A friend by any other name...

Recently, I discovered one of my new friends was an old one with a different avvie. Now I can understand a new start, trust me. But, why make friends with your old ones and not tell them straight away who you are?

I thought it was rather upsetting. I would have much preferred them just telling me who they were, instead of playing games for a few weeks first. Anyone who is my friend should know that if they wanted treated differently in this new avvie, I would happily oblige. It’s not that they were anything other than nice in this new avvie either, it’s just, am I not important enough to you to know the truth? Do I have to guess? Is this some kind of mind game?

What do you think? Have you done it? Would you do it? Would it bother you?

Get used to it. There are many people in SL who like to mindf**k others, even those they consider "friends". Sounds harsh, but it's true. You might just ask that one why they were not up front and see what you get back.

I'd be pretty upset as well personally. Not sure they would be my friend for much longer.

I hate that. I really, really do.

I take every avatar at face value (it's the only thing you can do, really, without driving yourself nuts). But when someone I've talked with for hours, or days, or weeks, suddenly says "ha ha, I'm really So-and-So"...well! They just won a free ticket to my Mute and Ban List.

If you are an alt of someone I know, and we meet, PLEASE tell me right away. I'll still treat you as a separate person...because that, too, is a way to keep everything sorted out in my mind.

I agree. I'd be more than a bit miffed.

I have done it occasionally as a joke, but for a very limited time only, otherwise it is *not* a joke. One of the main reasons I have alts is so that I can move in different circles, not confusing friends by having to cope with my differing personalities.

Pep (And yes, I *do* get upset when someone tries to fool me with an alt; overly so!)

Sorry Pep. Whoever that last girl you had a fling with was, forgot her name, it was me.

I have done that with my ex boyfriend =] but never with a friend

Seriously, they're insecure maybe, proly they are spying their friends like they wanna knoe if a friend is talkin bad or good about them while their pretending to be mia..something like that

I've never muted anyone. But I was upset. *sigh*

I should have seen the warning signs. They were always speculating if so-and-so was really so-and-so's alt. I think that entire circle of friends is suspect now. I hate that feeling.

Must have been someone with a similar name - I haven't had a "fling" with anyone in sl for about a year . . .

Pep ( . . . that I haven't met in rl as well. )

I think it was me actually,you might have been the one before.

Yep. I'm on your side too - fresh start = fresh friends. If you want to keep a few of the old ones, you say on the very first meeting, "Psst. It's me!" It's a lot of work to develop a friendship, you feel a person out, you try to find common ground for conversations, and you try to learn as much about them as possible. It takes time and a great deal of effort.

This person also has an advantage over you in that they know what to say and what to do to make you like them and it's easy to get you thinking, "Holy cow - this person likes all the same music and TV shows and all of that! We're soulmates!" when the reality of the matter is that you aren't, they just already know what to do to make you think so.

That is not how a friendship is made.

Boo and hiss to this person!

This all reminds me of the Scotsman who bought a defective kilt . . .

Pep ( . . . and couldn't do a fling with it. )

I lose count, he has so many.

Glad it's not just me then. Just seemed out of character for this person, and they didn't understand why it upset me. Very strange *sigh*

SL - so many women . . .

Pep ( . . . so few real women. )

PS Even fewer "real men".

thank you for this thread.

Don't worry,I'm sure some of those women were real men.

HAH!

I've actually considered doing that a few times... And have the army of alts to prove it. (>_<

In the end, my friends tell me to "just be Immy". I'm typically doubtful that I should believe them. I do it anyway. At least Immy is fun. (^_^)y

Nope - for a fling they have to be rl authenticated . . .

Pep ( . . . personally, not by LL or their associates.)

By phone or meeting in person?

Ugh, Rizzy, I'm sorry, and I definitely understand how you feel.

I switched avatars myself, but I did it gradually over time, and have always tried to be open about it with everyone (though I'm sure I inadvertently confused people).

If I wanted to change avatars and keep it a secret, I feel I'd have to stop hanging out at the same places with the same people; that would just be the cost of secrecy, to avoid making people feel deceived.

I know not everyone feels that way; people invest different amounts of "self" into their avatars and that mismatch can sometimes lead to hurt feelings even if that wasn't the intention.

Among other verification procedures.

Pep (It isn't stalking if it is invited. )

/me watches sadly as her hope of flinging with Pep dies a sad death.