Another bitching thread...
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Mickey Vandeverre
See you Inworld
Join date: 7 Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
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06-20-2009 20:33
From: Starling Cazalet Mickey you obviously have done some hurting in your time and i have seen some of the posts your write, you are no one to talk, you always some some snarky or disrespectful comment, so your opinions do not really matter, peolple like you who go around saying whatever pops into your mind and not caring if it hurts that person. So maybe before you open your mouth you should consider, does everyone think the same way as i do or am i just bitter and hate the world so i have a pessimistic view about everything and dont give a shit what people think. You need to change your thinking pattern, hurting people which you and so many others IS NOT A GAME...many have a sensitivity factor that others d not seem to notice or even care about. You are hurtful and rude and you should keep your rudeness to the bare minimum, that saying that you actually are human with a heart, if not disregard what im saying, but i do doubt the latter. Nothing I said was hateful or rude. It certainly did not deserve your tirade and insults. Yes, some times a dose of reality is often mistaken as snarkiness....unfortunately. Wanting to enjoy life and surround yourself with others who do....and avoid those who will make every minute of your life a living hell....does not exactly equate with "bitterness." Nothing I said was hurtful. You chose to make it so in your mind.....and that is an example of why you can't get over a "click off"..... And I do give a shit about people....more so than someone who sends a tirade like that to me, will ever know. I just reserve that for the nice people....which most people tend to do. And that is an example of "why" you got a "click off"......people simply don't want to deal with that kind of behavior. That's not rude....that's just straightforward truth.....reality......(whether you want to label it a game or not). |
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Milla Alexandre
Milla Alexandre
Join date: 22 Jan 2007
Posts: 1,759
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06-20-2009 21:33
Um.....(disclaimer....I've had 3 mojitos so my responses tonight are not filtered before I write them) The last time I remember being upset by a relationship ending after only 8 days....I was maybe....ooohhh.....14 years old. How does anyone get attached to someone in one week......especially someone who initially turned them off with arrogence. And furthermore......perhaps the signals she was sending by wanting to take it slow were not what he really wanted. You say by the time she decided what she wanted he was gone.....well he was likely picking up on the fact that she was hesitant about the whole thing.....and he obviously decided she wasn't the right match. It doesn't sound like any sort of genuine relationship was formed between them at all....not even a basic friendship. If they didn't click right away....and she had to 'work' to warm up to the idea......then what the heck is she losing besides someone that sort of showed an interest. If I stopped to count the men that 'sort of' showed an interest in me over the course of the last....ooohhh....25 years of my life (I'm 41) I'd be sitting here for days. The ALMOSTS don't count.....personally, someone's gotta know me a little more than 8 days for me to be at all emotionally affected by anything they say or do.....or for me to give a rats ass about their sudden absence. Like maybe a few months.....THEN perhaps the relationship will rank on a scale of importance in my life......maybe...... This is harsh I know.......but if 'your friend' is looking for something real in the virtual world, she'd better thicken her skin cause she'll probably have to weed thru a lot of wingnuts and arrogant morons and liars before she finds someone to truly, genuinely connect with. Tell your friend.....the wingnuts aren't worth her tears....noone is....certainly not anyone she met in a virtual world and knew for 8 days, sort of......The first thing she needs to do is VALUE HERSELF more then that.  |
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Ralektra Breda
Template Painter
Join date: 7 Apr 2008
Posts: 1,875
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06-20-2009 21:52
maybe he just wasn't into her?
I don't know why it is that some people think that because they are single and the other person is single, they should hookable.
I have met people, and after having conversations with them I realize they are not someone I want to spend my time with. Some people just don't click. If I 'dated' a guy a few times and then he didn't call me, I might wonder why but I'm not going to obsess over it.
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Dove Randt
Sassy little B*TCH
Join date: 4 Jun 2008
Posts: 196
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06-20-2009 22:17
From: Mickey Vandeverre Nothing I said was hateful or rude. It certainly did not deserve your tirade and insults.
Yes, some times a dose of reality is often mistaken as snarkiness....unfortunately. Wanting to enjoy life and surround yourself with others who do....and avoid those who will make every minute of your life a living hell....does not exactly equate with "bitterness."
Nothing I said was hurtful. You chose to make it so in your mind.....and that is an example of why you can't get over a "click off".....
And I do give a shit about people....more so than someone who sends a tirade like that to me, will ever know. I just reserve that for the nice people....which most people tend to do. And that is an example of "why" you got a "click off"......people simply don't want to deal with that kind of behavior.
That's not rude....that's just straightforward truth.....reality......(whether you want to label it a game or not). Mickey for the last time shut the fuck up, your posts in the forums are less then desirable. I know exactly how it is like a clic in the forums if one person says something everyone automatically follows, it is like high school all over again, how people band together. You only give a shit about people if they are in your immediate friendship list and not some person on the forums, i used to resent people like you in high school, you think your being all innocent with your comments but the person on the receiving end is probably hurting from your insensitivity. I find your comments, not just this thread but others as well, to be pessimistic or negative directed at the op or someone who disagrees with you..get over it, not everyone will agree with you, not everyone has the same ideas and opinions as you. You can disagree all you want with me, i really do not give a damn what you think. Just think every person you piss off is one less person who would ever vouch for you when you need it most. |
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Steven Hoyes
Registered User
Join date: 18 Jun 2009
Posts: 2
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06-20-2009 22:32
From: Dove Randt Mickey for the last time shut the fuck up, your posts in the forums are less then desirable. I know exactly how it is like a clic in the forums if one person says something everyone automatically follows, it is like high school all over again, how people band together. You only give a shit about people if they are in your immediate friendship list and not some person on the forums, i used to resent people like you in high school, you think your being all innocent with your comments but the person on the receiving end is probably hurting from your insensitivity. I find your comments, not just this thread but others as well, to be pessimistic or negative directed at the op or someone who disagrees with you..get over it, not everyone will agree with you, not everyone has the same ideas and opinions as you. You can disagree all you want with me, i really do not give a damn what you think. Just think every person you piss off is one less person who would ever vouch for you when you need it most. Whoa a cat fight hahahaha Dove you need to calm down, just ignore people you do not like *To the OP, that is what secondlife is as I have come to realize, the women are just as bad as the men, I have been guilty of doing it myself and I do not know anyone who has not. Secondlife is meant for people to do things they cannot in real, some take it overboard but not all are so bad, maybe your friend meets people from the wrong places. *Give me her name LOL I will rock her world.. |
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Mickey Vandeverre
See you Inworld
Join date: 7 Dec 2006
Posts: 2,542
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06-20-2009 22:47
From: Dove Randt Mickey for the last time shut the fuck up, your posts in the forums are less then desirable. I know exactly how it is like a clic in the forums if one person says something everyone automatically follows, it is like high school all over again, how people band together. You only give a shit about people if they are in your immediate friendship list and not some person on the forums, i used to resent people like you in high school, you think your being all innocent with your comments but the person on the receiving end is probably hurting from your insensitivity. I find your comments, not just this thread but others as well, to be pessimistic or negative directed at the op or someone who disagrees with you..get over it, not everyone will agree with you, not everyone has the same ideas and opinions as you. You can disagree all you want with me, i really do not give a damn what you think. Just think every person you piss off is one less person who would ever vouch for you when you need it most. You read a wee bit too bit much, a tad bit inaccurately, between the lines.... But have a nice evening anyway. |
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Jade Angkarn
Always a Night Owl
Join date: 6 Oct 2006
Posts: 209
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06-20-2009 23:13
He changed his mind.
Nothing wrong about that.
If he changed his mind, there was no match, and there is no "right or wrong" about it.
It can be hard to gracefully leave a situation and perhaps the manner in which the "dating relationship" was ended was less than desirable, but nobody was "wronged" here.
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Bree Giffen
♥♣♦♠ Furrtune Hunter ♠♦♣♥
Join date: 22 Jun 2006
Posts: 2,715
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06-20-2009 23:22
I think the best thing for your friend to do is to write a song... and take it to Nashville.
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Klunitz Aeon
Goon For Hire
Join date: 10 Dec 2007
Posts: 99
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06-20-2009 23:35
From my small amount of experience: many people have been in a relationship they were more invested in than the other party.
It happens. It's life. How you learn to take it is entirely up to you. A good majority of people learn to leave something alone when they have no control over it.
A week, a month, a year; we're all different. How we deal with, and react to, circumstances varies upon the individual. Again, completely understandable.
However, if a short amount of time throws you, or your friend, to a level like this, then perhaps you should not be so quick to point the finger at the other party involved.
A few people have mentioned that this is a game ... and well ... it can be. It's whatever you want it to be. That applies to RL as well. When it comes to dating, not everyone plays the game the same way. While some play hard to get, others find that to be more than they were bargaining for, and give up. Can you really blame them for that? If "your friend" was looking for someone to prove themselves, then this was not the person for them. And honestly, just because you meet someone who plays by your rules, does not mean you will be ultimately compatible.
If any of this makes sense, then yay! Otherwise, whatever, I've had a few too many cocktails tonight.
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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06-21-2009 01:30
From: Starling Cazalet Ok do not know how you were brought up but up but i was taught to treat people the way i wanted to be treated, were you abused as a child because anyone with a heart knows its not fair to mess with the feelings of others..no matter so many people commit suicide and hurt themselves and have low self esteem..it is people like you who make people want to die..you have to be sensitive to others, but hey it is only you who will have to deal with your lonely life because you choose to be spiteful to others because your self esteem is low...what is it they say people only put you down because they feel like shit themselves and want to hurt others to feel better. You're definitely in the wrong place if you feel like that, darling.  Pep (Earth I mean, not just Second Life. )
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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06-21-2009 01:36
From: Eric Stuart That's the most irresponsible and idiotic thing I hear people say..."Second Life is just a game".
A game tends to have set standards and rules. As well, a game (most times) involves you and non-human, AI characters. Second Life is completely driven by the people that involve themselves with it. Saying that it's just a game is a pathetic attempt to negate personal responsibility for what you do. Strip down the visuals effects and SL becomes just another way for people to communicate.
Hold on, I need to be a "typical male" here and go toy with some poor girls emotions, brb. This game is fun! I think you need to read some books about the games people play - in real life, which have an infinite number of rules and standards, except they are not always written down nor even communicated by those who understand them. And why do you think that considering life a game negates personal responsibility for what you do? You can *never* do that. Just as you can not be responsible for the stupid things others do and think, as you are demonstrating. Pep (I deal with lots of non-human characters all the time in real life.  ) PS I also wouldn't say that SL is *just* a game. 
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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06-21-2009 01:51
From: Starling Cazalet Ok once again i will say this was not me this was a friend of mine i have known since high school and yes she is not a needy person, but in that short time ( yes it was more then a few days real time not secondlife time, maybe close to a week and a half, i do not knwo the whole story) He told her he wanted the sl marriage the secondlife kids and all that shit which i personally do not agree with but hey that is her choice. He contacted her through imatch, she was not looking for anyone at all. She was the one who wanted to take things slow meaning no sex until after a certain amount of time, not him, he was being the typical man sex sex sex. He was not sleeping with someone else behind her back he seemed like a decent honest guy, let me remind you he wanted the relationship she did not, so no she was not clingy, in fact she was the one who wanted to be friends first but he was the one who wanted to be all affectionate and cuddly and my friend is no cuddler.
She actually got used to the idea of a relationship with him and that is when he decided that he couldnt give her the time anymore and it threw her off and it confused her and made her think what the hell did i do i was totally honest with him and he runs.
Was he wrong yes he should have communicated what he wanted from her, did she like him yes she told me he was very arrogant at first and it turned her off him but he grew on her.
So people before you judge someone maybe you should wait for the whole facts before you judge people, he was in the wrong not her, she was only guilty of knowing what she wanted and it was too late by the time she realized what she wanted that he left. May I make a constructive suggestion? I think "your friend" should go out and get some practice at dating in real life, so that she can attempt to cope with the significantly more complicated and intense relationships that can develop in sl - polyamorous mixed-species multi-sexual time-shifted line marriages anyone? Pep (Because it is pretty obvious that "your friend" has little or no experience of such things; how old did you say "she" was?) PS Alternatively just sit in front of the TV and watch more of those programmes where everybody lives happily ever after.
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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06-21-2009 02:32
From: Starling Cazalet I am so tired of hearing from my friends and other women in secondlife about how the men treat them in here. Be it childish behavior to full out blocking and ignoring them if they don't get their way.
Just today a friend of mine came to me crying because some guy who came to her from a dating site and wanted to date, so they did for a few days (they did not have sex and he was ok with it, wanted to take it slow) then he started to take his attention elsewhere and she gets the boot, why do you guys feel the need to play these stupid games with women, what do you get out of it, is it fun to you or just an ego boost. After knowing her for a while I asked a girl out a few years back and she said no, so I stopped being interested, 2 years later she tells me she wanted to go out but was playing hard to get, why the hell do women keep playing these stupid games with men, is it just an ego boost thing or what? I keep hearing "Women can do anything!" Apparently not, because it seems an impossibility for them to actually ask a guy out or give us a straight yes, no or even maybe............
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Bith Wierwight
Odd Bird
Join date: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 236
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06-21-2009 03:20
From: Dove Randt Mickey for the last time shut the fuck up, your posts in the forums are less then desirable. I know exactly how it is like a clic in the forums if one person says something everyone automatically follows, it is like high school all over again, how people band together. You only give a shit about people if they are in your immediate friendship list and not some person on the forums, i used to resent people like you in high school, you think your being all innocent with your comments but the person on the receiving end is probably hurting from your insensitivity. I find your comments, not just this thread but others as well, to be pessimistic or negative directed at the op or someone who disagrees with you..get over it, not everyone will agree with you, not everyone has the same ideas and opinions as you. You can disagree all you want with me, i really do not give a damn what you think. Just think every person you piss off is one less person who would ever vouch for you when you need it most. Wow. Chip: meet shoulder. Edit: /me reads "Dove's" and "Starling's" posts and smells alt.  Which one of you was the "friend" I wonder? And, BTW I am not in the "clic" ...whatever that is.
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Rated PG for Perfectly Ghastly.
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Stacy Poliatevska
Registered User
Join date: 9 Sep 2008
Posts: 44
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06-21-2009 06:47
i feel for your friend BUT lest its happened now rather then down the road, were your friend gets close to him.
ive had bad times with guys and im not the only one but i just lifted my head up high and carried on. tell your friend don't let one guy get her down, plenty more
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you meet people to please...please to meet meet people
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Clarissa Lowell
Gone. G'bye.
Join date: 10 Apr 2006
Posts: 3,020
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06-21-2009 09:20
From: Starling Cazalet then he started to take his attention elsewhere and she gets the boot, why do you guys feel the need to play these stupid games with women, what do you get out of it, is it fun to you or just an ego boost. Unfortunately, the answer to most human behavior is "because they can." |
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Finn Rhiannyr
Registered User
Join date: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 72
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06-21-2009 09:38
omg i just read through all this post..............someone get my valium..........
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Ava Velde
Registered User
Join date: 17 Jan 2009
Posts: 310
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:d
06-21-2009 10:40
From: Pserendipity Daniels Pep (I deal with lots of non-human characters all the time in real life. ) P(ee) (And those characters really take your breath away)  |
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spinster Voom
Registered User
Join date: 14 Jun 2007
Posts: 1,069
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06-21-2009 11:42
From: Tegg Bode After knowing her for a while I asked a girl out a few years back and she said no, so I stopped being interested, 2 years later she tells me she wanted to go out but was playing hard to get, why the hell do women keep playing these stupid games with men, is it just an ego boost thing or what?
No, it's because we think that you will think that we are easy, or slappers or something, if we don't play that GAME. When I got together with my RL bloke, at the age of thirty, and having known him since I was sixteen, I still kept him waiting half an hour on our first date (and he still bitches about it ten years later ). Perhaps it's gamesiness, perhaps it's an elaborate courtship dance. It's not even unique to humans. One of my cats is on heat at the moment (having been inexpertly spayed) and you could make a really good David Attenborough style documentary about the cat politics going on in our back garden night after night (after bluddy night). OP: tell your "friend" to lighten up and get straight back on the horse - there's plenty more frogs in the swamp. |
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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06-21-2009 12:38
From: Ava Velde P(ee) (And those characters really take your breath away) Not a very flattering photo of you Ava? Pep (I know my responses tend to deflate you. )
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Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère!
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Gabriele Graves
Always and Forever, FULL
Join date: 23 Apr 2007
Posts: 6,205
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06-21-2009 15:39
Second Life, You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.  *Settles in to see where this one goes*
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Dana Hickman
Leather & Lace™
Join date: 10 Oct 2006
Posts: 1,515
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06-21-2009 22:56
From: Starling Cazalet He told her he wanted the sl marriage the secondlife kids and all that...
She was the one who wanted to take things slow meaning no sex until after a certain amount of time, not him, he was being the typical man sex sex sex. Perhaps he thought her lack of gung-ho was because she wanted it to mean something. If so, then the marriage and kids part might've just been him telling her what he thought she wanted to hear.. to loosen her up and get to that sex sex sex. From: Starling Cazalet why do you guys feel the need to play these stupid games with women, what do you get out of it, is it fun to you or just an ego boost. Some guys totally get off crushing someones heart, which probably is an ego/hate/manipulate thing IMO. I've seen that other times it can be something as simple as not being very good at pinning down or handling their emotions and just react negatively to it. From: Starling Cazalet EDIT He came back to her the next day begging for her to forgive him..now what do you make of that See my last line above.. Sounds to me like he realized he does like her, and that he could've handled it better.... ...OR it's dramatic roleplay attempt number 2 at getting some coochie. From: Tegg Bode After knowing her for a while I asked a girl out a few years back and she said no, so I stopped being interested, 2 years later she tells me she wanted to go out but was playing hard to get, why the hell do women keep playing these stupid games with men, is it just an ego boost thing or what? So you don't think she's trashy or easy, and maybe because she wants you to finesse it out of her. Also because you're just supposed to know that "no" can also mean "maybe" or "yes" for some suitors, then decipher which one applies to you From: Tegg Bode I keep hearing "Women can do anything!"
Apparently not, because it seems an impossibility for them to actually ask a guy out... Sometimes for both sexes, the fear of looking foolish if you've read someone wrong makes status quo look the better choice. Personally, I don't mind asking a guy out if I think he's worth it and I like him.. I have before. A lot of guys don't expect that so the shock value is pretty funny sometimes. From: Ava Velde P(ee) (And those characters really take your breath away) LMAO! /me resists the urge to post the obvious 'needle dick' joke that's sooo warranted here
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Aeslyn Dae
over and out
Join date: 12 Jul 2007
Posts: 453
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06-22-2009 04:43
From: Clarissa Lowell Unfortunately, the answer to most human behavior is "because they can." *nods in agreement* -- Aes |
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Jackie Silverfall
One Happy Man
Join date: 28 Mar 2009
Posts: 687
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06-22-2009 05:07
From: Starling Cazalet I am so tired of hearing from my friends and other women in secondlife about how the men treat them in here. Be it childish behavior to full out blocking and ignoring them if they don't get their way.
Just today a friend of mine came to me crying because some guy who came to her from a dating site and wanted to date, so they did for a few days (they did not have sex and he was ok with it, wanted to take it slow) then he started to take his attention elsewhere and she gets the boot, why do you guys feel the need to play these stupid games with women, what do you get out of it, is it fun to you or just an ego boost.
Me personally i dont date in here because i know how pointless it can be, but for those poor women who get hurt all the time from these guys who are not man enough to stand up to their responsibility to be decent human beings. Im not saying the women in here are any different but since my friends only date men we do not see that side of things but i know it happens.
I am not saying all men in here are like this but for the most part i have not really seen the likes of the percentage of guys who are decent respectful men, are they just hiding or taken, but anyway i just find it sad so many get hurt in here by people who get a kick out of hurting someone's feelings.
Any thoughts on this, keep in mind i did not say all men or people, just the select few who choose to be less than worth it.
No he didnt he wanted a relationship genuinely or so said he did with the sl kids and all that jazz then bam he disappears on her.
EDIT Ok for one thing Eric he told her he was very interested then all of a sudden out of the blue she wasnt good enough for him, yes they were dating but the principle is that you dont lead a person on tell them you really like them and want to see where things go then the next min disappear without an explanation, that petty and childish and that is why my friend was hurt.
EDIT He came back to her the next day begging for her to forgive him..now what do you make of that, so tells me maybe he is bit too clingy and not her, i know many reasons why a guy comes back..one he can't find anyone better....two He really does like her and she had an effect on him....three, he has some secret ulterior motive Starling, I'm sorry your friend had this experience, but I do take issue with the blanket comments regarding males. I see this has been beaten to death but it's really not fair to lump all members of a gender together as you have done. Some of us treat people here the same way we treat people in RL. I won't go into my feelings about relationships but I will say that I've actually been been accused of being a "gentleman" by more than one woman. I'm not sure what your purpose was in posting, but I am a little miffed by it.
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Jackie
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Vance Adder
Registered User
Join date: 29 Jan 2009
Posts: 402
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06-22-2009 07:10
From: Tegg Bode After knowing her for a while I asked a girl out a few years back and she said no, so I stopped being interested, 2 years later she tells me she wanted to go out but was playing hard to get, why the hell do women keep playing these stupid games with men, is it just an ego boost thing or what?
If you really liked her, why did you just give up so easily at the first no? Maybe she wanted to see how much you wanted her. Apparently not much... |
