Why does this happen?

Couldn't put it better myself! *applauds* That is spot on!

Last night my partner and I bumped into an old tenant who is having awkward feelings about someone in SL wanting to cross over to RL but she's not known him that long - and she was getting the exact same advice. People need to always and only go with what they are comfortable with.

My SL partner waited almost 4 months for just my email address! - and he was respectful and patient enough to not even ask before that point!

Thats actually not always true. I look much better then my Avi. I also dress better then my Avi, but thats a different story....

Regards

Maggie

have pixel sex take his money and then run away from him

OMG I have a folder full of pics of male models from SL avies insisting that's who they are in RL. In one case, the guy sent a pic of a well-known Calvin Klein model! After I wiped the coffee off the screen I told him I looked just like my av too but my agent wouldn't allow me to post pics online because of copyright issues .... Yeah he believed me

Any tenant of an island will almost certainly have that island group in their profile, to be able to rez items in their homes. If you want to know who owns a group, look it up in search; the names in bold type are the group owners.

You picked up a strong feeling about this guy that was nothing to do with the words he typed. Your feelings are your guidance; they are far more to be trusted than anything or anyone else. Good feels good; bad feels bad. The trick is to look just below the initial feelings of excitement and hopes and note what you REALLY feel underneath. Any discomfort there is your indication that all is not what it seems. You folllowed that instinct - well done!

Isobel

You did the right thing. I'll never understand people that are so quick to share personal RL info.

I've often thought it would be a good idea if you received a notecard or briefing about online security and privacy when you arrive.

Also is the 1st Life tab thing really necessary?

Here's an oldie but goodie:

Volunteering to read to economically disadvantaged school children.

Volunteering to [insert one of a thousand possibilities here].

Deciding that when you're well off enough to have a computer and plenty of free time to be in SL and post to its forums, you really have nothing to feel sorry for yourself about.

Growing up.

To those of you who have seen me inworld... Imagine how it feels when I get IMed... "Hi... U R Cute... Do U look like UR avatar?" (O_O)

My 1st tab is vague and honest with a pic of my favorite Anime character of all time. (^_^)y

you know me so well.

ahem. not no-one. some are damm close.

Pics or it didn't happen.

I could copy a pic off the Victoria's Secret web site, post that in my first life tab and tell you that's me. Its the internet, pictures could be of anybody. I just don't share them. Period.

Anyone who insists upon getting a RL picture on first meeting is not someone that I would want as a friend and I would tell them that and leave. You have nothing at all to feel bad about, Cat.

i mean really, anyone could nab a pic from anywhere on the web and say it was them. use yer imgination. afterall, that's what SL is all about.

Look. This is Second Life... not Date dot Com, not Myspace dot Com, or anything else like that. This is for our Second Lives, not our first. Why do you want to treat this like a date site? There are enough of those out there to choke a whole buncha horses. Whatever dream romance you might happen upon here will not be translating back to the real world. People who can and will fly you off to Paris for a quick lunch are probably too busy taking someone to lunch in Paris... and working on making real money to be on here romancing the avatar stone.

99.9999999x10% of the AVs here do not look even remotely like the people behind them hitting at the keyboard. I'm sure that some people do *think* they resemble their AVs but, in reality, nah. I've yet to see an AV with cellulite or an appendectomy scar. *winks*

That's beside the point.

When someone asks you on here for your RL photo then show them a photo of your avatar... in whatever pose you want to show that person. Say, "This IS the real me, in my Second Life."

I've written about this before. The truth is that we can make our avatars glitter like gold... but it's fool's gold. There are no attachment or enhancements for the reality of a personality. That always floats to the surface. Always.

Be thankful you didn't waste more time on the jerk. Move on to the next jerk. You might find a gem, you might find a horse-apple, but it can be fun looking, if you don't take SL so seriously.

A clue, though: If anyone ever just up and says "This is how I look in real life too", chances are they do not. Chances are too, that even if they do, there is something wrong with them upstairs - otherwise they wouldn't even think of mentioning it.

It's not that hard to read people, they often tell you exactly who they are through what they say and what they omit. It also takes more time to write than talk (unless using 'voice'), so what people decide to actually type tells us a lot.



Looks are important to him.



Status and wealth impress you - so do looks.



He doesn't take no for an answer - usually means he's a taker, not a giver. The fact that you initially wanted to comply tells us a lot about you, too..



You are too hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong or ugly about being 40yrs old and curvy. Once you see this and begin to love yourself for who you are, you also will be more accepting of others - and models who own islands won't impress you so quickly.



You only just met the guy. How 'bad' can you feel? Are you looking for a mate? Here?

You only waisted a few hours - think of it as a bad date. I'm glad you finally hightailed it out of there (and finally listened to your instincts), but this isn't as bad as you think. Take it as a learning experience and move on. Try and make friends instead of potential boyfriends. You might see it as him evaluating you on your looks, but you were doing the same - 'evaluating'.

There are many great comments on this thread. I'll just add a couple of mine.

1. Whenever someone is pressuring you for pictures or voice or webcams (all of which happen), remember, you don't owe this guy anything.

2. No means no, whether it is in SL or RL. If someone will not respect your wishes, get away from them ASAP.

3. Mixing SL and RL is generally not a good thing. There are exceptions of course, but you should be very, very careful exposing your heart to anyone in SL, and certainly more careful exposing personal details.

I hope it turns out positive for you.

I think so, not all use it but not all use the build menus either.............

i have to laugh at the desperation of some people. not talking to you, OP. not at all.i have no respect for people i am about to describe.

i find great humor (and red flags) when i communicate with someone and they start IMing me asking who i was talking about or what i meant with the clear and obvious intention of hoping to spark new and 2ndary online relationships, even with the 1st online relationship in the same room. gross.

I got one of those too. I wonder if it's the same guy or if there are others using a photo of that same model. Wouldn't it be fun to get them all together? We could do a game show... "Would the REAL Calvin Klein model please stand up?"

be glad you got that face pic, and not one of just his naughty bits. LOL

There's an easy way to resolve that question. Ask them for a picture of them holding two or more preselected but unrelated items. I usually ask for a pic holding a pice of fruit and a plush rabbit.

they obviously have a digital camera and file hosting capabilities.

http://www.theage.com.au/ffxImage/urlpicture_id_1061368350378_2003/08/20/fimmel,0.jpg

Look familiar? LOL

Isobel

Yes well myself I usually don't have an RL feelings untill I have seen RL picture or used voice together, but I don't pry for either, I wait till offered, and possibly that's a bad and stupid thing too...........
If it was very early on then yes, he's probably a sleeze who probably gets all the good girls anyway while nice guys who don't put up a facade get ignored and walked over :/

Re: the Calvin Klein model - was it Antonio Sabato, Jr.? *drool*

Now I am dying to know if that was really him or not- I will have to pay attention to more Calvin Klein models and compare...