Are you "Comfortable" with your avatar?

oops! sowwy!

Interesting comments on the gender point. Seems many have an avatar or alt even of the opposite sex but are afraid of them.

A historical point that will make regulars here groan but I'll be quick When I created Bilbo for a quick hour or two test of this thing SecondLife I saw the box male/female and thought heck! better to follow a cute female ass around than a scale model of mine! So, for the first few days till I dragged Morgaine kicking and screaming in, Bilbo was a girl.

I never consciously made Bilbo (MkII) like me. Morgaine says there's a resemblance .. mmm same number of heads yeah ... but Bilbo by and large is a vehicle for traversing this wild and fantastic world. For whatever reason I could not stir up enthusiasm for a non-human avatar but one of the regular 'kids' here came up with the perfect phrasing that the creation of an alt is like a rebirth. RL was a bit grim for me at Bilbos creation but 6 months later down the line, disaster. Out of some mechanism of avoidance, I created Emma. Emma was new .. very definitely not Bilbo and had a new life. It wasn't the perfect solution but a workaround. I was very confused and depressed and out of the debris Morgaine and I managed to dig ourselves out and share a better understanding of ourselves.

When I log my alts, I'm still escaping that disastrous history but I know now it's only for the duration of the login. They are all me. They just don't all feel the same pain.

hahaha

This is a big pet peeve of mine, unless they are open about it. Otherwise it just smacks too much of trying to play mind games with people.

This is a very interesting discussion. I never thought I looked much like myself in RL, so I'm happy to have the opportunity to find out what I really do look like. I came to SL a few weeks ago as a refugee from another online world that was closing down. I started out trying to recreate that avatar, but the more I worked on Kerryth over the first two or three weeks, the more she insisted on taking control of the process and becoming herself/myself. The skins, hair and eyes may change, the corsets may go on and off to fit the clothes, but the shape has come into focus, and when I look at her now, I see me. I'm not at the point where I'm even thinking of making an alt yet.

I see myself as an improvement over my RL self. There are some similarities - we both are female, have black hair and brown eyes, and are of Scottish descent. However, I am a purebred, and she is a mutt, and I have many fine canine attributes that she could not possibly aspire to since she is a mere human. Poor thing. It's so much better to be a dog.

I didn't join SL intending to be a kid; and when I became one, I never planned on staying that way. But, that's the way it happened. Now my closest SL friends - some of whom wanted me to change at first - say that they couldn't imagine me being anything else. So yes, I'm pretty comfortable with my avatar.

<Lurk Mode OFF>

Threads like this always fascinate me because Morganna has been around a long time and is very much a part of the ratava behind the keyboard. I have two mains, one is my vampire domme personality and the other is the "rest" of me...SHE has the husband, kids and flat shoes For me my avatars are simply extensions of different facets of my personality and life...which explains why I only have two :^)

Back in the "stone age" before there were pretty pictures and graphical chats we had EWII talkers, MUDs and MUSHs and that's where Morg was first "born" as a Persona in a loose VtM FFRPG. I had to write up her description and it's never changed so when I joined SL I spent a lot of time, effort and lindens to find the exact shape, skin and hair to fit the mental picture I carry in my head of Morg because I don't change. My clothing, shoes and the odd costume from time to time...but Morg is always Morg.

Morg is a general heretic and a non-conformist...so she has pale skin, scarlet hair and curves. Never bought into the whole androgynous, white faced, black hair Goth uniform but I do have an inordinate amount of black and red in my SL wardrobe. Having said that it's just as likely to see Morg wearing jeans and a Tshirt...and my fangs \v--v/

So am I "comfortable" in my avatar...well we've rubbed along now together for over 10 yrs so I guess I am

<Lurk mode ON>

Most of the time im a vampire, so that is my default av look. I am very comfortable with it and i see no limitations with it. If someone doesnt like the way i look, i will just tell them to not look at me then. but i havent had anyone say that. most of the time i am told that i look very good.

I've been enjoying reading all these replies. It's really nice to see that so many people have so much of a bond to their avatar beyond an artificial face. I guess this is more of the reason why I like SL.

Colette - I'm not troubled at all about your opinion of kid avatars. It's yours, I respect it. SL is a big world and you're in the adult portion of it. That's all the more reason to appreciate the sheer scale of things.

Milla - Heh... I'm fighting my own demons in SL every day. You want solitary? Try dealing with shuddering every time you hear a human voice... Then double it if the voice is disembodied. I've been able to keep voice chat enabled for months now, but there are still moments when I get chills hearing someone speak. I am using brute force to keep myself social, because at the moment, SL is all I got.

Conifer - I can see where you're coming from... When I started, I was all about customizing. But somehow I randomly had a goal and I didn't even realize it until I noticed that I've spent a month without touching a single slider on my shape. I'm still on hair and clothing rotation every few hours, but the me that you see is pretty constant now. I've even noticed that my reputation precedes me... Somehow I have met the expectation of some people I have just recently met... I'm still trying to figure that one out. (o.o)

Toy - Wanna hear something funny? ... I kinda did the same thing. When I was still working on making the freebie little shape I found my own, I had the goal of keeping myself as short as possible... But with a twist. All my shoes have about a 4" rise. (=_=)

Max - You haven't seen me chatting with my alt yet. I can't trust her with anything. It's like every time I say something she wants to file for alt abuse!

Dakota - I know what you mean. A lot of people I know are afraid of intolerance of kid avatars. But, for the people that really know me, it's more troubling for them to see me go tall for a day. Somehow, I have become trapped in myself here. I don't mind, like I said, it's how I'm most comfortable too. (^_^)

Cherry - LULZ! Yeah, the subs I know so far are very strong willed as far as I can see. They're very strict about their RP and will gladly smack anyone for a single line of chat outside of IMs because it risks the wrath of their dom. Still... Nobody will ever be able to dominate, rule, or parent over me here. I keep my armclaw on at all times just in case someone thinks they can cross that line.

This thread has been a great read for me. In many ways, I feel better in having such a connection with what/who I choose to be in SL because I'm clearly not alone in thinking this way. (^_^)y

Now... only if the grid would GET BACK ONLINE!!!!! (>_<

Interesting post - thanks for this one "Side." Best one I've read in a long time. My page just refreshed ... ugh - so now I have to rewrite everything. Ack!

Anyhoooo ... I'm very comfortable in my avatar(s) skin(s), however, neither of them are me. My adult avatar is petite, redheaded and freckle faced. She is incredibly sassy, fun-loving (okay that part is me), and avoids drama like the plague. In real life I step up to issues - and assist. In SL - I walk away from them - unless its a friend and they need me to listen. She stays away from adult sims - that is one thing my RL "human" is not comfortable with. I have a real life, and its good ... I have no desire to virtually experience adult content in game. Because I desire to stay away from adult content - or perhaps because I decided to try something different, this avatar (the Faith avatar) role plays a child. I role play her because I have FUN role playing a child. It has nothing to do with my childhood, or any lack in my real life childhood. Its simply because it is fun, funny and very cute. I love children ... I loved being a kid ... and I love doing things that kids do with my avatar. For me, its as simple as that.

My avatar has been fortunate to be adopted into a wonderful family - and I care for each of them very much. Some have needs for the virtual family - and I respect those needs - everyone is different - we are a diverse culture in and out of Second Life.

If I did not have fun role-playing, then I wouldn't do it. If I did not enjoy the company of my family - and there was too much drama - then I wouldn't do it (there will always be a modicum of drama - no matter where you go - and I do tend to still stay on the fringe of it).

Anyway - that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I suppose I'm a little weird in that I don't "relate" to my characters - to me, that is what they are. They do come with real life feelings, however -- I care for those who are a part of my Second Life (both avatars). I do have to admit I have more fun playing a "child" avatar. There's just so much you can do with the imagination to make it enjoyable and I happen to have the best SL family ever (and probably one of the biggest).

Yeah, I don't HAVE ta use a Black av just because I'm Black IRL, but I do, and yeah that has put me through a few funny and irritating moments on the Grid every once in a while. I could have easily changed early on to a robot or a White av way back, but instead I made my avatar into a cartoon/action figure version of myself.

I have always researched street subcultures & whatnot, I love action & horror movies, I have tattoos all over the place, I like ta shoot...I jammed all of that into my av. Twice I got a "Village People" comment, and I just said "Yeah because there's no Black bikers in RL right.", and they shut up and apologized. The same went for "Mr. T comments, lol.

It's kinda funny, because it's like the immersion in SL hits folks a lot harder than past attempts at a virtual social environment, by other companies. Folks seem to have a strong 1st impression of you, like in RL, and they seem to carry thier prejudices over, whereas years ago, everybody was consciously aware for the most part of the ever-present 2D avs. The avs almost seemed like they "got in the way" sometimes, even. NOW, it's like YOU get in the way of the avatar. I'm tellin ya, whoever opens up a big "stripclub" with scripted bots who run as smooth as the ones from Sine Wave will probably rack up the L$.

I have other avatars, like a skeleton, or what have you, but I keep my Black biker/zombie hunter av, regardless of what kinda negative reactions he gets. Xio's my av, not thiers. *shrugs*

Nice thread. Gummi is a bizarre construct when compared to so many SL avs because - introspecting about him for a minute - almost none of him is thought up by me "from scratch" - there never was a blank sheet of paper. "Doktor Gummi" was one of my club nicknames in RL, and I was already used to having it shouted at me in several situations before I came to SL.

Then there's the Av: I fiddled about with the sliders when I first arrived - not with the objective of looking like an idealised me, just to get away from the default enough to escape n00b accusations (I had some idea these would be bad, but not just HOW bad...). Only later did I find out how close my subconscious had steered me to my RL appearance - stubbly chin, mixture of fat n muscle, and all.

Then I realised there were some strange subcultures in SL: the transformation fans, and all that their RP implies - and the Honorary Women: men who play as women, including the bitchy rejection of other men. I found those types just so weird that just about my first ever conscious Avatar appearance decision was not to join their ranks. I just couldn't immerse myself so thoroughly in the two-facedness that this whole scene seems to carry with it.

I have tried female avs, and I have a female alt whose play is so different that I barely recognize her as "me" - as a result, she doesn't get let out much. I realised I am happier being rejected for what I honestly am, by liars, than being accepted by others who I need not discover to be liars or truth-tellers. I don't do animals or robots, but only because nobody or nothing has yet suggested an RP to me that would make those make sense.

True story - when I was a child and went on car trips with my family, I loved sticking my head out the window (until the day the wind turned my eyelashes inside out and I rethought that idea) but anyway...

I was always being told to NOT do that and made to sit still in the car "like a little lady" (my Grandmother's famous line).

At one of those grade school events where children are asked what they want to be when they grow up, without missing a beat I proclaimed, "A dog - so I can ride in the car and stick my head out the window!"

Pale skin, scarlet hair and curves = heretic and non-conformist?

/Czari looks in mirror

Uh-oh

Not an alt, but I have an avatar that's basically a giant bird with a little guy riding him. The rider works like a pet, basically, but you can name him and get him to talk by typing what you want him to say into the right channel.

One of my favorite gags is to carry on a running conversation with him like a ventriloquist does with his dummy. It's pretty obvious what I'm doing when I do it. I don't know if it's actually funny or not, but it makes me happy, so I'm going to keep doing it.

My daughter looked at my *me* Avatar and accused me of making it look like her! (she's 15)

I responded... no, I tried to make it look like me when I was 20......

I could tell by the look on her face that she couldn't beleive that I was ever 20....*sigh*


I also have a Vampire Girl Avatar that I like to use in more Adult or Role Play situations, I like her because she's strong, powerful, aggressive and confident... and because her heart is already dead..it can't be hurt.

You can't be a non-conformist if you don't drink coffee. (=_=)y

....and play football with the seats at the lecture amphitheatre

Oh ... I love that! I'd love to see your avie ... and think it would be hysterical (the running conversation) ... well ... if its witty I would. If not, I'd still be amused - but less so.

YAY! I think more people see the benefits in being a dog than will fess up to it.

The other day, my RL self was stuck in traffic and a Scottish Terrier that looked just like me stuck its head out of the car in the other lane and barked at me in a friendly way. I think it knew about me!

If I ever see it, I'll make sure to "lol" just so you don't feel bad.

It does when you add the fangs \v--v/ I usually find myself surrounded by white faced underfed waifs with coal black hair and dripping/torn black lace. I feel compelled to put on pastel flowery dresses and/or my nice tailored jeans...just to watch them gag and say "that's not GOTH!" This leads to the interesting discussions of how the word gothic meant something more than bad poetry and industrial music and used to have more letters

Generally at this point they run away and leave me alone...<EG>

It's somewhat bizarre the comments i get in relation to my avatar... I've been told that I'm just being awkward having an av that stands 5'1" in a world of giants; but I've tried "conforming" and being taller but it simply doesn't sit right with me.

Strangely, those people I've had some romantic involvement with always seem to want to "downsize" to fit in with me better, which I find both disappointing and unnecessary. They are who they are, and I am who I am; and neither should hold sway on the other. OK... so it can make for interesting mechanics when it comes to poseballs and all that; but seing as I'm not a particularly tactile person and have a rather large comfort bubble, even online (read half a sim, most of the time) it usually doesn't come into play.

Occasionally I get some cookiecutter 7-foot blingtard making fun of my size, but I just simply remind them that SL is about free expression and then switch to a 3'11" av that I pack for such encounters... but that's me...

I pack a couple of male avatars for modelling purposes - now I tell you - I feel REALLY awkward in one of them around other people.

My drink of choice is Pepsi.

I don't even like football.

/Czari looks in the mirror again - No fangs

Whew...was worried there for a moment. *grins*



Seriously, I understand where you're coming from, Morganna. I'm fairly outspoken and when I get comments along the line of "you need a suntan", etc. the ensuing tongue-lashing I treat them to makes them wish they had never said anything.

Hmmmmm....maybe I am a non-conformist. I just thought it was being a redhead.

~ ~ ~

I was at a club one evening that we had been going to regularly at the time and I won the largest amount from the TOTALLY legal sploder. Amongst the congratulations, one guy said "Now you can afford to go to the tanning parlor."