

joseph stalin

I hate this analogy. Darth Vader is a hero who saves the Galaxy. Most people think Luke saved the galaxy, and Vader was a bad man, but it turns out not to be true.

Study the whole body of work! This is like reading 2 chapters of a book and coming to conclusions about the main characters. The world of Star Wars is far more complex than a battle between good and evil where the lines are clearly drawn.

Now if you think Bush will mature in his older age and take on the right, then maybe your on to something.

Maybe by throwing Karl Rove into a volcano just after Rove has jabbed him with a poision-tipped spear?

And does that also mean that Jenna and Barbara will be leading the revolution against the dictatorship once it dissolves the Senate and House?

God I wish I could PS so I could make posters of Rove Vs. the Volcano

Lmao, good stuff!