Second Life Forums Archive - Got Secks? What exactly is in SL?

Kryos Ugajin

Registered User

Join date: 22 Jun 2008

Posts: 4

07-03-2008 10:55

Ok, so it's been over a week since I started my "second life". Quite a bit I hear about how people are addicted to SL and they are "balancing it with their RL", but I don't understand it.

What exactly is so interesting about this? Am I missing something? I mean... I search the employment section, and 95% of it is all club jobs. Modeling is an elitist job in the sense that all the current models generally dominate an somewhat empty market. What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

I say again; What is there to balance? What is there to be addicted to? I made a habit of going to NCI classes. I went to Basic SL and Basic Building classes, this was 5 days ago. Since then NCI hasn't really had the 2nd tier of classes, but they've had about 50 basic classes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't see what is so interesting about SL. Not only is it relatively empty right now, its mainly just about social interaction (aka cyber sex) and a bunch of professional rl people trying to market on the faux paus of others. Does anyone have anything to say in response to this? I am finding it very hard adapting here. I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't, and I am beginning to think that it really won't ever happen, because other than "Cyber Sex" there really isn't anything to do. I find myself sitting around at infohubs wandering around the search menu until I have an extreme urge to logout.

What am I missing here? Should I even continue to bother at all?

Edit:

From: someone

05:55 PM

^^^ freakyness

Rhaorth Antonelli

Registered User

Join date: 15 Apr 2006

Posts: 7,425

07-03-2008 10:59

SL is what you make it

you can socialize, you can build, create, etc

or you can wander around aimlessly, it is up to you

as to what makes people stay, not everyone does

some like it, some don't

only you can decide what it is about SL that makes you want to stay... or not

_____________________

From: someone

Morpheus Linden: But then I change avs pretty often too, so often, I look nothing like my avatar.

They are taking away the forums... it could be worse, they could be taking away the forums AND Second Life...

Kryos Ugajin

Registered User

Join date: 22 Jun 2008

Posts: 4

07-03-2008 11:04

I honestly bring this up to discussion because I do not see SL surviving under such circumstances. This has to be about more than escaping reality, or we are not using this "virtual world" properly. If people only come here to masturbate RL, something is very wrong with this "game".

Amaranthim Talon

Voyager, Seeker, Curious

Join date: 14 Nov 2006

Posts: 12,032

07-03-2008 11:05

Best answer ever Rha

Kryos- there is considerably more than just cyber and infohubs- think of it as life some where else. Get around a bit and give it a chance- hard to decide worth on such short time- like Rhaorth said- it's not fro everyone.

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Skell Dagger

Smitten

Join date: 26 Jun 2007

Posts: 1,885

07-03-2008 11:06

From: Kryos Ugajin

What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

Tell me when Armani and Lagerfeld start creating SL clothing and I will SO be there. And in all honesty, half of the 'professional' builds I've visited that were made by/on behalf of RL industries aren't half as good as a lot of the resident-created content. You know, the stuff made by us crappy part-time, hobbyist builders

From: Kryos Ugajin

I went to Basic SL and Basic Building classes, this was 5 days ago.

Five days isn't a long time. You don't get instant results in Second Life. Looking for your Second Life is akin to trying to get to sleep when you're not tired. Look too hard and you'll grow so frustrated by not finding it that you'll give up. It's only when you give up that you'll chance upon it.

From: Kryos Ugajin

I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't,

If you're only in Second Life to mirror your first life and get a job, then you might be disappointed. SL jobs don't pay very well for a start (as a rule, anyway). I'm here to escape RL, so I certainly don't want a job in SL! YMMV, though, of course.

From: Kryos Ugajin

I find myself sitting around at infohubs wandering around the search menu until I have an extreme urge to logout.

So would I, if I only sat around at infohubs and wandered around the search menu. Try looking up some SL blogs (there are hundreds out there) - many of them review great places that you can go and explore.

Amity Slade

Registered User

Join date: 14 Feb 2007

Posts: 2,183

07-03-2008 11:07

From: Kryos Ugajin

I honestly bring this up to discussion because I do not see SL surviving under such circumstances.

Yet it has, for five years.

Chris Norse

Loud Arrogant Redneck

Join date: 1 Oct 2006

Posts: 5,735

07-03-2008 11:09

From: Kryos Ugajin

I honestly bring this up to discussion because I do not see SL surviving under such circumstances. This has to be about more than escaping reality, or we are not using this "virtual world" properly. If people only come here to masturbate RL, something is very wrong with this "game".

Oh great another reformer come to tell us we are all doing it wrong. There is no "proper" way to use SL. If people come here to masturbate, chat, shop, dance, or just rez and delete plywood boxes all day, as long as it makes them happy and they aren't hurting anyone else, then they are using it properly.

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Kathy Morellet

Registered User

Join date: 26 Jul 2006

Posts: 809

07-03-2008 11:09

From: Rhaorth Antonelli

SL is what you make it

you can socialize, you can build, create, etc

or you can wander around aimlessly, it is up to you

as to what makes people stay, not everyone does

some like it, some don't

only you can decide what it is about SL that makes you want to stay... or not

QFT

I hang out with friends, build stuff for my own amusement (haven't sold a thing), explore the world and see what others have created. Haven't done the "cyber" thing in more than a year.

Sometimes I get into something and can't get myself to log out, other times I get bored silly and can't log out fast enough.

Jobs in SL are, as you have seen, less than stellar. Buy a few L$, explore and talk to people.

MortVent Charron

Can haz cuddles now?

Join date: 21 Sep 2007

Posts: 1,942

07-03-2008 11:10

From: Kryos Ugajin

I honestly bring this up to discussion because I do not see SL surviving under such circumstances. This has to be about more than escaping reality, or we are not using this "virtual world" properly. If people only come here to masturbate RL, something is very wrong with this "game".

If you can not go out and find interesting stuff, or socialize in a non sexual manner... then it's not a failure of SL

As for building, most of the ones out there making products... are not professional game developers but people that went out there and learned the tools and experimented till they understood them inside and out. Nobody can show you how to carve a statue in RL, they can teach you how to chip the stone and the basics needed to do it. You have to practice and hone the skills.

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3Ring Binder

always smile

Join date: 8 Mar 2007

Posts: 15,028

07-03-2008 11:10

From: Kryos Ugajin

Ok, so it's been over a week since I started my "second life". Quite a bit I hear about how people are addicted to SL and they are "balancing it with their RL", but I don't understand it.

What exactly is so interesting about this? Am I missing something? I mean... I search the employment section, and 95% of it is all club jobs. Modeling is an elitist job in the sense that all the current models generally dominate an somewhat empty market. What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

I say again; What is there to balance? What is there to be addicted to? I made a habit of going to NCI classes. I went to Basic SL and Basic Building classes, this was 5 days ago. Since then NCI hasn't really had the 2nd tier of classes, but they've had about 50 basic classes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't see what is so interesting about SL. Not only is it relatively empty right now, its mainly just about social interaction (aka cyber sex) and a bunch of professional rl people trying to market on the faux paus of others. Does anyone have anything to say in response to this? I am finding it very hard adapting here. I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't, and I am beginning to think that it really won't ever happen, because other than "Cyber Sex" there really isn't anything to do. I find myself sitting around at infohubs wandering around the search menu until I have an extreme urge to logout.

What am I missing here? Should I even continue to bother at all?

Edit:

^^^ freakyness

you sure seem to know a lot about this place for only having been around one week or less. hmmmm

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Fand Aeon

Registered User

Join date: 17 Nov 2007

Posts: 258

07-03-2008 11:11

I come into SL, I have land, a wonderful partner, I landscape and can change my surrounds with a click of a mouse. I have met great people from all over the world. I have dogs and other animals all over my land. Stuff I can't have irl.

I explore the builds of others, there are some awesome places, I ride horses, drive my dune buggy under the sea, windsurf. I will go to a dance once in a while, I NEVER have a bad hair day.

You may think this is boring, but this is MY SL, what I want to do. You have to find what you want to do. You create your own fun.

Victorria Paine

Sleepless in Wherever

Join date: 13 Jul 2007

Posts: 1,110

07-03-2008 11:16

From: Kryos Ugajin

Ok, so it's been over a week since I started my "second life". Quite a bit I hear about how people are addicted to SL and they are "balancing it with their RL", but I don't understand it.

What exactly is so interesting about this? Am I missing something? I mean... I search the employment section, and 95% of it is all club jobs. Modeling is an elitist job in the sense that all the current models generally dominate an somewhat empty market. What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

I say again; What is there to balance? What is there to be addicted to? I made a habit of going to NCI classes. I went to Basic SL and Basic Building classes, this was 5 days ago. Since then NCI hasn't really had the 2nd tier of classes, but they've had about 50 basic classes.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't see what is so interesting about SL. Not only is it relatively empty right now, its mainly just about social interaction (aka cyber sex) and a bunch of professional rl people trying to market on the faux paus of others. Does anyone have anything to say in response to this? I am finding it very hard adapting here. I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't, and I am beginning to think that it really won't ever happen, because other than "Cyber Sex" there really isn't anything to do. I find myself sitting around at infohubs wandering around the search menu until I have an extreme urge to logout.

What am I missing here? Should I even continue to bother at all?

Edit:

^^^ freakyness

The thing is, if you don't like to build, explore or socialize .. well then yeah, you won't like SL. If you think all socialization is cybersex, you really aren't seeing things clearly, as well.

People do form meaningful relationships in SL, even if you can't wrap your mind around how that might happen.

Damien1 Thorne

Registered User

Join date: 26 Aug 2007

Posts: 4,877

07-03-2008 11:17

Exploring and meeting people is a good way to start. Get away from the info hubs and search for places to explore. There are incredible builds out there and many incredible people.

Although there are alot of sex places and people wanting to "mak sechz" it isn't the most important part of sl. I was at a beautiful garden build last night with a lovely young lady last night where we explored the gardens and sat and talked for quite awhile. No sex was involved but I had a great time.

Go to NCI and check out the classes. Don't give up after a week.

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As we fade into the darkness...

Lindal Kidd

Dances With Noobs

Join date: 26 Jun 2007

Posts: 8,371

07-03-2008 11:19

Your glass is half empty, and you're crying into it.

Haven't you ever wondered what you might make of your life if you could go back to some key decision and do it over again? SL gives you the chance.

Have you always wanted to be a creator, not a cubicle monkey? SL gives you the chance. (And, by the way, the most successful merchants in SL are NOT real life corporations and game developers. They're individual residents, just like you.)

Have you never found your soulmate? Chances are against it, but you might, here, if you are open to the possibility and are very lucky.

Would you like to live your life without your choices being constrained by the tax collector, the need to pay rent, the necessity of paying for food and medical care? What would your life be like if you could afford a big house, a fancy car, a yacht, a private plane, a second home on a tropical island paradise? You can have all that in SL, and for quite a lot less than the $50 you've spent so far.

Do you like fantasy, or horror, or science fiction? SL gives you the opportunity to play a character in all these genres, and more.

All of that, and more, is possible in Second Life. But not everyone can see that...and if you can't, you can't.

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It's still My World and My Imagination! So there.
Lindal Kidd

Sassy Romano

Registered User

Join date: 27 Feb 2008

Posts: 619

07-03-2008 11:19

Absolutely right!

There's no point in SL at all...unless you make one.

Imagine getting up in the morning and asking yourself "so what shall I do today?" I'm not saying you're one of them but some people in SL seem to think that things happen *to* them and I overheard (or is that over-read) one guy on Orientation Island saying "well i've edited my appearance a few times, i've walked around a bit, what's the point of this?"

The social interaction is of course a large element but so is your RL. At least for most people anyay.

I've tried to do all sorts of things, typically things that I wouldn't do in RL and i'm always looking for more ways to explore myself living vicariously through my avatar.

SL for me is about me putting myself into my av and entering a world of imagination. I know for some it's merely a case of "Hi, i'm Pierre, i'm 26 from Paris, you?" which is just MSN/Yahoo etc with pictures. That's not for me.

One guy asked to talk to me in a place of dubious morals (uh oh, here we go again), the dialogue went like this:-

Him: so you want sex?
Me: oh wait, where's my meal, the dancing, the walks in the park...romance?
Him: not possible in SL!
Me: sure it is, where's your sense of adventure?
Him: (pompously) IT'S IN REAL LIFE!!
Me: but your sex life is in SL???

He walked off...

Sassy.
function IncreaseAvatarIQBy50
{
llDetachFromAvatar("Blonde Hair"

;
llAttachToAvatar("Black Hair"

;
}

Aree Lulibub

Registered User

Join date: 21 Jan 2007

Posts: 198

07-03-2008 11:21

Search these forums for some of the "Cool places to visit" threads. Write down the destinations and meander around. I'm still amazed on a daily basis at what people are able to create in SL and I've been here for a year and a half. SL is what you make of it.

Amaranthim Talon

Voyager, Seeker, Curious

Join date: 14 Nov 2006

Posts: 12,032

07-03-2008 11:21

The best part of SL is the people

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Virrginia Tombola

Equestrienne

Join date: 10 Nov 2006

Posts: 938

07-03-2008 11:21

From: Kryos Ugajin

What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

Hmmm....I sense a bit of trollishness here, but I shall bite on this.

What is the point of creating in RL, when there are all those professionals out there?

Want to write a blog? Ha! You fool, go to the library, open a random book and read things far better crafted than you ever will write.

Learning to play guitar? You must be an idiot, as I can buy anything I want online and download it to my ipod whilst you are still learning to tune that thing.

Why play a sport? People will only laugh at you when the pros are so much better.

Care to log onto SL and learn to make 3D objects and texture? There's already people so much more talented than you.

Log off of SL, log off of RL, sit on a couch and turn on your television set and watch others have better lives than you have. After all, they deserve it, because they didn't give up when people told them they were stupid to ever think they'd make it in acting, in writing, in music or a thousand other things that make life worth living.

<rant off>

(I forget the message board protocol; I am allowed one good rant per 500 posts, correct?)

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Trout Recreant

Public Enemy No. 1

Join date: 24 Jul 2007

Posts: 4,873

07-03-2008 11:24

From: Chris Norse

Oh great another reformer come to tell us we are all doing it wrong. There is no "proper" way to use SL. If people come here to masturbate, chat, shop, dance, or just rez and delete plywood boxes all day, as long as it makes them happy and they aren't hurting anyone else, then they are using it properly.

To the OP: why don't you make some friends and explore what other people have done. I don't mean make friends to have sex with or explore orgy rooms or whatever. Try hanging out with some interesting people and getting to know them, and explore some of the amazing builds that are out there. Take some classes if you are interested in something, or attend a live music event where you can interact with the musician as he or she plays. Try flying an airplane - expect hilarious crashing to occur. Forget about a job for a while. Just enjoy and if you find something you like doing, try to make some dough off of it. Or not. I have a lot of things I enjoy, and I don't make a penny off of them, because i don't want the pressure of having to do something. Jobs tie you down. I need one in RL, because I like living inside and eating the occasional meal, but In SL, who cares? I can do what i want, when I want with whomever is dumb enough to hang out with me.

It's whatever you make of it. Don't get too wrapped up in what you think you ought to be doing. Just go have fun figuring out what is out there first.

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Lindal Kidd

Dances With Noobs

Join date: 26 Jun 2007

Posts: 8,371

07-03-2008 11:27

Well said, Miss Tombola!

(and by the way, I see on your blog that you're a big fan of Girl Genius. Me too! I love Agatha. In fact, I've adored Phil Foglio's work since long before GG. He is a classic slapstick humorist who happens to be a talented artist as well. Be sure to read his "Buck Godot" comics and other earlier work).

_____________________

It's still My World and My Imagination! So there.
Lindal Kidd

Karl Herber

Registered User

Join date: 23 Jun 2006

Posts: 228

07-03-2008 11:27

Two points:

From: Kryos Ugajin

What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

Not true. Nearly everything in SL is created by amateurs, regular users like me and you. All it takes is the willingness to learn some skills in things like Photoshop, Poser, etc.

From: Kryos Ugajin

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just don't see what is so interesting about SL. Not only is it relatively empty right now, its mainly just about social interaction (aka cyber sex) and a bunch of professional rl people trying to market on the faux paus of others. Does anyone have anything to say in response to this? I am finding it very hard adapting here. I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't, and I am beginning to think that it really won't ever happen, because other than "Cyber Sex" there really isn't anything to do. I find myself sitting around at infohubs wandering around the search menu until I have an extreme urge to logout.

What am I missing here? Should I even continue to bother at all?

Maybe not. It's just possible that you're the sort of person that wouldn't find anything to keep their attention in SL. And you wouldn't be the only one - most people try it for a week or two and never go back.

I wonder if you're expecting too much about "getting a job". Getting a job is not the goal of SL and many people, myself included, don't bother to have one. You're right though, aside from content creation, nearly all the other jobs are club/sex jobs. If thats not your thing, don't stress about finding a job at all. You don't need one.

I think what you're missing the most is people. My SL experience is almost entirely focussed on my social circle (and no sex. I get enough of that in RL). Without my friends, I wouldn't log on either.

Infohubs are not the best places to find a good social circle though. Too many people go there to make trouble. Try hanging out in the sandbox at NCI, practise the skills you learned in the classes, and chat to people hanging round there. Try The Shelter, which is very welcoming to new people.

Search on interests you have, whatever those may be; for instance do you like a certian type of music? Jazz? Country? Maybe you're into Science Fiction. Buddhism. Vampires. Roleplaying games. Live music.

Go to a club, go to events, join relevent groups. There is a LOT to do thats not sex and clubbing, and nearly all of it will show up in Search.

You've not been in-world long. It took me about three or four weeks to "get it".

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Cristalle Karami

Lady of the House

Join date: 4 Dec 2006

Posts: 6,222

07-03-2008 11:31

If you are not the creative type and don't find building engaging, there are plenty of things to see and do with people that do not involve sex. Very little here is made by "professionals" or is for corporate purposes.

Some people make their second lives like a dollhouse - a miniature of rl. Some people make it into a fantasy world, where they are furry, vampire, etc. and very little resembles reality. What kinds of things appeal to you? There are groups out there for everything. Find a group that is oriented toward things you like and make some friends (without benefits).

Going to visit the SL5B displays would probably be good for you, to see what it is that people do.

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Ghosty Kips

Elora's Llama

Join date: 2 May 2008

Posts: 2,386

07-03-2008 11:46

From: Kryos Ugajin

Ok, so it's been over a week since I started my "second life".

...

What exactly is so interesting about this? Am I missing something? I mean... I search the employment section, and 95% of it is all club jobs. Modeling is an elitist job in the sense that all the current models generally dominate an somewhat empty market. What else is there? Building? Fashion? What is the point of such things when RL industries, and RL game developers, are in SL, building and creating 1000x better than you ever will?

...

I have spent $50 bucks and by any standard I should be more than ready to find a job and get a "Second Life" but I haven't, and I am beginning to think that it really won't ever happen, because other than "Cyber Sex" there really isn't anything to do.

...

What am I missing here? Should I even continue to bother at all?

Aside from social interaction, creative outlets in building, animation, machinima (sp?), texturing and scripting, opportunities to make at least a few linden (whatever that might represent for you) via your own skills, and yes, "cyber sex" (which happens to have very little to do with poseballs, really - I get the idea you're not up on the art) ... yes, I'd say you don't get it.

Yet.

Give yourself more than a week. Forget buying lindens and explore. Explore remote places, and talk to people you find along the way. Learn how to do the creative things not because you might be as good as some professional but because you discover you enjoy doing it.

SL and RL share a common thread - you get out what you put in. You need more than $50 in linden and a week's time to really see what the grid is about.

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