Top 10 tips to woo your lady love.

I often hear complaints from the ladies that most guys in SL, don't know how to flirt or don't have the confidence to pull it off. Here are some tips from the Times of India.
Discuss.



http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/4508748.cms

BE UNPREDICTABLE
Women love wondering what’s next. But most guys are painfully predictable. Don’t ASK her where she wants to go for dinner. Instead, TELL her see you at 8. If she’s curious, say “It’s a surprise.” Take her to an unusual place. Even if it’s a hole-in-the-wall dhaba, she’ll love it more than a fancy eatery, simply because of the anticipation. The only predictable thing about you should be unpredictability.

GET PHYSICAL, EARLY
The longer you delay touching her, the weirder it gets later to kiss her. Initiate touching early. Hug her when you meet; at least shake hands. Do some thumbwrestling while having coffee. If you’re going to a different venue, say “Let’s go!” and hold her hand. Then, remark “Hope you’re not getting ideas, just because we are holding hands”; roll your eyes and say “Women!”

LEARN TO WALK AWAY
This one is routine sight in our malls. While the women are browsing the clothing section, boyfriends often hang around like puppy dogs, just waiting for them to get done. Not good for attraction! Walk away, browse the men’s section, chat with people, do anything that does not involve waiting for her. Let HER come and find you.

LEAD, DON’T FOLLOW
Many guys, while interacting with a woman, give her all their power. While planning an evening out, he’ll ask her what she wants to do. If she suggests a movie, he’ll give her a list of movies to choose from and so on. Not good. Women like men who take decisions and take the lead. Your tone should be something like this: “Hey I’m going to see XYZ movie, at 8 tonight. Wanna tag along?”

COMPLIMENT HER
Don’t compliment her about her eyes, beauty etc in the first meeting itself. Instead, compliment her on something not so obvious. “I like the way you’re so well co-ordinated” is much better than “You’re so beautiful, are you a model?” Or you could be playful about it and say, “You have nice eyes, but you know what, mine are nicer.”

DON’T EASE THE TENSION
Once you’ve made your subtle yet cheeky moves, she may say things like “I like you” or “you’re funny”. Many guys drop the ball here and say “I like you too”. Well, that diffuses all the tension. Instead, up the tension further. Ask her if she’s flattering you just so you will go home with her. Be cocky. A good rule-of-thumb is to say all the stuff that women typically tell men.

TEASE HER
Teasing a woman the right way demonstrates confidence and humour. For instance, if she is walking behind you as you enter a restaurant, turn around, look at her sternly and say “Stop following and staring at me!” Then mock about about why women are always in a hurry to tear off your clothes before even knowing you. Interpret anything she does as if she is hitting on you.

LEARN HOW TO BE A GREAT KISSER
Women can tell from the way a man kisses how he will be in bed. Here’s a tip: Don’t be like most guys who kiss while they’re scheming to get to the main destination, sex. For a good kisser, the kiss is the destination itself; he kisses as if he wants to enjoy every moment of it. Women can tell the difference.

DO THE ‘PUSH-PULL’
Open the door for her, but complain that she walks slower than your granny. Feed her at a restaurant but roll your eyes and mutter about how she’s a baby. While walking on the street, have her walk on the inside to protect her from the traffic; but tease her about how she’s delicate. If you can tease her and still treat her like a lady, chances are, before long, she will be lattoo over you.

HAVE A LIFE!
Women don’t like men who follow them like Mary’s little lamb. Women, especially quality women, want a man who is on HIS path, following HIS passions. Have a busy life with interesting activities that bring a smile to YOUR face and it will automatically attract people (including women) to you. Don’t chase women, attract them.

That was enjoyable to read, as it comes from another culture and has different viewpoints.

I think in the end, it's really rather simple advice. What it gets across is "be playful" more than anything else. Don't take yourself too seriously. Be confident, strong and bold. Be yourself. Attraction comes to those who love themselves.

And learn how to kiss right. That's the most important one. If you got that one down right, many of the others can be tossed out the window

Dont walk about with your private parts hanging out of your pants in a public place

Rule Zero: Everyone is different. Learn the person, not the rules.

Some of these I did like, to be honest



No comment really- i like surprises and a 'hole in the wall' can be good- hopefully he took the time to get to know me well enough that he at least suspects I would like the food there. It would be simple courtesy to take the your dining companion whether a date or a friend, male or female, to a place they will enjoy as well.




Up to here - Yes- but then, I am touchy-feely. Some people find it an invasion of space. But skip the 'thumb wrestiling"...


Yup-


Yes - keeping in mind that just out of courtesy, she, in this case me, should be asked at times - if we don't like the same flicks overall, we probably have other things in common and if not- then let's re-think this whole date thing...




Meh- compliments about ones genetic good fortune? Some might fall for it i suppose- and the truly beautiful have proly heard it all before.

"You are stunning!" Takes in so much more and carries so much more weight than, "You are so beautiful" In our SL world though, being beautiful is a matter of design. So here it is not as empty as in RL. Yes we can all go bu the skins and dresses and hair and such- but it takes one's own stamp to put it together in a way it says "Me" rather than Skin NO. 3.



Cocky can be good within reason- an act is an act is an act- be real is better



I'll pass on this one- but then i tend to be a tad serious.




This. Oh yes- a kiss is even more intimate i think than sex can be - you have so much contact - so many senses engaged - touch, taste, scent even sound. I recall in Stranger in a Strange Land, Jubal asks one of the girls why kissing Michael was so great and the girl in question, I forget which, says that when Michael kisses he is no where else but right there in the kiss. So yes- as she should make you feel - she is the center of your universe right then - hopefully she read the same comment



Stupid and condescending. I am not your sibling- don't treat me as such in teasing.






Yup - and she does too - clingy dependency is un-attractive. Need can eat you alive when the need is not met. It's why we have walls. Not to say you shouldn't let another in but for Pete's sake - stand up on your own.

I think you pretty much got it right, Chris. Well said.

Chris, does Feline lend you out?

/me laughs

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What is nice about the article is the idea of PLAY. This is not about bedding a girl in ten seconds or less.

Good banter is hard to resist.

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Agree, for the most part but have to agree with Amara on the teasing section, UGH. No condescending, no patronizing. The rest is pretty much on target. Where is the 'respect' section, did I overlook it? I love brainy men but it's important to me that they realize that I am brainy too. Equal opportunity brainpower.

Treasure (who should not really be allowed an opinion, having never had a real SL relationship, but only has friends, who are, mostly good 'nuff. LMAO)

Yes....and in SL a man can do all of the above within 10 minutes....and get exactly where he wants to be.....

....or so he thinks.

10 minutes? That is a poor chase, a good seduction should take a little time.

No fun in doing that! Taking several days or sometimes even weeks to develop a relationship can be very exciting in the long run, at least, it was for me.

Not bad overall but the 'teasing' and 'push pull' advice is for teenagers. In fact it would've hurt my feelings and had me turn right off a guy, even then. That is for much LATER in the relationship when you both know each other's sense of humor. A guy insulting me at the beginning stages will be perceived by me and I think other women too, as an ass.

It's that idiotic "negging" ploy rearing its ugly head. Thanks, Erik the Magician.

No arguments from me on that.

Just noticed the time frames getting shorter and shorter.

I'd never try to tease a woman: the types I tend to go for would likely tear a lump out of me.

Joking is another thing altogether. It's a real bonus when a gal with anger-management issues laughs. Sense of achievement there.

Laughing is wonderful.

Belitting, not so much.

And yes I'd tear a lump out of him too, even if only with a glare. ;p

Most of this advice is okay or even good IF the woman is already at least somewhat attracted or interested. But if some guy tries to pull these "taking the lead" things on me out of the blue, I'll be just like "and who do you think you are, take a hike". But yeah, 'puppy guys' (not furries) are the worst, for sure.

To a degree -- if you tell me you love a woman to do xxxx for you, then don't you dare change your mind the first time I do it. And if doing whatever is not normal for me, then please have enough respect and coutesy to let me know that you noticed I did it for you. Unpredictable in planning dates is great as long as you at least think she might enjoy it -- if you know I hate something, then don't plan that as a surprise.

Fine here as long as the hug on a first date is not TOO friendly. Rather than thumbwrestling, I would suggest just occasional finger or arm touches. And if you do the joking part, make sure there is a smile on your face and a smile/laugh in your voice.

Yes -- unless I am specifically asking your opinion on something.

Sometimes - you do need to let her decide sometimes.

IMO, "well co-ordinated" sounds lame. Compliment me on something specific about my hair or clothing or something like my intelligence (only after we have actually talked about things) or on the way I handled a person or situation, etc.

Careful here, especially early in a relationship -- get too cocky or arrogant and I would walk away.

The key here is "teasing in the right way" and I do not see these examples as the *right* way. Rather than telling me that other women want to tear your clothes off, if I happen to touch your arm or chest, laughingly comment along the lines of "are you trying to get my clothes off already?" On a first date, do NOT EVER discuss "other women".

I cannot emphasis this one enough. You can truly melt me with the right kiss and I could be yours forever -- and if done right, I'll be dragging you to the bed.

NO

Definitely -- right up there with kissing as far as major importance here.

I also wonder if this was written a bit tongue in cheek? Keeping in mind, again, it is from another culture and most of us would not get the delicate subtleties inherent in the humor which might be intended for the Indian reader.

Generally speaking, that's pretty good advice. Even so, it takes some skill to do it right.

I think the key points are, get to be a friend first. Be interested in her, and be a person she finds interesting and fun. Get physical gradually. As you know each other better, there's a point at which physical intimacy feels right. This can happen a lot faster in SL than in RL...those darned dance animations are so suggestive!

Be there but don't push. I get annoyed when my friends IM me in the first ten seconds I'm in world. Give a girl a chance to put herself together, OK?

Do invite her to interesting places. I'm a sucker for getting glammed up and going ballroom dancing, but there are lots of other things to do too.

Don't buy her expensive gifts. Well, at least for me, they make me feel uncomfortable (unless there's an occasion, like my rezday or Christmas or something). But I don't like gifts from suitors. If it happens not to match my tastes, I have to pretend to love it. And it leaves me feeling as if there's been an attempt to buy me. I have to wonder, "how much does he expect in return?" Give her your time instead.

And yeah...be a great kisser.

Agreed.

In the immortal words of Cynthia Heimal: "a man who can't kiss, can't f**k."

This reminds me of the advice that David DeAngelo talks about, and probably a slew of other "dating experts". This approach is really nothing new, but everyone selling their product "invented" it themselves.

Yes, some of it's good advice. Even the badstuff will work on certain woman, if that's the kind of woman you want to attract and the sort of relationships you want to have.

I have to agree with some of the other posters though, that the backhanded compliments and teasing is walking a fine line. It's really easy to be an asshole instead of a laid back, funny, confident guy. If you are acting the role, women will know.

I often hear from the dating "experts" that woman will deny things like backhanded compliments working, when they actually do. Really, do you need to insult someone at the same time you compliment them to get into their pants? Get real. Just be a confident, interesting person that someone likes to be around, and most of all, be honest and straight-forward.

My mom used to say "a man who can't dance, can't f**k" Of course she didn't use that word, she probably said "make love" or just left the sentence hanging I bet lol.

Different times I guess, same thought. I think she has a point on that one too

An expansion on this that directly relates to SL -- learn to be descriptive in your texting and mix it up. Describe every aspect of that kiss..... every detail of that touch.

I used to dance a lot in RL and your mom is probably right. If a man cannot mange to move his hips on a dance floor, I likely will not be too impressed with those hip moves in the bedroom.

Although there was one or two that managed to impress me with things besides their hips.