Chuck cant marry me cuz Im already married.
Yes he can he has the power to nullify any marrage he wants. By law you are married to Chuck when Chuck Norris says to you, "You, Here, Now".
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List of things Chuck Norris can't do. |
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 12:45
Yes he can he has the power to nullify any marrage he wants. By law you are married to Chuck when Chuck Norris says to you, "You, Here, Now". _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Tang Lightcloud
Sweet & Juicy
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 377
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Rawr
11-23-2005 12:46
I dont know about Chuck, but dang Jack your making me Rrrrrrrrandy.
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Euterpe Roo
The millionth monkey
Join date: 24 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,395
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11-23-2005 12:48
Chuck cant marry me cuz Im already married. He can't marry Tang, and he can't be me. (notice, please, that I said "be" not "beat."  Denkyouberrymush.  _____________________
"Of course, you'd also have to mention . . . furries, Sith Lords, cyberpunks, glowing balls of gaseous neon fumes, and walking foodstuffs" --Cory Edo
“One man developed a romantic attachment to a tractor, even giving it a name and writing poetry in its honor." MSN "  next week: the .5m torus of "I ate a yummy sandwich and I'm sleepy now"" Desmond Shang |
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 12:48
Lets see Chuck do this  or this  I have seen both of these in person. Hell I defeated both of em but Chuck can do both of these he just chooses to you use his fists and his roundhouses because he likes getting close in for the kill so he can watch his enemies die. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 12:50
He can't marry Tang, and he can't be me. (notice, please, that I said "be" not "beat." Denkyouberrymush. If Chuck Chooses he can take over your life and become you but why would he want to become you when he is he. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Satchmo Prototype
eSheep
Join date: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 1,323
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11-23-2005 12:53
I have seen both of these in person. Hell I defeated both of em but Chuck can do both of these he just chooses to you use his fists and his roundhouses because he likes getting close in for the kill so he can watch his enemies die. BLASPHEMY!!! _____________________
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Joy Honey
Not just another dumass
Join date: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 3,751
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11-23-2005 13:08
hmmm... what can't Chuck Norris do? I would say he can't speak Esperanto, but Jack will only come back to say that he only chooses not to
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Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin
You have delighted us long enough. - Jane Austen Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant |
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Memory Harker
Girl Anachronism
Join date: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 393
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Hey, Ms. Roo?
11-23-2005 13:09
He can't marry Tang, and he can't be me. (notice, please, that I said "be" not "beat." Denkyouberrymush. You. Here. Now. ~ Memory Harker <--- sits back with a mint julep, waiting to see how this gambit plays out. |
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 13:11
hmmm... what can't Chuck Norris do? I would say he can't speak Esperanto, but Jack will only come back to say that he only chooses not to Actually Chuck programs protocal droids because he knows every language ever imagined duh _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 13:12
You. Here. Now. ~ Memory Harker <--- sits back with a mint julep, waiting to see how this gambit plays out. Only works for Chuck sorry _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Mulch Ennui
15 Minutes are Over
Join date: 22 May 2005
Posts: 2,607
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11-23-2005 13:16
http://www.celebheights.com/s/Chuck-Norris-140.html
why does Chuck use lifts? I assume he could just roundhouse kick himself taller... _____________________
I have of late--but wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.
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Joy Honey
Not just another dumass
Join date: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 3,751
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11-23-2005 13:16
Actually Chuck programs protocal droids because he knows every language ever imagined duh I thought he invented every language _____________________
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin
You have delighted us long enough. - Jane Austen Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant |
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 13:19
http://www.celebheights.com/s/Chuck-Norris-140.html why does Chuck use lifts? I assume he could just roundhouse kick himself taller... These are not lifts rather they are shock absorbers so that when chuck's powerful feet hit the ground he doesnt leave pot holes. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 13:21
I thought he invented every language This is true but he also knows of ones that simply lie within the imagination of an entity. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Joy Honey
Not just another dumass
Join date: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 3,751
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11-23-2005 13:25
These are not lifts rather they are shock absorbers so that when chuck's powerful feet hit the ground he doesnt leave pot holes. _____________________
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin
You have delighted us long enough. - Jane Austen Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant |
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Logan Bauer
Inept Adept
Join date: 13 Jun 2004
Posts: 2,237
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11-23-2005 13:37
1. Chuck Norris roundhouses the Rocky Mountains. He would then also be able to lift the entire expanse of the Rocky Mountains. I will not argue this point because I saw it done on A&E right after that "Cris Angel" guy ate burritos or something.
However, if Chuck were to continue roundhouse-kicking mountains until he had formed a Ginormous pile of mountain debris, would Chuck Norris be able to create a mountain that he himself, Chuck Noris, would not be able to lift? 2. If Chuck Norris were able to asexually reproduce (Which yes, I also have seen, and it's not pretty), How many Chuck Norri (plural of Chuck Norris) can dance on the head of a pin? 3. Most importantly, can Chuck make pancakes? I'm just wondering because when I saw him working in that diner, I swear he served me waffles instead just out of spite, even tho I told that damned waitress "PANCAKES!". This is another one of those, "He could, but he just didn't want to" scenarios, isn't is? _____________________
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Joy Honey
Not just another dumass
Join date: 17 Jun 2005
Posts: 3,751
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11-23-2005 13:41
1. Chuck Norris roundhouses the Rocky Mountains. He would then also be able to lift the entire expanse of the Rocky Mountains. I will not argue this point because I saw it done on A&E right after that "Cris Angel" guy ate burritos or something. However, if Chuck were to continue roundhouse-kicking mountains until he had formed a Ginormous pile of mountain debris, would Chuck Norris be able to create a mountain that he himself, Chuck Noris, would not be able to lift? 2. If Chuck Norris were able to asexually reproduce (Which yes, I also have seen, and it's not pretty), How many Chuck Norri (plural of Chuck Norris) can dance on the head of a pin? 3. Most importantly, can Chuck make pancakes? I'm just wondering because when I saw him working in that diner, I swear he served me waffles instead just out of spite, even tho I told that damned waitress "PANCAKES!". This is another one of those, "He could, but he just didn't want to" scenarios, isn't is? Yes, because Chuck Norris can do anything but only if he so chooses _____________________
Reality continues to ruin my life. - Calvin
You have delighted us long enough. - Jane Austen Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant |
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Frostie Flora
Dilly-Dally Shilly-Shally
Join date: 27 May 2004
Posts: 526
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11-23-2005 13:45
He can't touch my special pancakes because I say so!
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Logan Bauer
Inept Adept
Join date: 13 Jun 2004
Posts: 2,237
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11-23-2005 13:50
Yes, because Chuck Norris can do anything but only if he so chooses Even escape hypothetical religious paradoxes that have been around for centuries, it appears. I just hope he doesn't develop an urge to impregnate me, because I hear giving birth isn't fun. Can you imagine the roundhouse kicks that little baby Norris would perpetrate upon my nonexistent uterus? It would ALMOST be as bad as the pancake mixup! _____________________
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 14:50
1. Chuck Norris roundhouses the Rocky Mountains. He would then also be able to lift the entire expanse of the Rocky Mountains. I will not argue this point because I saw it done on A&E right after that "Cris Angel" guy ate burritos or something. However, if Chuck were to continue roundhouse-kicking mountains until he had formed a Ginormous pile of mountain debris, would Chuck Norris be able to create a mountain that he himself, Chuck Noris, would not be able to lift? yes since the earth is made up of a specified amount of materials. Chuck could only make a mountain by kicking the earth to be as big as the eart. Since it is already proven that when Chuck does pushups he is not lifting his body wieght he is actually pushing the world away from his body, he most definetely can lift it. 2. If Chuck Norris were able to asexually reproduce (Which yes, I also have seen, and it's not pretty), How many Chuck Norri (plural of Chuck Norris) can dance on the head of a pin? A Chuck Norris entity can make it self as big or small ass it seems fit. So i guess the number would have to be infinite 3. Most importantly, can Chuck make pancakes? I'm just wondering because when I saw him working in that diner, I swear he served me waffles instead just out of spite, even tho I told that damned waitress "PANCAKES!". This is another one of those, "He could, but he just didn't want to" scenarios, isn't is? No Chuck refers to what we call pancakes as waffels and vice versa. It is your fault for not knowing. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Teeny Leviathan
Never started World War 3
Join date: 20 May 2003
Posts: 2,716
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11-23-2005 18:00
Can Chuck travel to a parallel universe, fight his parallel counterpart and win?
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JackBurton Faulkland
PorkChop Express
Join date: 3 Sep 2005
Posts: 478
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11-23-2005 18:40
Can Chuck travel to a parallel universe, fight his parallel counterpart and win? Addressed earlier if Chuck fought himself it would end in a stalemate. Chuck can travel to any parallel universe with a twitch of his mustache. _____________________
You know what Jack Burton always says... what the hell?
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Sincere Fitzcarraldo
Registered User
Join date: 7 Sep 2005
Posts: 62
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11-25-2005 11:31
Chuck Norris is hot!
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Teeny Leviathan
Never started World War 3
Join date: 20 May 2003
Posts: 2,716
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11-25-2005 17:17
Ok, it has been established earlier that Chuck is the manliest of men. Could such a manly man play Richard Simmons in a Richard Simmons biopic?
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Osprey Therian
I want capslocklock
Join date: 6 Jul 2004
Posts: 5,049
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11-25-2005 17:51
Ooh nice one teeny
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