Second Life Forums Archive - im not the first and wont be the last

Ceka Cianci

SuperPremiumExcaliburAcc#

Join date: 31 Jul 2006

Posts: 4,489

02-07-2009 17:41

you're clingin like velcro on the slightest bit of hope.

you need some upbeat for all the negative you have goin on...this always helps me.
i would listen to this then move on with your life..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByL8a58docg&feature=related

_____________________

Free Your Mind
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Cristalle Karami

Lady of the House

Join date: 4 Dec 2006

Posts: 6,222

02-07-2009 18:31

Why did your counselor tell you to wait?

My opinion hasn't changed, she's just prolonged your anxiety.

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Windsweptgold Wopat

Registered User

Join date: 24 May 2007

Posts: 1,003

02-07-2009 18:56

You counselor telling you to wait for someone you have never net who has not contacted you? Change counselors. I can understand how you feel i am also in an ol relationship with someone for OS but she tells you to wait then nothing? seems odd to me

Kaos Jansma

Registered User

Join date: 2 Jul 2007

Posts: 120

02-07-2009 19:43

this is really hard to say and harder to do, but if she asked to be excused from the relationship (for whatever reason), and you love her, you will excuse her from it
period
(my opinion only)

LittleToe Bartlett

Registered User

Join date: 3 Oct 2006

Posts: 68

02-07-2009 20:30

Samuel Beckett

Cascando

1

why not merely the despaired of
occasion of
wordshed

is it not better abort than be barren

the hours after you are gone are so leaden
they will always start dragging too soon
the grapples clawing blindly the bed of want
bringing up the bones the old loves
sockets filled once with eyes like yours
all always is it better too soon than never
the black want splashing their faces
saying again nine days never floated the loved
nor nine months
nor nine lives

2

saying again
if you do not teach me I shall not learn
saying again there is a last
even of last times
last times of begging
last times of loving
of knowing not knowing pretending
a last even of last times of saying
if you do not love me I shall not be loved
if I do not love you I shall not love

the churn of stale words in the heart again
love love love thud of the old plunger
pestling the unalterable
whey of words

terrified again
of not loving
of loving and not you
of being loved and not by you
of knowing not knowing pretending
pretending

I and all the others that will love you
if they love you

3

unless they love you

LittleToe Bartlett

Registered User

Join date: 3 Oct 2006

Posts: 68

02-07-2009 20:30

alternatively-

lovers are like buses.

if you miss one, another will be along in about 15 mintues.

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:04

From: Annisha Pevensey

Hey all

As the thread states heartbreak in sl is all too common

I posted here last week stating my gf has become ill in RL and wasnt able to come online as often. Well it ended today. She doesnt feel she can be a proper gf to me now so its ended. We got our partnership dissolved and im absolutely heartbroken. Before she got sick the rship was going along perfectly. Every aspect of our rship was 100 pecent. At first i thought she was just making excuses when she first said she couldn come online...but we have spoken numerous times on the phone and she was crying her eyes out. It was quite traumatic for both of us bc the love is still so strong.

Anyway i dont know if i can go on sl anymore. She was the only reason i went online and now there doesnt seem any purpose. It just seems very empty to me now and whenever im in there i always log on at our castle. I just cant beat to move out of there. We shared so many wonderful memories *crys and crys* Ahhh me and my partner also wanted to meet up in rl as well. Yes i still call her my partner bc i cant get used to her not being my partner

(( I tried everything to convince her that i would wait for her but she doesnt want to hurt me anymore. She doesnt know how long she will be sick for and she is confined to her bed alot. OMG what am i going to do????? i never knew sl love could be so painful. My heart is breaking every minute of every day and my yearning to be with her is becoming so much more intense.

*hangs her head and sobs uncontrollably*

I was incredibly sorry to hear your story. But it is a familiar story in SL. You should always bear in mind that SL can be a training ground for fantasists and fraudsters. If a partner in SL or RL has clearly said that they don't want to be with you, then my strong advice is to take it at face value and move on. By declaring your ongoing love you merely gift that person with absolute control over you. Don't go there.

Whatever you do, DO NOT pay her "medical bills" or give her anything of material value. To you, say, $36,000 might seem like small fry compared to the love you feel, but you have to bear in mind that for the other person, it might be that all they ever wanted, right from the start, was for you to give her $36,000, or perhaps clean you out entirely.

Don't fool yourself with the "100 per cent perfect" thing - that is probably all a complete lie. You will probably have to face the fact that she has now made an alt and is now pursuing her next victim, and has been going through the same cycle for twenty years.

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:13

From: Lindal Kidd

Let the OP give their all, and let her sick friend take what she can..

This advice sounds oddly familiar.

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:16

From: Kaimi Kyomoon

You may never have definite proof of what your girlfriend was really thinking and feeling but if you know that you felt love and happiness in YOUR heart that is enough and it's a memory you should cherish. We tend to think we need to feel loved by another but in the long run feeling love for another is more real and more important to our well being.

Kaimi - you have a wonderful heart, and everything you say rings so true.

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:24

From: Annisha Pevensey

I know somene said she might be faking the illness but if she is then she is a simply brlliant actress.

It's probably best to run with the brilliant actress assumption, or at least, keep it in mind. If she is an actress, even a bad one, and you are blindly in love with her, you are screwed, trust me.

Take a step back, and do not assume that anything that went before was real, or that anything that happens next is real, particularly if it involves "If only I had $36,000 to pay for my operation, then I could be in SL more, and we could have again what we once had before."

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:26

From: Cristalle Karami

Is this a SL-only relationship? Be wary, some people fake illnesses and death just to get away, and come back as an alt. I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but that is a worse hurt and you should be aware that it happens... and that you should steel yourself in case it is the case here.

It happens in RL too. But your advice is extremely valid.

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:28

From: Annisha Pevensey

Hey we had taken it into rl...ie i have her home phone number and her mobile number as well. I do beleive she was genuine because everytime i have spoken to her on the phone lately she has been breaking down in tears. So i do beleive she was telling me the truth. Anyway if she did become an alt i would never find out, would i???

Breaking down in tears is the first class you take in Acting School. It means nothing at all. Just DO NOT give her any money!

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:37

From: Annisha Pevensey

I tell you what im close to drinking. I know i shouldnt have been doing tis but ive been calling her up to see how shes doing and i always get her voice mail. I leave msgs but to no avail. The last message i got was about the snowstorms. Im just hoping shes not answering coz the phone lines are down. When she does txt back her msgs are usually so cold and distant. I dont know why she is treating me like this.

Oh god i know i have to let go but i just cant seem to at the moment. Its so difficult. I keep looking at the whose online section on this site in the hope that i will see her name but to no avail. I know this sounds mad but she gave me her password to her sl account and she hasnt been online. God i miss her...this is crap. Yes im a whinging idiot who is probably acting terribly immature...but love makes me immature *sighs*

If you let her treat you this, then all you are doing is making yourself more vulnerable for when she targets her mark. Try this:

Offer her $36,000 to help with her medical bills. If she says "No, I couldn't do that, that is wrong. But maybe........ okay, I will pay you back as soon as I can, when I am better I will work to pay you back until my fingers bleed...... Yes, OMG, thank you, that would really get me out of a hole. OMG, you really do love me. Here is the bank account number for the transfer..."

or she says anything like that, then run for the hills. Very distant hills. Other side of the planet if possible.

_____________________

Rudolph Ormsby

Registered User

Join date: 31 Oct 2006

Posts: 142

02-08-2009 01:47

From: Annisha Pevensey

Im so confused. Im thinking of actually paying the rent for her just in case she is really sick and then at least when she comes back she has a place to live still. From what ive written what are your opinions?? THanks

Oh God, NO!

Do not let ANY MONEY exchange hands. First it will be $3, then $300, then $3000, then $36,000. When she's bled you dry, taken all of your savings, and God forbid, you have actually taken out a loan to "bail her out", then she will drop you again and you will never hear from her again. Then where will you be?

Even if you then duck out and move on, she will do everything in her power to destroy your reputation, possibly out of sheer malice, but in the very least so that she can maintain the false veneer of being honourable, so that she can more easily bleed her next victim dry. DO NOT GO THERE. If you need a counsellor now, then in three months you will need a padded cell if you let her get away with this.

_____________________

Annisha Pevensey

Registered User

Join date: 10 Oct 2008

Posts: 91

02-08-2009 05:25

LOL where did the 36,000$ come from for the operation?? She has never asked me for money thank god *phew* And the idea to pay her rent is mine. I havent even told her im going to do that. I figure i may as well pay it so i still have a place to live. Its really a very nice big castle hehe. Ill pay the months rent for her and if shes not back by then i will stop and find somewhere else to live.

Anyway i am finally going to take a big step back now and start the healing process. I wold like to have waited for her and see what happens but i have to start looking after myself now. I have told her if she ever needs a friend i will be there for her...but dont worry folks, not financially.

Czari Zenovka

I've Had it With "PC"!

Join date: 3 May 2007

Posts: 3,688

02-08-2009 07:16

From: Rudolph Ormsby

Whatever you do, DO NOT pay her "medical bills" or give her anything of material value. <snip>

Don't fool yourself with the "100 per cent perfect" thing - that is probably all a complete lie. You will probably have to face the fact that she has now made an alt and is now pursuing her next victim, and has been going through the same cycle for twenty years.

QFT. Unfortunately something similar to the above occurred to someone I knew on IRC. She met a man on IRC, then met in RL and made plans to marry. The man said he was in med school and would be graduating soon. Then later he told my friend he had a brain tumor but it should be ok as it was caught soon.

Time went on and then the asking for money began. He supposedly worsened and his "friend" came online to talk to my friend.

The story is long and involved. My friend was encouraged to post it on a private website as a caution to others in the community. I was going to post the URL but even though only IRC nicks are used, don't want to risk a TOS violation.

Bottom line, my friend lost a lot of money on a man she thought loved her and wanted to marry her while his "friend" was him in another persona and likely wooing someone else.

My heart goes out to those sincere people who love...I've just learned from so many years online to be careful and not take everything at face value, especially where one's heart and finances are involved.

_____________________

*Czari's Attic* ~ Relive the fun of exploring an attic for hidden treasures!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Rakhiot/82/99/111

During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- George Orwell

HoneyBear Lilliehook

Owner, The Mall at Cherry

Join date: 18 Jun 2007

Posts: 4,500

02-09-2009 09:06

Glad to hear it

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URL=http://virtualfreebiesblog.com

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im not the first and wont be the last
Ceka Cianci SuperPremiumExcaliburAcc# Join date: 31 Jul 2006 Posts: 4,489	02-07-2009 17:41 you're clingin like velcro on the slightest bit of hope. you need some upbeat for all the negative you have goin on...this always helps me. i would listen to this then move on with your life.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByL8a58docg&feature=related _____________________ Free Your Mind http://www.flickr.com/photos/ceka_cianci/
Cristalle Karami Lady of the House Join date: 4 Dec 2006 Posts: 6,222	02-07-2009 18:31 Why did your counselor tell you to wait? My opinion hasn't changed, she's just prolonged your anxiety. _____________________ Affordable & beautiful apartments & homes starting at 150L/wk! Waterfront homes, 575L/wk & 300 prims! House of Cristalle low prim prefabs: secondlife://Cristalle/111/60 http://cristalleproperties.info http://careeningcristalle.blogspot.com - Careening, A SL Sailing Blog
Windsweptgold Wopat Registered User Join date: 24 May 2007 Posts: 1,003	02-07-2009 18:56 You counselor telling you to wait for someone you have never net who has not contacted you? Change counselors. I can understand how you feel i am also in an ol relationship with someone for OS but she tells you to wait then nothing? seems odd to me
Kaos Jansma Registered User Join date: 2 Jul 2007 Posts: 120	02-07-2009 19:43 this is really hard to say and harder to do, but if she asked to be excused from the relationship (for whatever reason), and you love her, you will excuse her from it period (my opinion only)
LittleToe Bartlett Registered User Join date: 3 Oct 2006 Posts: 68	02-07-2009 20:30 Samuel Beckett Cascando 1 why not merely the despaired of occasion of wordshed is it not better abort than be barren the hours after you are gone are so leaden they will always start dragging too soon the grapples clawing blindly the bed of want bringing up the bones the old loves sockets filled once with eyes like yours all always is it better too soon than never the black want splashing their faces saying again nine days never floated the loved nor nine months nor nine lives 2 saying again if you do not teach me I shall not learn saying again there is a last even of last times last times of begging last times of loving of knowing not knowing pretending a last even of last times of saying if you do not love me I shall not be loved if I do not love you I shall not love the churn of stale words in the heart again love love love thud of the old plunger pestling the unalterable whey of words terrified again of not loving of loving and not you of being loved and not by you of knowing not knowing pretending pretending I and all the others that will love you if they love you 3 unless they love you
LittleToe Bartlett Registered User Join date: 3 Oct 2006 Posts: 68	02-07-2009 20:30 alternatively- lovers are like buses. if you miss one, another will be along in about 15 mintues.
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:04 From: Annisha Pevensey Hey all As the thread states heartbreak in sl is all too common I posted here last week stating my gf has become ill in RL and wasnt able to come online as often. Well it ended today. She doesnt feel she can be a proper gf to me now so its ended. We got our partnership dissolved and im absolutely heartbroken. Before she got sick the rship was going along perfectly. Every aspect of our rship was 100 pecent. At first i thought she was just making excuses when she first said she couldn come online...but we have spoken numerous times on the phone and she was crying her eyes out. It was quite traumatic for both of us bc the love is still so strong. Anyway i dont know if i can go on sl anymore. She was the only reason i went online and now there doesnt seem any purpose. It just seems very empty to me now and whenever im in there i always log on at our castle. I just cant beat to move out of there. We shared so many wonderful memories crys and crys Ahhh me and my partner also wanted to meet up in rl as well. Yes i still call her my partner bc i cant get used to her not being my partner (( I tried everything to convince her that i would wait for her but she doesnt want to hurt me anymore. She doesnt know how long she will be sick for and she is confined to her bed alot. OMG what am i going to do????? i never knew sl love could be so painful. My heart is breaking every minute of every day and my yearning to be with her is becoming so much more intense. hangs her head and sobs uncontrollably I was incredibly sorry to hear your story. But it is a familiar story in SL. You should always bear in mind that SL can be a training ground for fantasists and fraudsters. If a partner in SL or RL has clearly said that they don't want to be with you, then my strong advice is to take it at face value and move on. By declaring your ongoing love you merely gift that person with absolute control over you. Don't go there. Whatever you do, DO NOT pay her "medical bills" or give her anything of material value. To you, say, $36,000 might seem like small fry compared to the love you feel, but you have to bear in mind that for the other person, it might be that all they ever wanted, right from the start, was for you to give her $36,000, or perhaps clean you out entirely. Don't fool yourself with the "100 per cent perfect" thing - that is probably all a complete lie. You will probably have to face the fact that she has now made an alt and is now pursuing her next victim, and has been going through the same cycle for twenty years. _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:13 From: Lindal Kidd Let the OP give their all, and let her sick friend take what she can.. This advice sounds oddly familiar. _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:16 From: Kaimi Kyomoon You may never have definite proof of what your girlfriend was really thinking and feeling but if you know that you felt love and happiness in YOUR heart that is enough and it's a memory you should cherish. We tend to think we need to feel loved by another but in the long run feeling love for another is more real and more important to our well being. Kaimi - you have a wonderful heart, and everything you say rings so true. _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:24 From: Annisha Pevensey I know somene said she might be faking the illness but if she is then she is a simply brlliant actress. It's probably best to run with the brilliant actress assumption, or at least, keep it in mind. If she is an actress, even a bad one, and you are blindly in love with her, you are screwed, trust me. Take a step back, and do not assume that anything that went before was real, or that anything that happens next is real, particularly if it involves "If only I had $36,000 to pay for my operation, then I could be in SL more, and we could have again what we once had before." _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:26 From: Cristalle Karami Is this a SL-only relationship? Be wary, some people fake illnesses and death just to get away, and come back as an alt. I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but that is a worse hurt and you should be aware that it happens... and that you should steel yourself in case it is the case here. It happens in RL too. But your advice is extremely valid. _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:28 From: Annisha Pevensey Hey we had taken it into rl...ie i have her home phone number and her mobile number as well. I do beleive she was genuine because everytime i have spoken to her on the phone lately she has been breaking down in tears. So i do beleive she was telling me the truth. Anyway if she did become an alt i would never find out, would i??? Breaking down in tears is the first class you take in Acting School. It means nothing at all. Just DO NOT give her any money! _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:37 From: Annisha Pevensey I tell you what im close to drinking. I know i shouldnt have been doing tis but ive been calling her up to see how shes doing and i always get her voice mail. I leave msgs but to no avail. The last message i got was about the snowstorms. Im just hoping shes not answering coz the phone lines are down. When she does txt back her msgs are usually so cold and distant. I dont know why she is treating me like this. Oh god i know i have to let go but i just cant seem to at the moment. Its so difficult. I keep looking at the whose online section on this site in the hope that i will see her name but to no avail. I know this sounds mad but she gave me her password to her sl account and she hasnt been online. God i miss her...this is crap. Yes im a whinging idiot who is probably acting terribly immature...but love makes me immature sighs If you let her treat you this, then all you are doing is making yourself more vulnerable for when she targets her mark. Try this: Offer her $36,000 to help with her medical bills. If she says "No, I couldn't do that, that is wrong. But maybe........ okay, I will pay you back as soon as I can, when I am better I will work to pay you back until my fingers bleed...... Yes, OMG, thank you, that would really get me out of a hole. OMG, you really do love me. Here is the bank account number for the transfer..." or she says anything like that, then run for the hills. Very distant hills. Other side of the planet if possible. _____________________
Rudolph Ormsby Registered User Join date: 31 Oct 2006 Posts: 142	02-08-2009 01:47 From: Annisha Pevensey Im so confused. Im thinking of actually paying the rent for her just in case she is really sick and then at least when she comes back she has a place to live still. From what ive written what are your opinions?? THanks Oh God, NO! Do not let ANY MONEY exchange hands. First it will be $3, then $300, then $3000, then $36,000. When she's bled you dry, taken all of your savings, and God forbid, you have actually taken out a loan to "bail her out", then she will drop you again and you will never hear from her again. Then where will you be? Even if you then duck out and move on, she will do everything in her power to destroy your reputation, possibly out of sheer malice, but in the very least so that she can maintain the false veneer of being honourable, so that she can more easily bleed her next victim dry. DO NOT GO THERE. If you need a counsellor now, then in three months you will need a padded cell if you let her get away with this. _____________________
Annisha Pevensey Registered User Join date: 10 Oct 2008 Posts: 91	02-08-2009 05:25 LOL where did the 36,000$ come from for the operation?? She has never asked me for money thank god phew And the idea to pay her rent is mine. I havent even told her im going to do that. I figure i may as well pay it so i still have a place to live. Its really a very nice big castle hehe. Ill pay the months rent for her and if shes not back by then i will stop and find somewhere else to live. Anyway i am finally going to take a big step back now and start the healing process. I wold like to have waited for her and see what happens but i have to start looking after myself now. I have told her if she ever needs a friend i will be there for her...but dont worry folks, not financially.
Czari Zenovka I've Had it With "PC"! Join date: 3 May 2007 Posts: 3,688	02-08-2009 07:16 From: Rudolph Ormsby Whatever you do, DO NOT pay her "medical bills" or give her anything of material value. <snip> Don't fool yourself with the "100 per cent perfect" thing - that is probably all a complete lie. You will probably have to face the fact that she has now made an alt and is now pursuing her next victim, and has been going through the same cycle for twenty years. QFT. Unfortunately something similar to the above occurred to someone I knew on IRC. She met a man on IRC, then met in RL and made plans to marry. The man said he was in med school and would be graduating soon. Then later he told my friend he had a brain tumor but it should be ok as it was caught soon. Time went on and then the asking for money began. He supposedly worsened and his "friend" came online to talk to my friend. The story is long and involved. My friend was encouraged to post it on a private website as a caution to others in the community. I was going to post the URL but even though only IRC nicks are used, don't want to risk a TOS violation. Bottom line, my friend lost a lot of money on a man she thought loved her and wanted to marry her while his "friend" was him in another persona and likely wooing someone else. My heart goes out to those sincere people who love...I've just learned from so many years online to be careful and not take everything at face value, especially where one's heart and finances are involved. _____________________ Czari's Attic ~ Relive the fun of exploring an attic for hidden treasures! http://slurl.com/secondlife/Rakhiot/82/99/111 During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.- George Orwell
HoneyBear Lilliehook Owner, The Mall at Cherry Join date: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 4,500	02-09-2009 09:06 Glad to hear it _____________________ Virtual Freebies now has its own domain! URL=http://virtualfreebiesblog.com The Mall at Cherry Park - new vendors, new look!

Welcome to the Second Life Forums Archive

im not the first and wont be the last