Judge me by my profile

Again and again, people who post here get comments back about their profiles.

Most get offended and angry about it. I can not understand that. The profile is public. It is there for a purpose, to show “you” better than just the visual picture the avatar gives. I have wrestled a lot with my profile. I often wonder if it’s good or bad, unclear or weird. I’ve asked friends about it and they think it’s ok. But since they are already my friends, they aren’t the best to ask? I’ve stolen things from others profiles, but I try to write it a bit different. My first page start with something I’ve read a long time ago, maybe a year ago. I think it was on a blog. I liked it and kept it.

Feel free to read my profile and if you don’t like it, just tell me why and what you would do different. Of course you can say that you like it too, but I will not break down in tears if you dislike it. I might, or I might not change it. Others can ask for feedback on their profiles too. I am going out in RL now and I’ll promise to read back here in the evening my time, that would be around noon SL time.

Too many ellipses. Also drop the tilde. It reminds me of those cutsie howling gestures people do in clubs.

I dunno, this isn't fun. Do people really get a lot of comments here about profiles? I think I only see them in very extreme cases where people are looking for jobs and have inappropriate stuff in them.

My profile changes a lot but I don't put a lot of thought into it. Mostly it's a way for me to deliver business information to the public rather than a representation of my innermost thoughts and feelings. I suppose really it all depends on what job you want your profile to do.

Hi Marianne;

Your profile is lovely and I agree with its sentiments. I do not see a single thing in there to object to - I'd even say anyone who objects to your profile must be a very controlling person...Since it's got only things to do with your own personal approach to SL.

Nothing in there amiss that I can see, and the quotes are lovely. Hope that helps.

ETA: Cross-posted with Elanthius; when I hit reply and was typing no one had replied yet. So that post was not about anyone: just speaking in general.

I posted on another thread about how I can't understand why people fill in their profiles with a list of warnings and a suggestion that profile stalkers 'get lost' It's so silly! Why not just leave it blank!

I think your profile is fine. If it is what you want to say that's all that matter. The Hell with what anyone else thinks.

You raise an interesting philosophical point. Do you really complete your profile for your *own* benefit?

Pep (I would have thought the converse was the truth of the situation; otherwise, why bother to put anything in it at all?)

Sorry, I don't do philosophy on Monday Mornings.

Dammitall, I thought it was still Friday!

Pep ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0037884/ )

gosh, i don't even read profiles. furthermore, i don't care what anyone thinks about my profile. i'm from the camp "don't like it? don't read it." they have their own to obsess and concern over, afterall.

From what I have seen, the only ones who get upset about their profiles being commented on are those who come here and stir the shit. "We need to ban Kitten juggling." and their profile contains a reference to "dog fishing". When they are called on their vice, they pull the "Profiles are off limits. You are a stalker!!!111!!1111111!!!!!1" routine.

Profiles are there for people to read. It's how we write them that shows how we'd like to be perceived. If someone says "dont blame me if im a bitch to you its probably your fault" then that person wants to be perceived as a bitch. At least that's how I see it. Most people I know want to be perceived as friendly and fun; some want to be seen as business-oriented and busy, and some, well, some just don't want to be approached at all. It's their Second Life. *shrug*

What about the ones who say "Hi, I'm in SL to make friends and have fun, so don't be afraid to say hi", but then follow it up with "I'm not here for drama. Don't fuck with me or my friends/clan/family or I will come to your house and kill your dog."?

I read that as "16 tons of spam" and was all I'd be like this...

Yes, I specifically remember the kitten juggling - dog fishing incident! Let us never speak of it again.

After what my dogs did to my kitchen yesterday, I'd be okay with that.

Judge people by their profile, yes... I do.

I'm a profile junkie. I read them a lot.

I wouldn't say that I *judge* people by their profiles.
I do use it as an indicator - knowing that it's a very imperfect mechanism.
A profile is generally as much as someone wants you to know about them (within the limitation of 5o0 characters) without talking to them.
I find often people's Picks interesting, even though I might not want to engage them in conversation.

I prefer profiles that are obviously that person speaking for themselves in their own words.

I don't particularly like profile descriptions that are just a quotation. It might well be a quotation that sums up their entire being. On the other hand, it might be something the just copy/pasted off the Net because it sounded deep, and actually says nothing about them.

Some people do not want to believe that their own statements are why they are not liked. They want external blame.

The problem in SL is that we don't have races, social classes, even nationalities, upon which to make unfair external biases. All we really have is ourselves.

Sure, you can get biased against somebody for their choice of AV or gender - but these are fluid concepts in SL (though most people do not change their gender).

For the bulk of how you get judged in SL, its going to be by your profile. The 'ethnocentric biases' people have get brought into SL, but in oddball ways. Usually people assume those they like are the same as them, those they dislike are different - but aren't aware of this. It just comes out in how they frame approaching each other.
- ie: post-judgmental racism, rather than pre-judgmental.

As to getting judged by your profile, and putting a lot of effort into fine tuning - that's exactly what you should be doing, as that's the point-of-first-contact for people with you.

I'm also very curious about how people would judge my profile, and have been revising it over and over again trying to convey the right message for how I wish to get treated. I -think- its getting better, but I'm still not sure. So I'm also open to some comments about it.

I'm in SL to socialize in wild and crazy ways that I can't get away with in RL, but to do so in a friendly and playful manner. For me, that means the profiles become VERY important as a way to get people to meet me and for me to meet them. I need to know who's open to a little play, and who isn't - before I offend. Its also where I set my 'limits on both ends' so to speak - I'm open to kidding around subject X, but I don't want to go down Y. And of course, I need people to know that its just silly-roleplay to me, and no more. I may be hot-n-heavy cybering w/ someone onscreen, but behind the screen I'm probably giggling, and hoping they are too.


If I were in SL to do business, I think I'd still need the profile, to act as a mini-resume of sorts (and I've been debating a second account for precisely the purpose of having a mainstream persona that can cross the SL-RL bridge for me - especially if I want to start selling my art).

- As is, when I find a vendor of interest, oftentimes the very first thing I do is search them and scan their profile. As a consumer, I find it very interesting, if not useful, to know what kind of person I'm dealing with.

So, don't undervalue your own profile - your customers and business contacts will use it the same way the generation before us might business cards in their Rolodex / your resume. That's your advertisement in the White Pages / your listing with the local chamber of commerce, much as your 'place posting' for search is your advert in the Yellow Pages.


Profiles also let me judge someone's writing skills. I can tell in a flash if you're very literate, not a native-English speaker, or a native speaker who can't write. I'll deal with the first two freely, but I have very little patience for a native English speaker who can't master writing in her own native language (and its very easy to spot the difference between that and someone for whom English is not a native language - even people who who can barely speak English write more thoughtfully than people who failed, or should have failed, the 4th grade).

Personally, I'm not a big fan of profiles that have quotes or poetry in them either, especially of the "my heart bleeds tears and i want to cut myself" variety or ones that state rules and reek of negativity.

I think profiles can be used for many purposes, whether it be for your business or to convey your personality and interests to strangers. I'm not much of a profile stalker really and may take a cursory look at someone's but my focus tends to be on their actions and how they conduct themselves in-world before I really pass judgement. It's just one of many things in the mix that I might consider before I want to chat them up or friend them. Probably one of my favourite profiles is my friend's which just states, "Well ..."

Sounds a rather deep kind of person.

--
Aes

I don't read profiles right off the bat. I like trying to figure people out at first with a little conversation, just like in RL. After something gets going I may look t their profole to get some talking points, from pics or groups. Generally though, I take profiles with a grain of salt. I've seen great profiles attached to asshats and wonderful people with almost blank ones.

While walking thru a place the other day, I had one jerk ask me why I had two different men in my picks! The nerve!

Did you tell him that You haven't had time to find a 3rd?

Lol- you are right- i should have neenered neenered at him!

ETA - isn't it amazing how we still let RL preconceptions determine our expectations? Guilty as well of course.