Advice requested by new SL Dom

I've been in SL a good few months now, learned the basics, picked up some skills, earned a few lindens and got myself some land but always felt something was missing. I decided it was time to incorporate a part of my RL self that is generally kept out of public view into SL and already I feel much happier.

I am a Dom, a little different from the others I've seen.
I don't do Gor.
I'm not heavily into BDSM (in fact if my sub prefers it I am happy to forgo a sexual relationship)
All I ask is that my sub(s) submits to me, gives me her love, trust and respect, in return I will offer a home, my time, my love, my trust and my protection. I will support them in their SL endevours, encourging them to learn new skills and seek out opportunities.

I want this in SL only, my RL is just fine as it is

My problem is, I'm finding it difficult to meet potential candidates. I checked out the Seeking ads at the M&S store but none were appropriate and as this isn't an area I've spent much time in SL up to now I'm not sure of what to do next.

Can other Doms, Masters, Mistresses, Subs, Slaves, pets advise me? I am aware it will take time to get to know someone before I could offer them my collar but if I can at least start getting to know people who are in the right mindset it would be a start.
For some reason i found this bit much easier in RL LOL.

Many thanks.

So basically you want a 1950s housewife?

No - more than that!

a 1950's TV housewife!

You find someone to love and have be a part of your life the same way you would in RL. Look in groups and join some of them, go to some of the gatherings in clubs or those groups (The Forum is a good group, from what I understand) and meet people that way. It IS going to take time, so get to know people and you will eventually find someone. Well, probably will find someone. Good luck in your search and dont be too strict with what you want/dont want...you never know what might happen in the crazy world of SL, trust me. You might find someone that wants 75% of the same things, at which point you compromise...you get my point. Good luck again.

You have the Makings of a Good Domme, Provided you have Something to Teach your Sub. The relationship Needn't be a sexual thing, Sex is simply a Training tool Not the centre point of the D/s Relationship.

I am a Mistress of Many Years experience, and i can see precisely where you are coming from. I'm Out of SL for a Few days, But PM me here and we Can Talk Further. I think i can Guide you.

Angel.

From what I've seen on the forums, Angelique is also a very reasonable, trustworthy, and considerate person...I wouldn't doubt that she can help you figure things out.

Many thanks to those who have provdied constuctive feedback. I will take this on board and follow your advice.

To those who preferred to attack unprovoked and come to unjustified conclusions your willingness to publically display your ignorance about D/s relationships in such a way says so much more about you than what you tried to slander me with. Good Luck with your lives, I wish you happiness.

No one attacked you or came to any conclusions. A couple of good natured jokes were made, hardly slander. This girl thinks Mistress needs to lighten up a bit.

Another place you may enjoy is the BDSM Forum, its a place in world where people meet up, hang out and have some rather interesting chats!
You will meet lots of like-minded people and make many friends. I am not in world at the moment but if you wish when I log in I will send you the landmark

Thank you Tiana I will check it out. - Pls do send me the LM when you have the time as it doesn't seem to show up in search

Brenda, I see you may be right and I send my apologies to those I may have offended. I suppose I was a little too keen to defend myself when I wasn't really under attack.

FYI though, I'm a Master, not a Mistress.

Odds are, you will be attacked in due time, you'll know for sure. Just look at some of the other Dom/Sub discusssions . And thank you for correcting me on your gender.

I guess those that are in the BDSM lifestyle are too used to being attacked, its hard to see the joke sometimes, and text isn't the best medium for humour unless you are a James Thurber

A lot of people see submissives as being Stepford wives; you may/may not be surprised how many times we hear this. I am not surprised the jokes were made, nor am i surprised that the OP didn't see them as jokes at first.

Perhaps we should include in the newbie welcome pack (see another thread) some links to websites that explain the world of BDSM , since for many, SL is their first encounter with BDSM and all people think they have to do to join in is get a Domly Dom alt name and a cheap freebie riding crop and then treat a girl mean.

Imogen

There was a lady looking to be a slave in these very forums not long ago... maybe scroll back a few pages and hook up?

Tho, never know, if you have a partner in first life make sure they didn't join SL just a few weeks ahead...

sings: "If you like pina coladas..."

There are free BDSM classifieds at Sensations (the new island north of Aurora). Basically you fill out a notecard and pass it to Earalia.

You can also put out an SL classified (check the Classified tab of your profile). I personally have met several pets through both methods.

I'll also note that it's rare to meet non-gorean male doms in SL, and that I believe we need more of them. (It's a topic I just wrote about this week, in fact.)

I would most certainly encourage you to look into SL BDSM - remember that it is a rather broad term that doesn't have to include any bondage or "pain." It seems to be a diverse community and for every strict Mistress I've met an equally doting and "loving" Mistress. (I know that you are a Master but I assume the same applies). In fact, I'd bet you'd be more likely to find someone like you describe rather than someone extreme.

But as with *any* SL relationship that lasts longer than a few days, you'll need patience.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of non-gorean Doms on SL; problem is, 45 percent of them think they are gorean, and another 45 percent of them don't know much if anything about Gor and still think they would like to be gorean. The remaining ten percent, in my estimation and opinion, are genuine non-gorean Doms, and they ARE rare.

Dont get me started

Did you read his post? He's a Dom.


He also said he doesn't do gor.

Are they? I guess this isn't the norm but I haven't met another Dom that IS gor.. heh. I've seen a few in passing but the ones I meet and talk to are not.

Actually, I politely left out my qualification: "I'll also note that it's rare to meet GOOD non-gorean male doms in SL."

And there are some who are a little bit of both.

A: Typo
B: Nor do I anymore, and i Didn't begin the D/s Lifestyle as a Gorean.

Angel.

I find it really hard to be polite on this subject, I guess its a bit like how i feel about suicide bombers and Ebola...

I guess i am too bolshie to apply for the vacant position with the OP huh?

Imogen.. not a very subby sub

Actually I like a girl with a bit of "spirit" shows character, a sub who simply obeys everything withotu question would very boring. I want someone I can have intelligent conversations with to.
Note I've at no point said that I want a Slave. There's a line between Sub and Slave and I know which I prefer.

Again Thank you all for your input, this is very useful.

It's even rarer to find someone who does realzie that being a sub is not the same as being a slave. i for one salute You for knowing the difference. Best of luck in Your search, good subs are out there, just seem to be a bit rare at times

But if you did, I might find it interesting