Moving On - Thoughts From a Former SL Addict

I find the concept of a virtual world becoming more important than the real world really frightening for some reason. I guess mostly because it could dissapear with the flick of a switch. I guess that doesn't make me the poster girl for the metaverse but I still really enjoy it in smaller doses. Everything in moderation.

'

But doesn't RL end the same way.. a flip of some cosmic switch?

I guess for you SL is more of a part time job than a pastime which is OK I guess. But your example is exactly why I have shunned any type of money making opprtunity so far. I don't want Sl to be work, I sometimes can't log on much for a couple of days, especially in the summer. I guess that's the best part of SL it can be different things to all of us. I hope that doesn't change.

What I need is a 3rd life to escape from my second and first life.

I rectified that situation, but still visit RL fairly often.

I am happy to report I am no longer an addict! I got over it!

Oh, I was hooked good. It had its pleasant aspects, sometimes very intensely pleasuraqble. I admit it. But the drawbacks just became too much to endure. First of all, it was so time-consuming! Hour after hour, immersed, almost totally distracted from what was really important. And second, it was actually interfering with what was really important! Finally, I realized I had to act.

What worked for me was gradually cutting down on the time wasted on it. And one by one, Just Saying No to the demands it made on me. First the weaker ones, then gradually, working my way up to confronting and defeating the stronger ones. Each little victory was like a shot of adrenaline for me, giving me the strength and the incentive to tackle another one. And finally I did it.

Oh, I still pay regular visits, don't get me wrong. But I have them down to an irreducible minimum now, and they are under control. I'm proud to say I've defeated that longstanding addiction to RL - outside of sleeping and a few regrettably necessary biological functions and unavoidable maintenance activities, I now spend virtually all the time virtually, in SL!

Just be inspired by my example and work at it, and you too can be like me: SL, and proud of it!

Ok, I am fully aware that the nature of all forums will likely turn this post into an argument, but I wanted to write down some of my thoughts on SL from the perspective of a former addict. Please bear with me if I start to ramble.

I created my first SecondLife avitar in February of 2006. At that time, I was having some serious marital and personal issues in my real life and I found SL more than a tad alluring. I saw it as an opportunity to be the "ideal me"...everything from the way I looked, to how I behaved in social situations, to shopping, work, and "family". I quickly made friends and and began logging in on a regular basis.

Unexpectedly, I passed numerous SL milestones that I did not see coming. I have been in "SL love" three times during the past year and a half. Made hundreds of thousands of L as a DJ. Learned to build, bargain shop, help newbies and adopt family members. I have met some of the nicest, most interesting people and forged friendships that transferred to my Real Life.

My Second Life became paramount to me....when I was not logged in, I felt as if I were asleep almost...away from the world where I lived. At times, I spent up to 14 hours per day in-world. The people in my real life took a back burner, along with real world responsibilites and commitments. Do not get me wrong, I do not feel that this was in any way the fault of the game. The reasons are simple: I was so unhappy with my real life, that I took the opportunity to create a second life very seriously, and I was bound and determined to make it better than my first life.

The result was an undeniable neglect of myself and my family. The ramifications so severe that the consequences forced me out of Second Life if I was going to keep living. I had to start over in a sense...get a grip on my priorities and re-build the trust of confidence of my love ones. I am now divorced, a single mother trying to make ends meet. I no longer have the time to maintain much of a Second Life, though I admittedly miss the escape it provided. I am thankful for the friends I made, the lessons I learned and where I am today.

I'm not entirely sure why I am writing this. Perhaps as a warning to those who seek out their SecondLife in order to escape their real life. Perhaps as a confession to those who knew me back then. Regardless...I hope I don't get flamed too awfully bad from those defensive of their own motivations for being in-world. I am fully aware that MANY MANY people do not become as addicted as I was, and are able to maintain both lives without problems. To all, I wish only the best and I thank you for being part of my Second Life experience. It truly changed my life.

Used to be, when I spent nearly every waking hour in SL, friends and family would talk about "that game" and pick on me for it. They've cut that out since I hired them.

If I had yielded to their pressure and said, "Oh no, I am a tragic Internet addict!" I would probably be sitting in a cubicle in an office somewhere in Silicon Valley right now, workin' for The Man and watching the clock and hating the crap out of it. Instead, I'm sitting around in my jammies in my home office, where I run a RL business creating SL content for The Man on my terms. Halfway across the US from Silicon Valley . . . with my man . . . who I met in SL.

Some people have a problem with excessive escapism in various forms . . . online games, television, reading, pr0n, or whatever. But there are people around here who are working to learn skills or to build businesses, and often they start out looking just the same as the "addicts." What's the difference? Whether or not you're better off. I sure am. And I actually spend a bit less time in SL these days, because now that my start-up is off the ground, I can take a little time off.

Dedicated, hard-working artists and scientists and musicians and authors and inventors and others are viewed as obsessed kooks, usually for years . . . until they make it, and then the press refers to them as "an overnight success." Just pointing this out, in support of the unrecognized SL geniuses out there who need a pat on the back. Maybe you aren't crazy.

Dedicated, hard-working artists and scientists and musicians and authors and inventors and others are viewed as obsessed kooks, usually for years . . . until they make it, and then the press refers to them as "an overnight success." Just pointing this out, in support of the unrecognized SL geniuses out there who need a pat on the back. Maybe you aren't crazy.