Friends, Friendship, and Friends List

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

Not completely.. there are some that I feel a kinship to, but worry if it's one sided, so I don't offer friendship list until they do.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

Yes - as a Mentor, I often get friend requests, and if the person is nice, not pushy, and not 'haz sexxors now?', I will friend them, and explain friends, mapping, calling cards and the rest. And I let them know if they have a question, how they can find my name in their list, and IM it to me. But most of them either move on, and I forget who they are, or become true friends, and then I remember their name, and who they are.


3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

The size does not matter. Even if I am on and no one on my friendlist is on, I know they are no further than a thought and a IM.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

In the three years I only pruned once, and even that was after I checked their profile, saw it was empty (or missing), and realized that they must have been a new entry that we didn't connect.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

The ones that are friends I notice, and think it only happened once, when that person was having problems. And they came back when they were ready. a couple of others IM'ed me, said they were trimming, and if they didn't remember talking to 'me', they were dropping, and that was fine. Any others were ones I would not have remembered, so didn't notice.

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Pretty much only my closest friends, but I will usually add it to anyone, and only remove it if it is abused. I figure if it is someone who wants to be a pest, and pops in to my area, they won't mind when I shoot them and send them home..


Finally...
7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Yes... my family.. they are closer than even friends, and if they dropped me with no reason given, I would ask, and if it turned out it was something I had done, I would be crushed.

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

No, usually people I enjoy chatting w/ or a creator I like.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

It's happened, deff.

3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

No, I've done the "have too many friends", it didn't make me happy, I found I like to keep world small.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

I've dropped friends a few times, they were either overwhelming me or doing things or putting me in potions I didn't enjoy and not explained myself. Explanations would have just led to arguments or ppls involved feelings getting hurt.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

Not often and it would depend on the person

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Partners, nothing to hide.

7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Depends on the person.

8> Add me Immy! I'm tired of looking you up!

Awww Imnot...anytime ive bumped into you you've always been nice and cute and stuff...just someone i would wanna cuddle

And a great way to be "escorted" off my friends list.

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

The vast majority are, yes

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

No. I prune ruthlessly.

3> Does quantity matter to you?

No. My friends talk to me; I talk to them. Matters not how many there are.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

Hmmm... Once every 6 months? And never.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

*shrug* Live and let live, yeah?

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Never actually thought about it. I figure, if someone's my Friend, they can map me. But I can't remember the last time I gave specific permission.

Finally...
7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Absolutely.

I'm quite the opposite. I would be glowing with joy if anyone were wanting to pop up around me like that. (^_^)

I just realized, the names I tend not to recognize on my friend's list? Friend's alts.

There are several of those, since I never had a time I initially "met" those alternate accounts, nor had IMs with them, but simply received a polite friends request when they brought them on, often just for the purpose of friending me (or had to search the alt name and send a friend request myself for them to accept later)...LOL

So there's less with those names to have made a memorable impression. When I see those, I'm most likely to pause a while and go "huh"?

Then the irony is most of my friends don't use alts regularly. Only a couple do. So those half dozen names are ones where I would want to know if they were online but are pretty much not ever online, LOL

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

Yes, i tink so. Though there are some folks I've friends with that I simply have not gotten around to sending a friends request to.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

yup, I definitely have a few. Some day I'm gonna toss our a few names. Especially the person who kept sending me TP requests tonight without asking. But I need to remember to do that.

3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

I dunno. It;s not so much that I feel the need to have a big list (and do), but that I really do tend to be a friendly person, an care about th' people on my friends list. For the most part (see #2). There are people on my list I talk to every day, an many that I talk to regularly.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

Rarely, and never. yet.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

I've seen that happen a time or two. I jes figure that they decided to move on, or had some reason or other to drop me. Maybe they did not like me seeing a conference IM, or there someone who friended me a long time ago an we've lost contact. Or maybe they've left SL. Or maybe stuff happened in their SL life, an they felt like wiling their list, or... whatever. Sometimes I'll send another request. Sometimes I'll jes let it go.

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Very few people get it. Close friends an family. Not cuz I'm worried about what they might walk into, but because there are times when I do wanna be left alone for a while. Also, cuz the security thingy in the workshops will drop kick them an that might hurt their feelings more. A lot of it comes form having had friends in the time before you could toggle access who did not understand that they did not have to cling to me 24/7 wherever I was. I cant do RP in the middle of a business meeting, nor would I want business partners to pop in on me for a work order while I'm in class at HardKnock or being tucked into bed.

Finally...
7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

There are some that would hurt a lot. There have been some that have hurt a lot. There will be some in the future. I've had close friends who left SL due to personal pain of a RL and/or an SL nature, friends who have passed away in RL, an some who... who knows what happened. I've even had one close RL friend who my SL defriending was also my RL defriending, and that still hurt me to this day, two years later. But I'm still here, which tells me that I'd likely survive some others.

And furthermore...



That's not always a healthy assumption. It could be a lot of reasons, not always something you did. When you dropped me from your list several months ago, it was over the drama you were in an had nothing to do with anyting on my part (and thanks for the re-add then). I s'pect the same might be true in cases where you were dropped. At any rate, I'm glad ot have you as a friend, which is part of why I've been checkin in on ya lately.

I remember that, I also recall having a tough time logging in myself then, as the slower computer + big friends list (big, in this case, is in the 300-400 range) was causing some logins to fail for me.

I'm glad to be on your list, honored. But between that and logging in, I'd understand. but ya, I'd probably ask for a re-add.

Today, I love the yellow dots in the RC's mini map. I much prefer finding out if a friend happens to be visiting the same region as I am, so I can say "oh hai! jes in the neighborhood!" Did that today a couple of times while heart hunting.

Well no.



NO



It matters to me. Having many people in the list doesn't mean they are FRIENDS at all. They could be business contacts, people that share same interrest in a certain subject, or whatnot. Besides, i don't need a huge friendlist to have do things in SL, without being bored, or isolated. I'm not that conversation hungry all the time.
So better an organised small list, than a huge messy list.



Very often, e.g. if i have accepted a "friendship" from someone, just because it's handy for a particular occasion (e.g. an event, temp contact about business or something like that), and when this occasion is over, i'll remove him/her asap. No need to have it there anymore, cause i will most likely never speak him/her again.
And IF i might do speak again, we could again setup "friendship".
ALL in all, it's just a press of a button. no biggy. they'll understand.

Also, when i don't speak a person for a x amount of time, i'll remove the name, since it's useless then. Appearently their ain't no interrest from both parties to communicate, so why keep it in the list? Never received complaints or confused IM's about it.



not so much, since i'm mostly quicker with the removal then the other But if i noticed, i don't react, since it's their full right to do so.



Barely no one. Only if it becomes really handy for someone, in a particular occasion. I might give it temp. to him/her.
A valid reason could be, co-op building in a sim, and major skyboxes all over, then you could quickly tp to him/her to review something, without the need to manually fly to it, or ask for tp.
the only one who has perm. map access is my partner.



not that i know of.



to me i prefer the term CONTACT list, because not all "friends" in there are infact friends.. but business contacts e.g.



i see it as a RL contact list, like a phonebook/addressbook thing. a quick way to find that someone, and vice versa. Nothing more.

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

No. This conversation came up the other day between Ghosty and I. I realized that there are many people I consider "friends", mostly in the Cartel, that I've never friended. I'm not sure why this is. These are people who's company I genuinely enjoy, and for some reason it just has never occurred to me to do so. Maybe because I've never actually hung out with them socially? It's the only plausible reason which I can come up with.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

A couple that I have to think about for a moment or two. I have them on it still because for the most part they either offer services which I don't want to forget about, or they are contacts from some groups I belong to, who have been generous enough to do me some favors or offered help, over time.

3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

Quantity means nothing to me. My list is rather short, I think by most standards. I prefer keeping it to my closest and dearest, which is maybe why I haven't friended many people that I like (see #1 above). I just don't have a need to pal around very much, prefer being on my own for the most part unless I have specific plans. However, those who truly are my friends, I would drop anything for if they really needed me.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

Rarely. I've only done this twice; both guys who turned out to be not quite who they seemed to be and were better off not being so accessible to me. Neither contacted me. I'm sure they both understood completely why they were dropped.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

I've never noticed it happen to me. If it did, obviously it made no impact.


6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Only two people have ever gotten map access. A prior lover and my current BF. It isn't anyone elses business where I am.

7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Absolutely. I have several friends that I don't speak to on a regular basis but consider very special people to me and will never consider deleting them, even if we didn't speak for months. Sometimes I recognize people go in stages in SL, a peson may be paired up and just busy with their partner for a while. Or, they got deeply interested in building perhaps and don't want to be bothered for a while. Maybe, they have an illness and have left for now but possibly with the grace of God, be back again. Maybe, we both just don't have anything worthwhile to chat about

EDIT: BTW Immy, I think you're pretty cool, and you don't bother me (much) at all. I don't know how I feel about hanging with a kid ava (I guess, that is what you still are technically); but I do want to say that other than that aspect of it, if you ever got the urge to IM me, you'd be most welcome to do so (I sort of remember you saying "Lolita" was a favorite book of yours, correct?)

Surely not!

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

>>I don't have friends. There are a couple of guys down the rugby club that buy me a drink to find out what amusing bigotry might be occupying my thoughts at the time. Come to think of it, the avatars I talk to in sl, in the forums and online generally fall into a similar category.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

>>All of them. The friends list names are those of avatars, and I wonder continually what the people behind them are really like.

3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

>>The reason cliches are cliches is that generally they have been proved useful, hence, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", the reason for most rl divorces and sl drama.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

>>Seldom, and never yet.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

>>Not often, and I don't usually notice for a while, after which I usually contact them to ask why they did it and they lie, which causes a reaction in me of being pleased I am rid of them.

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

>>No-one. When all it takes is an IM to ask "Where are you and can I join you?" why invite interruption?

7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

>>As has been demonstrated quite conclusively several times, no-one is that important or irreplaceable.

It is a list of people that for some perverse reason (verbal masochists?) want to improve their chance of having me talk to them.

I couldn't find any.

Pep (Ask questions, get answers)

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

No. Nor is everyone on my list a 'friend', necessarily.


2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

Sometimes. Those usually don't last very long.


3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

My list fluctuates from the mid-20s to down around 15. Too many people feels overwhelming.


4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

Every few weeks I'll look at it. I've never gotten an upset IM. Maybe it's my deodorant. O.o


5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

Not terribly often. I think that's happened ten times since I've arrived.


6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Elora only. I love company, but only when it calls ahead.


7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

There are seven I consider permanent. Most are from my earliest weeks in.

Interesting how threads go sometimes.

I can't remember—okay, my memory's pretty short—the last time nearly everybody answered EVERY question the OP put forth... like it was a survey or sumpin'.

Anyways. The only thing that gets me is friendship requests when I've never even met the person. Maybe they've read my profile, but at LEAST talk to me before sending a request. It makes me feel like the bad guy to turn them down... but I do.

I had to check my list, for the first time in a year or so ,to peek,it is so small.My alts, my sons,my staff and a few randoms. Although I have a nice little village I am a bit of a recluse.I tend to tp away from people.
I am not like this in RL however which I find strange.

I wanted to add that, like many people here, I do have people on my friends list that aren't necessarily "friends" in that I'd go hang out with them. They are, for the most part, business acquaintances with whom a mutual fondness has developed. We aren't "friends" per se, but I'm happy that they're on my list.

I know that lots of people hate the Calling Cards but I wish that they were still used, and were a bit more functional. For example, I wish that there was a "Give Calling Card" button on Profile pages or a "Request Calling Card" button. Sometimes I forget names, or can't QUITE remember a name, and then I have to search through my Notecards, or God forbid, the actual Search function, to find them.

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

No. I have a lot of people that I consider friends, but not on my Friends list. That part of my RL shyness and low social self-esteem still plays out in SL. I have a really hard time bringing myself to offer friendship - what if they say No? The majority of my list are people that I wanted to offer friendship to, but waited for them to do it because I allowed my fear of rejection to control me.


2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

Probably a couple - I do clean those out every few months or so.


3> Does quantity matter to you?

Quantity does not matter at all. I have some friends on my list that I would stop the world for and I have some that are more of an acquaintance. The people on my Friends list are mostly there so that I can more easily IM them or grab their profile for an inventory drop. Most, but not all, can see when I am online, so that they can contact me. Since many people disable that notification for others, I don't really worry too much about it for knowing if they are online or not. If I IM them and get the offline notice, then I know. If they just don't respond, then I figure they are busy.


4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

I drop folks a lot if I cannot remember who they are, though a few times I have dropped folks for other reasons. I have only had one person IM me to say that he noticed I had dropped him from the list and hoped he had not offended me in any way.


5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

My Friends list is small enough that I almost always would know if I was dropped by someone that I actually communicate with sort of regularly. That has happened a couple of times - for one person, we had had a falling out and for the other, I was left wandering why, but did not contact them about it.


6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Absolutely nobody except my alt. My few 'relationships' were not even set to map access - I just never thought it was needed.


Finally...
7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Yes, there are a few that I would be very hurt if they dropped me and those same few I could not ever imagine dropping.

Those people piss me off to no end. How dare they assume that just because I accepted a friendship offer, it means that I want to be spammed every time something happens at their club or they go to DJ somewhere?

/me runs inworld to offer friendship to Des

Calling all college students that want to do a survey about SL. Here is the best chance at getting all questions answered -- just copy these questions and everyone's responses.

1> Are all your friends on your friends list?

Yes. Most people I consider friends are on my list.

2> Do you have names on your friends list that make you wonder, "Who is that?"

Yes. Because of RFL I deal with many different people in SL and sometimes only during the RFL season. I would never hurt anyone of these people intentionally..they could be someone I have referred elsewhere for ACS services or someone that just needed to talk about their cancer or about a family or friend that is fighting cancer. Or it could be dealings I have had about setting up kiosks on their land, volunteers, committee members ..there are so many different reasons I could not list them all.

3> Does quantity matter to you? If so, are you comfortable with a small list of caring friends that you would drop the world for? Or, are you happier with a big list so that you don't have to be concerned about being alone at any time of the day?

NO...quantity does not matter to me. While I'd perfer to keep my friends list small it is impossible for me to do so.

4> Reaction to 2, how often do you drop names from your friends list? And, how often does it result in a offended, disappointed, confused IM?

I leave it to others to drop me from their list so I do not intentionally hurt anyone's feelings. Unless it was someone whom I thought was a friend and then proved not to be. I drop those kind of people like a hot potato.

5> Reaction to 4, how often do you find a name disappear from your friends list? And, how do you react to it?

If it was someone I thought was a friend I am hurt but end up shrugging it off and moving on. If it is anyone else I probally do not notice.

6> Map access: Who gets it? Why?

Only my partner. And if he sees I am anywhere but on the sim or one of my stores he never uses it. If anyone else wants to drop in on me...they have only to ask for a TP

Finally...
7> Are there any "Untouchables"? Friends that would be the kill-all/end-all if they were to ever be dropped from your list?

Yes. Another reason I no longer drop anyone off my list. If they do not want me on their friends list they have only to drop me. I'll get over it.

I think it is more of a case of:

Researchers, if you want all of your survey questions answered with a lot of participants:

1) Create a precocious, naughty child avatar and endear yourself to everyone in the forums.

2)Create a cute sig.

3)Both help countless people by answering questions here and add a bit of levity by injecting humorous responses every now and then.

4)Get yourself in trouble with the Lindens a couple of times to develop a larger fan base.

5)Successfully balance some outrageous behaviour without crossing over into the obnoxious.

6)Radically alter your appearance to that of a more mature but still cute and vaguely Lolita-ish type avatar.

7)Post Survey.

Well I for one... found the replies interesting. I did not know she was a naughty child avatar and she has never endeared herself to me as I do not even know her. Does that really make a difference?

I guess I do not understand your post. A lot of people like me love to read the forums. And we do not know everyone. I'm going to just assume this is an inside joke or something.

OK