Sl relationships What do you get out of it?

Just a simple question that has been buzzing around in my head.

What do people, who are happy and content with married life in RL, get out of a relationship in RL?

Don't really understand your question... Are you meaning SL with this: "get out of a relationship in RL?"?

I know ppl that has two different relationships... Happy ones too. RL and SL, different ppl...

I respect it but I couldn't. Wouldn't be in SL with somebody that has a relationship in RL. I've been, but never more

Are you asking how it's possible to be close to someone without touching them? P:
I guess that sums up my answer: A person is a person, regardless of whether you can touch them.
Not that touching is meaningless, but I believe even in person we are already conditioned to overcoming that.

I'm not quite sure how to approach this question... It is something I have thought about but never really answered to myself.

I am not with anyone in RL. But I am in SL
Personally, I would find it hard to have a serious SL relationship if I did have a RL partner. I wouldn't mind it if it was strictly the characters/avatars on the screen - but I find it hard to separate RL and SL emotion. It would totally depend on if my RL partner minded. I would have to make sure that my SL partner did not come before my RL partner and if i ever felt like i was cheating i would have to stop. I'm just not built to deceive or cheat on someone - even if it was just me who felt that i was cheating.

However, I am aware that others can separate it better so another person's RL would not really stop me. It is their choice and their's alone. But I would totally respect the other person's need to put RL first And it is none of my beeswax about them cheating or not cheating or anything.

I am lucky, I have found a guy who I love to spend time with. I love him and he loves me and really, thats all I care about

I don't know how to explain everything properly without going on and on with myself so I will stop there and let others answer.


btw: you may find this thread useful
/327/a3/228226/1.html

It's a very grey question.

Spending time online with someone at the cost of spending less with someone IRL has been done to death elsewhere. Many people call this cheating.

I know someone who has SL boyfriends partly due to hubby being out a lot. I mentioned almost accidently to her the other day SL is not the best place for serious relationships. She replied if she wanted a serious relationship she'd gravitate more around brits.

When my fiancee isn't online I flirt. She know this .. not happy with it surprise surprise but she admits she flirts LOL.

It's a minefield .. but the important thing is that your RL partner knows, understands and really approves of it. Anything less is cheating in my book.

Usually sex, but without the guilt because in their mind it's not "real" ... despite the fact it's real people engaging in it, potentially hurting other people in their life if they found out about it.

Word.

I've spoken of this before here. After my SL partnership dissolved, my RL partner said to me one day, "I liked it better when Feline had a boyfriend." It was touching, as I was at the time quietly grieving the loss of the SL partnership, and it showed that he recognizes that SL is enrichment to my RL, not a replacement for it.

I know from experience that no one person can be all things to us. For example, it's inevitable for you to want to talk at length about topics that bore your beloved to tears. Finding someone inworld who fills those voids seems a good solution for me. And it spares my RL partner a considerable number of dinner conversations spent listening to me talk about various LSL scripting calls, which I'm sure he's endlessly grateful for.

The important thing is transparency, as Bilbo pointed out. And perspective. Relationships in SL need to be kept in their place. The trick is to know what that place is. It varies for each of us.

I don't know. I don't get it. I'm in a relationship IRL....and I'm happy.....and he isn't home because he's in Iraq.....but I still have no desire to form some kind of psuedo-romance in SL. I have great friends in SL....I get all I need out of those friendships of human companionship.....I could not, would not....be able to get into all that mushy sweety pie honey bun (gag) lovey dovey crap with someone in a virtual world. I'm a realist....I reserve all the mush for my RL love....who is indeed worthy and capable of returning that intimacy in spades.
However....I have wonderful friends in SL...who have sond SL partners...and they are happy (seemingly) at least with-in the context I know them, in SL. The people I do know who are married and also in an SL romance..... well...lets just say it aint pretty. I've seen some horrble things happen....and some very unhappy people, and it's sad to witness but I stay the hell out of it. To each his/her own.... *shrug*

It's not what you get out of it. It's what you don't get out of it. You don't get crabs, aids, or pregnant.

Finally a 2K comment I can agree with.

My SLife enhances my RLife.
Me and my SL partner are friends 1st. Just like having any friend there are benefits. He is someone to talk to, share my feelins with, etc...

I am not married in Rl but date and have a steady companion. My "steady" (hate the term boyfriend) has sat with me when I am in-world. He understands that this is just fantasy for me and he knows I am partnered.

But he tells me he liked it better when I was an escort.

a solid chance at destroying their marriage? i don't get it either.

Well it depends.

-Some people who are married have SL relationships with the blessing of their RL partner.

-Some people who are married have SL relationships with the grudging acceptance of their RL partner.

-Some people who are married have SL relationships without telling their RL partner.

These situations change things quite a bit. Those in the first group aren't going to destroy their marriage. Those in the third group might not much of a marriage to destroy.

Male 34 seeks attractive lady 30-40 with GSOH for dates and possible romance.

<Is this the correct place for me to shamelessly advertise for an SL relationship? No? Thought so >

Try the 'Products Wanted' forum

If a marriage or any other relationship is solid then it can't be easily broken.

What do I get out of it? I've met someone who if I had met RL may not have become anything more than a friend, but defiitely would have become that. I have that part and someone who quite simply GETS me. Even if that was all, it would be enough.

I think it's the *newness* of a new romance.

I am not in an RL relationship right now (after the last one I'm taking a break!) and I don't think I would be doing this in SL if I were.

However, I think the thrill of a new relationship is pretty heady stuff. Sometimes even a solid RL partnership can slide into a comfortable rut after a while.

Little Brann's in love and she's giddy, she can't eat, she can't sleep, she thinks about her sweety all the time and melts when she sees his name on her screen. We spend hours and hours just talking (the content of the remaining hours are private ) - a great way to wait out lag time.
This is way too much fun to pass up.

I can see how people in RL relationships might be tempted by the excitement of flirting and new relationships. Unfortunate, however, if this ends up harming RL.

and bring your Visa.

Only if that other person was being lied to. What about the very many who sensibly are able to treat it openly, as roleplay or whatever?

In any event, the real perfidity is lying. And there are many, many liars out there in more ways than one.

Shared entertainment, that my friends in SL and I can both enjoy.

I don't do much sex in SL. Honestly, I don't have much time for it, for many reasons. But I do on occasion. I'm married and completely monogamous in RL. I also have a Partner in SL and a handful of special friends that I am intimate with. My Partner and special friends in SL, and my mate in RL, know beyond any doubt that the scenes that my SL Partner or special friends and I portray are nothing more than collaborative fiction for us to enjoy. Like working on writing a book or a movie together, for our mutual pleasure. We all know I will NEVER consider doing any sort of RL meet-up or date with my SL Partner or anyone else that I share intimate time with in SL. So, for me, it's no different than reading an adult magazine or watching an adult movie, except that I have direct input on what the actors or characters do.

What does one get out of an SL relationship?

I dunno. Not long ago I completely scoffed at the idea. Now, I think I'm interested in finding out.

It seems unlikely, though. My typist is absolutlely no good at such things in RL. I have no reason to believe that I will do any better. He's already tried everything he can muster, and my resources clearly don't exceed his.

It would be quite possible to destroy a RL relationships due to a SL relationship without any lying taking place.

Cheating: A person who behaves dishonestly in order to gain an advantage. It implies deception. Whether you 'lie' in RL or SL, it's still a lie. If all who are involved are told of ongoing relationships, then it's not lying (cheating).



I have to disagree with that, it is the choice of everyone involved, or should be. If someone is not told, then they can't make a choice...

Emotionally, a SL relationship, whether they be friends or lovers = a RL relationships.

I completely agree.

"Flirting is the second cousin of cheating"
Adam Sandler as Dave Buznik in Anger Management