Show friends online, not!

For my entire friends list, I turn on Online and Map privileges. If you’re on my list and ever feel the urge to simply pop in on me, just do it. Honestly. I’m waiting. (T_T)

But you're *in* the thread.

/me watches the magician vanish in a puff of smoke and squeals, "howtheyDOthat?".

No , not this thred THE Thread - the Undead One

She (he?) was trolling under a different alt last week. I know who it is and it doesn't surprise me that they have morphed into an even obscener version than before. I've got a pretty good idea who their primary avatar is, too.

Why don't you just get a calling card instead of making them a friend. That way if they want to see if you are on they have to go look in their inventory, which can be a pain.

Nice name, Vulva.......makes me wonder what kind of people you are attracting-like a bunch of drooling, horny old guys. No surprise you want to hide.

Anyways, I'm torn on the subject - I try to leave everyone on, but you end up telling half of them you're busy anyways since you're talking with the other half. Can't talk to everyone. So, you end up offending some when you tell them you're busy. Seems like ya can't win.

/me ponders........

I always show my online status, but I do have various alts I use. If I don't want to be bothered I have an alt with a very few of my closest friends.

TOO FUNNY!!!! That is a good one.


I have a friend and she ims me the very instant I am on. Most times it doesn't bother me. But the other day I was particularily annoyed I was in the middle of responding to ims and sending out information from our visitors list and she im'd me. I told her I was very busy and she said ok tp me anyway and I will be quiet and wait till you get done. Ok...I know I should've known better, but I did anyway. What happened? She instantly started talking to me about her new skin, her rl kids and hubby and it was really distracting which caused me to take a longer time to complete my tasks. I was already behind and wanted it done so when the hubby asked me did get everything done, I can truthfully tell him I was caught up.

I meant to go into "stealth" mode on her the last time I logged in. I keep forgetting to uncheck the box next to her name. Tonight before bed I am going to do it.

heh I kept saying alt/troll but no one seemed to notice

It is amazing how easy it is to spot a troll...

they rant on first or within first few posts
they insult posters of whom they do not know (or if they were new to would not know)
they keep standing their ground against something totally inane

etc etc etc

awww thanks

funny thing is, I never seem to get pestered in im's, and people know if I am online
then again, I do not pester those on my friends list
once in a blue moon I might say hi to someone, and if they are busy, then I totally understand

maybe that is why we (my friends and I) get along so well
both rarely im, and understand if the other is busy

even though we do not im each other a lot, we know the other is there for us if we need them

4 pages for this obvious troll? Must be a slow day...

Hey! You hadn't been around in a while- welcome back.

You're brand-new in the world, so the first lesson to learn is that there is no one standard way to use a Friends list, and not everyone has the same expectations of what the Friends list means.

From your post, it seems as if you use the Friends list adding function as a way of telling someone you just met, "I like you." The functional aspects of the Friends list are meaningless to you.

I look at the Friends list in a more functional manner. The primary value of the list to me is to be notified when someone on that list appears online. And the main reason I want to know when they are online is because I might want to IM them to say hi, or see if they are up for inane chit-chat with me.

I personally don't get offended when they don't allow me to see them online (which people usually do on a temporary, rather than permanent basis). To me, that's the same thing as them putting up a "Do Not Disturb" sign. There are plenty of reasons that they may not want IMs at a particular moment, reasons that have nothing to do with me.

However, if I were permanently not seeing whether a person on the Friends list were not online, I might actually reasonably assume it's personal and the person just has no interest in talking to me ever. If it's someone I like, that would upset me. It wouldn't offend me, because ultimately everyone has the right to decide with whom they want to associate and with whom they don't, for any or no reason at all. I simply have no right to someone else's time.

If someone really wanted to stalk you, there are far better, and quite frankly more reliable, ways than using the Friends list.

If the problem is a concern to you, explain it in your Profile. "I enjoy making friends and accepting Friendship offers. Just understand that I never let the people on my Friends list see my online status." Then offer/accept Friendship offers without guilt; no one has the right to feel slighted because you let them know your personal preferences beforehand.

Edit: Whether or not the original intent of the post was trolling, I am sure that this is a delimma that many residents, particularly new ones, face. Thus the topic is worth discussion.

That's a little bit different than taking 3, 4, 5 days off from everyone. Also poses a problem for me because I don't like to lie, and if I should be out shopping, enjoying my time by myself and a girlfriend IM's to see what I'm doing... oohh well you can expect the "brown spray" to hit the fan there lol.


I've noticed that too.

Sometimes you just gotta do that. I also have one that I have taken to saying: "Can you let me rez please?" as they are saying hello and started chatting away when I have barely come inworld, not even rezzed. And if I don't answer at all, they say: Hello? Hello? Are you there? Howdy! And say hello in a bunch of different languages until I can't stand it anymore and respond......sigh. Nice person though, so I practice patience a lot, I really don't want to hurt their feelings.....sigh. And here I just gave you advice to 'just do it', should be saying, 'physician, heal thyself', lol.

when i am feeling moody and withdrawing, i might turn off friends because i don't want to talk. sometimes i don't want to be chipper and supportive, and i don't want to explain.

that usually only lasts an hour, but remembering to TURN THEM BACK ON is my big fault! i have forgotten and DAYS have passed.

when i was new, i didn't quite understand the list in comparison to the calling cards, and i deleted a bunch of people off my friend's list thinking i could access them later from those cards in my inventory. i did not realize what i was doing, and i am now VERY THANKFUL for the calling cards staying put because that is how i figured out how to refind them all.

I deleted all my contact cards the other day- you can gather A LOT of cards in four years. But last night I went in world- and OMG! I had Steely turned off- those that know me know I would not have turned off bf intentionally and his name is not near anyone I wd turn off - anyway- come to think of it- I never turn anyone off at all- well- I turn of a club owner so he wont invite me every single time i am on line

well what i do is.. act like im gone afk ... and if they grab me as soon as i log on i talk for a min then say brb someone at the door or anything.. if they are not with your av ... u can do what u like and they just think u are afk.. no feelings get hurt

oh and another thing.. when u say brb or act like u are afk.. watch and when or if they log off .. then in a few min say " back... sorry i was afk talk to u when u get the message " i have played tag like this for days then when u log off and then back on .. they have a message for u if they are gone.. it goes on and on .. untill u wanna talk make it fun dont fight it. if u do fight it . it can become frustrateing just remember some ppl are just real talkitive like that so just love em the way they are and play the game

I suppose that's true, although I've had my share of women telling me to fuck off and die because I refused to cyber them. Second Life is full of crazies.

Okay.

And RL males as female avs...

Just sayin'.

QFT

Here is the solution: AR yourself for an indecent name and get yourself renamed. Then delete all your friends. And viola they will never find you again!! How's that?

(OMFG I just spilled my tea all over my keyboard when reading the combo of your first name and the content of your post...)

This.

I HATE IT when people IM me with "hello u ther?" to find out if I'm online, just so they can ask me something I could have answered offline. It's even worse to me when they do a friend invite before even talking to me. At first I would accept these random friendings (I'm a softie) and both of us would just forget after a while. Now though, I won't ever accept a friend offer from someone I've not met or talked to. A few times in the past, I've gotten a friend request from someone I talked to briefly and didn't really consider a "friend", I knew they just wanted to be able to see my online status. When I've felt evil, I accepted, and unchecked "see my online status". Recently I got a friend request from someone that I liked well enough, not really a friend but not a stranger either. EVERY TIME I logged in this guy would IM me to chit chat. Now I'm pretty much always working when I'm in world, and I don't do "What are you doing right now?" conversations except with people I've known for a long time. After a couple of weeks of these random IMs every time I logged in, I disabled his ability to see me online. No more IMs.

The ironic/weird/sad thing is, my profile already displays my online status to everyone, so customers know if I'm online.