Lesbians in SL

I tried hard not to look like a noob and searched for a topic like this, but I'm surprised there hasn't been one (that I found).

Anyhow, I'm not making any assumptions here, but we all know there are a lot of girl/girl relationships in SL... How many of these girls are actually guys in RL?

Being that this is a game and ones character can really be what one wishes, and really doesn't have to talk about RL at all, I have no problem with people doing that in such cases, but... I can't help but wonder if some guys make their character female and lesbian because they find the idea of a lesbian relationship a turn-on? I guess I would, so I don't see why others wouldn't. However a personal preference of mine is if there's any romantic connection metween me and another avie, it's nice for them to be female in RL as well. I had a discussion with a friend on this who's argument was "who cares? its just a game", and her points were all valid, but I'm just commenting on my personal 'preference' and am curious to what other's thoughts on it are.

Some of you have probably heard jokes or joked about guys going into lesbian chat rooms because flirting as a guy with a girl is harder than flirting as a girl to a girl, but it turns out all the guys there are doing the same thing? Couldn't help but wonder if many lesbians in SL would fall under the same category.

If you are an SL lesbian and a female in RL, don't worry, I believe you, the lesbians ive met in SL definitely had a "woman" personality, hehe as far as i can tell from the game anyways. Just my thoughts.

Any comments?

Yeah - there are a lot of men playing women AV's in SL. I know a couple women who are or have played men av's.

Which is fine.

What's not ok with me is when there is deception where one person becomes emotionally involved with another and is deceived about their gender - ie. a man believing he is involved with a woman, and discovers that actually the "woman" av is being played by a man. And visa versa.

Hmmmm. I prefer if people stay with their real genders in SL. Or else we could have a Jerry Springer SL edition coming up .

As for going into lesbian chats... Huh? I for one prefer things I can get, and since I have a Y chromosome, lesbians are not one of those. Its like looking at a Ferrari when all you can afford is Hyundai

As for you pretending to be a lesbian...not going to be too believable with a name like Johney

Yeah the deception thing I guess is what I'd be worried about the most.

I dont think men playing as women is a lesbian issue really. Everyone is different, Im sure there are as many reasons for what people do as their are people. I play as a woman sometimes, but its just because I can, not because I am trying to decieve anyone. I would never start a relationship or fling with someone under false pretenses. I act the same regardless of if I am playing male or female, if someone is in doubt, all they have to do is ask.

And, FYI there is a lesbian forum here in the SL Groups section. You can find it here: Lesbian Second Life

Haha, well i was just comparing this situation in SL to those stories.... bash.org comment i read today

Haha and no I would never pretend to be a lesbian. Just that it would be interesting to try in SL should a (RL) female want to for some reason... and it would be easier for me to do so in SL than in RL, heheheh

42

Or it could also be a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman....

Most of the people playing female characters will tell you their gender if you ask. And guys play women for many more reasons then just lesbian sex. Some play them because they are more fun to dress. They look better (face it, its is way harder to make a nice looking guy in SL). And women and men are treated differently, and SL is one outlet for exploring that. I've known straight men to play female characters and cyber with male characters because to them straight sex was more natural than gay sex. And it makes sense since gender doesn't dictate our sexuality.

Hmmm, from my personal experience, I know TOMS of guys play gals. And, yaknow, to me, it's no big issue. It's never bothered me, honestly, and I've never really understood why people are twitched by it

It probably only bothers the quasi-homophobic men who want to play at being women. You know: the ones who think that lesbians are "HOT, MAN!" but who would be horrified to find that they'd been, um, getting busy with another silly dude!
Really, though, this fear affords RL lesbians a little protection -- if not from all faux lesbians, then at least the particularly stupid ones!

In another game online I dated a woman for a while that turned out to be a man. But that wasnt the only thing he lied about. I guess if the person is basically dishonest they will lie about all sorts of things.

It really doesnt make sense though, since a man hoping to meet a woman who would be really interested in him is not going to be sucessfull pretending to be a woman .. since once the truth comes out - She wont want him for at least two reasons - He lied and shes a lesbian.

Even in Second life where there a lot of women who are willing to be Bi or lesbian online that wouldnt be in Real life .. there still are more straight women by a considerable margin. So youd think men doing this sort of thing would be counter productive.

As for men that are just pretending to be women for "casual hawt girl girl sex" .. well they really should prolly consider that there are probably other men only after the same thing .. so they may be actually getting "casual hawt boy boy sex", if they arent bisexual, they might not like that situation.

I think also many people have different levels of detachment when they have relationships in the game. But if one partner is being honest sharing personal information, and another is lying and sharing false personal information .. then thast a recipie for disaster and hurt.

Bite your tongue. My av is totally hawt.

um, Kasandra come visit me sometime my Avie will WROOCK YOUR WORLD baby..

I'm not arrogant I just look good and know it..hehe.






















Just kidding

Shadow

hehe, I look good, but my female av looks better . and it's much more fun to shop as a female.

The default for the client is 3rd perspective, so guys playing women are actually controlling the avies that they find attractive and making them do things, as opposed to being the avie.

Gay, Straight or transvestite!!? It maybe true for some, but usually I wouldn't read anything more into it other than people enjoy having a cute ass in front of them to play with.

I never make any assumptions about the sex of the player behind the avatar, as it is irrelevant to the reasons I enjoy SL.

I suppose that would explain some of the bitchiness you see on here.

I have an additional comment


this thread is of course misnamed

It should read as .. men pretending to be lesbians in SL

since that seems to be the subject.

Everyone in SL is a lesbian, some people just don't realize it yet.

Two of my female alts are partnered after all!

If any lesbians are unsure of their lifestyle and have doubts, spend an evening with me and you'll leave knowing you made the right choice.

Oh wait...

I beleive this sort of statement is why i had to make the comment

As a woman, it takes a lot of self realization, courage, and ability to be able to recognize your feelings against what you are told is wrong to admit you are attracted to other women.

It takes none of these things for a man to pretend to be a woman and say "she" wants to date women.

RL always takes ALOT more courage than SL, kind of silly to compare the two in terms of courage. And yes I do applaud those standing up for their beliefs.

Yes Real Life is what im reffering to.

It is true it is much easier for women to experiment with lesbian sex, and even a Online lesbian life style in Second Life. Most of these I have met make it very clear how they are in real life on this matter.

I do not live a lesbian lifestyle in real life .. im married with two children. (please keep any comments about my infidelity to yourself - its not your life)

I have dated women both in real life and online. A very good friend of mine who is a lesbian told me not to be too quick to label myself.

So as far as being a lesbian the answer is- I am still learning who I am.

I have seen some of the discrimination involved, but by no means claim to have experienced it on any scale like a lesbian who is living an openly gay life style.

It is pretty disrespectful of lesbians and homosexuals in general for men to pretend to be women and call themselves lesbians.

That all being said ...

I more made this comment becuase of the men pretending and calling themselves lesbians ... less the actual playing of female avatars by men.

I suppose it could be seperate issue from a casual hook up . since anyone in that situation isnt really looking past "skin" deep anyhow. My liar boyfriend was very good at pretending when it came to Sapphic cybersex.

The dynamics of gender and relationships in SL are as complex as Hamlet's wonderful piece attests: http://secondlife.blogs.com/nwn/2005/01/man_and_man_on_.html