What makes life better?

Coming to grips with being "the end of the line" is difficult. It can really take the wind out of your sails at unexpected moments. (For other reasons I won't be having children either, and thanks to allergies, no dogs or cats either.)

Counselling sounds like an very good alternative. Teaching is a excellent avenue as well as it builds connections with people in your community.

When I start feeling "The Pointlessness" setting in, I keep in mind that there are a hell of a lot of people on this planet already. They should hand out awards to people that aren't making more.

If it helps, be a little selfish once in a while... go out and have fun, do things that parents with children would wish they could do.

Really though, I think the key thing is making sure we have a place in the lives of the people around us. If the role of mother or father isn't an option for us, then invest yourself in being a better spouse, aunt or uncle, neighbor or friend to people in your life.

Hmm.

I strongly recommend this book:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_of_Pi

Now, it may seem insanely irrelevant at first blush - what's a kid lost at sea on a raft with a tiger got to do with any of this?

But it does.




Also - early on, the protagonist of the book discusses the life of zoo animals.

Turns out, that for many animals they *are* happy in captivity. VERY happy.

Not all animals have the wanderlust that humans do. In a nicely defined 'safe territory' complete with regular food, a water supply, warmth and lots of prospective mates - what more could one ask for?

It's a telling commentary about spirituality, the nature of desire, and what it means to be happy.

That is a very good book.

Here's my list of things that make life better

My 1 year old smiling and yelling Mama at the top of his lungs whenever I come into a room
My 6 year old telling me he loves me, even though I'm a grumpypants
My boyfriend telling me he loves me, and his day isn't complete without talking to me.
Knowing I have friends all over the world
My cat deciding he doesn't hate me for allowing other cats to exist and sitting in my lap and purring.
Cold Dr Pepper, sunflower seeds, and slimjims
Tattoos
Saturday Afternoon naps
Knowing that no matter how bad things are I still have people who care about me.

I'm sure my things that make life better aren't for everyone, but they keep me going.

oh I forgot to add MARGARITAS!






and yes that is my actual degree from Margaritaville State University

I believe Life would improve greatly if we could Impeach King George the Second and remove him,and Dick, "Gun Happy" Chaney, and their gang from Office.

*yawn*
I think life would be better if you got you trumpet fixed, it still only plays one note

That was fast. otherwise, YAWN

we keeping you up?

Breaking the TOS this morning? you know you can't post the same thing to more than one thread.

practice what you preach

you post the same thing in every thread

My warning is not the exact same thing. Yours is so similar you must had went to a Xerox machine and copied it.

I wasn't talking about your "warnings" I was referring to your actual posts, we all know you just change the word order.

Nope both sentences are origional. But more importantly, I am not stuck in First Gear.

since first gear has the most power, I'll take that as a compliment

What makes life better is the ability to be happy no matter what happens.

I sooooo need a bang-my-head-on-the-wall smiley.

What makes MY life better is knowing that it will come to an end.

ouch

you ok?

Ananda,

I think this is a question that many people ask themselves every day. I know I do. I can intellectually understand what would improve my life, and I can outline steps to take that would surely improve my life, or how I feel about it. But there can be a definite emptiness, even when things are going well.

I think that taking the time to notice the small things, and appreciate them, is a good first step. There is alot of beauty in the world that is overlooked. And there is the chance for creativity in amny situtations.

I think even effecting one other persons life in a truly positive way can make things worth while. We all fear that we will die having accomplished nothing of value. But how you've interacted with others, even if just a few, can make a life very worthwhile.

I feel a sad emptiness often, and wonder, as the years pass me by, if I will ever live up to my own expectations for myself. It might still happen, and it might not, but I can look back and know with certainty that I have done far more good than harm in my lifetime, and I can appreciate those special brief moments of wonder when they occur.

As for purpose. I doubt any action that we take here on this physical realm really will make much of a difference in a thousand years, but what will make a difference is how we view ourselves and how we interact, and hopefully help, others in their life.

Yes..I am rambling.

Losing something incredibly precious to you only to find that it's not the end of the world.

I think Mrs. Dearly Darling (that's how I think of you! lol) is quite right on this. Things do have a way of working out.

We were not able to have children, and it was one of those cases where there were a few little things, but never really anything huge wrong.

So we looked at in vitro and all that, and adoption. It took forever. Finding the right doctors. Applying at agencies. But no babies were coming. I, too, wanted this so much, but after a time, I began to accept the fact that it just might not happen, not even the adoption. I might not have children in this life, unbelievable though it seemed.

So, I started to think about a future without kids. I didn't like the idea, of course, but I made up my mind that if children didn't happen, I would focus on other things. And I know I could have done it, and still been happy, despite this huge, great disappointment of not getting something I had planned all my life to have. In other words, I got to a place where I was okay with it.

Soon after that - after AGES of waiting - we got baby number one from the adoption agency. Even that was full of trials, and wasn't finalized till the baby was two because of legal issues. Then, when she was 2 and a half, we got baby number two! (Also a girl, and gorgeous, both of them!)

But the important part of the story I'm sharing, I think, is the part where I thought to myself, ok, I will just make something different from my life. And I think even if the babies hadn't come, Mrs. Dearly Darling is right - that would have been okay, too, with wonderful surprises of its own, because things do have a strange way of working out, one way or the other.

coco

Thank you, Coco, for sharing that. It is really good for me to hear stories from people who've gone through this and come out on the other side. I'm finding my way, but gd, was it ever hard at first.

Ananda, I'm sorry if I hijacked your thread a little. But in any case, thank you for starting the discussion.

Can I have you babies? I'll raise them all as Gorean furries.

Well, physically...yes.