Got Secks? What exactly is in SL?

I agree The thing is, now that I've come to terms with the above, I'm more comfortable with.. um.. sort of "giving myself permission", to believe that I really am "doing things" that are really just in my head (like the gymnastics example, although I haven't really tried to do that).

I think this can be a difficult thing to learn to do.... and it can be more difficult because the people seen, from the outside, as "most successful" in SL, don't generally do it - or don't do it about the things they're seen as being successful about. It also involves having more trust in people around you.. that they won't just laugh and call you a weird fantasist for doing that kind of thing. Or that they won't use acknowledgement of your fantasy role as a tool to manipulate you with (which some people on SL *will* do - especially "submissives" are notorious for this)

I think it has to have meaning to each person to feel more real. That's why it's so open to personal interpretation.

I've said this before, but I really feel "neutered" when I lose my tail or ears due to a clothing placement. ha ha.

We can't help what we feel, and some of us will feel more than others under different situations.

And those who don't have much in RL will likely feel more in SL. But then I'm speculating to an extent. I just really like watching myself do tai chi

Sure, but the situations themselves can be kind of mixed up.. it's kind of like going to a fancy dress party - usually there'll be some kind of social cue about how much you can "get into" the role you're dressed up as (if indeed you're dressed up as a character with a role) and how much other people will support you in that. I mean, at some fancy dress parties you just dress up and that's all, and you just talk normally about RL things for the whole event, but at the other end you have the "cosplay" parties where acting a little like your character is common and some even have people preparing in-character skits.

The thing is that in SL it's easy to get mixed up, and often hard to "read" a community or a meeting place to find the right level. For example, people's profiles are written at all kinds of levels. Another thing is that many newbie help areas don't really do any of this because, well, they can't - they need to focus on teaching the "deep core" of how to use SL and any smiling character-based comments about, say, a dragon AV breathing fire would inevitably result in confusion before you could count to 5 ("is that on a menu? does it hurt me? since I didn't get the dragon AV can I never do it?". But is that giving a wrong experience and can that be altered?

*nodding*

I try to use people's profiles as an indication as to where they're at with respect to RP, why they're in SL etc. But that's not always possible. But, spend enough time with anyone and eventually it comes to light -- or... just ask. hee

This'd be a good subject for newbies.

I don't think what I'm talking about is really RP, at least not in the sense that phrase is commonly used. What I'm thinking about.. I'll call it "visual acceptance" but that's a kind of awkward phrase.. is a good deal lighter, and less organised than RP.

For example, to continue with the gymnastics example.. if I was to set up a series of animations and perform a routine somewhere, people with what-I'm-calling-"visual acceptance" would watch and maybe enjoy it or comment on quality or sequencing. People *without* visual acceptance would say "huh, it's just a bunch of animations" and ignore or even mock me. Either of those are a far cry from actual "role-players" who might ask me what class I'd learned in or if I'd won anything (or just try to bite me in the neck).

The statement still holds true. SL IS what each of us make it. Create your own Gymnstics anims...or not. Create some neat new gestures...or not. Wander aimlessly to as many SIms as you can...or not. Have FUN in SL!...or not. Lets move on.

No.. because that's another attitude that must be avoided. "SL is what you make it" might be literally true but in conversation with real people, it'll be interpreted to mean "you can do whatever you like on SL if you work hard enough", with the associated implication that anyone who doesn't enjoy SL must be lazy. That bit's not true.

"Anything in SL, beyond the deep core, has significance only in your own mind" is more correct.

Words of wisdom.

- Infrared

In some ways..SL is like Liver.

I have been in SL for just over two weeks and have embarked on an adventure in a virtual online world, including buying land, making friends, and about to start a shop. Some people may not find SL is for them, out of wrong expectations, or exploring enough.

It is true that many people engage in cybersex in SL, but some people find it easier to find a partner than in RL. Circumstances in RL may prevent people from making friends and partners - such as domestic commitments, disabilities, shy personality, or living in an isolated area.

And one should not expect to make money out of being in SL. After a while some one may sell things in their shop and a good aim would be to sell enough to recoup the tier of the land owned or rented. To sell well requires an eye for what is in demand. As I have just started it is not for me to advise. But it seems that well made clothings, skins, animations, and gadgets are in demand. For the benefit of newbies don't fall for the business-in-a-box scam!

Kyros, the original poster, may just be asking "What am I missing?" If so that's a fair question.

However, he may be displaying a trait that I see quite often, one that I don't understand and actually find a bit disturbing.

Some people will come across something like SL, try it, decide they aren't interested and leave. Others will find something like SL, try it, decide they don't like, but they can't leave it at that. For some reason they seem to have the atiitude that if they don't like it no one else should either. They will go out of their way to point out faults and seem obsessed with convincing other they should not like it either.

Any thoughts anyone?

I think OP has been missing since his OP

Mebbe he finally got a little of his own? ^^

Even still further back, Phil did a sort of precursor of "Whatz New?" for a couple of Star Trek cons, and they got published in a book of Trekkie fan toons.

I have seen both attitudes Tex, and another that is even more extreme... the sort that say "you are all sick dumb and perverted... get a life why dont you? I feel sorry for you, you havent got anything better to do than play this stupid game..." And they stand in SL for half an hour telling you this... presumably before they move on to the next person....

I guess it makes them feel superior.. its another form of grief.

imogen

Yes I agree. You see this all over RL as well. I'm not sure if this is a result of an individuals upbringing or a human character flaw. I do think it's at best unhealthy and at worst dangerous. This sort of thinking is where prejudice starts.

You are different than me so you must be inferior.

Oh well, this topic is too gloomy for a Friday afternoon so I'll stop now.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!!!!!

Did you ever watch Fantasy Island all these years ago ..? (yep.. showing my age again!)

Treat it a bit like that and you want go far wrong.. think of LL as the Mr Raorke and Tattoo of SL and you're good to go.

Basically you can look and be and do almost anything you want to. It's pretty immersive and yep from what I can see.. people do get a bit too addicted.

So if you want to escape your jaded sex life and your boring job and you really can't be bothered shifting those few extra lbs in RL, then come to SL.

All of a sudden you've got the body of a baywatch extra, or you're the king of darkness or a fighter pilot.. or the best endowed love machine since.. well I don't know.

And that's only the stories you tell everyone about your RL..

I agree with everyone else.. it is what you want it to be.. nothing more or less.

B

My RL wife and I have been in SL for about a month now.

We discovered it through a news article which showed some residences making money. So we signed up and while I dug deep into building tutorials my wife hit the dance scene.

After about a week of learning and looking around SL it became clear the instant business model isn't going to work and decided to just enjoy the place.

I joined my wife and discovered a whole new set of friends- the social network. I've always been very shy around women but my wife & I have really worked our avatars over. She's amazingly gorgeous and I put Brad Pitt to shame. We both flirt (Small talk only) which we'd never do in RL, and I'm not shy anymore in SL.

The social interaction have really spiced up our RL private time into incredible ways not described here, after +16 years of marriage the spark had fizzled out.

We bought some land and put a house we could never afford RL - our exhotic beach house we're crazy about which serves as an "anchor" in the world and love to hang out, furnish, arrange, party etc.

We're discovering new and amazing sims almost everyday. The creativity is simply amazing, all of them have their own personality built in. I personally like to take my time and really look around at what someone has done. It's easy to miss a lot of things by hastefully flying around.

There is so much more to SL than just my description, so much more to see and experience.

My wife and I enjoy SL so much and almost consider ourselves "home" there. After the daily things in RL is finished we both go SL and really look forward to that. It's definetly reinforced our already strong RL bond.

We've never been a PC gamer but I look forward to 10 years from now with considerably better hardware/software this really has great potential.

I am sure my spouse would write a similar post.

If not having fun in SL what else would we do? Watch TV then go to sleep?

-Zerock

I've introduced many RL friends to SL....because they were curious....they don't "get it"....and couldn't last 3 hours. It was frustrating, because they thought it was silly....and I don't....so I tried to put a finger on what type of personality one has that makes them "get it"....why it amazes me.....and not them.

I think you have to have Imagination and Creativity in your genes and psyche. Patience....to get through the initial learning process. A Hunger to Explore and to learn about other cultures. An Openness to learn about people who are different from you.

Business and Commerce appeals to some....if they have a drive....and like challenges. But if they don't have the above personality....I don't think they can make it that far.

When they came here....they felt like it was cartoon people....where I feel like I'm Real....and others are Real. (which we are...no doubt). I wonder if they feel like everyone at the grocery store in RL are cartoon characters, and simply a backdrop while they pick up a carton of milk. I bet they do. Very limiting.

When I sit by the beach here, and hear the waves....I feel it like it's real....or when I ride a horse....I feel it. And don't forget Love .............they can't feel it. I think everything has to be concrete for them....touch and feel, or it's not there.

They actually look at it negatively....that I can feel it....like I am a poor lost soul, who has to come to SL to live an imaginary life. I feel just the opposite....like they are poor lost souls, who aren't using their Imagination in RL. Socializing in SL is not different from socializing in RL....the props are different....but it's your mind that is doing the talking and feeling. I don't need the RL props....they do. And to be honest....the people I socialize with here are far more interesting!

Those who have open minds...and a flair for creativity....and IMAGINATION will thrive in SL. They will thrive in RL too....because they will have many more life experiences...and have the resources in their head to survive anything.

Even after 2 years....I still come across the most amazing things, and people every day, that make me say WOW! I feel like it's a huge blessing in Life to have the ability to use your mind so that you see WOW in things and people every day....you are using that in RL....and others aren't.

Giving the OP places to explore, and suggestions on how to make it work....I think is futile.....you bring that Imagination from RL....and you "get it" from the minute you log on.....or you don't.

You can't teach Imagination.

Ya know....I could say the same about baseball. What exactly is so interesting....

It's not for everyone, obviously....why whine about it...go find something you DO find interesting and don't worry about it...gees.

My fiance doesn't get it either...he loves gaming, but he likes to have some kind of structure...a story....a first person shooter scenerio where ya kill the bad guys and solve different dilemmas along the way. And actually....I like those games too (ever play F.E.A.R....it rocks~)
But anyway, I digress....SL offers a person a chance to develope their own imagination and interact with-in that context. There's a lot of different things going on....cyber sex is just sort of a ridiculous consequence of any virtual reality venue, lets face it. But....there's a lot more. However.....it's not likely you're going to find a 'job' and make lindens and buy a nice house and support your cyber family....the commerce isn't quite that sophisticated, or that 'realistic'.

So...you know....if it's not your thing....oh well.....cut and run my friend. Baseball aint my thing, so I don't buy tickets and I don't go to games cause I don't want to be bored to tears....but you wont catch me asking why anyone else does enjoy it. Who cares. To each his own. Namaste.

SL is sort of like that, but you orbit the bad guys and solve different dramas along the way.

ZOMG he asks what is there to do?

D R E A M and L I V E the D R E A M.

Make new F R I E N D S

Make new L O V E R S

B U I L D your D R E A M

R E M A K E yourself

P L A Y a R O L E

Become a N E W S P E C I E S

Have P R I M B A B I E S (yes i did go there)

Get a L I F E where your first life fails

Gain some small business savvy in our closed little world

I feel like breaking out into a Sound of Music song.

I've been in SL for a little less than a month. I log in every day, spend a lot of my free time in SL, post like a spam bot on another SL forum, and I am -still- trying to figure out SL and if it is something for me for long. But I find the idea of SL intriguing and it has so much possibility. The one thing I have learned is that the biggest limitations are imposed by me, not SL or its activities or community.


Why? I don't think that is the only reason people join SL, but if it was - why would it be wrong? It would be the wrong place for me (and I assume for you) to spend my time as I am not interested in this, but I don't see it as inherently wrong.

What kind of things would you like to do? Maybe if you can provide some ideas, people here will offer suggestions. I have found it hard to discover the types of places and activities for me, but people here and on another SL forum have been very helpful when asked for specific help.

Hope you find your fun, on SL or elsewhere.

If that's all you've seen I'm not surprised you don't think much of SL. SL has so much more to offer than that.

Have you seen the creative side of it? The many art galleries, art and culture events, including live music - you name it you'll find it in SL. It allows you to express your creativity, whatever form it may take, aswell.

Then there is the extensive social aspect of it. There are hundreds of groups covering as many interests and hobbies as you could think of: politics, charities, support groups , spiritual interests, religious interests, sport, philosophy, music,fan based groups (for films, tv shows, books etc.), artistic interests, relationship groups, clubbing groups, commercial groups, and hundreds more I don't even know about.

Many groups give free classes and discussions on their related topics, so there are RL things that can be learnt in-world, and many large RL companies that hold talks in SL too, and have their own land where they display info about their area of expertise.

Many people find it give s them an opportunity to meet other like minded people, and meet people from around the world they just wouldn't normally be able to, and even make new friends.

If you want to play it just as a 'game', there are role-playing groups too.

And if you don't fancy any of that, you can just have fun being creative or exploring the many interesting places that others have created. Some are really very beautiful, and the creativity is amazing.

Rather than writing off SL, why not explore it a bit more. You may be pleasantly surprised.

The key to SL is realising it's mostly meant for people who are highly visual - people who will think something is "realer" just because it has an appearance.

If you'll feel like a model because you have a beautiful avatar, you'll probably enjoy SL. If feeling like a model would require someone else to pay you thousands to pose for them (what - I think - psychologists call "social proof" then probably you won't, because that's no more available in SL than it is in RL.

There is a lot of creativity in world, but SL is no longer as ideal as a creative tool as it once was. If you're interested in viewing other people's, though, that's much easier.



And this is where I have to point out a flaw - many of the groups in SL are dead. Many are alive, too, and those are the ones you want, obviously. But the problem is that SL never closes down a group, even if it has no active avatars. I really think this needs to be changed, because it dramatically increases the possibility of someone joining a group and finding it dead, then another, then another, and then concluding that all groups are meaningless. It's just as another person from this forum mentioned to me in-world - bots using human avatars is dangerous because it increases further and further the possibility of somebody finding that every person they meet is a bot.