Managing RL and SL relationships

People who don't want to take responsibility for there actions Often Lie to themselves in this way. it's a way that they can Keep repeating the Same Errors Over, and Over, and Over again, and never learn from them because the situation is, in their mind, always sombody elses fault. I feel sorry for people like this, because they Never seem to be able to fathom why They always end up with the Bad partners. it never once occurs to them that They might be the problem, and their lonliness, and unhappiness is So Unnecessary. Others around them Soon "Get their Number". they find it harder, and harder to Find a Good relationship with a decent partner, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. One may Get away with it in the short term, But in the end it always comes back on them.

As for never telling your partner they are fat,,That's a completely different Dynamic entirely. It's usually asked by someone who hasn't been told, or shown enough recently, that they are desirable, and loved. it's rarely if ever connected to a true cosmetic concern.
My wife once asked me if a pair of pants she was wearing made her look Fat, I responded, No, the four Chocolate muffins she ate for breakfast (Exageration) made her look Fat, the pants were just trying to contain it. Total Shock for a Moment. I asked her, Well, what did you EXPECT me to say?? Then we talked about it, Her weight, AND how much i Loved her, and how beautiful she ALWAYS is in my eyes. I'm Always honest with my Wife. ALWAYS. I have no shameful secrets from her, and i never need fear what she will say Because i'm Honest. The closest thing to deception between us is when i Hide her presents before holidays.

Angel.

Yes please remember this isn't real thus none of it ever happened.

Football and baseball are games too so wait until I tell my my husband they aren't real and he can stop taking thm so seriously.

I'm bored.. and feel like writing. So I'm going to be completely honest about my RL and SL relationships... completely seperate and yet quite intertwined in a way.

In SL, I have a partner and two lovely girls (Submissives, not daughters). I love them all immensely, and truly, not just in that 'it's just a game' theory at all. To me, SL is my Life, as real, and more satisfactory than my RL. All three of them know about my RL... probably more than is technically 'safe' to tell them, but I trust them immensely. They all know exactly how old I am, my general area, how to contact me out-of world (Two know my cell number), and know about various other things about my Rl.

I'm absolutely happy with my SL. I've got so much to be thankful for, and so much love... it's my ideal Life I suppose, in either world.

Now..my RL seems like it would be happy, to most people, and I suppose it should. In RL, I'm engaged to a wonderful youg lady, I do love her, I know that for certain. She has no idea that I have anyone in SL that I love.. she thinks I just build. She's even trying to start playing, but her internet sucks too bad so she can only do stuff when she comes here.. at which point I use an alt, simply to hide my SL family.

I'm aware how morally wrong that is, but oh well.. it gets even more interesting.

I can't manage both relationships seperately.. not at all. Even though my RL fiance has no idea I have a Family in SL, my SL Family knows about her, and knows more about my situation than she does actually.

To cut a long story short... my SL makes me happier than my RL, and I plan to make my RL a bit more connected to my SL. I've run out of the want to write, but oh well... I've said enough. People will disagree with how I'm currently living, many won't care, few will understand I think... either way, it's been said now, ahsn't it?

My advice on managing both RL and SL relationships is quite simply don't. It's far too much risk and drama in my opinion. I've never been caught, and maybe won't be.. but it doesn't really matter in my situation, the end result is the same.

If you have seperate SL and RL partners and make it work, all power to you, but.. for most it's not easily done I don't think.

Have fun
-Oki

It is necessary for men to lie to women though. Otherwise, women will make us talk to them. If you can think of a way I can not talk to my wife without telling atleast one little white lie I'd love to hear it. You probably don't need to lie to your wife because you enjoy talking to her.

if you do not enjoy talking to her why are you still married to her?
im just curious if you dont want to answer you dont have to
but if you wanna answer would you maybe also answer how long have you been married to her?

I'll answer these in reverse order;

6 years.
She's boring, but so are all women, and not having a female spouse makes producing an heir (the only benefit a man gains from a relationship) problematic.

Sometimes I really do wish I were gay.

you really believe all that or do you keep telling yourself that to make yourself feel better and important?

how sad that after only 6 yrs your in a sad marriage...probably equally sad for her

i guess im lucky after almost 17 yrs of marriage we still find plenty to talk about and do together

Oh, I'm really not sad at all - the gay thing was a joke. This has been the arrangement between men and women for thousands of years - and it works. The fact is, women are dull, boring creatures without exception. Either that, or they try to talk about feelings specifically to piss men off.

Did you really ask those questions just as a flimsy pretext to flame me? I don't mind if you did, since I'm unflameable.

OMG Conan I feel so bad for you. I can assure you that all women are not boring though. Maybe you just live in the wrong part of the world.

I know my neighbor, a very intellengent man, thought women were useless and had been married to one for many years. One day he stood outside and watched me rip my deck apart and build a new one as good as any man could. He now has a much different vew about women. You just havent met the right woman yet honey.

no i was really curious
but part of me feels that you dont really think all that
im sorry if you find your wife dull maybe you dont bring out the best in her
but i think now i feel more sorry for your wife i know if i was in a marriage like that i wouldnt stay in it..no matter what probs my hubby and i have had we stuck it out and still have fun and exciting times together

Naturally I have sufficient tact not to communicate to her how dull I find her; mostly by diverting her with subtle lies about needing to take "this important phonecall" etc etc. Thus we come full circle back to the topic under discussion (sort of). I'm quite content with my marraige. There are many things in my life that I find dull; my kitchen for example is necessary but unexciting, as is my car, my wardrobe and my sofa. That does not mean that I am dissatisfied with them - they perform the function for which I acquired them.

Just when I thought I made a good point in a thread some guys come along to derail it.

Thank you - I desperately needed the laughs tonight.

Onions, Blue Cheese, Garlic, and Sardines,, Lots of them, and Pepper your Conversation with LOTS if heavey "H" sounds. Trust me, after thirty minutes or so of you Talking after that, she will move heaven, and Earth to avoid prompting you to open your mouth, and you needn't once compromise your honor.

As for talking to My wife,, I adore it, she's bright, Witty, Pleasant, in every way the perfect mate for me. and i won her by Being Honest about Myself.



For five years,, and During one Major Illness on My part, taking the time to make sure my On Line family Knew my contition. Even Sitting up, and Holding me when I've Lost one of my On Line family. Yes, I'm sure. We talk, and she isn't afraid at All to tell me when i P*ss her off. In short, she's as Honest about her feelings as i am.

Angel.

That doesn't sound practical at all.
What if she telephones me?

Hey Chas,

After reading Ric's helping message to you all I can say is no one deserves it more then you, sport. Isn't he a thoughtful guy thinking enough to help you out? But if I had added anything else to his message it would simply be OVERKILL! So I'm staying away from this one.

You see how nice I can really be when I want to? And here you think so negative of me. Shame on you.




btw, But for some reason after reading that I can't help but keep seeing 2 words over and over, your name and the word BODYSLAMMED!!! Hmm.. wonder why?

Anyway, enjoy.

To: Chas Connolly

There's enough negativity going on in these forums without adding to it. I've seen on several occassions that out the blue you're making snide remarks to the same people here. Then when they retaliate you try to play it off like you're an innocent victim which clearly you're not. You're just as guilty, maybe more since you're the one commencing this.


Not only this but you're directing these comments at them specifically naming names. Where is the cry by those here who always jump at the chance to remind people not to name names?

This thread has been interesting and insightful. I appreciate that, with very few exceptions, nobody took the opportunity to attack others for their individual beliefs and feelings.

Personally, I have a flirtation going on, for the first time, that my RL/SL hubby is aware of, and ok with...he better be, since he gets around himself, and that's fine with me.

I think we do very well in keeping our RL and our SL relationship open and honest. As long as that continues, I'm good with it

Was it painful, having your sense of humour surgically removed?

You just named my name!! Horror of horrors, I'll have to AR you.

207 and counting ....

You know what was meant regarding you're naming people here to get on them. Is this your way of seeking attention? No wonder they tear you to shreds every time you try to be humorous which you're not. And this little gimmick you ingeniusly came up with doing the countdown on their replys, is this your way of sticking your head in the sand when you can't come up with a smart reply?

You're one sad indiviual.

And you guys wonder why there are so many lesbians in the world.

Truthfully my opinion is some people have fetish with the forbidden, it gives them excitement if the forbidden is cheating via the internet then they seek it out.
Personally in real life I have someone I care about but sex thing is doesn't exist any more yet I don't entirely miss it so much to seek it out here.
There are people I care about and having very close relationships here that I don't have in rl but its not sexual.
I don't think people are always aware how there hormones drive them.
Women get it around their own cycles but men have their own cycles.
Often it revolves around sex, aggressive behavior for Men or those with higher
traditional male hormone levels.
Due to illness and medical things I have like no hormones in my body for years.
The male hormone levels are pretty close to zero so that might be why I am not very interest in sex but I remember the drive.
Women don't entirely get how male hormones effect guys I think. It is primal animal urge that often didn't make much sense to me back then often I felt like dog chasing my tail.
I am sort of glad things have changed now looking back at all the embarrasing and stupid things that drive led me to do.

It actually is the opposite for me. It shows me how very few man-jerks really exist. Reading these forums lets me know everything is all right in the world. Jerks are a minority