WTF is Wrong with Florida 12/7/05

can florida be picked on for all the things THAT ARE wrong with it if anyone ever went to fark.com its the only state with its own tag there

Haven't you guys been watching 'Invasion'?

At least we aren't New Jersey, that's all I'm sayin.

Dang - I missed this one and usually I'm on my toes, must be because I had to work in Canada this week. I was just not in "Florida" mode. Though this one:
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/12/07/D8EBJIL80.html certainly explains all the extra security I've been through at the airport today.

At the customs/immigration counter in Minn. this morning: Where are you coming from:

Regina

Oh, what where you doing there <smile>

Business

Where are you going? <still smiling>

Home.

Where's Home <still smiling>

Fort Lauderdale

You mean FLORIDA? <flat, no smile>

uh, yeah Florida.

Step over here please.



Can't ya all get a little teensy more crazy like you used to be in California, pretty please?

Don't leave us here in Florida carrying the whole weirdness ball for the entire nation, it's just not fair.

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LOL!

Thos laptops are better than most peoples brand new home PC's!!

My thought exactly? What's wrong with the rest of the country that you guys can't get as creative as we are when it comes to acts of perverse, sadistic, and moronic behavior?

It's hard work wrecking the curve all the time. Little help?

Here is one thing that is definitely not wrong with Florida right now:

http://www.usatoday.com/weather/storms/2005-12-08-ks-winter-storm_x.htm

Still a tad nicer than them nasty hurricanes IMHO

Um, if I had to pick between living in Miami Beach, even with hurricanes, and living in the middle of bum fuck Missouri, bring on mother nature's wrath. The Children of the Corn scare me much more. Not to mention, the whole tornado thing. At least with a hurricane, you have days of warning and can leave.

Why do you have to bring the children of the corn up all the time? It's not fair We're talking about the weather here, focus ... I'll still take snow storms over hurricanes any time.

Leilany

PS: Please don't make me pick between Miami and anything else... I hate having to pick anything else all the time lol

Time to update the weird Florida File - but I can understand why the guy did this, sort of....

5-Year-Old Says School Bus Driver Duct-Taped His Mouth

POSTED: 7:06 am EST December 14, 2005

DUNEDIN, Fla. -- A school bus driver could be fired after a 5-year-old boy reported that the driver taped his mouth shut so he would stop talking, school officials said.

The kindergartner told his parents the driver taped his mouth shut with duct tape on the ride home from Dunedin Elementary on Monday. He told his parents, who reported it to the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office.

Both the driver, who has been temporarily assigned to another route, and the adult aide on the bus could be fired, a school official said.

"If the allegations are substantiated, it is a clear violation of our policy," Pinellas County schools spokesman Sterling Ivey said. "As far as we're concerned, the nature of the incident is inappropriate touching or handling of a student."

Ivey did not release the name or work history of the driver or the aide. The bus's video surveillance camera had been removed about five days ago for maintenance, so there is no footage of the alleged incident, he said.

School officials will wait for the completion of the sheriff's office investigation before doing its own review, Ivey said.

This is at least the sixth incident in 14 months in which the safety or treatment of Pinellas County students has been called into question.

Last year, two students were hit and killed by cars after bus drivers let them off on the wrong side of busy streets. Another student was hit by a car and seriously hurt after he ran out of his school.

This year, police handcuffed two other students, one aboard a bus.

Even the animals here seem to have problems and go wacko a the drop of a hat...

Spooked deer crashes through window at Wellington smoothie shop

By LEON FOOKSMAN
sun-sentinel.com
Posted December 13 2005, 3:17 PM EST


WELLINGTON – Customers at the Tropical Smoothie Café got a fright on Tuesday when a spooked deer burst through one of the store's windows, deputies said.

The incident occurred around 1:10 p.m. at the café, 13860 Wellington Trace, when the buck showed up in the parking lot outside. Deputies believe the animal lived in a nearby wooded area. They think he was spooked by a passing car and fled to the café, eventually leaping into the window and breaking it.

Six surprised people were inside the store, but no one was injured.

The 100-pound deer suffered a concussion, however, and one of its antlers broke off. State game officers, who estimate the animal is 2 or 3 years old, used a tranquilizer dart to sedate it.

Then deputies and game officers put the deer in a truck and sent him to the Busch Wildlife Sanctuary in Jupiter where the deer will recover from its injuries and then be released back into the woods.

I live in Florida. That explains it all!

You know, I see these things in news of the weird and it doesn't say where they are until you click on them, but before I click - I just flippin know they are in Florida!

Billy this one is in your neck of the woods...

Students Arrested For Oral Sex In Classroom

Sandalwood High School

Principal Jack Shanklin
12/13/2005 11pm report

By First Coast News Staff

JACKSONVILLE, FL -- Three First Coast students are facing criminal charges after a teacher says they were involved in oral sex in the classroom.

Christopher Lemay, 18, is accused of paying a 16-year-old-girl to perform the act on another boy at Sandalwood High. Those two are under-age, so First Coast News is not releasing their identities.

Sandalwood administrators say the act happened under a table in a large class full of students, so the teacher had limited visibility.

The news is catching even veteran educators by surprise.

"It is not indicative of any school in Duval County," said Acting Principal Jack Shanklin.

"I've been in education a long time and I have never seen a situation like this in any educational setting," he said.

All three students have been assigned to alternative schools.

hey Rose, was gonna add that one, along with http://www.local6.com/news/5497478/detail.html and http://www.local6.com/news/5492453/detail.html as well

WTF is wrong with Georgia???

http://www.local6.com/news/5522373/detail.html

And New York??

http://www.local6.com/news/5530801/detail.html

or florida
http://www.wftv.com/news/5532230/detail.html

or florida?
http://www.local6.com/news/5527928/detail.html

or florida
http://www.local6.com/money/5535090/detail.html

or florida (doesn't get bizarre until the 19 yr old dood goes to police)
http://www.local6.com/money/5422900/detail.html

bwahahahahhahahahah

Best laugh I've had today (the "massage parlor" story) - although it was decidedly weird

(Loved the "massage parlor" story BTW - so, so Florida, right down to the way that it was reported.)


Central Fla. Man Found With Pitchfork Stuck In Head

POSTED: 6:00 am EST December 15, 2005
UPDATED: 10:13 am EST December 15, 2005

OCALA, Fla. -- A 21-year-old Central Florida man was arrested after his stepgrandfather was found dead with a pitchfork stuck in his head, according to a Local 6 News report.

Police in Ocala, Fla., said Efrain Ruiz admitted to stabbing 62-year-old Domingo Santiago in the head with a pitchfork.

When officers went to a home at 2130 N.E. 3rd Street Tuesday and found Santiago on the floor of the home with the pitchfork in the side of his head.

Detectives said the motive for the killing was apparently money, Local 6 News reported.

Police are still looking for other possible suspects in the case.

Ruiz is charged with first-degree murder. He's being held without bond in the Marion County Jail.

Bird with a buzz busted

News partner NBC 6
Posted December 15 2005, 1:00 PM EST


SARASOTA -- A bird with a buzz found in a Central Florida family's Christmas tree is getting ready to go back into the wild, news partner NBC 6 reported.

The little screech owl was found in the tree, which the family had kept for five days before deciding to decorate it.

Animal control officers from Pelican Man's Bird Sanctuary came to get the owl, and said they smelled a strange odor on it when they did.

"Curiously enough, the owl's feathers smelled very, very potently like marijuana," said Jeff Dering, of the sanctuary. "They examined the owl, looked at its eyes, ... and the owl was, in the vernacular, stoned."

Blood tests confirmed the owl's drug state.

Sanctuary staff checked the bird out, fed him and named him "Cheech." They said he would be released in a few days.

The buzzing bird also brought an early holiday gift to the sanctuary, which was in need of more than $250,000. The attention the bird has brought has helped ensure the sanctuary's survival.


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edited to ask: What kind of bored ass cop gives a screech owl a drug test?

only in freakin Florida.

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Two GREAT ones, via www.darwinawards.com :

this one is NEW HAMPSHIRE...at the MALL I SHOP AT!! why does all the fun entertainin stuff happen when IM NOT THERE!

We just have the weirdest people here - why oh why? I can't post his pic in the tiger suit, but there is one, so here is the link: http://www.news4jax.com/news/6804907/detail.html


Man In Tiger Suit Climbs To Top Of St. Augustine Lighthouse

POSTED: 7:07 am EST February 7, 2006
UPDATED: 6:55 pm EST February 7, 2006

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. -- A children's book author wearing a tiger suit climbed on top of the St. Augustine Lighthouse in the middle of the night to protest child pornography on the Internet, according to police.

About three hours later, the man -- now identified as Frank Feldmann, 35 -- was convinced to climb down from the top of tower just after 7 p.m. and charged with burglary.

St. Augustine police called by an intrusion alarm that went off at 4:17 a.m. found a note and the door to the lighthouse barricaded. They looked up and saw someone in a striped suit with a tail holding a flag who had tied himself to the lightning rod above the light.

According to the arrest report, the note, entitled "Read This Now," made no demands, but threatened that he would damage the lighthouse if police forcibly entered the lighthouse.

After he was arrested, he told police he did this to raise awareness for children, "to let them know there are good people out there fighting for causes."

Frank Feldmann was arrested on a charge of burglary. He may also and be charged with defacing government property.

The flag said "My Duke," an apparent reference to a book Feldmann wrote under the name Dusty L. Cage. The story is about a Bengal tiger who came to live in St. Augustine.

Police tried to communicate with Feldmann with a bullhorn, but winds of 25-35 mph and the tiger mask covering his head made efforts to communicate difficult. After officers made it onto the observation deck, officers convinced Feldmann to climb down.

Officers said Feldmann had two duffle bags of burgary tools and equipment with him.

"We don't know whether his intentions are simply to protest, which we later found out he was doing, or to do harm to himself," St. Augustine police spokesman Tom Clements said. "Or, if someone's been methodical enough to take the tools to barricade themselves, who knows what weapons they may have brought with them."

In addition to burglary charges, Feldmann may also be charged with defacing goverment property.

On what is believed to be his Web site, Feldmann says he is a husband and father of two children. Despite receiving recognition for his books, he has not found a publisher.

Before dawn, police and firefighters wait and watch as Feldmann waves a flag on top of the lighthouse, 165 feet above sea level.

Feldmann says he also suffered a setback when his family home was destroyed in a fire.

From the 4MyDuke.com:
"Today, Mr. Cage continues to promote his writings in any way afforded to him all across the United States. What promotional stunt is up his sleeve next? Well, we will just have to wait and see, but if you are reading this Web site, it probably has already happened.

"It is not only for his own promotion, but the promotion of many Americans that have something to offer only to be lost in the corporate world we live in today. It is more than just a stunt, it is a way to open doors for every ordinary American with a Dream."

"When in the battle against child port, unnecessary violence, and popular political agendas it is sometimes necessary to speak out in ways that may hold a progressively uncaring public's attention."

The Web site also has a link for a legal defense fund.

Feldmann was being held without bond pending a first appearance Wednesday morning.

Nothing too unusual today, just a woman from Haiti bringing in a human skull in her luggage...

Human skull found in suitcase at Fort Lauderdale airport

sun-sentinel.com
Posted February 9 2006, 10:18 PM EST


FORT LAUDERDALE -- Customs and Border Protection agents at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport found a human skull in a passenger's luggage Thursday afternoon, authorities said.

The woman arrived aboard Lynx International Airlines Flight 203 from Cap Haitien, Haiti, agency spokesman Zack Mann told South Florida Sun-Sentinel news partner WTVJ-ch. 6.

Mann said the woman is being questioned by authorities, but she has not been arrested. He said the Broward County medical examiner's office is working with federal agencies on the investigation.