A list of things that offend land owners compiled from opinions in this forum

When I got here in Feb. 04 it was MUCH friendlier. You'd go to an event, everyone would exchange cards and positve ratings, talk, meet eachother. When someone would change into a chicken suit everyone thought it was funny or "so cool"

Now I don't usually even get a welcome when I show up at an event, nobody exchanges cards without knowing someone well, ratings are useless and way to expensive. they used to be such conversation starters..go arouond the room rating everyone, 1 in 5 would im a thank you and a conversation would ensue...I miss those days.

Bigger isn't always better.




I know this isn't exactly on topic but I think you could have gotten the same message across in a nicer way. "oh thank you, in the future could you have the kids call me if they are invited to dinner to make sure we don't have something else planned" Then instruct your kids to always call when they are invited to dinner somewhere else. "or I would prefer to get to know you guys a bit better" rather than "Besides I don't even KNOW you" You never know where people are coming from. My Grandmother in Tennessee. never locks her door and all her friends just come right in whenever they want...here that would never work too dangerous to leave door unlocked. Though I do think your neighbors have overreacted a bit. Hope the relationship can be mended.

Oh my good, I had this friend over for dinner. My boyfriend had made this delicious spaghetti and added Portabello mushrooms. They were so good. This woman picked them all out and left them on the side of her plate. She didn't even try them. The next time I was going to invite her over for dinner, my bf picked up a can of spaghetti. I laughed so hard but of course we didn't serve it. It's still on the shelf. Ooh did that come off sounding snobbish?

Really? When I was young and immature, I acted silly and made plenty of mistakes, but I wasn't a malicious person out to cause anybody grief. Fmeh, maybe your problem in Second Life is that you are still a child at heart? I am half pulling your chain, but why would a youthful Fmeh be such a butthead?

See, I'm actually glad not to come back to places like that.

Yes. Now, can I come over and share the can of spaghetti with you?

well... i have to admit, i agree with you about that. not my cup of tea either. but to each his own i guess. I guess the old saying, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything still holds true, at least inially when you're meeting people. Then when you get to know someone you can loosen up a bit. I'm still pretty careful about what I say to people in sl. Text based communication can be tricky.

But i wouldn't worry about the banning. Some land owners are trigger happy.

Jack--I was only banned from the one place for making comments about gangster rap. Everything else was compiled from opinions stated on these forums.

I think there is a disconnect between some resident's expectations and some landowner's expectations. Some residents think that SL is 100% public, like the usual mmorpg, and they should be able to go anywhere, do anything, anytime. Many landowners feel that they pay for a particular bit of virtual space and the same rules apply to it as to their RL homes.

I fall mostly into group number two. I co-own Chaos, an island, which is open to the public - in fact we love people exploring (we have to feed the rats somehow ). That said, if someone comes into Chaos and is rude, hostile or annoying, they will be asked to leave. And Ferran and I get to define rude, hostile and annoying - we pay $195/mo for the right.

I think our definitions are pretty normal. We expect visitors to say hi, not shoot up the place, politely leave an area (usually workspace) if asked to. But even if we were completely unreasonable - NO ONE WEARING PINK CAN ENTER CHAOS - then it's still our home, and we get to be that way cause we pay the bills.

My experience when exploring has been good. If I run across people I say Hi, and ask them if they mind me looking around. I've yet to be banned or orbited. Just like RL, I don't open conversations with strangers with comments about sex, religion or politics. If ignored, I figure people are busy and wander on my way.

Final note - the forums have very little to do with SL IMO as far as judging attitudes or expectations. 90% of the folks in-world never come here.

Sorry, I hadn't seen your post about the problems you've had when I was wrighting my response.

Something that I can recomend is something that I learned in High School, which is, "Don't say it," and "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." You also might consider getting a piece of land of your own that you can go to to relax. That made a big difference for me when I was starting out in SL. Before that, I spent a lot of time just standing on the bottown of the lake in the WA.

As for your comment about the rap, I'm sure I would have thought the same thing myself, and just wished that I could say it. You're better off not going to a place that'd ban you for good taste in music.

Why would you go to somebody's land and poop on their ganster rap? I mean, that type of music isn't my cup of tea either, but it's their land and they should be able to play what they like. How would you feel if I dropped down into your real life home and told you that your black velvet painting of Abe Vigoda sucked? Would you let me back in your house?

I was a hacker, I was one of those young people who would find back doors (back doors are not meant as a literal thing, I'm talking about things like certain numbers you can dial that give you a second dial tone, then you dial some more numbers and get a third dial tone and then dial whatever you want) into the phone company to make free long distance phone calls, I hacked games to get them to play differently than they're supposed to, I broke copy protection in games, and that's just part of the hacker mindset--oh, you're going to do that, well I'll show you... type of thing... I'm glad I'm not that way now.


Yes, I would. I prefer being around people who are blunt.

And with the music, I said I didn't want to hear about the N Word, bitches and hoes, and bling bling anymore and that I'd come back later when they're playing something else. They usually never played that kind of music--but that's neither here nor there--I'm glad that I've gotten some more insight through many people's responses on this thread, and it has been extremely helpful.

Me! Me! Me! Pick me! Invite me! I love teh 'shrooms! What is wrong with "those people" who do not like mushrooms? Or onions? Man, way to ruin my cooking experience!

Seriously, though, I think your dinner guest acted appropriately by enjoying the delicious sauce and not calling attention to the fact that she doesn't like mushrooms. Do you really think she had never tried them? I doubt it; most adults already know on which side of the mushroom/onion fences they reside. A polite guest eats what they can at someone's table without calling attention to their own restrictive tastebuds. A good host has alternatives which enable their guest to do so. As much as I love mushrooms, I serve up a bit of sauce without them, just in case. I put any meat in a separate dish to accomodate the vegetarians. Btw, the latter group appreciates a huge portabella cooking on the grill next to the burgers at a summer cookout.

I'd tell you your paint-by-number gambling monkeys sucked too!

Then we could swap art

I second this. As long as you aren't there to grief, I don't mind anything. I'm annoying enough without having to ban/dislike anyone else for being more annoying than me

Not really. Nothing you have described here is hacking, from phone phreaking, to modding/training, to outright software piracy. But even these things were not deliberate attempts to grief somebody, which is what you said you would do if you were younger here in SL.

There is a difference between being blunt, and being rude. I think you could have just left the scene without pooping on what the land owner likes. If, you want to avoid a ban, that is.

OMG! That wasn't a paint-by-numbers ... that was a real life photograph ... and those weren't monkeys ... those were my kids! *crys*

That wasn't Abe Vigoda. It was Mom.

I guess I'm just imagining what I would do if I was that age. I can't really say for sure. When I was that age, I had a few friends that would have definitely done that sort of thing. I guess I was also using the word "hacking" in an extra-generic sense. The way I imagine I would have griefed if I was that age is revenge from being banned from places--I definitely wouldn't have done it just to do it.

That's true, but the way I look at it, if they're a place that was going to change the type of music they play into mostly gangster rap, I probably didn't want to go there anymore anyway--besides, very rarely did anyone even say hi to me there, except an escort who kept offering her L$8,000 half-hour services anyway

----

Now, as far as responding to the comments about wife beaters at a dinner--I understand that. I've ran across some places that want "beautiful people only" right on their signs--I tp out of there as quickly as possible before I get banned LOL

OMG ... you didn't tell us you were ugly too! ... *rushes to ban Fmeh* ...

She may have been allergic to mushrooms.

When I have guests over to eat, I ask about food restrictions such as mushrooms, peanuts, and the like. I even ask about likes and dislikes. This means that sometimes I serve things in separate bowls so those who can partake can add it themselves. But I figure that's better than having someone go into anaphlactic shock in the midst of dinner. By the time everyone gets back from the ER, the food would surely be cold.

BTW, love shrooms myself.

Fmeh, I know you've been around Luskwood some and I -hope- nobody's given you any trouble there for, say, commenting on the music. I know for a fact you aren't banned, but I'd like to comment on some of these - as we've owned A LOT of land for about 3 years now...



I wish more people did that. I really do. I think we've had maybe one or two 'friendly random drop ins' in the last year. They used to happen all the time, and I kinda miss that.



eh. People like to be closet dictators, presidents of their tiny country. Good thing to know on this is, they'll be very lonely in their "backyard kingdom."



I'm not so sure this is a land thing as much as - well, how negative was the comment... "You suck for playing Boston and I hope you get hit by a truck you loser", well ... that may go beyond what's neccessary. But, "I don't really like Jefferson Airplane" shouldn't get you banned anywhere.



Some folks are afraid of 'deformo avs', since they're usually griefers, but I've seen your av and - while it's definitely something you don't see every day, it isn't a deformo.



See "closet dictator" or "backyard kingdom" statement above.



Really the only way to join in, is by joining in.



Okay, do people -really do this- ? I mean, that's kind of like saying, "Some guy who's a murderer was named Bob, so therefore everyone named Bob is a killer." We've got about 5-6 regulars who are unverifieds now.



...And some of our regulars have freebie avs. As a matter of fact, some of our helpers don't even own a single purchased av.



How negative? I've met some people who have information like, "If you're looking at this, you're a loser, and don't pretend I want to talk to a moron like you" --- I wouldn't ban someone like that, but I certainly wouldn't be friendly to them.



yeah well. Been there, done that, been banned.



Depends on what you say. Talking about it, no. Getting *really personally insulting, directed at one person, meant to hurt them*, well, maybe.

Honestly, I haven't gone exploring much in the last year... Though if you look, there are good places and good people out there; best thing is to find those and frequent them the most...

Last year I was going around in my *goth av* and ended up at a *country music spot*. I don't even really like country; talk about oil and water. But they (at Heartland) were probably one of the nicest group of folks I've met in several months. So the content didn't matter to me so much - the people were good, and that made it worth it.

Maybe what we need - is something in the profile of land listings; "Wanderers Welcome", or something... Maybe a registry of places that encourage new folks to drop by...

Re: Spaghetti...

I have celiac disease- I'm totally gluten intolerant, which means no semolina pasta or bread for me. I would've regretably had to leave the whole plate untouched, physically unable to pretend everything was fine without getting horribly ill. And then, if you explain this, you make the host feel bad for you, which you don't want, and if you don't explain it, they feel slighted, which also sucks. Best if I only eat with people who are already in the know, but even then you have to go into what the disease involves, and its a lot more complex than just "no bread or pasta", I have to ask for ingredient lists, and yadda yadda yadda, ends up being waaaaaaay TMI, and everyone involved feels weird about it in the end. I eat a lot of salad with no dressing. Unless they put croutons in it. I would not be a bit surprised if I never got another dinner invitation again.

But back to topic...

I *completely* support the right of landowners to ban/eject on whatever criteria they so choose. We pay good money for our land, and no, we're not all rich. Some of us make a lot of trade-offs in rl to afford our tier, and we should be allowed to do with it what makes us happy whether it's what you, the non-owner and therefore non-payer, would do with it or not. You don't get to tell a landowner that they can't have quiet uninterupted conversations with their personal friends without your input in your first life either, and them wanting to do so doesn't make them unreasonable jerks at all.

But as for my partner and me, we don't ban or otherwise even notice your verified/unverified status unless you've already annoyed us in some way. I *like* it when people check out our land- the whole point of making it attractive and fun for us is to make sure we aren't the only ones who enjoy it. I don't think I'm really in the minority here, in spite of the vocal forum postings I've read lately- many of us judge you only after you've proven yourself to be an irritant. Anyway- I have a short list of what I find particularly offensive so far.

1. Don't ask to touch any part of my anatomy while I am say, shopping for textures. I don't wear any of those "special" parts that make noises or do entertaining particle things anyway. Declaring your undying love/lust for me five minutes after we've met is also not a good plan. It's very distracting, and it's hard enough to find the perfect coordinating mosaic tiles the way it is, although not being able to shop for them in peace for literally days in a row has inspired me to make a few really nice ones myself, so, you know, silver linings and what have you...

2. Don't dash in and start whacking away at me with a large glowy japanese sword while I'm editing my hair or trying out furnature poses. On a similar note, try not to shoot at me while I'm trying on shoes. Especially boots. I have pudgy legs, and it's very hard to get a decent fit whilst being beaten and/or shot at.

3. Don't tip me while I'm editing my appearance in my house- it's a dead giveaway that you've been spying on me, and although I don't wish to appear ungrateful for the extra 10 L, I'd appreciate just not knowing that you're spying on me even more. (Please note: this does not apply to tipping me when I'm dancing at a club, particularly since I'm not a dancer. That was actually very sweet, imo. )

4. Don't try to sell me the freebies you just picked up from Yadni's. I was a newb too once, so I already have all those, and no, I don't believe you when you say you made them all yourself in the three hours since you signed up. Likewise, don't try to sell me plywood boxes. I'm a few months old now- I can make my own boxes, and often do.

5. Don't rez self-replicating objects on my land, or anyone else's. This, I have no sense of humour about. In fact, don't rez anything on my land unless its a box you bought from me. This doesnt *really* include the newb who filled my store with plywood boxes after I explained how to make them... that was my own fault. Still. Please forgive me if I balk at explaining how to make boxes to you.


5. Don't interupt me when I'm building something just to ask me for L$. In fact, even if I'm not building something, just... you know... don't just blatantly ask me for money. Go ask a camping chair. Yeah, it'll prolly screw you over anyway after you've sat there for five hours, but at least it won't be openly hostile about it.

6. Don't ask me to adopt you. I do have children in RL, and I have no desire to play mommy to an adult pretending to be a child, especially someone I don't even know. If you are anything like my first life kids, you'll be rezzing crap all over my land while I'm trying to build stuff and griefing me 24/7 while begging for L$ and giving me plywood boxes.

6. Don't hesitate to say hi to me sincerely, ask for advice and/or help finding good clothes, hair, skins, places to meet nice people, etc. On my own land, or elsewhere, I'm honestly happy to help make your Second Life experience as pleasant as mine is.

There are lots of businesses in SL who have great deals for newbs, and some of them are the very best designers in SL. Obviously, they aren't offended merely by your newbie status any more than I am, and are pleased to help start you on your way to non-newbism. I know when I first started, there were an awful lot of really cool established residents who made me feel welcome with advice, free fun stuff, warm and friendly conversation... this is something to be admired and emulated, considering all the crap people take from the not so nice n00bs who try their best to ruin the game for otherwise very patient people.

Nice begets nice, and I think in spite of the frustrations we all encounter from time to time, most of us are more than happy to give *you* personally the benefit of the doubt. If you truly are one of the good guys, try giving us the same courtesy.

Yes, and me. I like having visitors.

I keep finding those on my property, too. Wonder if it's the same person. If they keep doing it I will regretfully have to ban them.

lol, we have the same problem, so - maybe the dinner invitations need to come from other celiacs?




Amen. great post, agree with all of it.