Anyone here speak Corporate?

... and can translate the following into English?

"In 2006, The Electric Sheep Company designed and constructed the UGS Innovation Connection for global software firm UGS. To enable collaboration through Global Innovation Networks, UGS develops and leverages 3D modeling, visualization, and collaboration technologies. Virtual environments like Second Life were a natural and exciting extension of these technologies. Through UGS Innovation Connection, customers and partners are experimenting with new collaboration and visualization technologies inside Second Life. "

Is it any wonder that so many corporations don't manage to successfully integrate into the Second Life community, when they bombard us with stuff like that? Is it the fault of the company for not understanding, or the fault of the developers for not explaining things properly?

By the way, has anyone ever visited - or heard of - this place? I hadn't.

Broccoli

It means they are a design and modeling firm--they work with both SL and RL clients. Same as I do...even I'M not that cut and dry with my company description.

Electric Sheep rock though...they are a superb design firm, with super talented folks. The reason their lingo is so lingoed is because they are such a successful company...it goes with the territory. I'm sure they have nice legal copy too. *me drools*

Why didn't they just say that then? Do corporations not realise that 'business speak' and 'buzzwords' don't impress us?

Broccoli

If you write extremely complex sentences with technical terminology it helps you charge higher prices, since some customers wont understand it and be impressed.

If its an internal description its often done to try to avoid getting either budget or headcount slashed.

No they dont.

LOL Ive been to meetings where the whole goal of the meeting was to come up with fancy sounding lingo like that.

"UGS are a 3D design and communication firm. We built them a sim so they could try doing 3D design and communication in Second Life. They and their customers and co-workers are trying it out now."

Um, I think.

"We" might not the "us" that they are trying to impress.

Like... distilled achieveables?

http://www.robietherobot.com/buzzword.htm ... if you can't make up your own, this website will make them for you.

Broccoli

That didn't sound too bad to me, and it contains very few corporate buzzwords. "Leverages" is really the only one in there, and that's pretty far down on my annoying buzzword list. Ad copy is written for the audience its targeted at, and you're obviously not in that audience. I'm no fan of corp-speak, but it's like Pavlov's bell to the kind of people that copy is meant to appeal to.

It's also a highly effective technique for dealing with overbearing clients whose egos compel them to constantly make annoying little demands just so they can impose their will. If you hit them with the most overly technical explanation of why you plan to do something a certain way their enormous egos generally won't allow them to admit that they have no idea what you're talking about, and nine times out of ten they'll back off and let you do your job.

translation:

UGS is a design and devlopment company that uses SL as a guinea pig for thier ideas.

Very unique outlook. I think--concerning certain clients--you hit the hail on the nead.

Broccoli

I think a little proactive, blue sky thinking is what's required here. Out of the box.

BLECH

/me goes away cos Broccoli's name is, as always, making me VERY hungry.

Spot on, Yumi. You're hired for the translator position!

You've heard of ESC, right? It's the mysterious UGS that eludes. And the corporate-speak does a pretty good job of maintaining their still-anonymous mystique. It's just dense enough to trigger the My Eyes Glaze Over effect, without being quite aggravating enough to actually make one curious. A fine specimen in the art of obfuscating the obvious.

The way this actually happens, though, is that such copy is never written all of a piece, but rather, assorted sources (bits of a client press release, a monthly progress report, a couple of corporate "vision" statements) are dumped in a bin, vibrated until the rough edges wear off, and polished to a dull sheen by little elves.

They impress people with money, though. That's the key!

Leverages is an okay word Broccoli.

It also means they hope for loads more business on the back of what appears to be a contract win mate. A previous poster on this thread was right....that news release was not entirely aimed at us.

When meeting with corporate sales people, play "Corporate Bingo" - the techies all get a card with words such as Drilling Down, Suboptimal, User Experience, Gut Meter, Fast Track, etc. are marked off as they are said. First one to win says "Bingo!", another Corporate lingo word, and goes unnoticed.

This could be problematic given the parameters of the paradigm we are leveraging for a long term consensus on the notion of accessibility in terms of scale and wide focus marketing.

Actually this pitch is not aimed at us fellow citizens but at their customers
and manages quite well too get its message over

Some of the interim issues facing us now are the potential granularity of and user co-operation with the interfaced application.

And the interfaced application, at the moment, "has stability issues."

The e-consumers engagement within our virtual realm is currently impaired on a level regarded by industry benchmarks as sub-optimum.

http://www.andrewdavidson.com/gibberish/?companyname=Electric+Sheep+Company

I found out how they made that statement! Go see!!

We build 3D worlds. Look! We have customers! No, seriously, we're not a couple nerdy teenagers who'll get bored and walk away, see! We know corp speak! You need an MBA for that, so hey, you won't get fired for hiring complete flakes.

Its a signaling device the corporate classes use to say they're on the level.