Online Tootsies, sign in here!

Just to clarify, I think that, while the possibility of forming an out-of-game relationship, is indeed real, more often than not, there are more boundaries to that becoming a reality. (Again, I said sometimes. There are quite a few notable exceptions. )

My thoughts have always been in most cases that the world ingame is just that, another world that is not our own. In most cases, I tend to leave RL as much behind as possible. Why? Because if I had wanted RL in the first place, I wouldn't be playing games as much. There would be a real world out there and the rewards there are much more tangible. For me, and others, SL and other games have always been a creative outlet and an escape, and that's the way I play things. Granted, a lot of my online personality and those who know me as a friend get to see a lot of my RL personality. (I'm not going to be untrue to who I am or how I feel or how I should behave.) Also granted, there have been times when I've not said or flat-out lied about my RL gender, because I know for a fact that the perception of RL gender, even in a make-believe world, can have a great impact on how you are treated and talked to. I would rather people talk to the ingame me, not the RL me (unless I've invited you into that part, and in that case, the doors are open.)

I have, however, always made it quite clear that I wasn't interested in any type of romantic RL relationships with any of these people, and that what we say and do remains ingame or in an ingame context. As I mentioned before, I have a wonderful girlfriend who is kind, respectful and most importantly understanding, and I would never do anything ingame to jeopardize that.

All in all, SL has become a reflection of RL, but in my opinion, it shouldn't be looked at as a see-through mirror, and those who take it as such are looking too deeply into a bunch of pixels.

Agreed and agreed!

And I know what you mean about how so many males make female avs with gigantic breasts. I think it has a lot to do with the time we live in. Recently in the media, at least in the US, models and actresses are seen as these tiny little thin things with no breasts whatsoever, and since females seem to be (for whatever reason) really influenced by the media portrayal of women, that's what most of their avs end up looking like. Males, on the other hand, just like big breasts (for whatever reason) and so, whatever may be in style, they just override it with OMG BIG TITZ IS GUD LOL.

Just as an interesting point, my female avs are always short, curvy, have pretty short torsos (What is UP with the long torso fetish going on these days! Classic shapes, people, not these stick figure women!! AaagghH!!), and have "cute" looks as opposed to supposed "sultry" ones, and my male avs are always somewhat feminine. (DOWN WITH MASCULINITY, PLZ!!1`)

Anyway, it'd probably be more of an interesting post if I actually told my gender, but if you want to find THAT out, you'll have to become my friend and then ask me.

8D

Speaking of wonky shapes, what, exactly is it with people who design their avatars to have no waist, much less any body weight?

I'll admit, my breasts are on the somewhat large side (84's, to be exact), but I also have body fat, as well as a figure other than beanpole.

In fact, I think my avatar is a bit underweight for what I intend her to look like.

But hey, tip:

If your shape does this: ><
You aren't that attractive.

I love curves or even a bit of extra weight. <3 to the full figured women.

*giggle* Agreed. I myself have a fairly curvy AV, and don't really plan to change it. It's led to some funny moments, though, shopping with friends. We'll find a nice outfit, and a friend will suggest that I should get it for myself. The phrase "No way.. not with *my* hips!" comes up a lot, which always confuses them. If I wanted to change my hips, just move the slider, right?

Well, yes and no. I could do that. But it wouldn't look like my AV anymore. At least not to me. I feel an identity with the self I have on SL, such that although I do tweak my look from time to time, I'm not going to make any major body changes for something as simple as clothes.

But I guess it's a matter of taste, like all things. In the same way that some tend to certain (however physically improbable) body types, some tend toward a more fluid view of how they look online. To some, it's just a look. To other's, it's a being.

--Carolyn
(Tired Auntie in the early morning who hopes what she just wrote makes sense)

ALL THE CHUBBY GIRLS IN THE HOUSE, THROW YOUR HANDS UP!!

In a virtual world where all the girls are 6'10" and have Body Fat and Body Width set to 0, I am happy to NOT do that as well.

I saw Siobhan at the Welcome Area a few days ago. She made her av all short so it'd match mine. It was soooo cute!

My personal opinion can be summed up by the following:

Shortness is cute. Chubbiness is cute. Shortness + Chubbiness = OMFGCUTE.




But, in the end, I think the collaborative Paint drawing I did with my friend Jora says it best:

Hi all,

I have recently had the experience of what happens to my sense of identity when I "out" myself...

I treat SL as a Second Life. Not as an extension of my First Life, although to some extent, this is impossible to avoid...

But when I am on SL, I AM the Av plus His / Her environment.

It would normally never have entered my head to betray or reveal my physical gender online... But there was someone who found out, and convinced me (temporarily) that it is deceitful... Hello, bad conscience.

When I am here, I AM who I present myself as.. I could only consider revealing my online gender to someone who became a PERSONAL friend, in Real... But I feel it is something I would do or not, depending entirely on whether this strengthened the relationship... Not as an automatic knee jerk Unveiling... And for a REAL friend, the disclosure would not matter either way. This is a matter of GREAT trust, unveiling Real Life gender, and not for casual nosy parkers, however morally nervous they might be.

Now to the point: One of my two Accounts (I have two separate accounts for the two separate AVs) DID have to reveal themselves, due to peer pressure in SL (which I stupidly succumbed to) ... And now the Life that this AV had is almost dead.. I think I betrayed its identity, possibly fatally. The fun and games that this AV had, have all turned to dust...

I will try to get the life back into it... But my suggestion: If you are playing the opposite sex to your own, and you don't feel it is bad, don't let peer pressure push you into dumb actions. The End of the Pretend can also be the End of this particular Second Life.

I requote from an earlier post: "you are, who you pretend to be..." And add to that, "if you kill the pretense, you are no longer".

And as for sexual adventures in cross Av mode? Why not??? These are SL adventures in an SL Avatar... and whether I am here as M or F, the feelings are mine, and real...

------------------------------------------------------------

ADDENDUM, just to balance out my absolutism

One point though, on trust: I find it CRITICAL to this style of play, that when a romantic engagement looms, that either a) romance is completely shut out, or b) if the relationship can take it, my RL gender is revealed, as a confidence and in trust. If the relationship will NOT handle that, see a). At this pint, pretending becomes deceit for me.

In the case of friendships: when it starts getting to the point where we are confiding in each other... the cover has to go. But it weakens the av concerned each time, considerably...

The Pretending is a sacred part of each AV, (I could almost say the Soul of each Av) and I as the Player behind the Curtain owe my Avs the right to an independent and sef-sufficient existence in SL.

I get the point regarding deceit; however, my Avs must live their (Second) lives true to their OWN selves, this is THEIR integrity, not true to MY self, that is my integrity.. Making my avs exist to fulfill some RL charactersitics I have would just be fooling around, and would degrade the personality of that particular AV into just a "lets pretend" toy.

Betraying their RL gender can be as much a violation of their integrity as not Revealing it when it becomes relevant... And I do not lightly take upon myself the right to destroy the personality that one of my avs has painstakingly built up...

As others have said, better than I can, playing both sides is really difficult, in the long term. But also extremely enriching!

My avatar has curves. She has body fat, she has love handles, a butt and breasts just like me. She is hot!!!!! I know this because of so many comments. I am real in a virtual world.

wrong place to post this, sorry, I am all woman in RL as I am in SL.